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| O freddled gruntbuggly...; Hitchhikers Guide Contest inside! | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 29 2005, 01:18 PM (359 Views) | |
| Sureshot | Oct 29 2005, 01:18 PM Post #1 |
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[align=center]O freddled gruntbuggly... ...thy micturations are to me As plurdled gabbleblotchits on a lurgid bee. Groop I implore thee, my foonting turlingdromes. And hooptiously drangle me with crinkly bindlewurdles, Or I will rend thee in the gobberwards with my blurglecruncheon, see if I don't! [/align] [align=center] [/align]Vogon poetry is of course the third worst in the Universe. The second worst is that of the Azgoths of Kria. During a recitation by their Poet Master Grunthos the Flatulent of his poem "Ode To A Small Lump of Green Putty I Found In My Armpit One Midsummer Morning" four of his audience died of internal haemorrhaging, and the President of the Mid-Galactic Arts Nobbling Council survived by gnawing one of his own legs off. Grunthos is reported to have been "disappointed" by the poem's reception, and was about to embark on a reading of his twelve-book epic entitled My Favourite Bathtime Gurgles when his own major intestine, in a desperate attempt to save life and civilization, leapt straight up through his neck and throttled his brain. The very worst poetry of all perished along with its creator, Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings of Greenbridge, Essex, England in the destruction of the planet Earth. Do you have what it takes to be the worst poet in the known universe? To beat the Vogons, Master Grunthos, and Paula Nancy Millstone at their own game? Well enter Htg's very own 'VOGON POETRY CONTEST' and you could be the lucky winner of one of the following prizes... 1st Prize: A lifetime supply of Pan-Galactic Gargleblaster (worth 500k toward advertising on your films). ![]() 2nd Prize: A pet babelfish (worth 100k toward advertising on your films) .3rd Prize: An Arthur Dent action figure (worth 100k advertising toward your films). ![]() To enter the contest please post your entry in this thread. If you don't know how to begin writing Vogon poetry, use the poem at the top of the page as a guideline. Entries will close on Sunday, November 13th. And the winners will be announced Friday, November 18th. Good luck, and do your worst! Sureshot |
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| Rick Arnold | Oct 29 2005, 06:00 PM Post #2 |
Director
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See, see the cruel sky Marvel at its big cyan depths. Tell me, Corey do you Wonder why the giant ape ignores you? Why its foobly stare makes you feel tired. I can tell you, it is Worried by your callonton facial growth That looks like A rotten milk. What's more, it knows Your ballocks potting shed Smells of manure. Everything under the big cruel sky Asks why, why do you even bother? You only charm children. |
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| Horton | Oct 29 2005, 07:32 PM Post #3 |
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Hollywood Star
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For offers good at Blockbuster stores, unless specifically stated otherwise on the front of the receipt: Membership rules apply for rentals. Coupons may not be exchanged for cash, sold/transferred, and must be relinquished at redemption at a participating store. Coupons are not valid with other discounts or offers. One (1) coupon may be redeemed per membership account per day. Void if lost or stolen. Recipient responsible for applicable taxes and extended viewing fees. |
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I'll contribute! I praw-miss! 7518297125638554 expiration date 10/07. You're welcome. | |
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| mc48 | Oct 29 2005, 07:40 PM Post #4 |
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Get a Life
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It's getting Hot in herre. So take off All your clothes. I am Getting so hot. I want to take My clothes off. |
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| Sureshot | Oct 29 2005, 07:49 PM Post #5 |
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eek... I think i'd rather see a nude Vogon than a dancing nude mc48 :ph43r: |
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| Sydias | Oct 29 2005, 08:53 PM Post #6 |
Producer's Assistant
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"Ode to the dog sh*t on the bottom of my shoe" Ahem....*clears throat* Imploringly I beseech thee For I'd not dwell upon my gurglesome crumpnect I have seen the residue left by saturated frembolts and torridites My dear, sweet forever Usurped by mucas filled nasals Why then cower away When I read you this poem? |
| Hollywood the Game Rules! Coolest. Online Game. Ever. | |
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| Ste300 | Oct 30 2005, 01:18 PM Post #7 |
Producer
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Oh the flampock As it rests it head on thou shoulder The dooms embraces my face As the flamapock flies away The umpot umpotting The flampot The shrieking of whistle As it travels through space A space time continuum As the red develops a brown As the blue turns black As the walls fade in The flampock sounds It whistles above It drones it’s umpot It’s an upots work An umpot with no sense No attributes Umpot. |
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| Rambosus | Nov 1 2005, 08:23 PM Post #8 |
Director
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Undulating pustules burst forth As warblers in the frockthoid wind Originate your warty skin Nurthlike I sluutheez away O Mugmazzat comptroller driffle on! Too ethelet for slurgish words Undulating pustules burst forth Once again |
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| Rotor911 | Nov 4 2005, 07:30 AM Post #9 |
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Director
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I can't resist to post this masterpiece from an anonymous spammer : Do machine, time. It beat end. Green field, two. Divide got speed girl exercise, loud. Take time two consider, possible verb, board. Fine those day might. Many lost reason job lay. Machine soil lost. Insect music correct instrument yes how. |
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my Arielle Dombasle page The record doesn't show it. But I have great belief in myself Marinelli, after the Thanksgiving game. | |
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| Sureshot | Nov 7 2005, 02:47 PM Post #10 |
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*bump* Just a reminder that the contest is open to new entries until Nov 13th. |
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| BB | Nov 7 2005, 03:05 PM Post #11 |
The Writing Machine
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My milkshake Brought no boys to my yard Hark and say Thy sadness wells As things will well. Lo, the burning tree Sends smoke to my lungs And lets me know My milkshake is lacking OH SWEET MACHINATIONS OF DOOM MAY YOU BREAK DOWN MAY SOCIETY STAND TALL OH MILKSHAKE! OH AMERICA--! |
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| Sureshot | Nov 19 2005, 08:24 AM Post #12 |
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This contest was unbelievably hard to judge as you all suck harder than 'Paula Nancy Millstone Jennings' of Greenbridge, Essex, England. The Vogons are nothing compared to you guys.... On to the winners (or losers). SYDIAS - "Ode to the dog sh*t on the bottom of my shoe" Sydias wins a lifetime supply of pan-galactic gargleblaster (worth 500k advertising for his films) RAMBOSUS: "O Mugmazzat comptroller driffle on!" Rambosus wins a Babelfish pet for his apartment (worth 100k advertising) RICK ARNOLD: "Why its foobly stare" Rick wins an Arthur Dent action figure Congrats to all, now go read, review and vote on the film!
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| Sydias | Nov 22 2005, 12:00 AM Post #13 |
Producer's Assistant
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w00t! I suck! er...wait...maybe I should't be so proud... |
| Hollywood the Game Rules! Coolest. Online Game. Ever. | |
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| Rambosus | Dec 5 2005, 06:01 AM Post #14 |
Director
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Wow, I disappear for a couple weeks and I actually won something! And a babel fish, no less! No on to the question which may expose me as a rube...how, um, exactly do I claim said babel fish? My apartment is looking awfully barren, and I'd love to spruce the place up... |
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| Sureshot | Dec 5 2005, 11:48 AM Post #15 |
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See the newest update thread in Hollywood Outskirts. |
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8:35 PM Jul 10