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| CCN: Antiquated Traditions; Rurik Krychek - Promo 141 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Nov 25 2011, 09:00 PM (47 Views) | |
| Clockman89 | Nov 25 2011, 09:00 PM Post #1 |
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Spiral Out, Keep Going
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The scene begins with a still black and white photograph, that of Rurik Krychek, James Unger, Ivan Rurik, and Dexter Cloud all in their Sunday best. Dexter is holding out a cell phone and it's clear he took this picture in your average hotel room while aiming it at a big mirror inside. The words "Crazy Communist News" are typed out across their legs as the click-clack of a typewriter announces the arrival of each new letter. Once finished the "ding!" can be heard, signaling the end of the line. And with that fades in a brief snippet of the theme... [align=center]I got my propaganda, I got revisionism. I got my violence in high-def ultra realism. All a part of this great nation. I got my fist, I got my plan, I got survivalism.[/align] The camera pulls out revealing the picture is hosted on a big flat screen monitor. As it continues pulling out James Unger and Rurik Krychek swing in from the left and right respectively. Unger wears a camouflage patterned dress shirt while Krychek is in a hideous lime green vest with purple dress shirt. Unger's fisherman's hat and Krychek's matching bowler can be seen on the desk near the outside of the frame. For the record the left ear of Krychek is still bandaged. Unger: Hello everybody. I'm James Unger and this is Crazy Communist News, the only news show that will tell you the truth no matter how uncomfortable it may be such as somewhere out there someone would pay good money to see your grandfather naked. Krychek's eyes narrow, but not as much for the anger of Unger's off-color jokes, but the fact even he is slightly disturbed by that one. Unger: And my co-host, as if you didn't already know, is Rurik Krychek. Now if you'll excuse me I will continue sitting here and being about as useful to democracy as a Republican. Hey, that wasn't a bad burn out of Unger. Unger smiles and nods before his face falls and he sits there eerily still. Krychek takes a deep breath, and is any one eager to hear what this edition of CCN is about? I am! Krychek: Crazy Communist News, for those new and unknowing or those old and forgetful, is a mock news cast. It is mocking in nature for multiple reasons. News shows often don't report actual news any more, nor do they actually mock the audience beyond insulting their intelligence. But here we seek to give you a slice of the human condition, enlightening you as to things you may think are important, but aren't, or vice versa. The part of the human condition we are delving into today is two separate points that are entwined together. As a whole we can call it the Egotism of Christianity or as I've infrequently been calling Christianity in private these days--those antiquated traditions. Wait, Krychek doesn't like Christianity? Why didn't someone tell us?! Krychek: The first step in this slice of the human condition focuses on a ficticious controversy aimed at Barrack Obama. Recently some Christians have been up in arms over the White House announcing that it will not feature a Christmas Tree this year, a staple tradition of the White House. Many Christians are upset, feeling this is taking America away from it's religious foundation and that it is just another example of the bible haters being in control of this country--despite the fact that there have little to no Presidents of the United States that have not been a Christian to some degree. The problem with this controversy is that it has been circulating every since Obama was elected into office, appearing in 2009 and 2010 respectively, proving that because he doesn't have a standard Christian name that it apparently perfectly acceptable by the standards of Americans to act in such a bigoted fashion towards the man. America. Land of the "good God you're not white, what do you think you're doing in our country?" And of course another bigger problem with this controversy is that it is simply not true. Little have the American Christians done in recent times to disgust me more than being so concerned over the potential lack of a Christmas Tree in the White House while their personal freedoms are continually eroded. Yes the fact that your privacy has been taken away and the Patriot Act voted back in, the fact that your freedom of speech has been taken away in at least two different laws, and in certain instances you don't have the right to habeas corpus, that is all trivial. There might not be a Christmas Tree in the White House, someone grab the guns. It's a little more funny when you remember one of the big scares about Obama was also that he was supposedly going to take away our guns. Silly, silly, stupid Americans. Krychek: Fact of the matter is while people are upset that Obama supposedly removed the Christmas Tree