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Topic Started: Dec 24 2015, 03:47 AM (14 Views)
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So relationip issues are easily resolved. But if they are rooted in past "baggage nike roshe run print uomo ," they often require a deeper look before you and your partner can move forward.


"Archaeology is our voyage to the past, where we discover who we were and therefore who we are." Camille Paglia


Why does man (and woman) look bk?


When an archaeologist locates a previously unknown settlent, hee may spend years excavating, collecting, studying and analyzing artifts and relics to glimpse a reasonable picture of the past. The study of history helps us see how societies sustained themselves, why so survived and others collapsed. It helps us avoid the mistakes of our ancestors and emulate their suesses.


The Archaeological Dig in Therapy


"History is a guide to navigation in perilous tis. History is who we are and why we are the way we are." David Mullough


Why do therapists look bk? How could your past - especially your far away past - possibly influence your current relationip? So would say, "Ridiculous."


Take the example of Joan and Steve:


Joan: You never spend ti with . After work nike roshe flyknit uomo , you e ho, eat dinner and then head to the basent to watch ESPN. I ask you to e upstairs when I go to sleep and you say, "Be there in a minute," but I am usually asleep before you get into bed. I feel so alone every night.


Steve: Don't you understand that after I have worked all day managing a departnt of 15 won, I need so spe, so downti to be alone and just escape from the stress at work?


Joan: Why can't you do that with ? I'm not on your staff, I'm your wife.


Steve: I don't know. Your feelings are so intense and I feel smothered. It's not about you; I just need so "" ti. Alone.


Joan: It's always about you. I feel abandoned every night; doesn't that matter to you?


In counseling nike roshe uomo saldi , the therapist learns that Joan grew up in a family where her parents were always in conflict. After a fight, her father would walk out. Eh ti this happened e felt more and more anxious and worried that he wouldn't e bk. When e was 11, her worst fear ca true.


The therapist also discovers that Steve's father left the ho for another won when Steve was just eight years old. His father divorced his mother and a year later married the "other woman." When his father and new wife had children, Steve's father stopped ing around. He had "another family."


Joan and Steve's current relationip issue is tually rooted in the past - and deeply.


The Power of Then


Thornton Wilder believed that "the Past is not dead," in ft, he wrote, "the Past isn't even Past."


Our past nike blazer mid suede vintage blue , if you think about it, is who we are. Who or what else can we really be - a person is reflective of the pilation and interining of all the events of that person's life - beginning even before "Day One" of our life.


We are often lying to ourselves if we think we can just "get over it and move on." Aording to the burgeoning field of Brain Science and the new uses of interventions such as functional MRIs and PET scans, past events and life experiences are not only carefully and exhaustively inventoried in our feelings, but remain tive. They are physiologically alive and well, and forever asserting themselves in feelings, thinking and decision making. Even more so when we try to repress them. And what makes us even more vulnerable, is that we are substantially unaware that this process is even going on.


Our only real choice here is to bring this material up to consciousness nike blazer fiori , painful and fearful though it may be, and not to "move on" from it, but to chose to move into and through it with courage and expanded awareness, lest our unconscious past control us.


"History, despite its wrenching pain, cannot be unlived, but if fed with courage nike roshe saldi , need not be lived again." Maya Angelou


Your Choice


Will you choose to be courageous enough to confront your fears, your sadness and your pain and bring your history to consciousness, so you can work with it to faion the journey you want take in your life, and in your relationip? If you answered "yes," you are ready to undertake your "Archaeological Dig."


Your Archaeological Dig


Here is our way of conducting an archaeological dig so you will not have to repeat your past:


1) Unearth - Dig up your history consciously and embre it.


2) Under-stand - Or "stand under" it and observe the information you learn about your family history.


3) Unravel - Undo the knots; think about and analyze the aning of what you found and in what ways it blocks you.


4) Unlock - Free yourself from the past; take turns aring your story with your partner, exploring it together and helping one another carry eh other's baggage.


"Those who cannot learn from history are dood to repeat it." George Santayana







Author's Resource Box



Lori Hollander, LCSW-C nike roshe run italia , BCD, is a licensed counselor and co-founder of Relationips Work. Along with her husband and co-therapist, Bob Hollander, LCSW-C, JD, Lori encourages couples to consciously co-create their relationips and hieve a deeper connection. Dive deeper into the topic of Emotional Baggage with Lori and Bobs audio programs An Archaeological Dig Into Your Past and The Parallel Journey.

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