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| Requesting punishment(Mistress of Novice's office); The prize for disrespect | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 14 2004, 06:26 AM (213 Views) | |
| Shaya | Oct 14 2004, 06:26 AM Post #1 |
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(ooc:: Because of this ) Shaya walked down to the Mistress of Novices' office with a heavy heart and lead in her shoes. Now that she had finally made up her mind, she would not back down, but it didn't make the task any easier. After speaking to Fianna and getting her thoughts on how to settle an honor debt like this, she had decided that the punishment would have to be something she really really dreaded, otherwise it would just be meaningless and hollow. She still felt shame burning on her cheeks whenever she thought about how she had caused a man to crumble in front of her eyes, for no other reason than to satisfy her foolish curiosity and childish pride. For days she had expected to be called down for this and the fact that he had not reported her, only made her shame deeper and the feeling she needed to be punished stronger. As she approached the heavy oak door, she realised she did not even know his name. She had trampled on his heart as casually as a cow walks on the grass and she did not even know his name. She still had no idea what to tell the Mistress of Novices, who would be surprised to see her again so soon. She could not even say he had send her, for he had not. Nor could she think of any plausible story that would warrant the kind of punishment she was about to request, barring the truth. Shaya had realised that even scrubbing floors or washing pots would be nothing more than a minor inconvenience for as long as it lasted, it was no real "punishment". For days she had tried to think of something that would really make her feel that she had "payed off" some of this shame. It had to be something he never knew about, for there was no honor in it if she did it so he would forgive her. Fianna had said that only she herself could decide when she had paid enough to equal her shame and Shaya thought it made sense. She very much liked the idea of being able to redeem your honor in such a way. The frightening thing was that the only thing she could think of that had her fidgeting in her shoes nervously, was physical pain. Ever since being caught by one of Caies rival's and being tortured for information, the thought of even the slightest pain made her shake in her shoes and even now she lifted her hand to knock on the Mistress of Novices door twice and let if fall to her side again. Clenching her jaw she made herself knock on the door with a pounding heart and a stomach that lurched with anticipation. She prayed she would be there, for she wasn't sure she could do it again. |
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| Valarian | Oct 14 2004, 07:17 AM Post #2 |
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Retired Aman Val
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((OOC: Sorry to drop in... Since you can recognise the colors of his shen and his rank on his uniform, you probably know Valarian is the Rei al'Aman Val. You may not know his name, that may depends on how long you've been in the towers, I don't know really....)) |
![]() Talents: Elementalism (fire), Traveling and Dreamwalking | |
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| Fianna | Oct 14 2004, 11:03 AM Post #3 |
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OOC: WOW people are using me and I didn't even know it how cool!!!
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| Shaya | Oct 14 2004, 12:34 PM Post #4 |
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(ooc: Yeah, sorry to be a bit liberal with your opinion there Fianna, but I just wanted to get this moving
... And Val... I basically figured she wouldn't have a clue about Shen's (tbh I haven't even figured this out OOC, never mind IC) seeing she's only just come to grips with Ajah's and such.. But ofcourse you are right in saying she would be able to describe color and decorations, if perhaps not knowing which rank they stood for.. *looks around to see if the MoN was heading towards her office* )
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| Fianna | Oct 14 2004, 08:33 PM Post #5 |
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OOC: well we had just started on that thread so when I read your new post I was like WOW i haven't even typed anything yet LOL It's okay though |
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| Cayana Alhi | Oct 14 2004, 11:27 PM Post #6 |
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Retired Green Sister
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((OOC: Shaya I'm sorry but I won't be able to respond here until sunday unless I sneak online (like I'm doing right now) but I have copied your post and will make sure to post first thing when I wake up on sunday *hugs* sorry)) |
<center>![]() Bio :: Talent: Healing Bonded to Radgar al'Exander</center> | |
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| Shaya | Oct 15 2004, 03:12 AM Post #7 |
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(ooc: No worries, take your time! I'm just a slacker with too much online access at work while I'm on the phone to customers
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| Cayana Alhi | Oct 17 2004, 05:16 AM Post #8 |
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Retired Green Sister
