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Amy Quotes!; Figured I had to add some :)
Topic Started: Dec 26 2005, 01:05 AM (543 Views)
n3rd qu33n
Member Avatar
Why's the rum always gone?
IR Asylum Head Nurses
LMAO! Ya think? I was a gnarly 7 year old ;)

Squirrel Nut Zippers and Meredeth Brooks Help with Algebra

Amy: Zoot suit riot! Riot! Nine times negative ten. Zoot suit riot! Pull a comb through your, divided by five, you're in a zoot suit riot! Zootziiiiow! plus thirty-two... Zootzazuaine... Zezuzazezu! Oooh! You got me in a sweeeat! Negative nintey, pull a comb through your coal black hair! divided by five is... zoot suit riot! Equals negative eighteen... I hate the world today! plus thirty-two isss... Try to tell you but you look at me like maybe I'm an angel underneath! equaaaals... fourteen! Take me as I am! Need to check the answer... I'm a bitch! I'm a lover! I'm a child! I'm a mother! YES! I got it right! I'm your hell, I'm your dream, I'm nothing in between, onto problem eighty-nine!
Kaytee: ...How the FUCK did you just get that right while singing...?
*Amy shrugs*: l33t skillz?

The Walk Back To School

*Amy and Becca are walking back to the college from Chopstix Express*
*Amy lights a cigarette as she walks* Oh wait, lets walk on the sidewalk.
Becca: Why?
*Amy blinks* Because there's a Sheriff stopped at the stop light and it might be a bad idea to walk through a gas station while smoking?
Becca: ...Oh... OOOOOOOOOH.

Amy: My backpack's hitting my ass.
Becca: ...WHAT did you just say?!
*Amy blinks*: Uh... My backpack's hitting my ass.
Becca: That's not what I heard?
Amy: What the hell did you hear?
Becca: I'm going to let you ponder it!
Amy: Dude, I just spent an hour and 45 minutes staring at Jesus pictures, my brain is dead. What the hell did you hear?
Becca: It's something you shouldn't have.
Amy: ...What the hell?
Becca: Take the 'acks' off of backpack and the 'ss' from ass.
Amy: ...Pancreas? I've got one of those!
Becca: No no no no... Oh fine. I heard: "My backpack's hitting my penis."
Amy:...*stops walking and stares at Becca* How the HELL DID YOU GET PENIS OUT OF BACKPACK AND ASS?!
Becca: Now you know why I sounded shocked.
Amy: ... *starts walking again* So, you heard... Penass? What the crap is that? A French Penis?
Becca: Could be!
Amy: Yes! I have a French penis! It is a penass! His name is Pierre!
*Becca laughs her ass off*: I love you Amy.
Amy: Really? I find myself retarded sometimes.
<center>~*Seven Deadly Sins ~ Flogging Molly*~
So the years rolled by and several died and left us somewhat reelin’. Johnny strummed his tommy gun, left blastin’ through the ceiling. So what became of the rebels, who sang for you and me? Grapplin’ with their demons in the search of liberty. Suffers who suffer all can swim upon the desert, where Avarice have ravaged all, in spite of good intentions. Don’t fill your mouth with Gluttony, for Pride will surely swell, but nothing’s unforgiven in the four corners of Hell. Envy and its evil twin, it crept in bed with slander. Idiots, they gave advice, but Sloth it gave no answer. Anger kills the human soul with bitter tales of Lust, while Pavlov’s Dogs keep chewin’ on the legs they never trust. But it’s the only life we know, blagards to the bone. So don’t wreck yourself, take an honest grip, for there’s more tales beyond the shore. Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin’ waves, together undivided but forever we’ll be free. So sail away aboard our rig, the moon is full and so are we, we’re Seven Drunken Pirates, we’re the Seven Deadly Sins.
~*~*~
~*Pink Punk Pirate*~
Proud Satanist, an Artist
A Writer, a Nutcase
Your Head Nurse

This is Captain Pinkeh, he’s my First Mate
:capnpinkeh:
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n3rd qu33n
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Why's the rum always gone?
IR Asylum Head Nurses
At the Southside Diner

Waitress: What can I get you to drink?
Me: Coffee.
Dad and Mom: Coffee?
Me: ...Yes. I need coffee.
Waitress: Why's that?
Mom: She went to bed at 8:30 this morning and I woke her up at 10:30.
Waitress: Oooh right! Coffee coming up.

Few minutes later...

Watiress: More coffee and a nap?
Me: *blank stare*
Mom: Amy.
Me: Huh?! Oh... Right. Nap in the coff- I mean, yes please.

Dad: Grandma's problem is she's lonely in a house full of people.
Me: Have you TRIED to talk to that woman?! If I have to listen about her bowel movements or her dead sex life ONE MORE TIME I'm going to freakin' loose it!
Dad: *laughs*
Me: I'm serious! She actually, ACTUALLY asked me how come sex is so weird nowadays! She wanted me to tell her why people need whips and chains! There are just SOME things a grandmother should NEVER tell her granddaughter! ...There are things that parents shouldn't tell their daughter too...
Dad: What? Like the fact your mom and I enjoy orggies.
Me: ...What the Hell is an orggie?
Dad: *looks at me*
Me: ... Do you mean orgy?
Dad: *smirk* Yeah, whatever.
Me: We're stopping this conversation now before my overactive imagination kills me.
Dad: *laughs* TMI?
Me: ...Either you need to stop listening to me, or I need to stop talking in internet lingo.

