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| G.I. Hijo; vs. COOOOOBRAAAAAA! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 28 2009, 02:07 AM (52 Views) | |
| Skell | Feb 28 2009, 02:07 AM Post #1 |
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[align=center]*Some kinda robot.*[/align] *The scene opens up with Scotty and Turmoil sitting on a hotel room couch. Staring blankly at Hijo who is standing in the doorway* Hijo: THAT'S THE PLAN! *Hijo triumphantly turns around and leaves the room shutting the door behind him. Turmoil turns to Scotty* Turmoil: What the hell was that about? Scotty: How the hell should I know what he's talking about? Turmoil: You've known him longer. Scotty: Unfortunately yes, but I'm not a mind reader. All he did was walk in here yell that that was apparently "the plan" and walk out. so your guess is as good as mine. *The scene fades* [align=center] *Truthiness*[/align] *The scene opens with Hijo in a hotel lobby and he's currently standing in front of a pay phone holding the earpiece up to the side of his face* Hijo: You see coach it's simple... He's been stealing peoples masks... my mask... not stolen... therefore I clearly won. *Hijo pulls the earpiece away from his wear as you can hear a string of loud explitives explode out of it, Hijo notices the camera* Hijo: That's great coach I gotta go I have another appointment. *Hijo hangs up on who you can only assume was an angry Jefe.* Hijo: Hello there, world warriors it is I Zangief, The Russian Wrestling Powerhouse... wait no I'm not... Why the hell would I say that? *Hijo scratches his head* Hijo: Anyway crimestoppers I am reasonably certain that I am your favorite masked wrestler named Max Rowley, El Hijo Del Awesome Maxime Rowley, and I'd like to take the time to comment on some comments that other people uh... commented during Revolt last week. *Hijo grabs His Title off the ledge of the Pay phone and begins walking through the lobby* Hijo: Anyway, Smelly called out K.K. Slider the two of them talked for a while and it led to basically K. saying that everything that's went right for the Phoenix was directly responsible to K. Stealing Phoenix's stinky mask... well that's clearly simply not true. *Hijo walks by the check in counter and snags his keycard from the guy at the counter... well you assume it's Hijo's keycard...truthfully Hijo could have just stolen someone elses room... but let's give him the benefit of the doubt...* Hijo: I mean lets look at history... Phoenix's first match in this place... at Blessed & Forsaken in a dark match teaming with me for the first time... a victory... granted most people might not count that since it was a dark match... those people are jerks and I hope they know that The Hijo hates them... almost as much as children and the elderly. *Hijo speaks in a low voice while shaking his fist* Hijo: Oh how I hate them... *Hijo goes back to his normal voice and continues walking normally* Hijo: then the next night she takes on that great looking Max Rowley and his partner for the Night Roxie Galanoochie and loses... followed by a victory with a team of other masked people... Then he gets pinned in a 3 way tag team match... then a loss at Hallow'evolt... and then again the next week... and then a loss to Harrison O'reilly and then the next week he lost his mask... *Hijo pauses as he walks up to the elevators* Hijo: Coincidentally... the next week the Higher ups decided on forcing Los Dos Hombres as a legitimate tag team... but as you'll notice... he was winning before he lost his mask... sure his record was pretty spotty... but you'll notice the pattern of winning when he was in the ring tagged with people with more talent then he does. *Hijo calls the elevator.* Hijo: So I guess what I'm saying is... the real reason for Phoenix's rise to prominence and success... isn't so much tied to his smelly mask that I'm sure somehow smells worse now then it did... and more to do with his piggy backing off the total awe-fullness that is The Hijo... of THE AWESOME. *The elevator opens and Hijo steps in and the scene fades* [align=center] *The Hijo is original*[/align] *The scene opens up with Hijo leaning against the wall of an empty elevator...Hijo has at some point put the title on his waist* Hijo: Now I'd like to point out the lack of originality I've been seeing... Hijo: I mean seriously everyone's trying to cash in on my Hijoness... what with a couple weeks ago with the debut and apparent death of El Hijo Del Orange... followed by the reemergence of El Hijo Del O'Brien, Hijo: But we all know that it doesn't matter how many Hijo's there are... I am the one TRUE Hijo... I was first and therefore the best... also I have the coolest mask of all of them... Hijo: Also I'm not an expert on that wacky space language... but I think their names should be De Orange and De O'brien... since Del means of the... so The Hijo of Orange and Hijo of O'Brien... unless my old buddy Citrus Magnate... *Hijo unfastens and flips his tag title over his shoulder because... well does he need a reason at this point* Hijo: and Jim O'Brien started referring to themselves with the article THE while I wasn't looking... granted my attention span is pretty short... *Hijo stops and thinks for a minute* Hijo: What the hell was I talking about again... oh yeah... So did