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Tell Me Why; Sunshine
Topic Started: Oct 27 2011, 03:59 AM (94 Views)
Minister Wighty
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Opossum Queen of FIW
Admin
Sunshine: Why the fuck should I even care?

Those are our opening words for this promo. The sayer? Takeshi Sunshine, of course. The listener? Toby Bostock. Does he still work here? Hold on, lemme check.

...

Cool, he does. Hey! I even made the post! Righteous! Toby stammers over nothing, blinking rapidly.

TB: Uh... umm...

Sunshine: The question wasn't hard. It was even in English; why the fuck should I care?

TB: I... I didn't ask you anything.

Sunshine: No, but you shoved that microphone in my face to do so, unless you just want me to smell your mother's taint on it.

Takeshi gives it a good, long sniff.

Sunshine: Nope. Just smells like electronics.

Toby still looks absolutely dumbfounded and just fish-mouths in confusion. Sunshine shakes his head and rolls his eyes.

Sunshine: Look, I'll do you a favor. You ask me one question... one fucking question... and I'll answer it. But then you gotta answer mine.

TB: Uh... oh. Okay. Um... well... do you think you and your partner Mr. Blonde can pull it together and find victory Sunday against the Time Bandits?

Takeshi opens his mouth to respond, but then shuts it, shaking his head.

Sunshine: Y'know what? Honestly? No. No I don't. We suck. We're good as individuals, we're good as a team, but I have no fucking clue why we can't find success here. I guess we're just too old and too full of fucking fart dust.

Toby tries not to laugh at 'fart dust'.

Sunshine: So now you answer my question; when I'm put across the ring in the same situation against another pair of retards like the fucking "Time Bandits" when I can't win a match against a pair of women... tell me why I should give a fuck. I've had my time. I've had my money. I've proven myself. Now I'm just circling the fucking drain.

Sunshine doesn't even do the full pie-face; he just mimes it and wanders off, leaving Toby to himself.
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Dai
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Captain SPARKLE~!!!
Creative Team
[align=center]Ka-SLAP!!![/align]
Takeshi wanders off, right into a slap. The author would not like to comment on how he reacted to the slap, but after it he finds himself face-to-face with either the second or the third Mr. Blond; depending on who you listen to. Whatever. Katsuya has listened to Takeshi's promo and his is not impressed.

"Fart dust, my ass!"

Oh shit, he's even got his pompadour piled real high. This man has a glare on him. Right into Takeshi's eyes.

"[Circling the drain, my ass!]"

Blondie is even snarling at the thought.

"[If we gotta be losing to them waanabe old-school wankers then I wanna be punching them full-on in the fucking face.]"

I don't even know what that means.

"[And if I have to listen to someone talk about how I had my time, well...]"

A deep breath in right through the nostrils, a true snarl.

"[I wanna be...]"

He holds this one in. I swear, hide has used this line, but it's a good one, so here it is in That Other Place.

"[FUCKING DEAD!!!]"
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Minister Wighty
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The slap? It didn't go over well. Takeshi feels the sting left on his cheek with both fingers, watching Blondie as he makes his very short Sean Bean about the matter of their match on Sunday. Sunshine spits a small wad of blood and saliva since Blonde hits hard.

Sunshine: Takes two to tango, and if yer goin' down, you better go down swingin', yeah?

He turns away, rubbing his chin, then swings back around suddenly and NAILS Blondie in the forehead with his own hard, angry skull. The second (or third) Mr. Blonde goes down hard, not expecting the cranial assault. He's down but not out.

Sunshine: [Well... there ain't a man left standin'. So let's go get a beer.]

Sunshine extends a hand to help the man he just headbutted back to his feet. Blondie smacks his hand away, perfectly capable of getting up himself, but the two do depart in the same direction, perhaps for that pint.
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