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| Know Thy Enemy: Socialists | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Feb 8 2010, 07:26 AM (730 Views) | |
| DragonLegend | Feb 8 2010, 07:26 AM Post #1 |
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Field Marshal
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Socialists seems to be a rising problem in America, so I sent out my crack research staff to find out as much as they could about them. Here are their findings: FUN FACTS ABOUT SOCIALISTS * The first socialist was Thog the Puny, who never hunted but thought he should be in charge of how the kills were distributed. He was brutally clubbed to death by the other cavemen, and no one blamed them. * The name “Socialist” is kinda ironic since they’re not very social on account of everyone hating them. * Much like the marriage of chocolate and peanut butter, socialism was made through the happenstance union of meddlesomeness and uselessness. * The Founding Fathers originally wanted to put the proper punishment for socialists in the Constitution, but decided the phrase “musket to the junk” just wasn’t appropriate for the document. * If you think you see a socialist, report him to the nearest business owner so he can club him to death. * When socialism destroys the country, many terrorist groups will try to claim credit. Hey, if you want credit for it you better start registering Democrat right now, terrorists. * Oh, you’re already on top of that. * Using socialism to help revive a failing economy is like putting angry weasels down your pants because you need some rest. * How do you tell a socialist from a communist? It's what color they burn when you set them on fire. * Socialists have a new weapon — the stimulus. With this, they’ll reward failing businesses with your money. And why won’t that work to help the economy? Capitalism! * If you find yourself surrounded by socialists, don’t panic. Just try to find the first flight out of Europe. * The socialist's main friend is the deadbeat, someone just as lazy and useless as a socialist but who never had the idea to turn that into a political ideology. * Obama was first enchanted by the ideals of socialism when he took an economics class while coked out of his mind. * There are a lot of socialists in the animal kingdom… no wait, not the animal kingdom. What kingdom are viruses in? * In a fight between Aquaman and socialists, Aquaman will end up penniless and on the streets since all his money will have been taken away to pay for the mortgage Black Manta took out knowing full well he couldn’t afford it. * If a socialist bites you, immediately clean and cauterize the wound before you lose half your income to lazy people. * The socialist’s main weaknesses are actual work and ass-kickings. * Oh, and clubs.
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| Lazurath | Feb 8 2010, 08:29 AM Post #2 |
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From a Land Down Under
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| Sefless protector | |
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| DragonLegend | Feb 8 2010, 08:33 AM Post #3 |
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Field Marshal
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I would say that the fact you think jokes should have a point is the point of this joke. |
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| _Иван_ | Feb 8 2010, 10:54 PM Post #4 |
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Level 6 bydlo
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Personally, didn't find them funny. I do like some satirical jokes to my own pollitical ideology (sometimes), but well, I still find your post unfunny. Maybe it's because I don't have a "rightist" way of thinking, but whatever. |
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| Parasky | Feb 8 2010, 11:18 PM Post #5 |
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There is no war in Crimea
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Yea, these aren't funny. Like at all. |
| "The wages of sin is death but so is the salary of virtue, and at least the evil get to go home early on Fridays." - Terry Pratchett, Small Gods | |
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| Ww2nerd | Feb 9 2010, 01:16 AM Post #6 |
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Scion of the Midnight Sun
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I concur. Stick to your day job. Considering my stale brand of "stand up" humour, I think you're in good company
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"There are strange things done in the midnight sun, by the men who moil for gold; the arctic trails have their secret tales that'd make your blood run cold... the Northern Lights have seen queer sights, but the queerest they ever did see... was that night on the marge of Lake LeBarge, that I cremated Sam McGee." - Robert W. Service | |
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| Neitzluber | Feb 9 2010, 04:04 AM Post #7 |
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Field Marshal
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DragonLegend posting jokes about socialism here reminds me of when Jimmy Carter went to Poland and told them Polish jokes. |
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| Lazurath | Feb 9 2010, 12:06 PM Post #8 |
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From a Land Down Under
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'Cause Democrat = Socialist. |
| Sefless protector | |
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| DragonLegend | Feb 9 2010, 04:21 PM Post #9 |
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Field Marshal
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Really? Pretty much every one I've shown this to (I didn't write it, by the way), be they rightist or [moderately] leftist, found it hilarious. |
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| MaxJ | Feb 9 2010, 04:26 PM Post #10 |
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HITM op dokters advies
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Hilarious is such a stupid word, some girl in my class always screams it out loud when a teacher makes a "joke". |
Geschiedenis-Histoire-Geskiedenis-History-Geschichte-Historia
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| DragonLegend | Feb 9 2010, 04:30 PM Post #11 |
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Field Marshal
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You're not supposed to actually say the word when you laugh, Max. |
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| MaxJ | Feb 9 2010, 04:31 PM Post #12 |
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HITM op dokters advies
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Yes I know that, but it is some giant nerd teacher ass licking girl who says the word. |
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| UnknownCow | Feb 9 2010, 04:32 PM Post #13 |
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Existentialist Ninja
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Haha Max, that's really funny to imagine. XD @Dragon, what is, moderately leftist, to you? I ask because in the past there's been nothing but conflict when someone like Laz claims to be one. Also, Sorry ragon, but the humor just doesn't fit this forum very well, I'm no socialist, but it didn't really do anything for me. =/ |
| "Because a girl should have long hair, she should have clean hair; because she should have clean hair, she should not have an unclean home; because she should not have an unclean home, she should have a free and leisured mother; because she should have a free mother, she should not have an usurious landlord; because there should not be a usurious landlord, there should be a redistribution of property; because there should be a redistribution of property, there shall be a revolution." -G. K. Chesterton | |
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| DragonLegend | Feb 9 2010, 04:52 PM Post #14 |
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Field Marshal
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Don't worry, Unknown. I'll post some really funny stuff later. Well, funny in my opinion. ![]() And I'll reply to the moderation part later as well. |
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| DragonLegend | Feb 24 2010, 07:48 PM Post #15 |
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Field Marshal
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Oh yes, I forgot about this. A moderate leftist is a center-leftist, or an independent with leftist leanings. I don't know much about Blue Dogs, but I'm sure many of them are moderates. Actually, the reason Obama, Reid and Pelosi had so much trouble with health care reform is because of Blue infighting: the Progressives vs the Moderates. Don't listen to those who say it was all due to "Republican obstructionism." Democrats have had a majority in the House for a long time, and the Democratic caucus had a filibuster-proof supermajority in the Senate, until Scott Brown was seated. |
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