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| Whatever It Takes (The Library); OtA | |
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| Topic Started: Nov 29 2007, 05:53 AM (860 Views) | |
| Farina Aileen | Nov 29 2007, 05:53 AM Post #1 |
Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah, Lost during the War
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(OOC: Anyone who wants to play with a rather frustrated but fun-loving, men-loving and determined soon-to-be-Aes Sedai, do join.  )Farina closed her eyes and leaned back on her chair, frustrated at the complexity of the text she was trying to make some sense of. Farina wasn't particularly interested in the social structure and politics of Cairhien, but Arena Sedai had already taught her the basics of the Game of Houses and she refused to tutor Farina further until she had written a detailed report on the subject that showed Farina's understanding of Cairhienin relations. Farina wasn't too interested in the Daes Dae'mar either, but it was a part of her overall training in the customs and politics of different nations. And if she worked hard and at least seemed interested in the subjects, she would be raised sooner. Light, let it be so. Farina was pushing sixty now, but the Mistress of Novices hadn't shown the slightest of implications to raise her. Farina knew the Hundred Weaves by heart, she could weave them in her sleep, and she had managed the Aes Sedai calmness and serenity for decades. She had studied dutifully and had mastered the art of weather manipulation and Healing, both Talents of hers. She was still having a bit of trouble at Keeping, but she was progressing fast. She had learned every weave taught to her, except of course those that required more strength than she had. She knew White Tower and Black Tower history, the basics of the Old Tongue, the laws and customs of the White Tower (at least the ones the Aes Sedai revealed to the Accepted), she knew how to link and she had taken extensive classes in Shadowspawn and different militaries of nations. She had spent hours with various Yellow sisters polishing her Healing skills and learning different herbs and other remedies. But recently she had spent most of her time with the Greens, although they wouldn't start teaching her for real until she had the shawl draped around her shoulders. Nevertheless, she knew exactly how the Warder bond worked and how Greens made formations during battle and other general things. What else did the Aes Sedai want her to do? Farina thought that she was ready to get raised. She couldn't imagine what more she could learn, what weaves she could master without having the authority of the shawl. They said that their true training only began after they were raised to Aes Sedai, and Farina didn't doubt that one bit. All the interesting thing, all the truly useful things were only taught to Aes Sedai. And Farina wanted to get there. She felt like Acceptedhood had nothing more to offer her. But what could she do? Just study harder and show the Aes Sedai and the Mistress of Novices that she truly was ready. They could hardly still hold into account that she had run away from the Tower so many years ago. Hadn't she shown that she was there to learn and she wanted to become Aes Sedai a million times after she had returned? She had left two children to become Aes Sedai, for Light's sake. What more could they want? Farina shook her head. Those thoughts would get her nowhere. She just needed to continue working to show the Aes Sedai that she was ready. What else could they require? So she leaned forward again and continued reading Politics and plots in Cairhien. |
 Talents: Cloud Dancing, Healing, Keeping Deceased during the War Avatar artwork © Lee Bogle | |
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| Adena Moren | Jan 20 2008, 03:14 PM Post #2 |
Accepted
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Adena stepped into the library and looked around. She had been here many times over the past eight plus years. Mostly to clean, but this time she was just here. It was bitterly cold outside, and Adena had a precious bit of time to herself. She did not want to spend them in her room or the mess hall, and a novice studying in the library seemed unlikely to be given a chore, so here she was. She was not particularly interested in learning anything, but maybe there would be something that caught her interest. As a lady from a powerful House, and having spent over eight years in novice white, she already knew most things required of novices, but there was always something else to learn. Maybe she could even find something in these vast rooms that would help her break her block. And if she could break her block, she could leave this place. Finally be rid of the place she had longed to get out of for nearly nine years now. Ever since that day she had spoken with that mysterious man in the gardens- soldier or Dedicated she still did not know -her life had been different. She no longer spent all her waking energy hating the Tower. Instead, she accepted novice life as unchangeable, and looked forward to a time when she would no longer live under the rule of the White Tower and the Aes Sedai. She still did not know what she was going to do after she got out of the Tower, but she knew it was worth looking forward to. She walked through the vast library, twice ducking into an asile, pulling a book off the shelf, and pretending to look for where it belonged as Aes Sedai passed. If she looked like she was working in the library, there was even less of a chance she would get sent on a chore than if she were studying. Neither of the passing sisters so much as glanced at her, but better to be safe than sorry- and hurrying across the frozen grounds to deliver a message or fetch a cup of tea. And the Creator help her if that cup of tea was cold when the sister who sent her received it. Finally, after several minutes of walking, she found herself in a remote corner of the library. A section where books on politics were kept. Adena did not understand why they were so far back- it seemed to her that politics were important, and should be kept where they could be more easily reached. Or perhaps all the Aes Sedai who cared to know about politics knew all they needed without visiting the library. In that case, this corner of the library would probably be used by novices and Accepted who needed to study. Adena looked over the shelves until she found a section about the Children of the Light and Amadicia. That might be interesting, what did the Aes Sedai and Asha'man have to say about Amadicia and the