✔ I'm just that ridiculous! وہ
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Digging up old Esmeralda rp posts.
March 20, 2012 - Hotspot
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Well, or we could make it that we have one tablet for the whole series rather than each individual game. Although, I like your idea better. Not all of them have to do anything, you can just recruit them and yeah.. ChacoYeah like how in S1 Esmeralda just sits on her ass and criticizes everyone LOL. Plus, most characters act in war battles. Not to mention that there is stuff not mentioned in the RP that does happen in our heads. Fanfiction can also include stuff not included in RP.
March 20, 2012 You know that this means right? We have to make Esmeralda HILARIOUSLY annoying now. I don't know yet, like cause I like making new characters.. but having 108 for the whole thing would be more controlled. But on the other hand, having new ones would make more sense cause then Viki and Mordova would have to teleport 107 people all the time. I saw 107 because Mordova is one, and she can just do whatever the hell she wants, SHE"S FRIGGING MORDOVA  XD
March 22, 2012 Once yo a$$es get yo a$$es to Antei I'mma complain about how my hoe a$$ don't do nothun, then I'mma complain about how the castle is all run down.
lololol. On a serious note, I think it would be funny to do some kind of sometimes thing with esmeralda about her days at the run down castle XD
March 22 2012, Len's post Mental note to myself stay clear of Esmeralda's room in Antei at the Inn,perhaps she should hook up with Sanchez,her nagging might drive him to an early grave lol.
Perhaps Camille should check Esmeralda's financial record at the Antei Inn,it might be higher then Gremio's bill from Gregminster.
March 22 2012
Esmeralda: Oh boy.. I sure am bored in this little O'l Inn in Bier Blanche! Or what ever the hell the name is, kids these days.. changing the names to random crap you step in... Oh my.. I'm just so bored though! I'd do anything to have some entertainment right about now! Oh I know! An Opal! I LOVE OPALS! I could stare at them for hours! If anyone had one and gave one to me! Well.. I... I would do anything! I would be a librarian, or a doctor.. even a stripper! Just for one opal!
Hotspot March 24th
I have a great idea, when we find out that Sanchez is bad. We'll make it that he has to spend the afternoon with Esmeralda as punishment. XD
Refer to April 13 2013 post, Esmeralda moons Sanchez
March 24, 2012
Esmeralda: So, I waz chillin' like a villain in the inn at Antei... this stupid boy came in and he's like.. "I'm spending the night here!" and I'm like.. "Look at this face! Does it look like I care?! Cause I couldn't give two shits about yo ass!" He be all "You aren't a very nice person!" and I'm like "yeah, well this is an INN AN INN. We are not here to talk, just to rest and sleep, if you want to talk to someone go to a country fair, or a zoo.. where you belong! Ya damn ape!". And that is how my day went... BITCHEZ
March 24, 2012 Clive's story
All the clues I have followed, have lead me here...to this town called Antei. I've met a few kind people, like the friendly boy at the entrance giving the towns name with pride, and the people of the shops. The townspeople, however, are a little stuck up...
Entering the inn, I walk up to a woman (Who I had wrongfully assumed was the chamber-maiden) and said, "I am spending the night here"
Her response was far from polite! "You aren't a very nice person..."
She proceeded to call me an ape!!!!!
How incredibly rude....this woman is insane!
"I don't care for your tone miss!" I then pull my gun out, "I would advise against it!"
"Excuse me" A much more polite, younger and more attractive woman walks up to me, "You...are you Clive?"
"Hmm, that's me."
The other woman (esmeralda) starts yapping on about something, I ignore her.
"I was told when a man with odd clothing and, an equally odd weapon walked in I was to give him this"
I take the letter, which the woman SNATCHES from my hand!
"Bitch! What this be!? Some sort of love note! ONLY I should be receiving love notes!"
Ok, now I'm pissed!!!
She is about to open it, when a blond snatches the letter from her!
"Here you are" she says handing it back.
I remove my hand from my weapon, taking the letter and immediately leaving. "You...woman. You best watch yourself....you should not mess with a member of the Howling Voice Guild! And you...thank you"
The blond says, "The names Mina, and don't mention it!"
