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It's No Hijo At All; Sponsored in part by SPAM...not that one
Topic Started: Nov 19 2011, 04:25 AM (27 Views)
Skell
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[ *  *  *  * ]
The scene opens on the Maxime Rowley multi-color test pattern

Announcer: "The following is a Maxime Rowley Internet Exclusive."

The scene cuts to Maxime Rowley Internet Exlusive-quarters. Max Rowley stands next to Scotty in the event center! Also known as in front of the wall with the FIW banner...

Hijo: "Hello and welcome crimestoppers, to the longest running weekly episodic program in the history of the internet, THE Maxime Rowley Internet Exclusive. To my left is Scotty, and I am the host of the evening the man whose introductions takes too for us to be graced with it's presence this evening. "El Hijo Del Awesome" Maxime "The Greatest" P.S. Rowley."

Scotty: "so that's it then?"

Hijo: "What?"

Scotty: "You are just going to say it's long instead of doing it."

Hijo: "Yes,"

Scotty: "This isn't a trick like last week."

Hijo: "I have no idea what you are talking about."

Scotty: "Last week you said you weren't going to do it and then did it anyway."

Hijo: "No, I was asking for clarification as to what it was I wasn't doing."

Scotty: "and in doing so did the long introduction."

Hijo: "Lies."

Scotty: "Whatever."

Hijo: "So those of you out there that were not destroyed and therefore still with us after the legendary battle through time and space last week, would undoubtedly realize that as I still exist I clearly won."

Scotty: "Marcus Helix exists."

Hijo: "Of course he does Scotty, of course he does."

Scotty: "He does... he's booked "

Hijo: "But has he shown up?!"

Scotty: "Revolt hasn't happened yet."

Hijo: "BUT IT HAS IN THE FUTURE!"

Scotty: "I really... really hate you."

Hijo: "You'd be stupid not to Scotty... but that's not important there's much more pressing matters to speak of."

Scotty: "Like?"

Hijo: "The way I totally sold a t-shirt to that spy after my match."

Scotty: "You gave it to him..."

Hijo: "Yes... and then I made him give me money."

Scotty: "his parents gave you the money."

Hijo: "Yes, it was the perfect plan... they don't even know that I KNOW that they know..."

Scotty: "Despite yelling it rather loudly at random hours... oftentimes when there's video equipment nearby."

Hijo: "I never said they were particularly bright..."

Scotty: "So what about your match this week."

Hijo: "IT IS A TRAVESTY OF JUSTICE!"

Scotty: "What?"

Hijo: "El Cuervo Blanco, El Valiente and El Hijo Del Awesome... what do all these people have in common!?"

Scotty: "They all have El in their names..."

Hijo: " THAT TOO! BUT MY OUTRAGE IS DIRECTED FIRMLY AT THE PLAGUE THAT HAS PLAGUED LUCHADORES FOR GENERATIONS!"

Scotty: "Must you yell..."

Hijo: "YES!"

Scotty: "Fine what is it."

Hijo: "Maskism."

Scotty: "This again."

Hijo: "Luchadores forced to team up with other lucha's SOLELY based on their adornments... that's profiling and that's not right!"

Scotty: "What about Darren Hayes?"

Hijo: "huh?"

Scotty: "He's on your team and he's not wearing a mask."

Hijo: "He's clearly wearing one in his heart..."

Scotty: "that doesn't make sense."

Hijo: "YOU DON'T MAKE SENSE! "

Scotty: "..."

Hijo: "Now I've finally decided to do something about it... and now you can too!"

Max punches the wall and on cue a brand new piece of Max Rowley Merchandise unfurls from the ceiling.

[align=center]Posted Image[/align]

Scotty: "SPAM?"

Hijo: "Yes, the Specific People Against Maskism's official shirt... buying this I guarantee you that all proceeds will go directly to me. "

Scotty: "Shouldn't that go to the foundation or something."

Hijo: "I made the foundation... I made the shirt... I am making the sales pitch... why shouldn't I get the money?"

Scotty: "I'm just saying... "

Hijo: "Are you trying to insinuate that this is somehow not really a charitible orginization... are you doubting the man that setup hundreds of them in the past like "Hijos Against Referees Who Make Bad Calls and Make Me Look Like a Jerk... Cause I'm Not... You're a Jerk." "

Scotty: "I would never talk bad about the HARWMBCMMLLJCINYAJ"

Hijo: "good."

Scotty: "are you going to talk about the match at all."

Hijo: "How could I?!"

Scotty: "Well you could talk about your opponents... what they've said... etc."

Hijo: "I meant with all the time it took me to setup this organization I really don't have any time to listen to what people said... or make counter arguments... or even come up with a strategy... I'm thinking something like Be awesome? But I need to workshop that a bit."

Scotty: "So do you have anything important to say?"

Hijo: "I'm Max Rowley and buy my t-shirts because they're awesome."

Scotty: "Wonderful."

Scotty walks off, Max just stands there smugly... this shot holds for like 10 minutes before it fades back to the test pattern.

Announcer: "This has been an exhilirating Maxime Rowley Internet Exclusive... show how much you love him by buying his t-shirts today! "

-fin-
<div style="max-height:64px; width: 100%; overflow:auto;">
El Hijo Del Awesome, Greatest Wrestler in the World

Your Favorite Four-Time Former FIW Fighting Spirit Champion
(02-28-10 - 5-30-10) (04-05-09 - 7-26-09) (06-10-12 - 9-29-12 )

Two Time Former Tag Team Champion
(01-11-09 - 04-19-09) (07-29-12 - 10-28-12)
</div>

Former Fighting Spirit, Tag Team, Undisputed International and Dual Crown Champion.

Winner of the 2011 Lady Luck Tournament


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