Children of the Light? Adena's home. She picked up a book entitled The Throne of Amadicia and flipped it to the title page. It was written several years ago, but not so long that it was completely outdated. The "current" king discussed in this book would be the predecessor to the current monarch. That man had been dead several years before Adena was born, but this book was written toward the end of his reign. Anyway, it would probably be an interesting read. She carried the book to the end of the asile, and headed to where she knew there were a few tables. She had cleaned this particular area often enough during her punishment from attempting to run away that she could accurately describe the grain of the wood in any given table or chair. As she rounded the corner to this small study area, she saw that she would have company. A woman with brown hair sat at one of the tables, carefully reading a large volume. She had a white dress, but hers was that of the Accepted, with bands of color around hem and cuffs. Adena did not recognize the woman, but what difference did that make? All Accepted were to be treated the same way- with respect. But if the woman did not see or speak to her, then Adena did not have anything to worry about. She choose a seat at another table, facing away from the Accepted, and opened her book. She decided to start at the beginning. There was no way she would ever be able to finish the whole thing, but no one place looked any more interesting than another. She skimmed the pages, taking in some of what the author had to say, but just enough to realize the idea the Towers had about Amadicia. It was mostly introduction, giving the basic idea that the Children of the Light held the real power in Amadicia, but that was common knowledge. This author seemed to believe that the King held almost no power, which Adena thought was a bit of an exaggeration, but she continued to read, her mind flitting between interest in this book and a myriad of other things. She was only here to avoid an extra chore by a passing Aes Sedai, Asha'man, or Gaidin after all. |
 Masking the Glow, Folding Light, Inverting | |
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| Farina Aileen | Jan 21 2008, 11:00 AM Post #3 |
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Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah, Lost during the War
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Why do the Cairhienin put up with this? The last chapter had intimately described the Game of Houses, which Farina still found too complex and very ridiculous. It seemed that you couldn't survive in Cairhien if you were an honest and open person. Everyone had a hidden agenda and no one showed or told what they really meant. Farina was sure that she would go mad in such a country. The secretiveness of the Aes Sedai and Asha'man were enough to make her frustrated. She did know that she would have to keep up her own aura of mystery once she gained the shawl, but the Green Aes Sedai as a whole weren't as official and rigid as the rest of Aes Sedai. They could be very blunt sometimes, and most of them didn't hide their smiles. Of course they respected formalities and had their own that could be quite harsh, but they said what they meant and did what they wanted to. There were no conspiracies, no whispering behind others' backs, no insincere smiles or manipulations. At least, it seemed like that when she looked at them with an Accepted's eyes. Who knew what really happened when there were only Aes Sedai against Aes Sedai, with no servants or novices or Accepted to see. Farina shivered at the thought. She hoped that the image she had gotten was real. Farina continued reading and didn't look up when she heard someone advancing. If it was a novice or Soldier, or even an Accepted, she didn't have to do anything about it. If it was an Aes Sedai or Asha'man, though, she could be ordered on some chore if she didn't look too busy with the book. It was rare to send an Accepted to do an ordinary chore, but most of the Brown Aes Sedai still remember the long days she had spent in the library as a punishment for running away, and they weren't afraid to prolong that misery, even though her official punishments had ended years ago. She advanced to the chapter where the noble relations were intricately explained with charts and everything. It was utterly dull, but Farina was pleased to know that they didn't differ too much from other nations. After she was sure that whoever had advanced would have settled down by now, she glanced up briefly, only to see the back of a white dress covered with long black hair. She didn't think more of it, but continued reading. But her concentration didn't last long. She had now gotten used to hours and hours of study, but if she didn't take any breaks, her concentration slipped and she knew that there was no point in reading further. She needed a break, but she still had more to read. So instead of leaving the library, she decided that a little chat with the novice would do for a break. She didn't want to disturb the novice if she was doing an essay or something in a hurry, so instead of just starting a conversation, she first asked, "Do you have a deadline with that?" |
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Talents: Cloud Dancing, Healing, Keeping Deceased during the War Avatar artwork © Lee Bogle | |
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| Adena Moren | Jan 25 2008, 10:38 AM Post #4 |
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Accepted
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Adena read slowly, growing more interested as she read. The author of this book claimed that the Children of the Light had much more power now than they had years ago, that before the monarch had been a puppet, but could perhaps have stood up to his agressors had he truly desired. Now, though, he was barely more than a figurehead, the Children truly ruling the nation through the man. Adena reflected on how that compared with her own childhood. In Amadicia, the Children of the Light made no attempt to hide their power, however she had never thought that they had that much power. She had never heard that the former King of Amadicia had been overly weak, but perhaps that was the case, he simply did not have the willpower or bravery to stand up to the Children. Surely the King now held more power than what this author claimed the Amadician monarchs did. Funny how Adena could have grown up a noble in the nation, and yet the author of this book claimed to know more about the political workings than she did. Well, whether the author