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| The Hulk Vs Brainiac; A Neo Carner Promotion | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 23 2010, 02:22 AM (30 Views) | |
| That Darn Seph | Jul 23 2010, 02:22 AM Post #1 |
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The High Elevation Sensation!
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[align=center]THIS JUST IN! Krychek has reportedly injured himself falling off a ladder, in an attempt to reach puberty. This announcement brought to you by the Friends and Supporters of Neo Carner. [/align] We now return you to your regularly scheduled promo. The scene opens up to Neo Carner, his forehead is firmly planted into his palm. He shakes his head from left to right as he seems to try to put his thoughts together, he lifts his head to speak but quickly plants his head back into his hand. He clears his throat, and then lifts his head straight up. The camera pans backwards, revealing Neo Carner standing in an empty room. The walls are adorned with FIW posters, the last couple of PPVs are advertised, ranging from Nensai Senjou to Anarchy In the UK! The walls are eggshell white, and aside Neo the room is barren. Neo is wearing the latest merchandise brandishing his name, his jeans are dark grey and have an ash washed design. Neo: "Alright...How do I begin? Do I start at the fact Krychek reads too much into things? No...Do I start with Krychek's inability to put his heart into things and that's why he wasn't able to retain the Cruiserweight Championship? No...Hm. Where do I start then?" Neo snaps his fingers. Neo: "Oh! I know where! The part where I was watching Krychek's promo! Yes, let's start with that. Weird story. So get this! I was sitting there, poised and ready to watch the latest attempt of entertainment from our ol' Russian buddy Krychek...and I shit you not. I must have nodded off or passed out during the promo. Krychek latched on the BORE Submission maneuver and I was knocked out. That's not the weird part, the WEIRD part is I woke up in 'The Sorcerer's Apprentice.' WEIRD right!? Krychek's promo basically put me into a bore induced coma. My subconscious must have dragged me to something more bearable. And guess what? A modern day Nicholas Cage film is far more bearable then having to listen to Krychek. I'm not talking about Con Air Nicholas Cage, I'm talking about Ghost Rider Nic Cage people. It's a fucking wonder how this guy is still making movies...Wait a minute..." Neo lifts his hands, and starts counting things off on his fingers. Neo: "It all makes sense now! Krychek knocked me out with his logical ramble babble and I woke up in a Nicholas Cage movie....Dear God! The GOVERNMENT is using Krychek to keep Nicholas Cage employed! I mean...look at all the competitors he once fought for the Cruiserweight Championship. Almost ALL of them aren't around anymore...did Krychek beat them into a bloody pulp that bad? No...No I think not! I think his words destroyed their minds! Turning them into mindless Nicholas Cage movie watching ZOMBIES!" Neo folds his arms across his chest. Neo: "Yep. Makes sense. But, I decided to fight the system. I bought two bottles of five hour energy, drank them down and watched Krychek's promo...and luckily I survived without another rousing trip to the theatres." Neo nods. Neo: "So let us begin to dissect Krychek's Promo!" Neo scratches his scalp. Neo: "Alright...Maybe Krychek's a little more sensitive than I give him credit for. But seriously, I say he comes up...too short? And his first thought is..." Neo's eyes dart from side to side. Neo: "A penis joke?" Neo stares blankly straight ahead. Neo: "I don't know if you've stood next to another male before Krychek...but you're kind of short. You're like four foot eleven or something. The 'came up short' joke was a reference to your height. Not your...*shudders* junk. Now, I'm sure when people say short the first thing you think of is your...*shudder* junk. But uh...Yeah, I'm not interested in talking about your *shudders* junk. Sure, I've made sophomoric jokes at your expense, but seriously...I'm not interested in talking about you in a sexual manner...*shudders* not in the least bit. I'm sure this probably upsets you, and you're practically BEGGING me to make a sexual joke at your expense." Neo shudders, yep...lots of shuddering people. Nobody wants Krychek, NOBODY! Neo: "But no. I won't. Sorry Krycheky, I won't be doing that. You can go about compensating all by yourself to satisfy your libido or whatever it is you're trying to get out of me. I ain't nibbling, I ain't interested. I ain't. You hear me? I ain't. Oh yeah, ain't isn't a word is it? Is my grammar bothering thou? I didn't realize that we were getting that intense Krychek." Neo slaps his hands together, wringing them menacingly. Neo: "I mean, burying each other ALIVE! Betrayal after Betrayal! Then! The coup de grace....GRAMMAR CORRECTION!" Neo claps his hands on either side of his cheeks. Neo: "AHHH!!!!!!" Neo stops his 'Home Alone' styling and shakes his head. Neo: "I didn't realize we were in such a petty rivalry Krychek. I mean, instead of wasting everyone's time he could have hyped up the Pay Per View event...but he wanted to educate people on my use of grammar...Man, I don't know about