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The Party
Topic Started: Oct 28 2011, 03:56 AM (93 Views)
Beaten by Nuns
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Shut Uppa Yo Face!!!
[ *  * ]
[align=center]The Party, Part 1[/align]

We fade in to El Tremendo #2's Naples Hotel Room. Through the kitchen and adjoining space between the kitchen and living room, there are party favors and items stacked, dumped, dropped, and scattered EVERYWHERE. Noise makers, balloons, bags of confetti, paper hats, banners, ribbons, and other items have put the place into a massive state of disarray. In the middle of all the confusion stands El Tremendo #2 chatting away on his cell phone,

El Tremendo #2: I thinks we did it, Tico I thinks we're ready! We've gots everything, and we're all sets for the pre-match Halloweens party! All we needs to do now is haves the FIW trucks come and picks it up and takes it all to the Stadio San Poalo! Do you thinks we have everything? Have you checked the list?

The camera cuts in close as El T adjusts his Mighty Max t-shirt,

El Tremendo #2: Syrup? Rubber tube? Egg whites? A Shake Weight?!? What the hell are you talking about?

El T raises an eyebrow,

El Tremendo #2: What do you MEAN it's on the list?

A look of comeplete disbelief comes over him,

El Tremendo #2: Hang on a minute! - Jesus, stupid munchkin prick...

El T rumages around in a drawer behind him and pulls out a wad of dirty napkins, he wades through the soiled napkins until he comes across one with words scribbled across it,

El Tremendo #2: Let's see now... Ah, heres we go... ground coffee? Candle wax? New Coke? A HOCKEY STICK?!?

El T removes the cell phone from his ear and stares at the screen, disgusted, he shouts angrily,

El Tremendo #2: TICO! That's the wrong list!

El Tremendo face palms and leans against the counter,

El Tremendo #2: Si, that's the wrong one! That's the list for the POST-party celebrations with Anna Bowie!

Cut to the phone, and back to Tremendo,

El Tremendo #2: Yes, I'm seeing her again... Apparently, she couldn't get enough of the ol' "Tender Tremender" the last time she was over, so I'm going to sees her again.

Cut to the phone, and back to Tremendo,

El Tremendo #2: She's awesome. I'm hoping for the ultimate guy's dream: me, her, and Michaela Menendez.

Cut to the phone, and back to Tremendo,

El Tremendo #2: Yup. Menendez. It would be the best 27 seconds of boths their lives. I guaran-dum-tee it! Ok, but backs at it, Tico. Can you grabs the REAL list, and make sure we've got everything on it?

Cut to the phone, and back to Tremendo,

El Tremendo #2: Oh, you've already checked it? Awesome. We're goldens.

Cut to the phone, and back to Tremendo,

El Tremendo #2: No, we're not going to spoils the party for Señor Drake by talkings about it now. He doesn't have enough times for the television. Ahh, Tico.. it was so greats to see him talk again, even if for just a couple seconds, cause we all know that riding a bikes and lookings cool and dramatic to the cameras and pedestrians like you just stepped out of a lame ass scene from Wild Hogs 2 is MUCH more importants than getting ready for yourn match.

Cut to the phone, and back to Tremendo,

El Tremendo #2: What about the party? That is most certainly NOT the pot calling the kettles black! The party is ESSENTIAL for my pre-match warms up. It's going to be great. Oh yeah... can you add one more thing to the party list? I've got a craving for chocolate pudding. Make sure that's in there, ok, bud? Thanks! Now hurry up and get over here, I has to put on my good suit so we can go to the party!

The scene comes to an abrupt end... this isn't over...
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[ *  * ]
[align=center]The Party, Part 2[/align]

We fade in to a scene of a hotel room somewhere in Naples Italy. Certainly not a penthouse suite, cause we're not all fucking the recipient of a ginormous inheritance and owner of an enormous television network.

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Hey, be careful what you say dipshit. You're paid to narrate this stuff, not write giant op-ed pieces!

Sorry... I just have a problem with people who flaunt everything just because they think they're better than we are or have more money.