was right or wrong- Adena was not completely sure what she believed -it was interesting. She turned back to the book, but had not read another sentence when she heard a voice asking an unspecific someone if they had a deadline. Adena looked up, there were only two people in this little study area, that meant that the Accepted could only have spoken to her. She turned around in her chair to see the dark haired woman looking at her and sighed. She had not really wanted to talk to anyone, but she could hardly tell that to the Accepted. Of course, she could simply say she had a deadline and then perhaps the woman would leave her alone, but for some reason she decided not to. Adena shook her head, "No, to be honest I only came to read so that I could avoid chores." Immediately, she wished she could take that comment back. Some Accepted would take that as an opportunity to assign a chore, there were many of those women who had completely forgotten what it was like to be a novice. Like they already considered themselves Aes Sedai, and thought that novices should always be busy doing something, and reading to avoid chores would not be considered something. Too late now, when will I learn to hold my tongue? She had grown up a lady, for the love of the Light, she had learned how to say only the things that would benefit her, and yet here she was spouting off at the mouth. One small corner whispered that she was not a lady anymore, but she had already accepted that. She may not be a lady, but she had learned as one, she should not forget ingrained habits so easily. She needed to work harder. She had practically poured out her life story to that man in the gardens, and here she was offering up unimportant, but possibly chore-inducing information to Accepted. She waited, resigning herself to the possibility of a task, but hoping that the other woman would be kind. She had spoken to Adena after all, and for someone to simply strike up conversation meant they wanted to talk. No, that was what it would mean from a novice, but from an Accepted, perhaps she was simply looking to hand out a chore to a lazy child. Well, no changing the past, she supposed, but that did not stop her wanting to. |
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Masking the Glow, Folding Light, Inverting | |
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| Farina Aileen | Jan 28 2008, 06:32 AM Post #5 |
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Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah, Lost during the War
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The girl's dark hair swayed as she turned to look at Farina. Farina paid quite a lot of attention to other people's gestures, so she noticed the little sigh the girl gave, even though the novice probably thought that she wouldn't. But it was understandable; novices always had to worry about being given a chore if they were interrupted by someone of higher rank. Or maybe Farina's interruption had been particularly untimely. That dampened Farina's spirit a bit, the girl probably didn't want to embrace an opportunity to chat with an Accepted if she was disappointed about being interrupted. Farina as a novice had jumped at any chance to take a break from her studies as long as it didn't include extra work. But she understood that some novices didn't feel the same. A simple word from the novice that she indeed had a timeline with the book would be enough for Farina to leave her alone. But instead, the girl shook her head. "No, to be honest I only came to read so that I could avoid chores." Farina's slight surprise turned her serenity into a grin. What a careless thing to say. Some Accepted would have jumped at the chance to bully a novice, and with a comment like that, this particular novice was practically asking for a chore. Either she didn't really care if she was handed a chore or not, or she was too new to realise the error of her statement. Or she was just too honest for her own good. Farina was aching to know which of these options applied to the girl. But even though she was honest and quite blunt sometimes, she wasn't blunt with total strangers, even if they were of lower rank. And her aim was to strike up a conversation, not an interrogation. "Good, then you won't be too disappointed if I only want to talk instead of sending you to wash dishes," she said with a playful smile. She hoped that the girl would actually want to talk too instead of just answering Farina's questions because she was obliged to. "I'm Farina." She hoped that the name wouldn't ring any bells with the girl. Her punishment for running away had been far from private, but it didn't mean that absolutely everyone knew about it. Most did, unfortunately. "How long have you been in the Tower?" |
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Talents: Cloud Dancing, Healing, Keeping Deceased during the War Avatar artwork © Lee Bogle | |
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| Adena Moren | Jan 28 2008, 01:34 PM Post #6 |
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Accepted
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Adena saw the Accepted grin when Adena admitted what she was doing. Good, then maybe I won't get a chore. That was certainly good luck. The woman then went on to say that Adena probably would not mind of she simply wanted to talk, instead of sending her to wash dishes. Maybe her own little way of saying that Adena needed to be more careful with what she said. Well, Adena already knew that, but a small part of her appreciated the comment, not to mention the fact that she would not be sent for a chore. The Accepted the introduced herself as Farina. That name definitely rung a bell, although Adena hoped her recognition was not too obvious on her face. Of the few women who ran away, the vast majority chose to do so during their novice years, and much like Adena, most were caught and returned. Farina, however, was something of an anomaly. This woman had suddenly disappeared while she was Accepted. Even stranger, she was not found, Adena was not sure how long she was gone, but suddenly, she had returned to the Tower, apparently of her own volition. It was an almost-unheard of circumstance, and Adena could not believe the woman had returned. Why, if someone successfully got away from this place, would she willingly return? Adena could not very well ask though, even if the woman wanted to talk, few Accepted would take well to being questioned by a novice. The woman brought Adena back to the present, asking how long she had been in the Tower. A long time, she thought ruefully. "Almost