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It had been interesting to see the reactions between the two as they saw each other. Cayana had almost laughed but she had kept herself from it and turned to leave. The eyes of a novice and Asha'man locking like that. It made her think of her mother and Rialt and a will to remind Valarian that novices and accepted where strictly off limits until they left or where raised Aes Sedai. She had pushed the thing out of her mind for now though as she had better things to do. Cayana could always bring it up when she returned Valarians book. Entering the hallway where her office was Cayana saw the line of novices and accepted waiting for her to come back. One of the Accepted straightened and tried to look neither the other Accepted nor the novices existed and that she was the first who would be speaking to Cayana. With fixed eye contact with the girl and a gesture to the back of the line that attitude faded fast and Cayana opened the door to her office. It took only a little while to go through the line of people, mostly it was punishments or errands that the novices didn't just feel like leaving by the door. The one who took the longest was that Accepted at the back of the line who insisted on an audience with the Amyrlin. After further inquiry it was all about getting raised to Aes Sedai and the girl got sent to the laundry room to scrub some clothes until she realized that it was not she who deemed anyone ready for raising and that being Accepted for a month wasn't at all enough time to learn what must be learned. Light, who even thought about raising her to Accepted in the first place! The room was dark now. Besides the candles on her desk on upper floor in the furthest part of the room from the outer door no light shone. The curtains to the window was closed and Cayana was sitting there reading a report as a knock came at the door. As she had just started reading the report all she said was "Come in" and continued on reading. The outer door opened and closed to admit the girl or who ever it was that came knocking. Cayana would let the person wait till she was done though. As she finished reading the report she put the papers on the table and looked up only to find the girl that she was most certain had classes or chores or something right about now. "Yes, Shaya?" Cayana said waiting to hear why she had been sent to her office now. The girl most certainly didn't come for the company. The stern look on the girl face made Cayana think there might be more behind this then just the normal punishment meetings though. |
<center>![]() Bio :: Talent: Healing Bonded to Radgar al'Exander</center> | |
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| Shaya | Oct 25 2004, 09:27 AM Post #9 |
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(ooc: looks like I'm the one who went MIA there, sorry..had a bad cold, did not feel up to posting much
) By the time the Mistress of Novices ordered her to enter, her heart was beating so loudly, she was sure Cayana would be able to hear it. The Aes Sedai did not look up from her papers to see who had come in straight away and while time ticked away, Shaya thought she would be sick from sheer nervousness. She clenched her hands on her stomach to settle down the lurching heaves of anxiety and stood waiting for Shayana to acknowledge her. When she finally looked up, there was nothing in her expression to say she was surprised or curious and Shaya swallowed as she realised the moment of truth had arrived. Just as she met the Aes Sedai's level gaze, Shaya was suddenly certain that Cayana would not stand for any nonsense. Simply marching in and asking to be publically flogged would probably only earn her a lecture on obviously not having enough to do if she had time for such foolishness. Still, she was here now, she could hardly turn on her heel with a "never mind" and walk away. Her mind racing, she looked at Cayana thoughfully and slowly asked: "What offense would you consider grave enough for a novice to be physically punished?" She was going out on a limb there, but she was grasping at straws at that point. If the Mistress of Novices would not give her the punishment she asked for, perhaps she could commit the offense that would warrant such a punishment in her eyes. She realised it was a more than odd question to ask and the expression on Cayana's face told her that her patience was growing very thin already indeed. Biting her lips in frustration she decided she would have to give some kind of explanation. "I... I have shamed someone deeply.. and I cannot tell you who, only that it was a high ranking officer of the Black Tower." At least she thought he was a man of some importance, judging by the colors and markings on his uniform. "I know I cannot make this right, no matter what I do, but perhaps I can look at myself in the mirror again if I am at least punished for it.. " She cast her eyes down, not being able to look Cayana in the eyes. Now that she said it out loud, it even sounded rediculous in her own ears, were it not that she was still haunted by the raw pain and anguish in the Asha'man's eyes every time she thought about it. |
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| Cayana Alhi | Nov 2 2004, 12:24 PM Post #10 |
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The girl hesitated before saying anything and when she did it was in really slow and uncertain words. The question in itself made Cayana raise an eyebrow. What in the name of the light made the girl ask such a question? Only a fool asked for the offense like that. Cayana really felt like telling the girl 'Stay out of trouble and you won't have to find out.' But as Cayana rose her eyebrow the girl started to explain herself. So as the girl did Cayana remembered the meeting she had seen between Shaya and Valarian a bit better. The expression on Valarians face when they had seen each other in the eyes. Perhaps the two had spoken after she left? "Would this man perhaps be Asha'man with bands of green and red on the cuffs? perhaps some other marks besides the dragon and sword pins at his collar?" Cayana didn't really need to see the girls reaction to know that she was speaking of Valarian, Rei of the al'Aman Val. "What did you do?" Cayana knew long before she asked the question that Shaya wouldn't like to answer that question one bit. Still Cayana wished to know or she would only send Shaya to her classes with a small punishment for being late for those. Shaya did seem bright enough to understand that Cayana wouldn't do something when she had no idea what was going on. |
<center>![]() Bio :: Talent: Healing Bonded to Radgar al'Exander</center> | |
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| Shaya | Nov 3 2004, 09:21 AM Post #11 |