YOU guy's but I am sure HYPED up to fight this guy! Nah...Now I really just want to punt his head off his shoulders with a Phantom Limb Kick. But eh, you have TOTAL control of your emotions from spending so much time alone with monks or something...So you're a machine. So, what's the point of trying to explain what a heated rivalry feels like. You don't know the warm sensation hatred does to a man. It courses through my veins, it fuels me. My emotions fuel me to destroy that machine like demeanor of yours." Neo chuckles. Neo: "Did anybody else laugh when he thought bringing up the Tag Team Championships was a logical defense point? Snake already admitted to laying down and basically GIVING the titles back. He admitted it, before I knocked his ass out. So...that was a pointless thing to bring up. Seeing as it wasn't my fault I was basically fighting a battle alone...it was the Brotherhood of Dickheads' fault. But hey, whatever makes you feel taller at night Krychek." Neo scratches his chin, suddenly a door swings open and slams against the wall. Neo jerks to his right, and takes a step back. Neo: "You!" The unknown entity(ies) step forward into frame, revealing themselves to be T-Bird and Toby Bostock. Neo scratches the back of his head. Toby has his arms folded across his chest with a very unpleasant glower in his eyes. T-Bird looks just as unhappy. Neo: "This is about the La Lesbiana and male comment, isn't it?" They both nod in unison. Neo sighs, clearing his throat. Neo: "I'm sorry I called La Lesbiana a nobody, she isn't a nobody. She's just somebody who isn't here now. I apologize Toby if I insulted your friend." Toby nods, Neo turns his head to T-Bird. Neo: "Yeah, sorry I called you a dude. I've never wrestled you, nor have I had any prior involvement with you. The world of wrestling is a male dominated sport, so I simply assumed you were a dude giving reference to the first Crow movie. Y'know? T-Bird, fire it up? Yeah, I like that movie too. Anyway, I'm sorry. I was simply reading the records, and didn't look into things and simply assumed. I made an ass out of myself, again. Sorry." The two nod their heads and make a prompt exit. Neo turns back to the camera and nods. Neo: "Alright, where was I? Oh yeah...Krychek, promo. Uh....Let's see, retention retention....Yeah, he babbles on and on about nerds and how they're taking over the world Bill Gates style. Uh, he berates his own Satellite Snake 1.0. And...He says something about using doing yoga...uhm...Hm. He goes on to compare our championship reigns...Uh...Man, do any of you remember? No? Yeah, I didn't think so." Neo places his left hand firmly on his hip, puffing out his chest. Neo: "But what I think it boils down to folks is...This is a match of Brain Versus Heart. Neo Carner being the symbol of fire, passion, emotion and fury. Krychek being the brain, a symbol of cold calculated logic. In all honesty, it's going to be a battle. It's going to be WAR. I am the The Hulk and Krychek? He's Brainiac. An engine of emotional destruction, and Krychek a mind with no equal. I know in my soul I can't win the same way twice..." Neo pounds his fist into his hand. Neo: "Which is why I won't be winning the same way this time. No, no! I'm going to give Krychek everything I've got. This loss has haunted him for months, and he merely assumes it was a fluke. A miscalculation based simply on underestimating me. Well...This time around, I'm looking to show him it isn't that. No...I'm going to prove to Krychek that it was meant to be. I was MEANT to defeat him. Because in this world, you can't get anywhere without heart! I am all the furious passion he lacks, and he is all the excess logic I deem unworthy in my world. Life is about taking risks...Life is about putting your heart into everything you do." Neo growls, pounding his fist harder into his palm. Neo: "And I won't be bested by this asshole. I've come TOO far to prove I belong here. THIS is the major leagues, and I'm showing the world this is where I need to be. Not want to be, I NEED to be here. The gold to me symbolizes all of my hard work. It shows that every trial I've endured was leading to this moment. Going to the distance with Keith Williams, Drake Love...it was all WORTH something to me. This is my chance to shine. Krychek doesn't need this, and if he did...he would be guaranteeing his own loss." Neo smirks. Neo: "Because Krychek said he needed the Cruiserweight Championship. He proved to the world he didn't need the victory. He doesn't have the heart to need this business like I do. And why should he? He wants nothing more than to obliterate this business...he doesn't need anything but a swift kick in the ass." Neo's eyes fill with the fires of furious passion, his burning eyes staring straight ahead. Neo: "I am The Hulk. I run on my emotions...and my emotions tell me to destroy Krychek this Sunday. No buried alive match...No blood...No. A simple contest on top of the Undisputed International division. Man to Man....A test of honor and dignity. My vision is set on walking out this Sunday...The NEW...Undisputed...International....Champion." Neo's head slowly falls forward, his hair shrouding his face in a veil of hair. Neo: "You can believe that." |
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