nine years," she said simply. If only she could just break her block, then she could finally be rid of this place. She no longer actively hated the Tower, but she certainly did not like it. She looked forward to getting out, it was like a sentence she was serving, but one she could not see the end of. But those thoughts would not do her or anyone else any good. "I'm Adena, by the way," she offered, wondering whether the woman would recognize her name as well. Adena honestly did not know how well-known she was within the Tower. The Mistress of Novices and several other Aes Sedai certainly knew how she felt about the Tower, and what her former opinion of channelers had been, along with Mirazhe. Perhaps if Mirazhe and Farina were friends, this Accepted might know of her. Not that it mattered, what difference did it make? Sitting twisted around on her chair was uncomfortable, not to mention entirely unladylike. That thought came naturally, perhaps she had not forgotten as much of her training as she thought. That did not help with her recent tendancy to spout off at the mouth though, unfortunately. Adena turned around, closed her book, and stood, if this woman wanted to talk, then Adena wanted to be at least somewhat comfortable. She stepped over to the table occupied by the Accepted and set her book down. She gave a small curtsey, it may not be necessary, but no reason to take the chance. "May I sit?" she asked, touching the chair across from Farina. Surely if the woman wanted to chat, she would not mind if Adena sat. Although that was true, Adena thought she should probably wait. Eight years of being rather too disrespectful, Adena had spent the last few months trying to even it out. Not necessarily make up for what she had done, but just be on the careful side, just in case someone had heard of her and was looking for an excuse to punish. All those years spent pushing the limits, and now Adena was realizing that it was not so horrible to show respect to those who (the Tower claimed) had earned it. It made life simpler, that was for sure, and in the case that someone had heard of her, maybe it would give them a bit of a turn. |
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Masking the Glow, Folding Light, Inverting | |
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| Farina Aileen | Feb 1 2008, 06:20 AM Post #7 |
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Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah, Lost during the War
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The girl's expression did change when hearing her name, but Farina was glad that she didn't look shocked or worse, mocking. In the few years after she had returned, even novices had had the guts to show open contempt. Luckily that had subsided once she had served most of her punishment and shown that she was a dedicated student. No novice would decline an order from her now, especially since she was so close to raising. At least she thought she was. Aes Sedai still didn't hide their contempt though, but they weren't too friendly with most Accepted anyway. Once she had the shawl around her shoulders, everything would be alright. Light, I hope so. But the novice didn't say anything about it, and Farina was glad for that. She hated being questioned about her little escapade. It brought back all those memories and besides, she could never tell the truth. She had tried not to make an outright lie to explain it, but she had certainly bended the truth so much that she was worried it would snap once she swore the Oath. "Almost nine years," the novice said to answer Farina's question. Not new, then. Honest or indifferent? It was too early to say. The girl introduced herself as Adena. Farina remembered hearing the name, but didn't try to recall. She wasn't exactly awaiting a friendship, but even a nice conversation was better if it was started without prejudice. It was too late on Adena's part though, but Farina hoped that she wouldn't hold her little incident all those years ago too clearly against her. Adena turned back and closed her book, and then stood up and walked to Farina's table - and curtsied. Farina had tried to open an unofficial atmosphere, but the curtsy was still welcome, especially when she was sure that Adena knew about her running away. Adena was showing a bit more courtesy than the situation demanded, which was not unusual for a novice, but Farina appreciated it all the same. She even asked if she was allowed to sit. "Of course, go ahead," she answered simply, and waited for the girl to get comfortable. "Nine years is a long time," Farina said. "Are you eager to get raised?" It was a useless question, merely something to get the conversation started. Of course every novice was eager to be Accepted. Being a novice was terrible. Being an Accepted was slightly less terrible, and so much closer to being Aes Sedai, so of course every novice aspired to be raised as soon as possible. Farina had spent fourteen long years as a novice, and now a lot more and a lot longer years as an Accepted. And the Light knew that she was eager to get raised. |
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Talents: Cloud Dancing, Healing, Keeping Deceased during the War Avatar artwork © Lee Bogle | |
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| Adena Moren | Feb 3 2008, 10:21 AM Post #8 |
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Accepted
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Farina told Adena she could sit, and she pulled out the chair and made herself comfortable. The woman then mentioned that nine years was a long time, and asked if Adena was eager to be raised. Apparently she did not know of Adena, or not much anyway. Her attempt at running away was not exactly recent, but neither was it so far gone that anyone had forgotten it. Adena wondered what exactly she should say to that, she most certainly was not eager to be raised, she was however eager to get out of this place. She had told herself only a few minutes before that she was going to be more careful about what she said, but what kind of reply could she give? After a few moments, a thought occurred to Adena, she hoped that the woman would not be offended that Adena did not want to stay, though. "I'm very eager to end my time as a novice, but before I can do that, I have to break my block," Adena said. She did not say outright that she wanted to leave, but it would not be hard to figure out. You could be raised to Accepted and still have a block, many women were, but they would not let her leave the Tower until that block was gone. For nine years she had been