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Shaya's heart nearly stopped as Cayana described the Asha'man's uniform perfectly. Only then did it come to her that she had been speaking to the Mistress of Novices only moments before her encounter with the Asha'man. Blood first drained from her face before it rushed back in and colored them a deep crimson. Her cheeks felt so hot she thought it was a small wonder that her hair wasn't catching fire! There was no chance now of saving the both of them some further embarassment, she could only hope Cayana would not have the unfortunate sense of duty to tell the Asha'man about it. From the look on his face she very much doubted he'd want anyone else to know about it and she wanted to keep her punishment a secret from him. Trying to regain some form of composure, she released her tight grip on her skirts and took a deep breath. "From your description I have to assume you are more familiar with him than I am, for I don't even know his name." Shaya found that admitting what she had done was more difficult than she had imagined, especially in front of this woman she respected so much. "I had no reason to pry into his personal life, but I wanted to get a reaction from him and so I sought to hurt him." Technically that was not exactly true. She had just wanted to get any kind of reaction from the man that intrigued her so and ignored her so completely. She could never have imagined her words to have such an effect on him. Even speaking those words out loud, it nearly made her cringe. It was so completely out of character for her to care about anyone and having to explain made her feel like a squirming bug trapped for examination. Shaya wondered if she had come to the wrong person. At least Fianna seemed to understand her need for punishment, her need to wash away this burning shame. She realised that Cayana could have no idea of the extend of what Shaya was asking for. Nobody knew about that part of her and how even the thought of pain send her into a cold sweat. Shaya's eyes widened as the thought occurred to her that Cayana might ask the Asha'man to see to her herself. She thought she would surely die of shame if that happened. |
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| Cayana Alhi | Nov 4 2004, 09:36 AM Post #12 |
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"To not know high ranking Asha'man on sight isn't all to good, Shaya. But I'm wondering, how did you manage to hurt an Asha'man personally without knowing him?" Cayana asked looking at Shaya still with one eyebrow raised. The girl had come to be punished, not sent so thinking the girl was lying unless she had gotten a dare to do this was silly. She did however remember those who bullied others into doing stupid things like this, mostly novices made other novices do pranks rather then just get the punishment but someone could have come up with something original... Knowing all this, and even remembering events she had seen as a novice and accepted, she still somewhat believed Shaya. The girl seemed strong in herself and not easy influenced by others. On top of that she seemed to be ashamed and she had given a rather peculiar reaction in Valarian. And such a reaction wasn't easy to get. "Have you met him before?" Valarian wasn't the social type but she could at least ask. If Valarian was heading into something at all even remotely similar to what Rialt had done with her mother then Cayana had a duty to stop it before it was to late. Cayana didn't really think he was, but she had to make sure. If this was only a thing of Shaya being ashamed of having hurt Valarian on the other hand, then a physical punishment was something that Cayana didn't really feel was appropriate. It was a way to avoid the problem, what she was ashamed of not to deal with it. Still she understood the girl. Giving oneself punishment was common among Aes Sedai, it rarely came to asking someone to do it for you though or help for that matter. Cayana had even punished herself a few times for things she had done while drunk, and for getting drunk... Thinking about all this she waited for a reply from the girl who wasn't really getting less ashamed by the look of her. |
<center>![]() Bio :: Talent: Healing Bonded to Radgar al'Exander</center> | |
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| Shaya | Nov 4 2004, 01:13 PM Post #13 |
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"To not know high ranking Asha'man on sight isn't all to good, Shaya. But I'm wondering, how did you manage to hurt an Asha'man personally without knowing him?" Shaya felt a brief flash of indignation at those words. And exactly how were they supposed to be able to recognise an Asha'man's uniform or decorations? Before she came to the Tower, she could barely grasp the concept of being in the same place with male channelers let alone what their uniforms looked like. She suspposed she had been in the Tower long enough by now to show some interest, but the thought had simply never occurred to her. She was glad to know what she needed about the Ajah's and even so she sometimes made mistakes if the Sisters were not wearing their shawls. She suppressed the emotion quickly, for she realised it would do her no good now. Cayana had raised a very valid point. How exactly had she managed to hurt a man so deeply she had only briefly laid eyes on twice in her life? Shaya only knew that assesing people was what she did for a living. How could she explain to Cayana that reading people's body language came as easy to her as others read a book? Even with someone as unreadable and stoic as this Asha'man, she had still managed to pick up the minute signs of a man trying to wall himself in, trying to shut out the pain. And with a wild stab in the dark she had uttered exactly those words that brought that pain home to him as if the walls he build were nothing but air. In that brief moment when their eyes locked and she realised what she had done, she had seen the utter cruelty of her act in the devastation behind his eyes. Shaya realised Cayana was still waiting for an answer and shook her head. "I saw him briefly for the first time in the library, but we only exchanged two words in which he told me to leave him alone." And that's exactly what you did, wasn't it? she thought bitterly. She found herself hoping that Cayana would at least reveal his name to her, although it would be easy now to get the information of any Soldier, who would surely