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Fruitful; ~Anna~
Topic Started: Jul 18 2010, 05:08 AM (32 Views)
Drake
Drake Love
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Anna: Just a small town girl…living in a lonely world! She took the midnight train going anywhere!

Well Anna is singing so that is probably a bad thing. Her voice is horrid, her pitch is off, and she is clearly tone deaf. It seems though that she at least bothered to get the lyrics right this time around so that surely has to be a positive thing. Doubtful that Journey would approve of this rendition but none the less what else can be expected of Anna?

Her microphone that she is belting her notes into isn’t actually a microphone at all but a hair brush. Of all Anna’s eccentricities, this one is surely not the most absurd to come flashing across a FIW website. Or whatever other media this promotional video is being viewed on by the bored fan.

As per usual, Anna’s outfit seems to have been comprised from a nearby dumpster. She has on a stone washed jean skirt from 1980-something, perhaps it would be fitting with the motif of her karaoke disaster if only the jean skirt was stained with what appears to be mustard. It appears that our venture to Anna’s singing career is put on hold when she notices something off camera. Her eyes lower as she tries to make something out and she doesn’t really seem pleased at what she is staring at.


Anna: You again. I remember you. You are the little elf spy from last week. Your evil magic cost me a match. I am not afraid of you or Rick Nuller!

Stepping into the camera view is not an elf per say but rather Toby Bobstock. Though one has to admit his resemblance to a mystical storybook creature is not much of a stretch.

Toby: I told you before that I am not an elf or an envoy for any fairy queen or any…

Anna: HOW DO YOU KNOW OF THE FAIRY QUEEN!

Anna’s eyes go wide and anger dances wildly in them. She extends her arm outwards to point at Toby.

Toby: You mentioned it last week when you thought that I was…

Anna: Did you know that Emily Stratfield has returned?

Toby blinks at the sudden topic change and the mood swing. Anna has gone from aggressively angry to reasonably calm and almost contemplative.

Toby: Well yes actually. She appears to have stepped in following the tragic death of Catherine Neville. She will actually be your opponent at Summer of Sin alongside Blink.

Anna: I thought that winning the Cruiserweight Title, etching my name as the last said champion of that division would ease the scars of not being the last Hellcat Champion. I find that I received no vindication from wining the Cruiserweight Title. I wonder when I crack open Emily’s skull to remove the toy surprise, if that will then allow me to put this issue behind me.

Toby: That seems excessively violent don’t you think?

Anna: Don’t be absurd. Is I bust open Emily’s grape and watch her juice stain the mat, that will only be a small taste of what she deserves. That woman wronged me by denying me my rightful destiny. She stole away something that she had no claim or entitlement to. She raped the good name of Hellcat with her defilement of what was to be my crowning achievement. Nothing in the present or future can ever remove such a tarnish of the past. So if you are asking me whether or not I plan to beat Emily half to death or perhaps beyond, the answer is a resounding yes. That bitch deserves so much worse but I can only work with what I have available.

Toby: Well this isn’t just between you and Emily. It is a tag team match, you will be teamed with Lara Toni and as I said, Emily will have Blink as her partner.

Anna: Blink has so much potential to be something Emily could never be, a worthy adversary. I see in Blink a bright future and some enjoyable matches. Yet like everything Emily touches, Blink has allowed herself to be infected with the pure utter filth that is Emily Stratfield.

Toby: Are you saying that you like Blink and hate Emily?

Anna: I am saying that I don’t want any of your ketchup chips.

Toby: What the hell are ketchup…nevermind. What about your thoughts on having Lara Toni as a partner? You two have worked together in the past when the situation arose but history also marks you having some unflattering things to say about her.

Anna: I heard that FIW is all excited about having three former Hellcat Champions all in one ring. I say two because I refuse to acknowledge that abomination of a “reign” that Emily had.

Yes, Anna actually does the fingers moving to demonstrate air quotes when she says the word “reign”.

Anna: That being said I suppose Lara can hold her own when the coconuts are whipping in the water. I don’t really like her to be honest, she sort of smells like purple but there could be worse people to be teamed with. My focus though lies with that uber-skank Emily though. All other concerns or matters mean little to me when it comes to that whore. Like turtles in a fireplace, Emily is going to pay for what she did to me.

Toby: It’s been almost a year since all that went down. Isn’t it time to let it go?

Anna: Blueberries.

Whatever that means, Anna nods with expressed meaning as she stares at a confused Toby. Anna turns away swiftly and begins to sing once more. This time the notes from Jermaine Stewart’s “We Don’t Have to Take Our Clothes Off” appears to be the song of choice. Luckily the singing is fading as Anna is walking away. It gets even better when the song cuts off completely with a fade to black finish.
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