working toward that goal, and she was no closer now than she had been her first day in the Tower. Adena waited to see what Farina would say to that. Surely the woman would figure out that Adena had no intentions of being Aes Sedai, but that was not what Adena had wanted to conceal. She was pleased with her ability to hide her complete distaste for the Tower, and the fact that for the vast majority of her time here she had considered Aes Sedai to be witches. Yes, she had done a much better job of omitting things better left unsaid this time. Now if she could just make a habit of that again, instead of her more recent tendencies, she would be happy. Perhaps it was because she had not spoken to anyone for almost nine years if she could avoid it, she had been largely silent for the majority of that time. Now she was trying to catch up for all the talking she had not done? What a rediculous thought, she was just caught up in this idea that she did not have to work to hate the Tower, she could just look forward to her future, whatever that might be. Adena looked at the other woman, wondering what she was thinking. She was Accepted, Sealed to the Tower, and would almost certainly become Aes Sedai one day. This woman had run away and come back, Adena did not know why she had bothered to run away in the first place, but the fact that she came back spoke volumes. Maybe she had decided that it was better here than wherever she had gone. Popular rumor said that she had not been caught, but maybe it was not true, maybe she had been caught. Adena did not know why the Aes Sedai would allow that rumor to continue- it made them look less powerful than they could. In fact, Adena would not be surprised if the sisters started a rumor that some girls were caught who really had simply returned on their own, just to make themselves look better. No, Farina must have come back on her own if the Aes Sedai let that idea live for more than a day. Why though? What was so wonderful about the Tower? Why would anyone in their right mind choose to stay here in this stifling, power-hungry, greedy, controling place a moment longer than she had to? |
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Masking the Glow, Folding Light, Inverting | |
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| Farina Aileen | Feb 6 2008, 10:39 AM Post #9 |
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Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah, Lost during the War
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It seemed that Farina's question hadn't been useless after all. Adena's answer revealed a lot more about her than the mere words suggested. Not too honest, then. Adena was saying that she wanted to leave the Tower as soon as possible, that she never wanted to be Aes Sedai, but she hid it behind innocent words. But she must have realized that Farina would figure it out. She wasn't new to the Tower after all, and Farina was so close to being Aes Sedai that even though she appreciated honesty and saying what you meant, she had learned how to fish out hidden meanings. You had to when you tried to understand Aes Sedai. But Farina would be the first to admit that she wasn't even very good at it. Farina lifted an eyebrow, but didn't say anything yet. She wasn't sure what to think of the novice. Farina wanted to be Aes Sedai so badly that she could not understand what kind of arguments a woman could make to justify her want to leave the Tower, not becoming Aes Sedai. Especially so since even the chance of becoming an Aes Sedai was given to so few. She understood if a novice hated the Tower in the beginning with the strict discipline and homesickness and everything, but after nine years? A block would make things more difficult, but amendments had to be made if you wanted to achieve the strength and the power and the influence that came with the shawl and the ring. Farina had made two large sacrifices to attain that position, and this woman was willing to throw the chance away as soon as possible? Unimaginable. Farina noticed how her expression had slipped from the smile back to serenity. She didn't force herself to look less hard, though. Something very like disdain rose up when she looked at the novice. She tried to fight it. She wasn't ready to start hating the novice. "For a woman who doesn't want to be Aes Sedai, you talk very much like one," she said a tad too coolly. She bit her lip for that and tried to look a bit more approachable. "Please, tell me, why do you want to give up? Why don't you want to become one of the most notable and powerful women in the world? I want to understand. Well, I want to try to understand." |
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Talents: Cloud Dancing, Healing, Keeping Deceased during the War Avatar artwork © Lee Bogle | |
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| Adena Moren | Feb 6 2008, 05:04 PM Post #10 |
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Accepted
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The other woman's face made it clear that she was not overly pleased with Adena's response, and that she completely understood what Adena had left unsaid. Her cheery smile slipped slightly, she did not look angry, she simply looked...well she actually looked quite a bit like an Aes Sedai: her face so trained only to show the emotion she chose that it stayed even when she did was not thinking about it. When she spoke, her voice was calm, but certainly not as welcoming and kind as it had been a few moments before. Clearly, despite the fact that this woman had seemed very understanding and welcoming, she was just as illogically loyal to the Tower, and intolerantly unaccepting of anyone who was not as every other Accepted this place housed. This was one of the very reasons she did not like this place: people who decided they knew you after two or three minutes, and who were completely close-minded on nearly every subject about which they were informed. Not that Adena could very well say that to Farina though, the woman may have wanted some company enough to ignore her first stupid comment, but the second would likely earn her some kind of punishment. Again she was faced with not knowing what to say. She had seemed honest when she said she wanted to hear why Adena did not like the Tower, but in order to explain, Adena had to talk about the people who were here- one of which Farina undoubtedly was. She suppressed a sigh, and wondered what she should say. A small part of her wanted to revert back to the way she had been for the greater part of her time here; there were childish remarks and