know the name of a Rei. By the look on Cayana's face, Shaya realised her chances of getting the punishment she requested were getting very dim. In a way she could not blame Cayana. She had dug this hole herself and trying to simply undo it with a few straps of a belt was beginning to sound rediculous even to her. "I shouldn't have bothered you with this Cayana Sedai, " she muttered under her breath. The mistress of Novice's was forcing her to face what she had done with her questions and perhaps that was exactly what she had been looking for when she came to her. Shaya started to realise that Cayana had not been appointed to this task by mere chance. Cayana seemed to have a startling good idea about what went on inside the heads of her charges and used it effectively to cut right to the chase in matters like this. Shaya firmed and pulled herself up to stand straighter; no matter how much she dreaded the confrontation, a proper apology was in order here. But first the mistress of Novices was bound to set her a penance for waisting her time like that. Shaya nearly smiled at the thought, being send away to scrub pots would be something very different from what she had prepared for when she came here. |
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| Cayana Alhi | Nov 7 2004, 02:56 PM Post #14 |
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Retired Green Sister
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To get an emotional reaction from an Asha'man like Valarian was an extraordinary thing. Cayana didn't know much about Shayas background, she had refused to tell much of it as she was brought to the tower, still much suggested Shaya was used to manipulation. Exposure and to use it herself. It was a good thing that, while at the tower, it gave her an advantage. Cayana hadn't really had much of that. Sure she had know some, but the Saldaean noble houses, any of the borderland noble houses really, didn't play the Daes Dae'mar. As she had lived at the tower though, she had learned what she had had to and tried to learn even more then that. Shaya took quite a moment before admitting to have met the Asha'man in the library and to have been told to leave him alone. Not long after though did she mutter something completely different under her breath. "You wish to be punished because you feel ashamed? or because he was hurt?" Cayana folded her hands in her lap and looked at Shaya a bit more intensively. This girl had two things that needed to be dealt with, one was what she had come here for, to get punished, the second was to deal with her low knowledge about the ranks in the towers. I guess I could put some of my work aside for a little while longer... She thought as she pondered what to do about the latter. ((OOC: I just can't think of anything else without asking you about what she would answer to that question. And since an answer would take just as long as posting and getting a reply I'll just post this. Sorry, I just couldn't write anything more...)) |
<center>![]() Bio :: Talent: Healing Bonded to Radgar al'Exander</center> | |
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| Shaya | Nov 10 2004, 09:16 AM Post #15 |
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(ooc: Don't worry, it's my fault for giving you so little to go by ) "You wish to be punished because you feel ashamed? or because he was hurt?" Shaya shook her head as she considered that question. "The fact that he was hurt in the past was not my fault, but I do feel ashamed for so carelessly toying with his feelings, it's just not honorable." As she listened to the words pouring out of her mouth, she could not believe she was actually saying them. Was that not exactly what she had been doing all her life? Purposely manipulating people for her own personal gain? Shaya suddenly felt as if the universe was having a big joke at her expense. Why did she feel this way now? Why was making this "right" with Valarian so important to her? Looking up at Cayana, she wondered how she could explain feelings she did not understand herself. "Cayana Sedai, I don't know why this is so important to me. The light knows I have done worse things to people and never gave it a second thought." Shaya bit her lip. She had not meant for that last part to be added; she was getting too comfortable and too careless with her past. She rushed on, hoping Cayana Sedai would not think anything off it. "Like I said before, I don't know the first thing about Asha'man, all I ever heard about them before coming to the Tower was that they were something to be feared. Ruthless men, who will kill with the power on a whim." Her eyes focused on a spot just behind Cayana for a second as she thought of Valarian. Sighing she focussed her attention and asked: "Has there ever been anyone in your life Cayana Sedai that made you want to be a better person?" She wondered if Aes Sedai could afford feelings any more than a rogue on the run could. "I think I just convinced myself that an apology simply wouldn't do, for even if he accepted it, how could it undo what I did?" She clicked her tongue in frustration for the whole thing was giving her a headache by now. "I think I am still trying to get my head around the fact that I am a novice now and that nothing I could do could possible matter or make a difference to any Asha'man." She realised Cayana was being more than patient with her, for she surely had better things to do than listen to the mad ramblings of a novice. "maybe there is no solution to this, other than me sticking to what I'm supposed to do and making sure I stay out the way of the Black Tower." She finished and waited for Cayana to tire of her and send her on her way. |
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... And Val... I basically figured she wouldn't have a clue about Shen's (tbh I haven't even figured this out OOC, never mind IC) seeing she's only just come to grips with Ajah's and such.. But ofcourse you are right in saying she would be able to describe color and decorations, if perhaps not knowing which rank they stood for.. *looks around to see if the MoN was heading towards her office* )


I'm just a slacker with too much online access at work while I'm on the phone to customers
;) )

9:37 AM Jul 11