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) I feel ya, brother. Really, I do. But let's just stick to the script, ok? We got Jason running scared, you should have seen the PM he sent us.

Actually I did dude, because well, you and me, we're the same fucking person!

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Oh yeah, that's right - I'm a figment of your imagination, right, right... Anywho, athough, you may have a point there with the ginormous, enormous... whatever... perhaps with all this stuff, Drake is really compensating for... "other things", you know?

It's certainly possible... although, do you think Billy would continue letting him park his car in his garage if he... wasn't using the most of the... "available space?"

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Another excellent point. Perhaps there's a... "back lot"... somewhere that he uses.

Oh, please... let's not go there.

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Ok... so I guess you won't be joining me for tonight's viewing of "In Through The Out Door #19?"

I... um... uh... have to visit my sick mother.

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Really?

In Boston.

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Wow... you must really love your mother.

She's an amazing woman.

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) I bet. Ok, enough of this mucking around shit.... can we try this again?

Sure, why not. *ahem* Fade in to a hotel room somewhere in Naples, Italy. Former UMWA general manager El Tremendo #2 is standing in front of a full length mirror, dressed to the nines, and he makes some final adjustments. El T's faithful companion Tico the Tiny Terror stands by watching.

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Now THAT'S quality work!

Thank you.

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) You're welcome.

Dude, shut the fuck up and get in character or this role play is going to take all god damn night!

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Fine, fine, this whole talking to ourself thing has about run its course anyhow...

El Tremendo straightens his tie,

El Tremendo #2: (Trademark Broken English) So, whaddya think, Tico? Pretty snazzy, huh?

The camera cuts to Tico, and then back to El T,

Tico: You look like a fucking geek!

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) HEY! Why'd you make him say that?

Dude! Role Play! Now!

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) FINE!

El Tremendo annoying clears his throat for some reason, as if to further the scene along some how...

El Tremendo #2: (Trademark Broken English) Tico, I hams just checking to see how things would look if I ever tried to take Anna Bowie out on the dates.

Tico: A DATE?! YOU?!

El Tremendo #2: Si, a date. Why do you thinks that's so far-fetched? She even said herself that she likes me.

Tico: That cunt says that to everyone! She's playing you for a fucking fool! She's probably fucking William Reign for all we know, how else would a stupid broad like that keep her job!?

El Tremendo #2: HEY! Don't yous talk that way about my beautifuls Anna! And even if she IS with someones else, come on... what does they have that I ain't got?

Tico: I don't know? Money? Muscles? Talent?

El Tremendo #2: Yeah, you're right. He DOES have a lot of money. But *I* have the only muscle that matters! And some really nice clothes. BUT... does William Reign, or anyone else for that matters have his own collection of vintage Transformers toys? Or a copy of the very first Superman comic? I don't think so! And besides... give me some cream cheese, a rope, a little baby powder, some mustard, a coat hanger, honey, and a bottle opener, and I can do things to Anna that Señor Reign would never DREAM of!

Tico: Who the FUCK you trying to convince boss? You're lucky that bitch lets you talk to her! So the FUCK what if you have nice clothes? You're living proof that if you take a raggity ass car and put a lot of money into it you'll have a nice lookin' raggity ass car!

El Tremendo #2: FUCK YOU TICO!

Tico: No, FUCK YOU! I'm out!

Tico kicks El Tremendo in the shin and storms out of the room. El T angerly rubs his shin as the camera refocuses on his face,

El Tremendo #2: ... I suppose he mights be right though... Anna probably wouldn'ts care about such things. Although not carings about reaching heights of sexuality you've nevers even thought of is a little off-puttings. Oh well. I guess she's more concerned about her hairs and her fingernails than an earth shatterings orgasm. Or a wrestling match, for that matter... Like tonights match... this is Hallowe'Volt fellas. This is bigs stage. This is where the bigs boys come out to shines, and I really don't wants to get left behind on this one. Beating up Neos Carnser and Drakes Love in the same night, the same match will be a massive steps in the right direction, and who knows... I might be ready to takes down the whole rosters in the rounds robin, and then Christian Cruz heemself when I hams through...

