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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 2 2011, 05:26 AM (72 Views) | |
| Beaten by Nuns | Nov 2 2011, 05:26 AM Post #1 |
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Shut Uppa Yo Face!!!
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[align=center]Naples, Italy. The Morning After Hallowe-Volt, 1:40 AM[/align] Inside El Tremendo #2's hotel room, he and Tico the Tiny Terror are seated on the floor, struggling to stay awake, watching "The Late Late Show with Craig Ferguson". The guests are done, and the performances are finished, and in the last couple minutes of the show, a musical jingle is heard... "What did we learn on the show tonight, Craig?" El Tremendo reaches out to grab the remote control, and he shuts the TV off. Tico: You know... this fucking shit is hard to understand in Italian... That's right, we're still in Naples. El Tremendo #2: What DID we learns on the show tonight though, Tico? What happeneds at Hallowe'Volt that was significants? Tico: I dunno. We found out that I can down a whole 1/2 keg by myself, even though I'm only 3 foot 9 and a 1/2 keg holds 15 and a half gallons of the shit. El Tremendo #2: Muy impressives Tico, but I'm being super cereal... Let's see... At tonights post-match partys we founds out that William Reigns like measurings his weenis in public. Roy doesn't like Holburn very much. Mads Dawg is a giant freaking nut ball. Mr. Snuggles has a huge headache. El Stoopid Valiant is still Stoopid and not Valiant. Holburn doesn't like Roy. Blond spit up on Max. Señorita Blink didn't miss her Opportunity. Anna Chestersfield hasn't beaten her addiction to steel chairs. Neos Carnser has a bit of a spanking complex. Aaaaaaaand, Blanco beat Cruz for the Fighting Spirtis Championships... El Tremendo burps rather loudly, and sips on a Dos Equis as he looks back over at Tico, who looks a little worse for wares, El Tremendo #2: ... All in all, we learneds quite a bit from Hallowe-Volt. Cut to Tico, who stares up at El T with the onset of a huge headache, Tico: What about Drake Love? El Tremendo #2: Oh yeah, I beat him silly... Or I would have cleanly, had Mads Dawg not come out in his cums stained bathrobe or whatever that was he had on... I honestly don'ts remember seeings him at the party... OH! And Señor Chip has some REAL deep down sexual problems... So what's shaping up this week, Ticomeister? The camera cuts to Tico, who is a strange green color, save for all the cheetos crumbs that he's covered in. He belches, and hands El Tremendo an envelope. Tico: ... That guy in the office... what's-his-fuck... sent this over a while ago. El Tremendo takes the envelope from Tico as he puts on his reeding glasses, he takes the envelope and tares into it with his teeth, and opens it up. El Tremendo #2: Ahh, Dwaynes West... Big man, tough, wants to win a bunch of titles, says he's mean, says he's perfect, and loves to hurt people... blah, blah... Tico: He sounds like a great big worn out floppy pussy! El Tremendo #2: Tico! You shouldn't talk about people like that! Wait... El Tremendo looks puzzled, El Tremendo #2: Wasn't Dwayne that vato who throws the taco in my face on my first ReVolts? Tico busts out laughing, Tico: BWAHAHAHAAH!!! YEAH! That shit was priceless! El Tremendo crumples up the envelope and jams in into Tico's mouth! El Tremendo #2: SHUT UPPA YO FACE!!! FUCK THAT GUY!!! Tico: (Muffled) YUSUMUMABICH! El Tremendo stands up, kicking trash out of his path while storming towards the door, El Tremendo #2: Gets the lead out Tico! We've got a planes to catch, and when we gets to Germany you're goings to get up off your oompa loompa maricón ass and helps me train! YOU GOT THAT?!?!! Tico shakes his head quickly, showing that he understands, El Tremendo #2: Now I hams going to heads on over to the Starbutts gentlemen's club for a nightcap, and when I gets back we BETTER be packed and ready to go! Now gets busy PUTA BEETCH! El Tremendo SLAMS the door behind him, causing Tico to jump... a few seconds pass and Tico spits the envelope out of his mouth.... Tico: ... You're a puta bitch... End |
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| Beaten by Nuns | Nov 2 2011, 05:27 AM Post #2 |
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Shut Uppa Yo Face!!!