you guys see that dropkick of mine from two weeks ago was that a thing a beauty or what?! *Hijo nods self assured that was indeed what he was talking about* Hijo: Do you think any of the other Hijo's could pull something off that good? I Doubt it... cause that was absolutely perfect... from the height to the leg extension... to the angle... seriously GREATNESS! *Hijo fooled you by actually staying on topic didn't he! >_>*Hijo: But I'm getting distracted again... but with the dropkick in question how couldn't I right? Right... anyway Basically my point is... The hijo has never stolen or even copied anything in his life... *Hijo looks around as if metaphysically looking at the style of this promo that was shamelessly stolen from his tag partner for no good reason* Hijo: Alright well there was that one time that I used a photocopier for uh... research purposes... *Hijo snickers too himself* Hijo: now many of you are wondering why I didn't cut to what I'm talking about to get the joke... but that was before I started taping everything I ever did. *The elevator doors open and the scene fades* [align=center]*The End is the Beginning*[/align] *The scene opens up with Hijo walking down a hotel hallway* Hijo: Now then I've been told by my people that this week His Hijoness, and The Smelly One are taking on team FuckaYeti. Hijo: Let me start out by saying that's not as good a suggestion as you might think... what with all the hair them being mythical beasts and all... but other then that the team itself is Graver and Kiyoshi Nakahata. *Hijo continues walking down the corridor passing through a random archway. * Hijo: But the Hijo digresses... The Hijo is not going to lie and say that The Hijo has studied every match these people have had or anything... cause honestly I don't know much about either of these two. *Hijo pauses* Hijo: The Hijo has faced Graver before he thinks.... but I don't remember and I'm sure that means it's unimportant, also I believe Kiyoshi is someone of a Japanese persuasion... but for all I know they're a team of a phantom spaceman and a Space Robot... in fact until I'm proven otherwise that's what I'm going to go with... and let me just state that I am appalled that I have to fight two interplanetary foes, and the FIW should be ashamed for making these scientific discoveries fight for their own amusement... HOW DO YOU PEOPLE SLEEP AT NIGHT! *Hijo doesn't even leave time for you to react to that as he immediately starts talking again* Hijo: But the match was made and so I must face the interplanetary Yeti ****ers... luckily not for the FIW World Tag Team Championship of the World... first off how would that work if their not of this World... that should be a rule on the books... no beings from another World... IT JUST MAKES SENSE! *Hijo turns and opens a door into the stairway... the camera follows him in as he begins walking backwards up the steps so he can remain facing the camera* Hijo: But even if that rule isn't enforced... or somehow I'm wrong about the Phantom/Robot team still wouldn't be eligible for a tag team title match with the new lucha point system that I don't fully UNDERSTAND! *Hijo punches his left palm with his fist in hammerish motion... Hijo turns at the landing as 3 people walk down the stairs past Hijo staring at the odd scene of the masked man walking backwards up the steps and talking to himself... as well as well what he's saying... * Hijo: But I do know that any tag team win gives you a point and any tag team loss starts you back at 0... currently my opponents have 0 points... as they lost last week. But I'll be damned if they get the kind of momentum for pinning the better half of the tag team champions. *Hijo opens the door and holds it open for the camera man to pass through... Hijo walks back into a hallway after and begins walking towards the camera down the hallway again* Hijo: But not only that but I have a cunning plan... if you gather enough points you can challenge for the tag team titles... so quite frankly what I'm going to do is continue to carry Phoenix to tag victories until we have enough points to challenge for the tag team championship... and then demand our title shot... causing the FIW Matchmakers to be utterly confused as to what the hell to do... causing them to indefinitely suspend any and all defenses until they devise away to have the Hijo and El Phoenixo apestosos to fight ourselves for the title... perhaps using some kind of fighting game mirror match generator... but I don't want to give them any ideas... and that... *Hijo pulls a keycard out from his vest pocket and opens the hotel room, on the inside you can see Scotty and Turmoil sitting on a couch watching TV. You see a red light on the windowsill facing towards the door* |
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<div style="max-height:64px; width: 100%; overflow:auto;"> El Hijo Del Awesome, Greatest Wrestler in the World Your Favorite Four-Time Former FIW Fighting Spirit Champion (02-28-10 - 5-30-10) (04-05-09 - 7-26-09) (06-10-12 - 9-29-12 ) Two Time Former Tag Team Champion (01-11-09 - 04-19-09) (07-29-12 - 10-28-12) </div> Former Fighting Spirit, Tag Team, Undisputed International and Dual Crown Champion. Winner of the 2011 Lady Luck Tournament | |
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12:56 AM Jul 11