El Tremendo tilts his head and starts fantisizing,

El Tremendo #2: Don't worry, Anna... I'll go easy on you. I know how tiny yous are compared to me and those dual crown chamionships, and I wouldn't want to crush you with all that fames when I gets on top of you... I'll be gentle...

El T suddenly realizes what he said

El Tremendo #2: Oh, now I'm getting horny. Great. What was I talking about again? Oh yeah. Neo Carnser and Drakes LUV...

El Tremendo clears his throat, and places his fists on his side in a Superman-like pose,

El Tremendo #2: This is my night, folks. The GREAT... El Tremendo Luchadoré es Grande Spectacular-r-r-r-r-r-r... Supreme... Pause for Effect... Number Two - is roaring into the spots light, and Señor Carnser, honey, I'm sorry to haves to make this an oh-for-two night for you, and a rudes awakenings for the miles tall mads vato... Señor Drake... well, I'm sorry to haves to spoils for you your bigs push in FI's W... Because this runaway train is rollings on forward, and if you're on the tracks Señor, you're going to get crushed... So tonight my friend, when we are both staring at each others across the crumpled body of Neos Carnser, because let's face it, he ain't gonna be in our ways for long... don't be suprised when I bid you... GOODNIGHT From RIO!

El Tremendo smiles stupidly at the camera, and then looks around curiously,

El Tremendo #2: Now... where'd I put that waffle iron?

And the scene finally fades out, and comes to an end... Good! That was excellent!

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Thanks! You don't think the Rio thing was too cliché?

No, no man, of course not. The waffle iron thing is a bit much, but hey, that weird shit is your deal, I think it works for you.

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Great! What now?

Well, I'm going to go make a couple PB and J's and grab a pepsi and kick back for a few minutes, the Friars Club Roast of Charlie Sheen is on Netflix, I thought I might watch a few minutes of that, see if I can use some of their material or something.

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Oh man, I've already seen that! It's hysterical! Jon Lovitz nails Steve-O from Jackass! He comes out there and says "Earlier today I asked Steve-O how his day was going. He said, ‘I woke up, took a nice big shit, and then got out of bed!"

Hahahaha!! That's fucked!

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Then he said, How much cocaine can Charlie Sheen do? Enough to kill two and a half men!

BWhahahahahaaha!!! Dude, fuckin stop it, you'll ruin the whole thing for me. I'm gonna go watch that, and when I get back we'll write up another one, you game?

El Tremendo #2: (Real New Jersey Accent) Yeah I'm game, see you in a bit.

Later.
[align=center].
.
.[/align]
Suddenly Tico the Tiny Terror wanders back into the room,

Tico: Dude, who the FUCK are you talking to in here?

El Tremendo #2: (Trademark Broken English) Huh? What? What are yous talkings about?

Tico stands there giving El T a puzzled look,

Tico: ... Dude, get your head out of your ass, we've got a party to go to!

El Tremendo #2: Alright, Alright, let's go...

Tico follows El Tremendo out the door, mumbling to himself as he pulls the door closed behind them,

Tico: Fucking weirdo...
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[ *  * ]
[align=center]The Party, Part 3 - The Aftermath[/align]

We open up inside El Tremendo #2's Locker room at the Stadio San Poalo, the camera man can barely find a position to stand as the room is absolutely littered with party favors, paper plates and cups, streamers, gifts, foodstuffs, everyday household objects, and items... of a mature nature. Tico the Tiny Terror is passesd out and surrounded by beer bottles, pants around his ankles, covered in orange Cheetos poweder, he has a mouthful of cherry pie, and is clutching what looks like a stuffed plushie of Rouge the Bat from Sonic the Hedgehog.

The camera pans over to El Tremendo #2 himself, whose located in the last remaining couple square feet of the room, sitting in the floor, leaning up against the brick wall, his legs crossed in front of him, holding a clipboard, and checking items off of a list as he reads them aloud.