tradition, I am more upset that he is keeping the tradition going. Perhaps proving that no matter who is the President of the United States no one will be happy. My displeasure with this tradition stems from the Constitution of the United States that essentially says there is to be a separation of church, I.E. Christian artifacts, and state, I.E. government buildings. Now while the First Amendment specifically speaks of not passing laws prohibiting or respecting a religion, and not necessarily not adorning the building with artifacts of a religion, consider what it looks like to outsiders. Consider what it must have been like for the Jews of Germany, those that got away before the Concentration Camps or perhaps those that survived. America sounds as good as place as any. It says proudly "Land of the Free." After having been hunted, murdered, slandered, tortured, experimented on for little reason other than having a different belief than the tyrannical Furhur of Germany to show up into a country that tells everyone they have a separation of church and state--you can be what you want and no religion will be put higher on a pedestal than any others. Imagine their surprise when the White House, perhaps the biggest and most important government building the United States has, dresses up a Christmas tree each year. It clearly gives off an impression, and while I wouldn't dare suggest that we impose laws based off of impressions, especially since that would be prohibitive of religious rights, I think it sends a wrong message and creates problems. For instance let us suppose the United States elected a Jewish President... First of all he's Jewish and as the Christians so often remind us with gory and bloodied films such as the Passion of the Christ, which borders on enough violence that if it were any other movie many Christians would have been up in arms over the amount of violence and demanding it not be suitable for viewing, the Jews did something to Christ. You'll have to forgive me, the exact act escapes my mind. Oh ho, you and your dry wit. Krychek: Digressions aside, he is Jewish. He's not very likely to put up a Christmas Tree, now is he? So he is put into an uncomfortable position. On one hand he can choose not to continue this antiquated tradition and be considered Satan, or he can be untrue to his own beliefs and keep it. Either way he isn't exactly given understanding and freedom to this as either way he will be prosecuted in the public's mind, be it by Christians or Jews, for a decision based around his religious beliefs. Doesn't sound very free to me, but what do I know? I'm just logical. Any reasonable person would deem this conundrum wholly unfair to this hypothetical man. While I am aware the President of the United States resides in the White House itself, they do generally keep a home away from the White House. Therefore I propose that they set their religious artifacts up there and enjoy them on the days when they can, while leaving the government buildings religion free to make sure there are no undue religious restrictions or wrongful impressions so that we may assure a country where everyone can feel their government is not putting one religion before another and all can enjoy the feeling of being free. Hm. Sounds logical. Must be the work of the devil. Krychek: But now the second point. The more important point. There are those in the United States of America that declare this nation to be... A Christian nation. The despot is silent. He, and I, am letting you draw your own feelings quickly as to this statement. Krychek: That's right, the whole separation of church and state thing? Completely misunderstood, it's a Christian nation to these people. That whole freedom to whatever religious belief or non-belief you want to have? That's insane, it's a Christian nation. You Muslims want a few extra breaks in the day so you can pray to your God? It's funny you have those silly ridiculous ideas, this is a Christian nation we're talking about where we believe cold hard facts like a man that walked on water, healed the blind, was the son of God, and was resurrected after death. Those aren't silly things to believe in at all. 'Cause it's a Christian nation. I'd like to correct these imbeciles by reminding them that America is not intended to be a Christian nation--realistically it was intended to be so old rich white men didn't have to pay taxes to those evil oppressing British who wanted them to pay for the military presence they were benefiting from--it is a religiously tolerant nation. Or it is supposed to be. Americans are some of the biggest bigots I've ever come across. Now a lot of Christians will take offense to that. "But we've said God bless America thousands of times and even have it on the money! It has to be ours by now." "It's not a good clean moral country if it's not lead by Christians." Your egotism knowing no bounds aside, remember that the primary difference between Christian Nation and Religiously Tolerant Nation is...everyone else in the nation. Christian Nation is