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A Letter Home; WASABIphoenix Production
Topic Started: Mar 14 2009, 07:27 AM (50 Views)
Clockman89
Member Avatar
Spiral Out, Keep Going
[ *  *  *  * ]
[align=center]A Letter Home, Pt.1[/align]
*The scene opens up on the TPCW tour bus. Turmoil is no where to be seen, probably still with El Hijo del Awesome Maxipads. The bus is much cleaner since Phoenix has been in the wind. There's no army men toys laying about, there's no feces flung up against the wall. In fact, it smells kinda nice too. Not like...musty ass. Despite all this, however, there's a less jovial feel in the air, and in fact there is a lingering feel of boredom. Wasabi sits in the booth, literally twiddling his thumbs. Phil sits on the couch, oozing. Corybantic sits on the back of Piggy the Pig, and is walked around, but neither seem to enjoy it. Papyi licks himself. How crude.*

Phil: So. Bored.

WDXXIV: I think it's peaceful.

Phil: ... What I wouldn't give for Phoenix to get stuck in the toilet again.

WDXXIV: You'd give up a ham sandwich?

Phil: Whoa, whoa! Let's not go CRAZY here.

*Silence hits hard again, as Corybantic seemingly paces back and forth on the back of the pig, when suddenly there's a rapping at the window behind Phil. Phil turns as best he can and unlatches it, letting in an owl.*

*No, you're reading that correctly.*

*An owl.*

*The owl flies onto the table, with a letter tied to its leg. Wasabi raises an eyebrow beneath his mask before reaching forward, and untying the letter from its leg. Wasabi stands up and opens it. Although he doesn't show concern for the fact an owl just delivered an owl, he's quite concerned. It's a fucking owl.*

Phil: So uh...what?

WDXXIV: It appears Phoenix has sent a letter.

Phil: I didn't know Phoenix knew how to write.

Corybantic: Orrhao taraheed!

Phil: Yeah, or read.

*Corybantic and Phil stand up, although Phil's so fat it's hardly a difference. He looks like he's just a big pile of goo. Or poo. Philly poo. Consisting of a falafel? Or a Fill-a-Phil?!*

Phil: How did he even know how to find us?

WDXXIV: Really? That's what you're asking. Not...how the hell he found an owl that could find us... But how did he know...how to find us...

Phil: It's a decent question.

WDXXIV: Most would go for the most odd first...but alas.

Phil: Alright smart ass, what does it say?

[align=center]The Letter, Pt.1[/align]
Dear fatass, boring-dude, and Corybantic,
- Been a while since I talked to you guys. Sorry about my disappearences, I just don't much feel like company. Need a lot of time to myself. Trying that thinking thing you guys keep telling me about.
- It hurts.
- I'm mostly just traveling, taking in various sites on someone else's dime. Toby's specifically. Nicked his credit card last time I was there.


WDXXIV: He mispelt 'sight.'

Phil: But he DID get 'site' right. Even if he got the wrong spelling, it's impressive for him...

- I had my fill of Scotland. Couldn't go anywhere and do my recitation of the movie Bravehart. It's like they never hear anything else from stupid forieners. So I decided to go a broad this last week, and visited Spain. Saw some old posters of Phil before he became the Stay Puffed Fatass Guy. It was the wrong time for the running of the bulls, but I fixed that...

[align=center]A Letter Home, Pt.2[/align]
*Wasabi looks around in the envelope, and pulls out a few pictures. Wasabi looks confused for a moment before looking back at the letter.*

WDXXIV: Huh...

- I also stole Toby's camera.

WDXXIV: Ah.

*Wasabi looks at the first picture, as Cory and Phil crowd behind him to look. The picture is of an old brick wall with a weather-torn, and aged picture of a lean, muscular, and even good looking Phil. He's standing on a drawn bull that's laying over, all docile. He has a mustache, and the red cape the Matadors fling around. The poster invites people, in Spanish, to come see "The Amazing American Matador." Wasabi goes back to the letter.*

[align=center]The Letter, Pt.2[/align]
*We go to Spain for this segment. Kind of a flash back, if it were filmed it'd be in a sepia tone. We see Phoenix standing in the street, looking around. There's a painter on a scaffolding thing by a building, and there's a trailer full of bulls parked somewhere, as it's owner discusses business with them.*

- I really wanted to do the running of the bulls, but apparently its not a constant thing. Totally changed my opinion of Spain. I used to think it was cool. But anyway...

