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I Once Caught a Fish THIS BIG
Topic Started: Jul 29 2008, 10:25 PM (184 Views)
Marlowe
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The M
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From the producer of TALES OF TERROR AND SUSPENSE

JACK (Casey Affleck)
What is it with you and porn?

HANK (Bryan Bishop)
What porn?
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Jack waves his hand over the coffee table.
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JACK
This. All of these magazines. These DVD’s.

HANK
What about them?

JACK
They’re disgusting.

HANK
Of course. That’s what makes ‘em hot.

Posted Image

COMING SOON
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Marlowe
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The M
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From the producer of CRUISIFIED
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Close up of the two bodies spread across the sidewalk among numerous shards of glass and small pools of blood. Bubb (Seth Rogen) and Mike (Bill Hader) walk up and stand over them. Mike opens his cell phone.
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MIKE (INTO PHONE)
It’s done.
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Mike returns the phone to his jacket. He looks at the ground nearby. A large sign advertising Sun Chips is on top of some of the glass.
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MIKE
Sun Chips. Those sound good.

BUBB
Yeah, I haven’t had any of those in a long time.

MIKE
When I had my drug habit, Cheddar Sun Chips were like angel vomit.

BUBB
Sun Chips in general are just great. Food that doubles as sandpaper.

MIKE
I once at three bags in one night.

BUBB
Dude! I didn’t know there was another person who could eat a whole
bag in just one sitting. But three? Fuck!

Posted Image
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Marlowe
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The M
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From the producer of THE DARK SIDE OF THE MOON

EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO HIS OPINION.

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EXT. CAFE - NOON

Four umbrella-covered tables have been placed on the sidewalk in front of this small restaurant. Two customers are eating outside... BRYAN (Vin Diesel in jeans and a wife beater T-shirt) and BRIAN (George Clooney in a sports jacket and slacks). Both men are dining on large stuffed potatoes.
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BRYAN
I’m sorry, but Sin City was gay.

BRIAN
Why would you say that?

BRYAN
Don’t get me wrong. I loved it when it first came out. But the more I
watched it, the more I began to think it was made for virgin fanboys.
Or serial killers.

BRIAN
What about virgin serial killers?

EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO DO WHAT HE WANTS.
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INT. WOOD’S LIQUOR

Although a small store, about any type of liquid inebriant can be found in the tall stacks here. Store owner DEL WOOD (Dick Miller), as mature as the building that he operates in, stands behind a counter, working on a newspaper crossword.
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DEL
You have a job?

HANK (Best Actor Bryan Bishop)
Yeah, but fuck that. I’m quitting.

DEL
Good for you, son.

HANK
You bet. At last I’ll have time to do what I want. Take it easy. Fuck work.

DEL
Good for you.
(pause)
Hey, you know what you should do? Buy one of those Hammie’s
franchises and build it across the street. We need a good sandwich shop
on the block.

HANK
I dunno.

DEL
You don’t like Hammie’s?

HANK
I liked Hammie’s until every dipshit in town ruined it for me.

DEL
What do you mean, son?

HANK
I enjoy ham sandwiches. Not my first choice, but I wouldn't turn one down.
(pause)
Then millions of people in the city discover Hammie’s. They go around
screaming about how great ham sandwiches are, insult you if you don't feel
like a ham sandwich or even if you won't admit it's the best food in the
world, and honor the person who made a ham sandwich as the best chef in
the world.

EVERYONE IS ENTITLED TO RECYCLE CHARACTERS FROM PAST MOVIES.

Posted Image

WHITE POSSUM SCREAM

A Miracle Pictures release of a
Joe Dante film

August 22

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mbroderick
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Get a Life
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My buzz vote is on rapid upward trajectory on course for 10. Kugrats, skizbop!
Fake Movie Reviews
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EmeraldPictures
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Get a Life
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mbroderick,Aug 3 2008
02:41 PM
skizbop!

Ehem.
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