geared towards Christians, the Religiously Tolerant Nation geared towards everyone. Because a religiously tolerant nation still includes, but is not so egotistical as to be exclusive to, Christianity. Now remember this doesn't apply to all Christians, just the ones so egotistical as to think they're above the constitution. That makes you bad Americans. Feel shame. Right now. Krychek: So you see while some of us fight for freedom, your good clean moral Christian oppressors want to remind you they're the right religion, and if you believe otherwise you are just bat-shit crazy. The idea that it is a Christian nation is just plain egotistical and selfish, and I'm sure the Christians have their equivalent of me--an annoying, preaching, know-it-all--who professes that those that want anything other than a Christian Nation are egotistical and selfish wanting their own freedoms over the wants and needs of people believing in antiquated ideas. I would hope that forward thinking and progressive thinkers will look past the same old Christian bashing and understand that the message being put across is that no matter how much you believe in your religion and how much you want to share it all and show how dominate you are in the prick waving contests that are religion and countries that if you want America and Americans to be free you're going to have to give up being a Christian Nation. Indeed. Krychek: Now then, speaking of Christians who suck... Monsieur Cruz. Hm. Krychek gives a broad smile as indication he has made a funny. Well okay, not a funny, but a joke. Not a good joke, but a joke. The smile dissipates. Krychek: Forgive an old fool and his out of character segways. Even I must dabble in the absurd now and again if only to keep an ever growing ego in a sort of check. That said, it has been a long journey to this point in time. Before we begin with Cruz I feel now is my last chance to say something. I'd like to take this time to address a Seigi Sentai roleplay where in the description Krychek was called childish for refuting what Seigi Sentai said. I'll save any in character rhetoric for when it would be of use, but I'd like to point out the lack of balls Tim has for not saying it openly where Krychek can tear him down. Because Tim's a chicken-shit. Baaawk bawk-bawk-bawk baaaawk. Krychek: I have no doubt whatsoever that Monsieur Cruz can appreciate the story that has been cultivated through the two years I have been in FIW. As at least a man knowledgeable of the Shakespearian tales, if not an admirer of them as well, he can appreciate the major plot points that serves as the tale of my three acts. It began over two years ago. I had gotten out of the monastery where I learned to control my anger for reasons pertaining to my health. I could see things more clearly. Where once I was a man that sought to change the world simply to my views, I had walked out with more than a control for my anger. I had developed a world-wide consciousness. While I had always been aware of atrocities and injustices, I was still a relatively young man. One who was more concerned with his well being. But I grew to understand I was in a unique position. Through the years I had cultivated a name in this industry. A name that causes a certain mythos in areas that had heard my name. Whispers precede my appearances as people talk of things I've done and said, even here in FIW. I have said time and again I don't do this for the money. I can live comfortably should I choose to walk away today and never need to work again. But I had a problem. I knew of these atrocities and injustices, and though I tried to put them out of mind the ghosts kept coming back. I know now as I did then that I do not have the power to fix the world, but I can leave a mark. Thus the Brotherhood came to mind and I threw myself back into this industry with a renewed vigor. I did so not for myself, but for others. I used every skill at my disposal. Athletics to keep up with the younger crowd, the intellect to map out the long term plan, and my gift as an orator to spread the message and gain soldiers. People stood in my way, not understanding the plan or how viable it truly was. Counter-revolutions were stamped out under my lead and in time victory was achieved. The Grand Prix Champion takes a deep breath before continuing. Krychek: But there is a problem in that victory. I started in this industry just to understand humanity. Wrestling provided me with means to live, and eat, and to accomplish this one goal of mine. Almost a life long goal. I understand humanity. Why people do what they do... I accomplished a goal, the one task I needed to in order to feel my time on this earth was not wasted. I could have ended it there and lived out my life peacefully. But I needed to use this knowledge so that I could look at myself in the mirror. I accomplished this second goal. At thirty-two years of age I have accomplished two different life goals. It has left me with a sense of emptiness as I am directionless. Where do I go from here? The only place left at this moment