March 24 2012
Esmeralda: My ass is so bored! Maybe I'll go hang out with that annoying as boy.. Innkeeper: Oh.. the boy? He just left! Esmeralda: He did..did he? Well, I guess I'll just go stalk his ass!
*Esmeralda leaves Antei and get's attacked by various monsters*
Esmeralda: Those damn monsters don't stand a chance against my SHOE! Good throwing weapons they are!!! But now I have no shoes! Poor little ol me. I'll just buy another in Rikon then! I have more money than The Emperor!
*Esmeralda sees Clive in the distance*
Esmeralda: HEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEY ANNOYING BOY! LET ME COME WITH YOU! MY ASS IS BORED AS FUCK! Clive: Oh god no..
Separate scene
Esmeralda: You betcho ass I'm stalkin' you. I'm bored as hell and I need something to do, then just sit at that stupid inn! By the way, my feet are tired.. I'll go get a room at this inn.
March 24, 2012. Clive, Nash
Clive/Nash
Nash snickers, "Ha...W-Well good luck man!"
"NO! Dont leave me!"
"BYE! Nice meeting you my lady!"
"Nash!" I snap, "I swear to god if you leave I'll shoot you!"
"Storm wouldn't shoot me!" Nash says cockily, walking away. I fire a shot, narrowly missing him!! Everyone around goes silent looking toward us!
"Whoa..." Nash says.
"Get this girl OFF MY TAIL!"
I take off out of the village, leaving Nash to her!
March 24, 2012 Nash
Being the gentlemen he is, Nash takes Emeraldas hand,
"My lady, what happened to your foot ware? You should rest in the inn, I'll pay."
March 24 2012
Esmeralda: So this bitch Clive left me at the inn in Rikon!! I am so furious! But this man named Nash decided to accompany me!!
Esmeralda: Oh.. well..I threw them at mean ol monsters!! They were going to eat me for dessert! Nash: That's awful. I'll pay for a stay at the inn. Esmeralda: Will that be cash or check? Nash: What? Esmeralda: Nothing...Let's just go in the inn now! Nash: Of course my lady.
*later*
Esmeralda: So we got that room and I'm writin' in my diary... DEAR DIARY... today I went out to Rikon to chill with that hoe bag Clive cuz I wuz bored...but you know what he did??! That punk ass bitch Clive left me stranded in Rikon! THAT JERK!! Thankfully this cute ass bitch Nash took me in and payed for a night at the inn!
I met this adorable ass bitch named Lotte, she is so cute.. apparently she lost her cat and she asked me if I had seen it and I was all "BITCH WHY THE HELL WOULD I KNOW WHERE YOUR DAMN CAT IS?!" she was nice, she didn't punch me in the face like most people do when I tell people things..
Maybe when I get home to the inn in Antei, I'll go find bonquisha and Larisha and we can stare at women with bigs lips eat soup!
March 25 2012 Esmeralda: So that cute ass bitch Nash accompanied me back to Antei, what a sweet ass bitch. Nash said he had things to did, so I went around Antei and found Bonquisha and Larisha. The rest of the afternoon the three of us watched women with big lips eat soup... I was so entertained...
Bonquisha: Look at that bitch! Look at her lips! She's definitely the biggest lip bitch in here right now! Esmeralda: No way! That weird ass bitch over there does! Larisha: You bitches are crazy! That guy over there does! Bonquisha: OH MY GOD I HAVE NEVER....... Esmeralda: Holy crap! Larisha! You win this time you skanky ass bitch! Larisha: I..I'm not that skanky..
March 30 2012
Chaco: Uh.. hey.. Let's go to the back for a minute... Elf Sage: Oh.. uh.. okay....? *Chaco uses Rina's technique from Suikoden II* Chaco: *Whispers* So then I.... but also....you....and then....WOOSH! Elf Sage: G-Go...on... Chaco: So of course you'll........and then I'll..... Elf Sage: Uhhhhhhhhhhh...oh......do go on.. Chaco: But then! Elf Sage: What? Chaco: ECSTACY! Elf Sage: Oh my.. hee hee.... Okay okay.. normal price then! You just better keep that promise! *Blushes* Chaco: Wouldn't dream of lying!
