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o_0 News Archive; .....
Topic Started: Dec 31 2004, 02:04 AM (230 Views)
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now it's time for the 43:00 news
With anchormen
Nancy Dru
and Pacula CLone
Susan Foo: weather
I. R. ROXXOR: sports
and Bilbo with the Traffic
and more stuff

Nancy: good after noon, I'm Nancy Dru with todays news
Pacula C.: First story. it appears that drunken pokemon have invaded the town of Los Angelas, raping porn stars, and eating Tom Cruise wannabees, here's Jesus with the info

Jesus (live at L.a): THanks Pac, i'm here live at the Los Angelas PoopClub, and there are Rabid Charmanders harassing and sexually abusing stop signs. Poor signs, and too ur left, we have Pichu, pissing on hookers,
Back to you, Pac.

Pac: uhh... thx
Nancy: a few days ago, pizzas were claimed to be ravaging the town, and we are going to talk to GICI, because she was tehre when it happened.
*some fat guy in a Gici costume*: uhh yeah I was there and stuff.
Nancy: There you have it folks, til this day, we tell you that PIZZAS CAN FLY.

Now here's Susan with the weather/

Susan Foo: WHATAP WHORES! today is bitchn day to go fucking out side and enjoy the damn sun. So fat kids, get off your ass and get your self some excersize *moons everyone* CALI ALL THE WAY!

PAC: uhh.......thx. NOw here's I.R. with the news on sports

I.R: HEY WHSUP! I ROXXORS MEH BOXXORS 13333333333333333337! I PWN j00. anywhoz, in PeeBall the Bitches had a pwnage win over the Bastards ; 361-3. d00d the Bastards wont be making it to the Lax-Bowl this year. li3k bak 2u, PAC.

pac: *sleeps*
Nancy: now here's Bilbo with the traffic


Bilbo: on I95, everybody died, back to u susan.

Nancy: ok, is that all you are gonna say.

Bilbo: uhh.... FRODO ROOLZ

Nancy: ok.....

PAC: okay, we have some more stuffs, apparently, everyones trying to BAN grand THeft Auto due to the complete insanity of the game.
But an odd twist of events. The Grand Theft Auto Game boxes, arent expecting that, so the boxes ate all the children. We go to GTA box here and interview him.

interviewer (salt lake city): so... Mr. ....
Box: call me Vercetti/
interviewer: right, mr Vercetti-
Box: please.. call me tommy
interviewer: ok bitch, why do you think eating people is neccesary?
Box: Well cause we're hungry, RockStar Games told us too, AND, if there are no people to complain, people will still play us.
interviewer: yes but-
box: AND YOU WONT STOP US *eats the interviewer*

Pac: ......uhh well that was cool actually.
Nancy: yes, better than the novels that are oddly enough have the same name as me.
pac: well that's the news for now, thx for watching, tune in tonight for more news.
Nancy: Now here's Seinfeld
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WE INTURPT THIS STUPID PROGRAM FOR AN ANNONCEMENT

pacula clone: good evening folks,
12 year old Gici has been taken away in an armored car today and is facing charges.

Why you ask?

YOU WANT THE TRUTH!?

YOU CANT HANDLE THE TRUTH!!!!

Nancy: but really, She has raped and has been raped by 17 year old Paulus, both will face charges tomorrow on this channel in, JUDGE PRUNY
. While paulus refuses to speak, all gici does is cry. THey say that they both enjoyed their Cybering, but they could be facing charges of sexual harras ment, child molestation, 3 accounts of 2nd degree arson, and fines up to $5, or prison for 642964925 days.
We also have the sex tape avilable at o_0news.com
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Pac: MORE BREAKING NEWS

GICI DOES TAKE DRUGS AND DID CYBER. SHE HAD ALL HER POINTS OUT PROVEN, AND IS THEREOFRE GONNA GET IN TROUBLE
MORE DETAILS HERE http://s4.invisionfree.com/Gamers_Unite_Om...45&#entry753260


AND IN OTHER NEWS: LEON HAS BEEN KIDNAPPED, IF ANYONE FINDS HIM, LET US KNOW WHAT HAPPENDS!!!!!
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Nancy: IN other news, we now know the truth behind the PIzza Ravaging incident. We go live to Jimmi Hendrix Model 5 for more info,

Jimmi: Hey, it appears that the whole pizza thing was just a hoax. THere are no Pizzas, infact, the only thing that was going on was that some guy was throwing pizzas outside the window, NO charages have been put on. But 5 people have been crushed by the pizzas cheezy mass landing on their fluffy heads. Here's an 'eyewitness'.

jimmi: Eye Witness, i heard you were one of the people hurt, what happened.

jhonny: *while talking a bunch of unnecesary hand motioons* It was all like ' WHOAAAAA' and then the pizzas were like ' FFFFFFFFFFFff' and I like look up and stuff, and everyones all like 'FREE PIZZAS' and then it's all like 'THOOF' The pizzas like hit the ground and stuff, and then i'm all like ' OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO' and then i'm all like...hurt.

