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This Thanksgiving... Meet Jim Hodges; The Legend of the Gutterball
Topic Started: Nov 8 2004, 09:35 AM (112 Views)
Sureshot
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[align=center]U.F.I and SLACKER MAFIA FILMS PRESENT[/align]
[align=center]a FARRELLY BROTHERS FILM[/align]

INT. BOWLING HEAVEN - LATE NITE

JIM (Will Ferrell) is ready to close up when something catches his eye. It is the same ball from the flashback just sitting there.

JIM
Look at you, just taunting me. You want me to play don't you. Well alright I'll give you the satisfaction.

JIM picks up the ball and walks to the last lane. He turns the lane on.

JIM (CONT'D)
Alright, it's just me and you. Let's see what you got.
He throws the ball down the lane. The bowl goes right into the gutter.

JIM (CONT'D)
Dammit.

He takes the ball off the return. He throws it again, this time with more determination. He hits two pins.

JIM (CONT'D)
Better than nothing.

A shadowy figure appears out of the darkness.

FIGURE
You need to put spin on it.

JIM
Who are you?

FIGURE
The name's Wally Robertson. I'm the night janitor.

JIM
I'm --

WALLY (Chris Walken)
Jim Hodges, I know.

JIM
How do you know?

WALLY
I've heard about the legend.

JIM
What legend?

WALLY
The legend of Gutterball.

JIM looks at the ground disappointed.

WALLY (CONT'D)
Don't worry Jim. I'll teach you to bowl.

WALLY steps to the line. He bowls, perfect strike.

WALLY (CONT'D)
Do you see how I put that spin on the ball. It adds accuracy.
WALLY hands JIM the ball.

WALLY (CONT'D)
Now you try.

JIM steps up. He bowls, it spins too much and goes in to the left gutter.

JIM
Figures.

WALLY
You're forcing it Jim. Just slide your wrist.

JIM steps up again. This time he knocks eight pins down. He starts jumping up and down.

JIM
Yippey! I knock down lots of them.

WALLY
You sure did. You'll never knock these two down though.

JIM
Why do you say that?

WALLY
Because that my friend is the seven-ten split. The pins are too far apart. Give it a try anyway.

JIM throws the ball, to WALLY'S surprise he picks up the spare.

WALLY (CONT'D)
For the love of Dukes of Hazard he got it.
JIM looks at him arrogantly.

WALLY (CONT'D)
Son, you're a natural.

JIM
You really think so.

WALLY looks at his watch.

WALLY
Well I got to get back to work.
(beat)
Before I go you promise me something. You'll meet me at lane fourteen every night at midnight.

JIM
This isn't gay is it?

WALLY
Not if you don't want it to be. I do get quite lonely.

JIM
I'll be here.

WALLY
And the gay stuff?

JIM
I'll pass. Sorry.

JIM walks backward nervously. He then begins to sprint out. He doesn't read the pull sign on the door. He falls flat on his face. WALLY just turns around and continues speaking.

WALLY
(to himself)
Poor smuck.

[align=center]Posted Image[/align]
[align=center]Will Ferrell
Ben Stiller
Jason Lee
Christopher Walken
Jerry Stiller
[/align]
[align=center]WHEN YOU TUCK INTO THE TURKEY THIS THANKSGIVING, SPARE A THOUGHT FOR THOSE IN THE GUTTER[/align]
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