Meg: W-What were they talking about Kai? Kai: You don't want to know.. in fact.. I don't want to know either... Meg: Oh....
Different scene
"All of a sudden, you see Esmeralda and her gang in the background running from another mist doll!"
Esmeralda: Get this bitch away from me!! Bonquisha: If it stays still!! I can shoot it! Larisha: Don't worry boss! We'll make sure it doesn't hurt you! Esmeralda: IF IT DOES, YOU'RE PAYING THE MEDICAL BILLS LARISHA!!! Qualasia stop being so damn lazy and help us!! Qualasia: Oh fine! Mist Doll: Why run? I'll get you!
"Another Mist Doll appears"
"Lo Hak and Emil jump out of the bushes to help Esmeralda's group, but esmeralda's group and one of the mist dolls disappear into the plains"
Another post
Esmeralda: DAMMIT BONQUISHA, why didn't you shoot that thing dead?! Is it still after us?! Bonquisha: I don't see it. Larisha: I think that floating pink thing over there may be it! Esmeralda: Oh my damn.. Qaulasia... QAULASIA.. is you asleep!? Get yo ass up! This is no time to be nappin'! Qaulasia: Huh.. what?
Mist: Ha ha ha... come here little worms.. it's time to die! Esmeralda: Oh shit! Is this the end?! Bonquisha: DON'T YOU WORRY ES! *Bonquisha shoots her bazooka at Mist*
"Mist dodges Bonquisha's attack!"
Mist: You call that an attack? Try this on for size!
Larisha: Oh no you don't!
"Larisha comes out of no where and kicks Mist in the face!"
Mist: YOU BITCH! Esmeralda: Oh, you bet she's a bitch! But I'm a bigger one! Qaulasia: At least you admit it.. Esmeralda: HEY!
"Mist goes after Larisha, but then Qaulasia uses her rune"
Qaulasia: The Shredding!
"Mist get's caught by the rune and get's swirled around!"
Esmeralda: Qaulasia, you bitch! Good job! Q-Qaulasia.... "Qaulasia falls asleep after using that spell.." Esmeralda: Get yo ass up!
Mist: Ha Ha Ha.. your attacks have little to no effect! Esmeralda: Oh shit! This is the end! Well... there is one more thing we can do! Bonquisha: Play chess!? Esmeralda: No you stupid bitch! This!
"Esmeralda takes off her shoes and throws them at Mist, but they have no effect!"
Mist: What was that?! *Mist bursts out laughing*
Esmeralda: Oh shit! This is really the end!
???: Oh no you don't!
Mist: Huh? *turns around*
"Mist turns to get pounded by hundreds of knives!"
Mist: What the?! Violettia: Kite rune!
"Hundreds of Shurikens come after Mist!"
Mist: What!? Ahh!! Get them away!!
"Mist tries to run! But the shurikens come right after her!"
Mist: Hey! Stop that! Violettia: I'm just getting started! Hee Hee! *winks*
Esmeralda: Let's get the fuck outta here! Bonquisha: Let's!
*Esmeralda and her gang start running away!*
Esmeralda: We gonna leave this to you! Violettia: Oh?
"Violettia throws two boomerangs!"
"Mist dodges them both! But then she get's hit by them on the return!"
Mist: Why you!
"Mist charges after Violettia, just to be stopped by a breath of ice spell!"
Mist: Huh?! Ice?! Where? Violettia: Good job Water rune!
"Violettia takes out two needles attached to a string and throws them around the ice! The ice disappears and quickly.. Violettia ties up Mist!"
Mist: What is this?!
"Violettia takes two knives and puts them into the ground on her end of the string so Mist doesn't go anywhere!"
Mist: What are you doing?!
"Violettia takes out a bomb! And throws it at Mist!"
Violettia: Here's a present!
"Mist explodes!"
November 15 2012
Cleo: Is everyone here? Tir: Yep! ???: Waaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaaiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiiitttttttttt! Pahn: Where is that annoying voice coming from??? ???: Waaaaaaait you stupid bitchez!! Kai: That voice sounds kind of familiar... Esmeralda: Tir, I'mma come wit chu, Kay? Tir: Uhh... Okay... Esmeralda: Qualaysia, Larisha and Bonquisha, come too! Tir: Sure... Gremio: Okay, now we're off!