angry insults waiting just below the surface of her mind. But no, that was not her anymore, was it? Now she was committed to looking forward and not back, her life here had nothing to do with that idea that Aes Sedai were Darkfriends, or that she was the noblest lady among the novices and Accepted. She was not sure if that was a completely true fact, but Adena was quite certain that very few people outranked the daughter of a very powerful House. That thought, though she had not considered it for so long, led Adena to a comment that she could perhaps make without incurring punishment. "I don't believe I do speak like an Aes Sedai, I just choose my words carefully," she said, careful to keep a tone of respect in her voice, she was not trying to insult Farina; she was just answering her questions. The fact that this woman ranked a step above her would not have mattered to Adena a year ago, but a lot had changed in the past year, and now Adena realized that a few bands of color and a simple ring were enough to keep Adena treading lightly. Or would she have been so polite to a novice as well? Perhaps not quite as careful, but Adena decided that she would certainly be better to a novice who made that comment now than she would have been a year ago. "In my experience," Adena continued, "Aes Sedai are manipulative and serve others only when it helps them achieve their own ends. They are close-minded, and I think I can do better with my life than having it controlled by what 'the Tower' says is necessary or right. I come from a powerful House, I know what it is to be notable and powerful, my father is exactly that, and I will admit that my time in the Tower has not been in vain. I have learned a lot about the world and myself, and one of the things I have learned is that power and rank are not everything. I want to leave the Tower to do something better with my life, although I don't know what that will be yet." Adena's voice grew stronger as she spoke, and by the end her voice was more confident than she had planned. As she finished speaking, she realized what she said. For the first time, she had voiced what she had learned over the past year, and only now did she realize how much she had changed. For years after coming to the Tower, she had defined herself as a Lady, and had believed that everyone was beneath her. Now, she finally realized that the title "Lady" did not matter as much as she had thought, in that, the Aes Sedai were right. Instead of leaving it at that though, they made themselves the ones who were better than others, which was just as untrue as the belief they had rubbed out of her. Adena mentally shook herself, what was it about this woman or this conversation that had her reflecting so much on how she had been before? What she should be focused on was whether she was making Farina angry, and what sort of punishment she would be earning. She looked at Farina's face, watching for an emotion, and waited. |
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Masking the Glow, Folding Light, Inverting | |
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| Farina Aileen | Feb 8 2008, 02:58 PM Post #11 |
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Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah, Lost during the War
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(OOC: I noticed that you posted to the thread I have as Jetsuade, but I'm busy with school stuff and I figured that this thread is more important at the moment, so if my time is short, I'll post to this one first.) "I don't believe I do speak like an Aes Sedai, I just choose my words carefully," the novice said first. Farina could have pointed out that she hadn't chosen her words very carefully when she had answered Farina's first question, but that wasn't important now. Whatever the girl would say next, it was going to be too interesting for Farina to interrupt now. When the novice finally spoke, Farina listened to her carefully, not interrupting her. Once she had finished, she wondered how to reply. She could outrightly deny each and every point she made, but she was sure that that was not the way to approach the woman. Farina was sure that this wasn't the first time someone had told her why to stay in the Tower. And besides, she tried to act as if she was already bound by the Oath, so she couldn't possibly say that Aes Sedai were not manipulative and egosentric. She would never ever say aloud that they were, but it was hardly a secret. It was just... a fact that people endured to one day be in a position to do the same. No, that wasn't quite right either. Farina didn't mean to be manipulative when she was raised. Well, not too much. Farina wasn't too surprised to hear that the novice was a Lady; there were nobles as well as merchants and peasants and crafsfolk among the initiates of the Tower, but whatever rank they had held meant nothing in the Tower. But it was surprising, though, to hear that she had learned that power wasn't everything. Farina was a peasant herself, and she couldn't possibly claim that she understood the psyche of a noble, but in her experience nobles were at least as greedy for power as commoners, if not more. And being an Aes Sedai was being in power. To Farina personally, it was all about being in power of herself. Being able to do exactly what she wanted. What could be better than that? "Have you ever considered that you could try to change that?" She hoped that she wasn't just repeating something someone else had already told her. But how could she know? She would have to wait for Adena's reply to see. "You could be a different kind of Aes Sedai, not manipulative, not thinking just about your own benefit. As an Aes Sedai, you could do whatever you want. You would have power, but not only over other people, but over yourself, over different choices. Whatever you want to do with your life, you can as an Aes Sedai, even if you couldn't as a noble. That's something to think about, don't you agree?" She waited patiently to hear what the novice had to say about that. |
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Talents: Cloud Dancing, Healing, Keeping Deceased during the War Avatar artwork © Lee Bogle | |
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| Adena Moren | Feb 8 2008, 03:51 PM Post #12 |
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Accepted
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((OOC: :lol: I didn't even know Jetsuade was yours.
 I probably did at one point, but I had forgotten...I was beginning to wonder whether this person had just showed up once, posted, and then disappeared again.