El Tremendo #2: ... banners (points) over there... giant 10 by 10 foot poster... hats... pipe cleaners... cases of soda... 5 gallon tub of olive oil... chairs... crowbar... tub of syrup... vegetable scrubber... ben-wa balls... chocolate sauce... beads... ball gags...

Cameraman:: Whoa man. That's a lot of stuff ya got there.

El Tremendo #2: Oh, thees? Thees is nothing. You should see the semi trucks I've got waiting out back by the loadings bay.

Cameraman:: You've got an entire SEMI TRUCK full of this stuff?

El Tremendo #2: Oh yeah. Absolutelys. I went ALL OUT for the afters party tonight, I wants to celebrate with the whole wides world!

Cameraman:: Yeah man but... you have to win it first don't you? Don't count your chickens before they've hatched ya know?

El Tremendo #2: Eighteen.

Cameraman:: Eighteen? Eighteen what?

El Tremendo #2: Chickens, you're standings in them.

The cameraman looks down at his feet, he is standing in a large puddle of egg yolks,

Cameraman:: Gross! What the - the FUCK went on in here?!

El Tremendo #2: Apparently you have never beens to a pre-match party before?

Cameraman:: Oh no I - I have, just not one this... nice... So uh... you excited about what's next?

El Tremendo #2: Boy, hams I! We're gettings pretty close joo know, that next partys is goings to be GREAT! I ordered for us a clowns and donkey shows combo, and we're even getting Jimmy Buffetts to play a few songs for us! And my contact Miguel is shippings in some of the goods stuff, grapes Kool-Aid laced with PCP, Ecstacy, methamphetamine, AND viagra! It'll be just like that show The Flavor of Love, I'll be one star surrounded by a bunch of bitches!!!

Cameraman:: No no, I meant the triple threat.

El Tremendo #2: The what?

Cameraman:: Your MATCH against Drake Love and Neo Carner, the triple threat match!

El Tremendo #2: ...

Cameraman:: The one you have to win first, before you can have the party?

El Tremendo #2: OH! YEAH! Sorry... I just drifted offs for a second. I've been working so long and hard on the party's... I just had a dream that Beyonce's vagina was chasing me.

Cameraman:: Beyonce's vag- ... Oh man. Anyway, are you ready for the match?

El Tremendo #2: Yeah. Everyone's shootings their mouths off about how they're the greatest, and they're goings to eliminates the others two, and so and so is going to do somethings horrific to someones else... I'm just goings to get in there and do what I do's best, and that's beat their asses silly and if the other wrestlers get luckys enough, I will bid one or both of thems Goodnight from Rio!

El Tremendo removes his reading glasses and looks up at the camera with his trademark smirk,

El Tremendo #2: There's a lot of talent in this match, Myselfs, Drakes Love... that other guy... what's his name?

Cameraman:: Neo Carner?

El Tremendo #2: No, not him, that other guy, the one who wears the striped zebra shirt.

Cameraman:: The referee? You think the referee's are talented?

El Tremendo #2: It takes big balls to gets in the same rings as the conservative luchador! The folks in thees match claim they're goings to win thees match. Point is, with me in there, you can't guarantees squat. I'm just gonna go out and makes for me an impression so that I get some big opportunities later. If I happens to go deep or wins this thing, then that's all just gravy.

Cameraman:: Well, then it sounds like you're prepared.

El Tremendo #2: Yeah. Now... I need to go and fuck something.

Cameraman:: WHAT?!?!

El Tremendo #2: I've been working so damned hards on this damn party thing, and trainings for the match... I haven't got laid in almost 2 days and I feel like my cajones are going to explode.

Cameraman:: Well, umm... I'll just leave you to that, then.

El Tremendo #2: Awesome.

And as we fade out, we hear...

El Tremendo #2: Where the HELL is my Fleshlight?

El Tremendo looks around the huge mess, and spots Tico laying there in slumber. He hesitates a moment, and then grabs the Rogue the Bat plushie,

El Tremendo #2: This will have to do...

Thank GOD this scene comes to an end before the next one starts...
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