in time is the Dual Crown Championship. Two years I have been slowly moving towards this moment in time. Before it was just a means to an end, but now it is the end itself. For ages people have wondered why I didn't just gun for the Championships, especially in response to how full of hubris I am. It was often something for people to point at when suggesting I wasn't as grand as I said I am. It's because people gun immediately for the big title and often when they get there they can't handle it for long. They lose it quickly or perhaps hold on to it for a respectable amount of time but can never get back to it once it's lost. Because they don't take the appropriate time to build up into it. I took the tertiary Cruiserweight Championship. I took the World Tag Team Championships, and held them simultaneously with the secondary Undisputed International Championship... And then I became the only triple Champion on FIW's history. I remind people of this not to play the dick waving contest of who has held what. I'm merely stating I have made a slow burn and the only thing left for me to conquer is the Dual Crown Championship. This is a friendly text break. As opposed to the unfriendly ones that call your mother a whore and sleep with your girlfriend. Krychek: There is no reasonable man, woman, or child that watches FIW that doesn't know I have what it takes to take that Championship. Two years I have built to this moment. I have built to this crescendo, Monsieur Cruz. And I'll be damned if I let it slip through my grasp now. We've always had a quiet...respect. Following the retirement of the Brotherhood banner we maintained that. You didn't get in my way, and I didn't get in yours. But it is time for our stories to converge and intertwine once more. This time, however, we both cannot raise our hands in victory. One of us must lose. A tragedy must befall one of us. Either the monster's reign comes to an end or the Siberian once more rises to immortality. I do hope that when the dust settles, Monsieur Cruz, that we can maintain our unique friendship. After all in this world... Neither of us have many people we can stretch far enough to call a friend. And with that the challenger this Sunday gives a nod of his head to indicate he has finished. Unger suddenly wakes up from his robotic slumber and signs us off. Unger: Ladies and gentlemen this has been your edition of Crazy Communist News as I will forever remember it, "Rurik Krychek. The Grinch Who Verbally Assaulted Antiquated Traditions." We'll see you again sometime in the future because God knows Krychek cannot keep his mouth shut. Krychek's face hardens as he looks less than pleased with Unger's jab. Unger smiles as he rarely does jab at Krychek. But with that the two men stand up, collect their hats and walk off screen. The big screen in the back has a few dashes and dots appear as the scene fades. These dots and dashes, however, remain bright on the screen for a few seconds after utter darkness before they abruptly disappear. [align=center]-.-- --- ..- -.- -. --- .-- -- -.-- -- . - .... --- -.. .-.-.- .. - .. ... ..-. --- ..- -. -.. . -.. ..- .--. --- -. - .... . --- -... ... . .-. ...- .- - .. --- -. --- ..-. - .-. .. ..-. .-.. . ... .-.-.- [/align] |
[align=center]The Great 2019 Campaign: Krychek for Hall of Fame![]() FIW Grand Prix Champion (12 26 10 - 12 04 11 - Krychek) (12 29 14 - Present - Krychek) FIW Undisputed International Champion (05 31 09 - 07 26 09 - Phoenix) (12 05 10 - 03 27 11 - Krychek) (03 27 11 - 05 29 11 - Krychek) FIW World Tag Team Champion (01 11 09 - 04 19 09 - Phoenix) (11 07 10 - 01 30 11 - Krychek) (02 26 12 - 03 25 12 - Krychek) (10 06 13 - 10 13 14 - Krychek) FIW Fighting Spirit Champion (09 29 12 - 09 01 13 - Krychek) FIW Cruiserweight Champion (12 06 09 - 06 20 10 - Krychek) <div style="max-height:64px; width: 100%; overflow:auto;"> FIW Co-Rookie of the Year, 2009 Match of the Month, March 2010 Storyline of the Month, March 2010 Storyline of the Month, April 2010 Match of the Month, May 2010 Promotion of the Month, May 2010 Match of the Month, June 2010 Match of the Month, October 2010 Tag Team of the Month, November 2010 Match of the Month, December 2010 Promotion of the Month, December 2010 Multi-Person Promotion of the Year, 2010 ReVolt Match of the Year, 2010 Match of the Month, January 2011 Storyline of the Month, February 2011 Storyline of the Month, March 2011 Promotion of the Month, June 2011 Match of the Month, November 2011 Promotion of the Month, November 2011 Match of the Month, December 2011 Promotion of the Month, December 2011 Storyline of the Year, 2011 Match of the Month, February 2012 Tag Team of the Month, April 2014 Tag Team of the Month, May 2014 Storyline of the Month, May 2014 Tag Team of the Month, June 2014 Match of the Month, July 2014 Storyline of the Month, July 2014 (Rurik Krychek) Promotion Of The Month, July 2011 (Razorback) Storyline of the Year, 2011 (William Reign) Writer of the Year, 2010 Writer of the Year, 2011</div>[/align] | |
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