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[align=center]Munich, Germany. The next Afternoon, 2:30 PM[/align] Inside El Tremendo #2's Munich, Germany hotel room, the FIW superstar is seated on his sofa in front of the television in his living room. Old reruns of "Welcome Back, Kotter" are playing as El Tremendo #2 slumps into the sofa, a giant bag of Nacho Cheese Doritos in his lap, and a big bottle of Coke next to him on the end table... This must have been the training El T had in mind in the previous "episode"... El Tremendo #2 just silently chomps away absent-mindedly for a while, then grabs the bottle of Coke and takes a giant swig right out of the bottle, before putting it down and shoving his hand right back into the bag of chips. The whole time, Tico the Tiny Terror sits loyally in the floor, leaning against the couch by El T's left leg. The phone rings, but El T doesn't answer. Cut to Tico who gives El T a dirty look, El Tremendo #2: No, I'm NOT answerings the phones. El T allows the call to go to voicemail, which is on speaker, an older woman with a THICK New Jersey accent speaks, Voice: Hi dear, it's your mother. I told you that West fellow was nothing but trouble and you shouldn't have gotten involved with people like that. All those Hollywood wrestler folks, everything just goes to their head and they think they're the greatest thing in the world. Well you know as well as I do that they're just people like you and I, and they're no better than any of us. That West fellow has some nerve- BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEP!! El T just sighs and continues watching TV. Just a few moments pass, before the phone rings again. Cut to Tico, and then back to El T. Tico: You gonna answer that boss? El Tremendo #2: Nope. The machine picks up again. Voice: Hi dear, it's me again. The machine cut me off. Anyway, that West fellow has some nerve to do to you what he did. And after you offered him that nice taco too! That man is going to get what's coming to him, let me tell you! If it were me dear, I would hold him down and tan his hide! I tell you, if I was his mother, I'd kick him right in his behind from here to Timbuck-BEEEEEEEEEEEEP!! El T shakes his head and continues watching TV. Just a few moments pass, before the phone rings again. Cut to Tico, and then back to El T. Tico: What about that one? El Tremendo #2: Voicemail. Voice: Hey baby, it's Kristi. Megan's back in town, and we thought it'd be great for all of us to go out to lunch. Quick Cut to Tico, and then back to El T. El Tremendo #2: Not that one either, Megan has crabs. Tico: Kristi's hot though! El Tremendo #2: No! Kristi: Anyway, congrats on winning the triple threat last week, good luck with Dwayne. Go kick his ass! Call me! BEEEEEEP! El Tremendo #2 tries to slump further into the sofa and escape the constant annoyances, but the phone rings yet again. Quick Cut to Tico, and then back to El T. Tico: Boss- El Tremendo #2: VOICE MAIL! Voice: Hi dear, it's your mother again. You really need to fix your voice mail thing, because it keeps cutting me off. I don't know why. I'm not done talking, so I don't know why it keeps beeping at me. I- Suddenly El T gets off the sofa, grabs the base of the phone unit and YANKS, ripping the phone cord right out of the wall, and El T FIRES the phone out of the frame, and we hear it crashing as it lands in the kitchen or somewhere else. We then cut to Tico for a couple moments, and then back to El T. Tico: You mad at something boss? El Tremendo #2: What do YOU'S think, Tico? Of COURSE I'm pissed off! My tempers is ah flarring like a raging pack of hemorrhoids! A months ago when I first arrives at FI dubba yous, I brings the gifts to the lot of them, and Dwayne THROWS IT INNA MY FACE!? What he did was inexcusable! You know, maybe Momma Tremendo is ah right. Maybe his head HAS grown toos big. Maybe his ego IS outs of control. He's forgotten his roots and peoples that are part of that. Cut to Tico, Tico: Then kick the fucking SHIT out of him this week! The FUCK are you pissin and moaning about? Take him to the "Meet 'N' Greet" again, bust that face up REAL good! Take that anger and use it! El Tremendo #2: Use it? Oh... you mean... channel it? Tico: Whatever man just pass the fucking chips! El Tremendo passes Tico the bag of Dorito's, El Tremendo #2: You know, you'ves got the points. Instead of beings pissed off at what Dwayne did, I should channels that energy elsewhere. Like his... where'd you say? Cut to Tico, and then back to El T. Tico: His big stupid FUCKING face! El Tremendo #2: YES! That's it! I channel my angers to he's big STOOPID FUCKINGS FACE!!! El Tremendo jumps up off the couch, spilling cola and potato chip crumbs everywhere, El Tremendo #2: Let's do it, Tico! Let's kick his ass! I - The GREAT... El Tremendo Luchadoré es Grande Spectacular-r-r-r-r-r-r... Supreme... Pause for Effect... Number Two - WILL IN FACT, Slay The Natural Borns Perfectionist Dwaynes West, all the way back to the toilets where he cames from! El Tremendo #2 wheels around and puts a fist through his wall! El Tremendo #2: You know? That kinda hurt. Better get that looked at. Tico rolls his eyes, Tico: (Sigh) I'll get the methamphetamine... Fade out. |
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