*30 minutes later towards Kirov*
Esmeralda: So this BITCH was liek.... "Get away from me! Eeek!" You know what I did? I licked her foot! BAHAHAHAHA! That'll teach that bitch a thing or two about not liking me! Evurrone likes me, I'm like a magnet!!! Pahn: *Whispers* Is she done yet?! Qualaysia: She's told this story before, we're not even half way through yet. Pahn: Just kill me now....
*Later*
Esmeralda: Is this Kirov? Looks lame, but I'mma check it out! Toodles! Bonquisha: I'll go with her to make sure she does not cause trouble. Qaulaysia: *Dramatic* Bonquisha! You're such a brave soul! Bonquisha: *Becomes dramatic* I know... I know...*Pets Qaulaysia*
December 12, 2012
Meanwhile....
Esmeralda: What..... the....hell.....are you talking about?! Melodye: I'm on a search for a rune! It's called a Sound Rune, have you heard of it? Esmeralda: What the fuck is that?! A sound rune?! What the hell?! Bonquisha, what the hell is she talking about?! Bonquisha: Well Es, I think it's a rune... Esmeralda: NO FUCK! What the hell does it do bitch? Melodye: It creates sound. Esmeralda: Well lookie there, the most "Usefull" rune I ever dun heard of, derppy! It makes sound? What the hell?! IT can't do something cool like destroy shit?! What a lame ass rune! Melodye: It's okay if you haven't heard of it before, but if you see it... would you tell me? Esmeralda: Why the hell would I?! I don't do no favors for no one! Melodye: But... Esmeralda: NO BUTTS!! BAHAHAHAHA!! Bonquisha!! I said BUTT!! BAHAHAHAHA!!! What the hell was I talking about again? Okay, right... so where's the restroom in this place?! Melodye: What.. Esmeralda: Well, you see I have to piss and the one thing you don't want me to get is PISSED!!! Melodye: But I don't live here.. Esmeralda: Where the hell is the shitter! Easy question! Melodye: Umm.... Bonquisha: It's okay miss, let's go Esmeralda... we'll find you a bathroom......
A different scene
Qualaysia: It's unusually quiet... Esmeralda's not here. ???: BITCHES I TOLD YOU NOT TO LET ME BUY SO MUCH SHIT! Bonquisha: You tied me to the pole, I couldn't stop you.... Esmeralda: Oh yeah, that was some funny ass shit! HAHAHA! It's funny cause I took a shit before... Mosty: What is that irritating sound? Qaulaysia: Ow... my headache is coming back....
February 8
Kai: Of course, I will come! I'll take Meg and Rasy. Mosty: I'm going too! Pahn: AHH! WHAT THE HELL?! WOULD YOU STOP APPEARING OUT OF NO WHERE?! Mosty: No. Pahn: ...... Kai: Yeah, okay. You can come too Mosty. Mosty: Can we bring Esmeralda, you said there was vampire involved? I want to see her get turned into a vampire for my enjoyment. Kai: Don't say that out loud! No one is supposed to know that yet! Mosty: Oh... Kai: I'm sure Esmeralda is busy...
*Meanwhile in Rikon*
Esmeralda: Can I get a burger with a large soda? Leora: OOOOOH!! Can I have an octopus as my pet? Shop Keep: But this is a hardware store! Esmeralda: DOES IT LOOK LIKE I GIVE A FUCK?! GIVE ME MY BURGER, DRINK AND AN OCTOPUS FOR HER!! Shop Keep: But.....
March 19, 2013
*A Blacksmith shop*
Esmeralda: Can I get an MK 47? Shopkeep: A what? Esmeralda: I read it in a journal once, I want one. Shopkeep: I don't know what that is... Esmeralda: BUT I WANT ONE!!! Shopkeep: BUT WE DON'T HAVE ONE!!! Esmeralda: DO YOU SEE MY FACE?! THIS IS A FACE THAT DOESN'T CARE!! JUST GET IT!!! Shopkeep: But we don't have any! Esmeralda: *Pulls out a giant pair of scissors* Do you see this? This is a giant pair of scissors... now if you want to keep your penis attached to your body, I suggest you get me an MK 47! Shopkeep: ............