BTW, this is my 100th post :D)) Farina listened to everything Adena said, but clearly Adena's opinion had no bearing on this Accepted. Yes, she was certainly loyal to the Tower, probably to the point that she was blind to the faults of Aes Sedai. When she spoke however, she did not deny what Adena had said. Instead, she spoke right to her argument. She challenged Adena, asking why she did not decide to change that fault by becoming Aes Sedai instead of leaving. Adena thought for a moment. Would it be possible for a single person, one simple Aes Sedai, to change the way Aes Sedai had been for centuries? Adena found it hard to believe that it might be possible, but here this Accepted was asking her for a good reason. She thought for a few moments, what was a real reason a single Aes Sedai could not change that perception? All she would have to do was not be manipulative. Surely honesty could not be that hard for someone bound by the Oath that all Aes Sedai and Asha'man took. She thought for a few moments more, why were Aes Sedai so manipulative in the first place? They wanted to do good for the world, surely they could do good without deceiving others or using their status as their only point of influence. Sisters were renowned for their ability to fill a room with their presence, could they not do that without flouting their rank? Could they be honest? Was that even possible for an Aes Sedai? No, she realized, it was probably not to any great extent. "If I were to become Aes Sedai, and try not to manipulate the people I worked with, what would I accomplish? I would be used and manipulated by every other sister in this Tower. They would all know that I was no good at the Great Game, and I would have a reputation for being honest and true. What sister in her right mind would not use me? In order for an Aes Sedai to be an effective tool for whatever she wishes to achieve, she has to be manipulative. Otherwise, she won't survive long in the Tower, and she won't be successful in anything." Adena left her argument at that. Likely, it would mean nothing to Farina, and the woman may even be able to come back with some response or other, so what did it matter? It was clear that the two would not agree on this matter, Adena had made up her mind and apparently so had Farina. Still, she waited to see what the Accepted said. She was interested in this conversation, not to mention it was far better than chores or classes. She waited, watching the other woman's face. There was not much to see there though, she was good at keeping her face impassive. Adena wondered how long she had been in the Tower, how long she had been Accepted. Probably a long time, most Accepted were not that good at remaining unreadable, even some new Aes Sedai required quite a bit of practice. Well, that gave Farina one small advantage when she became Aes Sedai, one thing that she would not have to work on quite as hard as some. Adena watched her face all the same though, waiting for a sign of what she was thinking about. |
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Masking the Glow, Folding Light, Inverting | |
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| Farina Aileen | Feb 9 2008, 05:05 AM Post #13 |
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Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah, Lost during the War
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(OOC: :lol: Not quite disappeared.
Yay for the 100th post!) Adena didn't answer right away, so Farina was sure that no one else had tried her approach yet. Otherwise Adena would have had an answer ready to shoot. Farina didn't think that she had changed the girl's mind yet, she wasn't that optimistic, but at least she had given her something to think about. Farina would not let a novice leave the Tower if she could help it. Of course, to become Aes Sedai, to become Accepted, you had to want to become Aes Sedai with all your heart. Otherwise you wouldn't survive the Arches. But since the girl had a block, she still had time. She could still change her mind and get raised. Farina was sure that a reluctant novice would not be called to the raising, but if Adena changed her mind before the block was broken and she was trained enough so she was free to leave, she could still become an Aes Sedai. But clearly Farina had not made such an impact on the novice. Her answer was... rather insulting really. Not that the novice would know it of course, but Farina was honest and true, and she would try to remain so as far as possible even as an Aes Sedai. But she was not weak! Farina was sure that her cheeks blushed a bit in anger, but she kept her face smooth. She doesn't know. Farina wasn't through with her yet, so instead of lashing out in anger, she replied calmly. "Being honest is not the same as being weak. And being honest does not mean yielding to others, no questions asked. To me, being honest and not manipulative means knowing exactly what you want, and trying to achieve that without using or harming others in the process. It does not mean being a pawn for other Aes Sedai. It means knowing the Game of Houses, seeing the strings others try to tie on you and avoiding them, but refusing to use others. Knowing the rules isn't the same as playing the game. But I'm definitely not saying that you shouldn't know the rules." Farina hoped that Adena understood what she was trying to say. That was how she would try to live her life as an Aes Sedai. She would be honest, but she would not be manipulated! She was not weak. |
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Talents: Cloud Dancing, Healing, Keeping Deceased during the War Avatar artwork © Lee Bogle | |
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| Adena Moren | Feb 9 2008, 12:30 PM Post #14 |
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Accepted
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The Accepted's countenance stayed smooth, but Adena was not without clues to what the woman was thinking. She blushed red, but Adena could not be sure if it was in anger or perhaps embarrassment at being told such things about her heroes. What woman presumably close to earning her shawl would blush from embarrassment though? Aes Sedai never did that, they were never embarrassed that Adena had heard. Probably anger then. For the love of the Light, she asked me to tell her! She can't be angry with me for telling her what she asked! Adena resigned herself to a punishment all the same though, if she had angered this woman, then Adena's chances were probably done. Accepted, Adena had noticed, did not handle being angered all that well. Perhaps because anger was the hardest to restrain, and therefore they were more displeased when they could not emulate Aes Sedai in this one area. Whatever the reason, it did not really matter, Adena waited for Farina’s reply, fairly certain it would be a