Jimmi: he's on drugs, back to you Nancy.

Nancy: It's starting to get cold, here's Susan with the news.


Susan *live at madison square garden* WHATAP ASSCRACKS! GUESS WHAT , FOOZ. It's Damn FREEZn, OS PUT ON YO DAMN COAT BEOFRE YOU FUCKN WALK OUT SIDE. IT's ALL SLIPPERY AND SHIT! WE ARE EXPECTING SOME FUCKN WINDCHILLS UP TO DAMN 15 MPH! AND IF THATS NOT ASS ENOUGH, THERE'S A CURRENT DEGREE OF 10 farenheight. BACk TO U, SLUT!/.


Pac: She's Scary/
Susan: now, we have some suprising results in sports, I.R., take it away.


I.R: d0000000000000d, I PWN j00. newaz i li3k was t0tALEH suprised in Grenade Ball, wen da Staplers totally 'bombed' t3h Tornados, 43-23. N li3k t3h Tornados wash doin s00000000000000 gud but n0w, they r totally not makn it 2da playoffs. ROXXXXXXOR

Susan:.............
Pac: now here's Bilbo with the Traffic

Bilbo: MAN! THEre's a friggin 364923642978462398462 Car pile up next to a 7-11. People say they cars were under the influence by the slurpees.
OH yeah, and the toll road blew up too.


PAc: that's all for the news.
Tune in tomorrow with more coverage on War against n00bs.
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pac: in other news; everyone died

NAncy:*puts on ski hat over face* Time to rob a bank..... I mean Mr. Hyde is at it again

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now it's time for the 43:00 news
With anchormen
Nancy Dru
and Pacula CLone
Susan Foo: weather
I. R. ROXXOR: sports
and Bilbo with the Traffic
and more stuff

Pac: good evening folks, i'm Pacula Clone
Nancy: and i'm nancy dru, here for the news.
Pac: Cover story: a man is in the hospital today of getting seriously pwnd, though no word of how he's doing, but doctors are saying, to remove the extreme dose of l33t it'll take alot of money.
Nancy: Yes very sad..... in other news, there has been another pacula sighting
Posted Image. That's him on the right.
THis is a very serious case, and if you have any information, please tell us immediatly at the o_0 channel email topic. All we have as evidence is spam.
Nancy: Yes, and not only that, there are rumors that gosupuru and thing are at 'it' again Posted Image/
Pac: And now's the weather

Susan: Good evening you fags, and you can kiss my ass if you don't believe it's freazing like hell out there. It's like godamn antarctica right now. Everyone's dying.
If the weather persists, you might have to get yourself a coat, and not a shitty one either. I'm talking those big ass fluffy ones. back to you, YOU FUCKING ROBOTS!! *the finger*

pac: still scaring me
Nancy: now here's frodo with the weather.

frodo: Thax nancy, and don't bother coming outside and drive, or your car will most likely slip and fall of a really high brige. Also tere's a 1369 car pile up in I95. So don't go there, and all the Streetlights are broken, so good luck at 4way intersections.

nancy: wow
pac: yeah, good thing I already bought my circumsizer
nancy: your what?
pac: nevermind
nancy: now her'es I.R. with the sports

I.R.: DOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD
OMG OMG OMG! LYK IN T3H PRO WALKING. DAN MARINO IS T3H WINNAGE BEATN DA BRITNEY SPEARS 7429 to lyk 4. N N WAIT! DERES A NU THINGEH TO M4k3 S#URE UR n0t, USIN T3H STERIODS. 1$T OFFENSE: SUSPENSION 4 t3h GAME., 44h 0fenSE: Suspension 4 A YR! AHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHHAHA! 7th OFFENSE. UR GROIN IS O-F-F OFF! SLICE SLICE!
ROXXOR LEAD IN t3h f00tBALL 2dey. T3H 49ers PWND t3h REDSKINS LYK A BAJILLION TA 7. WIT ONLEH TOUCHBACKS!!! PHYSLEH IMPOSBLAL! but S+iLL. ROXXXOR l33t!!!! AHAHHAHAHAHHAHAHHHA

bak2u

nancy: Sylvan learning center man.
pac: or muzzy
nancy: maybe you should get REhooked on phonics.
Nancy: we'll have more news on pacula sightings later, as well as a new story: could the finger lead to a 6month sentance in county jail? More at the 44:00 news. For PAcula CLone, i'm NAncy Dru, good night



Huge Gary Media 2005
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SUPREME OLD THREAD RESSURECTION! BWA HA HA HA HA!!!
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How troublesome...
Supreme old thread closing.
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