*Phoenix walks around, whistling before he walks up to the painter scaffolding. He looks up, examaining it for a moment before looking at the ground. He looks at a rock under a leg of the scaffolding, and unwedges it from between the leg and the ground. Phoenix examins it as the scaffolding begins to wobble. Phoenix keeps examining it as suddenly the painter falls behind him, landing quite hard on the back of the trailer, opening the ramp, and flopping to the ground, where it proceeds to land on him. Meanwhile, the scaffolding collapses, and dumps red paint on Phoenix.*

- ...so then I'm standing there, soaking in what I can only assume is an Phil-sized woman's pmsing...

*Universal shuddering on the part of Wasabi and Phil. Corybantic licks his lips, however. He's insane though.*

- ...and all of a sudden...

*The bulls step out of the trailer, all stepping right on the part of the ramp atop the man. The bulls turn towards Phoenix and their eyes grow wide. It's really only for comedic sake that Phoenix got red paint on him. Because bulls are actually attracted to movement. Which Phoenix does, as he promptly begins to run away. The bulls chase after, going through diners, heavily populated areas, another set of nuns on a bus (making it the fourth set he's crippled), and just in general around Spain.*

- ...I finally managed to get rid of them in the middle of a kiddy carnival. Boy those kids never saw them bulls coming...

Phil: He did that?! I heard about it, I just thought it was poor planning on the petting zoo's part...

- No one knows it was me though, so no worries on the IWC's part. I did manage to do a bit of wrestling though, some local place hired me for a couple of nights. I got a little hurt though. Odd thing was I was just doing commentary. The doc said something about 'distended anus.' Whatever that is...

[align=center]A Letter Home, Pt.3[/align]
*Wasabi pulls out the next picture and the three look at it before the usual "OH!" reaction, and turning away. Wasabi tosses the picture away and looks back at the letter.*

- Doctor said it'll only last a couple of days, I'll be ready for FIW. Speaking of which, I hear I'm facing Graver this week. That's cool, I just wish it was a hardkore match so I could go all Phoenix-Fu on his ass!

WDXXIV: It's a C, Phoenix. HardCore. Ugh.

- I don't have much to say, just do some promotional crap for me. Don't forget to feed piggy, and Corybant. Oh! And my pig, too, not just Phil. Don't try to talk to me when I'm there, I've just got to be by myself for a while.
- - Suck My Nuttely Yours,
- - Fenicks


WDXXIV: Oh for craps sake, he mispelt his own name.

*Wasabi folds up the letter and tosses it on the table.*

Phil: Well at least he's alive.

WDXXIV: Can't say the same for...Spain.

Phil: Bless Spain, we hardly knew ye.

WDXXIV: You lived there for a better part of your adulthood.

Phil: ...The fat is pressing on the memory sector of my brain.

WDXXIV: That's not even possible.

*Silence for a minute before Phil charges forward, shoves Wasabi out of the way and waddles his fat ass out of the bus. Phil begins trying to do a mad dash away so he doesn't have to continue his excuses. He makes it about ten feet before clutching his chest and collapsing to the ground.*

WDXXIV: ...Why does he try to run? He should know better than that.

*Wasabi turns to the owl who eyes him expectedly.*

WDXXIV: What?

*The owl waits for its payment... And finally flies up towards his mask and begins ripping at it, and pecking him.*

WDXXIV: OW! AH! GODDAMN HIM!

*Wasabi takes off running out of the bus as the odd scene comes to a close.*

[align=center]This has been a WASABIphoenix Production[/align]
[align=center]The Great 2019 Campaign: Krychek for Hall of Fame
Posted Image

FIW Grand Prix Champion
(12 26 10 - 12 04 11 - Krychek)
(12 29 14 - Present - Krychek)

FIW Undisputed International Champion
(05 31 09 - 07 26 09 - Phoenix)
(12 05 10 - 03 27 11 - Krychek)
(03 27 11 - 05 29 11 - Krychek)

FIW World Tag Team Champion
(01 11 09 - 04 19 09 - Phoenix)
(11 07 10 - 01 30 11 - Krychek)
(02 26 12 - 03 25 12 - Krychek)
(10 06 13 - 10 13 14 - Krychek)

FIW Fighting Spirit Champion
(09 29 12 - 09 01 13 - Krychek)

FIW Cruiserweight Champion
(12 06 09 - 06 20 10 - Krychek)
<div style="max-height:64px; width: 100%; overflow:auto;">
FIW Co-Rookie of the Year, 2009
Match of the Month, March 2010
Storyline of the Month, March 2010
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Tag Team of the Month, April 2014
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Tag Team of the Month, June 2014
Match of the Month, July 2014
Storyline of the Month, July 2014
(Rurik Krychek)
Promotion Of The Month, July 2011
(Razorback)
Storyline of the Year, 2011
(William Reign)
Writer of the Year, 2010
Writer of the Year, 2011</div>[/align]
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