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O freddled gruntbuggly...; Hitchhikers Guide Contest inside!
Topic Started: Oct 29 2005, 01:18 PM (359 Views)
Sureshot
Unregistered

[align=center]O freddled gruntbuggly...
...thy micturations are to me
As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee.
Groop I implore thee,
my foonting turlingdromes.
And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles,
Or I will rend thee in the gobberwards with my blurglecruncheon,
see if I don't!
[/align]

[align=center]Posted Image[/align]

Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe.

The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain.

The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England in the destruction of the planet Earth.


Do you have what it takes to be the worst poet in the known universe? To beat the Vogons, Master Grunthos, and Paula Nancy Millstone at their own game? Well enter Htg's very own 'VOGON POETRY CONTEST' and you could be the lucky winner of one of the following prizes...

1st Prize: A lifetime supply of Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster (worth 500k toward advertising on your films).
Posted Image

2nd Prize: A pet babelfish (worth 100k toward advertising on your films)
Posted Image.

3rd Prize: An Arthur Dent action figure (worth 100k advertising toward your films).
Posted Image

To enter the contest please post your entry in this thread. If you don't know how to begin writing Vogon poetry, use the poem at the top of the page as a guideline. Entries will close on Sunday, November 13th. And the winners will be announced Friday, November 18th.

Good luck, and do your worst!

Sureshot
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Rick Arnold
No Avatar
Director
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
See, see the cruel sky
Marvel at its big cyan depths.
Tell me, Corey do you
Wonder why the giant ape ignores you?
Why its foobly stare
makes you feel tired.
I can tell you, it is
Worried by your callonton facial growth
That looks like
A rotten milk.
What's more, it knows
Your ballocks potting shed
Smells of manure.
Everything under the big cruel sky
Asks why, why do you even bother?
You only charm children.
Hollywood: The Game The Best Hollywood Sim on the web!
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Horton
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Hollywood Star
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
For offers good at Blockbuster stores,
unless specifically stated otherwise on the front of the receipt:
Membership rules apply for rentals.
Coupons may not be exchanged for cash,
sold/transferred,
and must be relinquished at redemption
at a participating store.
Coupons are not valid with other discounts or offers.
One (1) coupon may be redeemed per membership account per day.
Void if lost or stolen.
Recipient responsible for applicable taxes and extended viewing fees.
I'll contribute! I praw-miss!

7518297125638554 expiration date 10/07. You're welcome.
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mc48
Member Avatar
Get a Life
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
It's getting
Hot in herre.
So take off
All your clothes.

I am
Getting so hot.
I want to take
My clothes off.
Hollywood: The Game
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Sureshot
Unregistered

eek... I think i'd rather see a nude Vogon than a dancing nude mc48 :ph43r:
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Sydias
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Producer's Assistant
[ *  * ]
"Ode to the dog sh*t on the bottom of my shoe"

Ahem....*clears throat*

Imploringly I beseech thee
For I'd not dwell upon my gurglesome crumpnect
I have seen the residue left by
saturated frembolts and torridites
My dear, sweet forever
Usurped by mucas filled nasals
Why then cower away
When I read you this poem?
Hollywood the Game Rules! Coolest. Online Game. Ever.
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Ste300
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Producer
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Oh the flampock
As it rests it head on thou shoulder
The dooms embraces my face
As the flamapock flies away
The umpot umpotting
The flampot

The shrieking of whistle
As it travels through space
A space time continuum
As the red develops a brown
As the blue turns black
As the walls fade in
The flampock sounds
It whistles above
It drones it’s umpot
It’s an upots work
An umpot with no sense
No attributes
Umpot.
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Rambosus
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Director
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Undulating pustules burst forth
As warblers in the frockthoid wind
Originate your warty skin
Nurthlike I sluutheez away
O Mugmazzat comptroller driffle on!
Too ethelet for slurgish words
Undulating pustules burst forth
Once again
Hollywood
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Rotor911
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Director
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
I can't resist to post this masterpiece from an anonymous spammer :

Do machine, time. It beat end. Green field, two. Divide got
speed girl exercise, loud. Take time two consider, possible
verb, board. Fine those day might. Many lost reason job lay.
Machine soil lost. Insect music correct instrument yes how.
my Arielle Dombasle page
The record doesn't show it. But I have great belief in myself
Marinelli, after the Thanksgiving game.
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Sureshot
Unregistered

*bump*

Just a reminder that the contest is open to new entries until Nov 13th.
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BB
No Avatar
The Writing Machine
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
My milkshake
Brought no boys to my yard
Hark and say
Thy sadness wells
As things will well.

Lo, the burning tree
Sends smoke to my lungs
And lets me know
My milkshake is lacking

OH SWEET MACHINATIONS OF DOOM
MAY YOU BREAK DOWN
MAY SOCIETY STAND TALL
OH MILKSHAKE!
OH AMERICA--!
Hollywood the Game is awesome.
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Sureshot
Unregistered

This contest was unbelievably hard to judge as you all suck harder than 'Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings' of Greenbridge, Essex, England. The Vogons are nothing compared to you guys.... On to the winners (or losers).

SYDIAS - "Ode to the dog sh*t on the bottom of my shoe"
Sydias wins a lifetime supply of pan-galactic gargleblaster (worth 500k advertising for his films)

RAMBOSUS: "O Mugmazzat comptroller driffle on!"
Rambosus wins a Babelfish pet for his apartment (worth 100k advertising)

RICK ARNOLD: "Why its foobly stare"
Rick wins an Arthur Dent action figure

Congrats to all, now go read, review and vote on the film! :)
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Sydias
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Producer's Assistant
[ *  * ]
w00t! I suck! er...wait...maybe I should't be so proud...
Hollywood the Game Rules! Coolest. Online Game. Ever.
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Rambosus
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Director
[ *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  *  * ]
Wow, I disappear for a couple weeks and I actually won something! And a babel fish, no less!

No on to the question which may expose me as a rube...how, um, exactly do I claim said babel fish? My apartment is looking awfully barren, and I'd love to spruce the place up...
Hollywood
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Sureshot
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See the newest update thread in Hollywood Outskirts.
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