doling of punishment. But when Farina spoke, she was calm, and made no mention of a punishment. It would not have been hard to find a reason for chastisement, Farina could say she had been insulting Aes Sedai and that would certainly be sufficient. But no, she chose otherwise. Adena’s case had won no victory however, Farina certainly did not agree, but she carefully explained her opinion. She said that just because one was not manipulative did not necessarily mean she was easy to manipulate, she just chose not to be used or to use other people. Really, Farina reiterated her statement very well in a few words, "Knowing the rules isn't the same as playing the game." Being aware of others trying to manipulate you did not mean that you had to be used by them, and it did not mean that you had to tie those same strings to others. It just meant were aware. Perhaps that was true. Maybe you could be Aes Sedai and neither use others nor be used by others. Perhaps you could even secure a positive reputation for yourself, then others would work with you more willingly. Not to mention, it would be good for the public opinion of the Tower if the only Aes Sedai someone met was honest and tied no strings whatsoever. Then that person would perhaps just think that all those stories were wrong, and he would counter them with his own firsthand account with a sister. Adena tried to think of something to say in reply to Farina’s comments, despite the woman’s good reply, Adena was not prepared to concede defeat just yet. What could she say to that though? Honestly, the woman had left very little room for counterarguments. Even if she could manage to become a sister who did not manipulate others though, she would still be surrounded by manipulation and deceit all the time. But even that was not a very good argument, Adena could see that right away. It would not be good enough to simply say that she did not like the Tower either, Farina would not accept that. Although, what right did this woman have telling her what to think about something? Novices were not given many freedoms, but surely they had the freedom to make judgments for themselves. When did the Aes Sedai take a way a novice’s right to think? She had never heard any mention of that when she came, and surely if they added yet another rule to the long list to which the novices already adhered, they would inform the novices. Anyway, she had to come up with something to say to Farina. She had no desire to give up yet, but what could she say? She suppressed a sigh, and thought for a moment. Suddenly, she decided that Farina should not be the one doing all the questioning. Perhaps Adena could turn things around by just asking a question herself. Or at least she would get some interesting insight into the thoughts of one of the Accepted. “Well, I’ve told you a few reasons why I would rather not become Aes Sedai, but I would like to try to understand why you do want to wear their shawl. I’ve seen many girls who’s only thought is about one day becoming Aes Sedai, and I simply don’t understand it, could you help me?” That comment could be considered a bit defiant, but Adena did not really care, she was truly curious about what Farina would say, why would a woman actually want to become a sister of the White Tower? It was a notion that had always escaped Adena’s understanding, and now she had a perfect opportunity to find the answer. One answer anyway, chances were that if Adena asked fifty Accepted why they wanted to become Aes Sedai, she would get fifty different responses. |
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Masking the Glow, Folding Light, Inverting | |
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| Farina Aileen | Feb 14 2008, 12:15 PM Post #15 |
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Aes Sedai of the Green Ajah, Lost during the War
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(OOC: Sorry it took me a while. Icky school stuff!) The novice was silent for a while. Farina was glad that she had given the woman something to think about again, but she wasn't sure if she had convinced her. Oh well, at least she had tried. The girl was probably just wondering how she would retaliate. Whatever she came up with, Farina was sure that she would have a counter-argument. There was nothing that would convince her that becoming Aes Sedai was something negative. But Adena didn't answer her argument, but asked her why she wanted to become Aes Sedai. It was only fair; Farina had asked Adena why she didn't want to be Aes Sedai, she was well within her rights to ask Farina the opposite. But it still seemed like a ridiculous question. There were thousands of girls out there dreaming of being Aes Sedai. And Farina and Adena were two of the lucky ones who could actually achieve that dream. Wanting to become Aes Sedai was something obvious and natural for Farina, and now she would have to give a reason why she felt so... "I didn't come here to be an Aes Sedai actually, I came to become a Gaidar," she said, hoping that giving some background details would help the novice - and herself - understand her reasoning. She wouldn't tell her everything, oh no, just the basic things that anyone would know. "But once I found out that I could channel, I was excited. I doubted at first, of course," for reasons that she would not share with the novice, though, "but once I learned more, I became sure that I wanted to become Aes Sedai. Power and freedom, which I mentioned before, are a good part of it. Aes Sedai might be bound to the Tower, but they have so many available options that are unreachable to the public. They have power and freedom to decide what they want to do, and to actually do what they want. There is so much one Aes Sedai can accomplish! There is so much I can accomplish as an Aes Sedai." Farina noticed that her voice was getting a bit dreamy. But she had the right to be a bit dreamy, she had been an Accepted for so long and she was so close to wearing the shawl! She couldn't help but dream of the things she would do once she was finally raised. But now was not the time. "I'm not saying that being Aes Sedai has no downfalls whatsoever, but those are mere inconveniences when compared to the possibilities it brings. Compared to the freedom..." Farina shook her head. She was repeating herself. "Of course, saidar is a part of it too. I suppose that you don't have much channeling experience yet, but once your block is broken, you will learn the magnificence of the One Power. I could never dream of giving that up. I hope that's enough for you, because I don't know how to explain it better," she finished, and waited for a response. |
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Talents: Cloud Dancing, Healing, Keeping Deceased during the War Avatar artwork © Lee Bogle | |
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4:57 PM Nov 23