March 20 2013, post by Chaco Chaco
"You mis-understand, Luc and I are going to the Dragons Den" I say to Mathiu.
"Oh? I thought you were going after Silver?"
I explain we don't know WHERE Silver is! There is a good chance he's in Gregminster. Wherever he is, Windy knows, and she's going to appear in Seek Valley, thus it makes sense to find Windy there and question her.
"HEY BITCH!"
I turn to see Esmeralda staring at me!
"Ah!" I stumble back from her, "Stay away from me you crazy bitch!"
She gasps, "JUST BECAUSE I tried to cut your penis off with scizzors does not give you a reason to call me a bitch, you BYATCH!"
I pull out my sword, "I will kill you!"
Esmeralda turns to her posse, "Do you BELIEVE this guy?"
I sigh, "What the hell do you want?"
"WHAT DO I WANT? RESPECT! Is that so hard to ask for?!"
I turn away and start walking.
"HEY ASSHOLE! DONT WALK AWAY FROM ME WHILE IM TALKING!!!!"
I walk up to Kai, "I'm going to kill her, I swear to god!"
"Alright" Kai says, not even caring.
"O_O"
Before I can though, Mosty tries to grab her as a captive, but she is slippery and trips over a turtle!
"OWW! GOD DAMN TURTLE!!!"
She kicks the turtle!!
Chaco: TURTLE!
I catch it, and a rune pops out from it's shell.
"Huh? What?"
I hold the rune,
Esmaralda at this point is being chased by Mosty. I don't know if Mosty is trying to kill her, or throw her to the dragons later?
I find Matty and ask him if he wants to join me in going to the Dragon's Den.
"Windy will be there, and a very powerful Crystal Core" I explain to him. "That said, you can come or not. But since Len is gone, I have less allies"
Sage declares, "I'm coming with you for sure Chaco!"
I turn to Tir, "I'm ready when you are"
March 23, 2013
"Esmeralda is running one way, then another way with Larisha and Bonquisha following, followed by monsters. Qaulaysia is standing in the back watching."
Esmeralda: OH MY GOOOOOOOOD!!! GET THESE THINGS AWAY FROM ME!!!! Bonquisha: I'll get them with my bazooka! Larisha: A nice kick should do the trick! Qualaysia: Save your time girls, it's about time Esmeralda got what she deserves... *Sips tea* Esmeralda: WHY AREN'T YOU HELPING QUALAYSIA?!!?!?! Qaulaysia: Why should I? You don't do anything for me. Esmeralda: YOU STUPID BITCH! Qaulaysia: Bonquisha, Larisha just let her get eaten and killed. She treats you guys like crap too. Esmeralda: GET THESE THINGS AWAY FROM ME!!! Larisha: But she's our friend! Qaulaysia: Someone that laughs at you for being poor is not your friend. Esmeralda: BAHAHAHAHA!! You said poor people! Poor people are funny because they're poor and have no money! Qaulaysia: Ugh... next time Mosty tries to kill her, I want in! Or at least send her to a random desert or even the moon!
April 12, 2013 *Meanwhile*
Invading a castle
Esmeralda: This is perfect! I will sneak into Morblahblah castle and beat Tir and Kai to it! Then everyone will worship me for rescuing Viking and Leopold! Bonquisha: I think you mean Len and Viktor. Esmeralda: That's what I said!
Different scene
Esmeralda: It's a good thing that I thought to follow them! That map I bought was useless! Qualaysia: That wasn't a map that you bought, it was a cheeseburger wrapper! Esmeralda: Cheeseburger Wrapper, map, what's the difference?! Qualaysia: How are you still alive?! Larisha: Let's just go in.
Different scene
Esmeralda
"At the entrance"
*6 Magus appear*
Esmeralda: I can take all 2 of you on! Qualaysia: There's 6 of them... Esmeralda: I can take all 6 of you on!
"On Magus shoots a fireball at Esmeralda and makes her fly into oblivion"
Esmeralda: It looks like I'm blasting off agaaaaaaaaain! *Disappears into the sky with a twinkle* Qaulaysia: Damn idiot. Bonquisha: Well, it looks like it's up to us to beat these suckers!
*screen fades*
"Suddenly the door slams open!"
Qaulaysia: GUYS!! It's Esmeralda!! Kai: Qaulaysia? What are you doing here? Qaulaysia: We thought it would be cool to sneak into the mansion, but Esmeralda got blown into the sky and she fell right into Kasim Hasil's meeting room! She'll screw up Mathiu's plans!
#Scene Kasim: It's been a long time, hasn't it Mathiu Silverberg, 3 maybe 4 years? Why did you leave the imperial army? Because of that incident? Mathiu: That is one reason. But more because I dislike myself intensely when I am fighting. Kasim: And yet you joined the liberation army, why don't you come back to us? Kasim: I'd rather not execute you as a traitor. Not a traitor who has sent a spy on me. Mathiu: A spy? Kasim: Yes, this....GIRL! *Kasim dangles Esmeralda by the leg* Mathiu: E-Esmeralda? Esmeralda: BLOODY HELL!! LET ME GO YOU OAF!!! Mathiu: I apologize Kasim, she is not a spy... she is rather an explosive member of the Liberation army, there's no controlling that one. Esmeralda: YOU BET I'M EXPLOSIVE IF YOU DON'T GET THE HELL OFF OF ME! Kasim: Hmm...
"Kasim drops Esmeralda flat on her face"
Esmeralda: OW!
"A soldier runs into the hall"
Soldier: G-General Kasim! W-We're surrounded by the liberation army!
"Esmeralda runs towards Mathiu and sticks her tongue and middle finger at Kasim"
April 14, 2013
"Kai, Chaco, Len, Matty, Kallen, Mosty, Qaulaysia are all hanging out"
Kai: So guys, I had this weird dream last night, the first part was about the Queendom of Falena and the Nagarea Theocracy... I don't remember that one... but the second part was really weird!!! I had a dream that Esmeralda turned into a giant life sized burrito and the only part of her that was still her was her head, she was screaming in agony because we were all eating her... Len: That must have been some dream. Mosty: Damn... that must have been awesome... Chaco: I hate Esmeralda, but that's a bit sick! Qaulaysia: It's deliciously evil. Kai: Which one, the burrito or Esmeralda? Chaco: Why not both! Matty: I hate Esmeralda, but that seems kind or terrible. Kallen: She can't be that bad can she?
*Everyone stares at Kallen*
Qaulaysia: It's terrible, but anything would do to get away from her tyranny. Mosty: I heard about a rune that turns people into food, I think I will go and search for it! *Runs off* Kai: I don't think that exists... she's gone... we should stop her.... Chaco: I don't know.... I hate Esmeralda.... Qaulaysia: I'm lazy and I don't like Esmeralda, so I don't want to... Kai: But we should stop her.... Qaulaysia: I don't want to...
*Meanwhile*
Esmeralda: I would like to sell this! "Throws Leora onto the clerks table" Leora: When I close my eyes, the world goes dark! Esmeralda: Remember Leo, when he buys you, run away and I'll sell you to him again and we will make a fortune! Clerk: Ma'm, I can't buy a person. Esmeralda: WHAT DO YOU MEAN YOU DON'T BUY PEOPLE!?! WHAT DO YOU THINK SLAVES ARE FOR?!?
*Later on*
"Esmeralda is walking around"
Chaco: WHO LET YOU OUT!!! Esmeralda: Oh hey fartface, me and Leora were going to play. Chaco: LEORA! Leora: Porridge! Chaco: Did you let Esmeralda out? Leora: To play! The old ugly man wanted out too, but I told him no cause he's ugly and old ha ha *Snorts*. Chaco: Leora! Do not let Esmeralda out of that prison! Now go play with someone else! Leora: Okay! *Runs off*
"Chaco turns around with his eyes glowing red"
Esmeralda: Oh shit!.............I found a penny! Woo hoo! Chaco: Oh Esmeralda....*Takes out knife*
*Screen Fades*
Esmeralda: Well damn... I'm back in here with the old fart. Sanchez: At least I'm not a crazy loon! Esmeralda: What rhymes with Loon? Moon! *Moons Sanchez* Sanchez: Oh dear god kill me now...
Edited by Hotspot, Oct 5 2014, 04:17 PM.
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