At The Rockslide Microbrewery and Pub

Rudy: Hey Amy, you know what's the ugliest thing on a woman?
Me: *laughs* What?
Rudy: Your dad.
Me: *blinks... laughs ass off*
Dad: *laughs ass off*
Rudy: *laughs ass off* You like that huh?
Me: *laughing* That's great!

Waitress: All right Dave (Dad), a coke and bourbon, Lori (Mom), a tea, and for you a rootbeer with no ice?
Me: *frowns* Uh...
Kandy: Wrong kid!
Waitress: *looks closer* OH! What do you want?
Me: Rockslide Mudslide, please.
Waitress: That's definitely not a rootbeer with no ice. All right!
Mom: *snorts* Wrong kid is right... this one has piercings.
Dad: And glasses.
Kandy: And can drink alcohol.
Me: And has a clearer complexion.
Kandy: Meeeeeeoooooow!
Me: *smirks* My sister was bothering me last night, she deserved that.

Me: Mmm... I have reached the perfect balance of caffiene and alcohol.
Kandy: What?
Mom: She went to bed at 8:30 this morning.
Kandy: You were up all night?
Me: Heh... Yeah.
Kandy: What on Earth were you doing?
Me: Killing dragons and Zanthia's ex and soon to be again husband while kicking Angel and Makaila's ass.
Kandy: ...
Mom: She was playing on the internet.
Kandy: Oooooookay!
Me: *smirk*

Kandy: So, I've been wondering Amy, why are your patches on your sweatshirt stuck on their with saftey pins?
Rudy: I've been meaning to ask that too.
Me: Well, a number of reasons. I get a new sweatshirt each year, and this way, I won't ruin the patches by sewing them on and off, and its a personal statement.
Mom: That means she can't sew.
Me: ... Umm... Yeah. That's the third reason... I'm an artist! Not a seamstress!
Kandy: Good cover.
Me: *smirk* Thanks.

At the Grocery Store

Me: *singing to KoRn, because I have my mp3 player*
Dad: *grabs onto my hair*
Me: Don't do that! You'll release the demon!
Dad: ...What?
Me: The demonic hair your stupid genetics gave me!
Dad: Muahahahaha!
Me: ... Don't do that ever again.

Mom: David, brussel sprouts are on sale.
Me: EW!
Dad: Mmm... nummy.
Me: Midget cabbage from Hell!
Dad: They're good!
Me: Midget cabbage from Hell!
Dad: You don't know what's good for you.
Me: Midget cabbage from Hell!

Dad: *thumps my shoulder*
Me: Mooom! Dad hit me!
Dad: *pokes my sides*
Me: Mooom! Dad poked me!
Dad: *grabs the back of my neck*
Me: *squeals* Mooom! Dad's got my neck!
Mom: You both need a god damn time out.

Few minutes later...

Me: *whacks Dad*
Dad: Looori! Amy hit me!
Me: ...Buttnutt. You're a buttnutt.

Me: Wait, Grandma can't have garlic right?
Mom: Yeah.
Me: Does that make her a vampire?
Mom: ...*nods*
Me: Makes sense... she does tend to suck at your soul.
Dad: ... *nods*
<center>~*Seven Deadly Sins ~ Flogging Molly*~
So the years rolled by and several died and left us somewhat reelin’. Johnny strummed his tommy gun, left blastin’ through the ceiling. So what became of the rebels, who sang for you and me? Grapplin’ with their demons in the search of liberty. Suffers who suffer all can swim upon the desert, where Avarice have ravaged all, in spite of good intentions. Don’t fill your mouth with Gluttony, for Pride will surely swell, but nothing’s unforgiven in the four corners of Hell. Envy and its evil twin, it crept in bed with slander. Idiots, they gave advice, but Sloth it gave no answer. Anger kills the human soul with bitter tales of Lust, while Pavlov’s Dogs keep chewin’ on the legs they never trust. But it’s the only life we know, blagards to the bone. So don’t wreck yourself, take an honest grip, for there’s more tales beyond the shore. Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin’ waves, together undivided but forever we’ll be free. So sail away aboard our rig, the moon is full and so are we, we’re Seven Drunken Pirates, we’re the Seven Deadly Sins.
~*~*~
~*Pink Punk Pirate*~
Proud Satanist, an Artist
A Writer, a Nutcase
Your Head Nurse

This is Captain Pinkeh, he’s my First Mate
:capnpinkeh:
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RamenSensei
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Bow to your sensei! :o
Damned
:o I can't believe you said that about your grandma!

. . .XD I can't sew either. I get too impatient.

lolol I love that joke! :D :lol: Is the Rudy person a friend of your dad's?
<FONT FACE="Arial"> Bow to your sensei...

m(_._)m


o(o_-) O </font>

<FONT FACE="Webdings"> ß</font>Abbey


Minion army [size0](in the works XD):

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

[size0]Minion Army Agenda: [size0]

1. Steal corndogs
2. World Domination
3. Eat corndogs
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n3rd qu33n
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Why's the rum always gone?
IR Asylum Head Nurses
If you knew my grandmother... You'd agree...

lol Yeah... Rudy and Ron (who's a quiet kinda guy) are Veitnam Vets that my dad knows from the Vetren's Hospital (my dad goes to weekly therapy there). They hang out at the Rockslide Microbrewery and Pub on Maint Street every Saturday, and they bring along Pat - Rudy's wife, Kandy - Ron's wife, and my mom and on occasion, my sister or me. Mainly its my sister, because I'm too lazy on Saturday to get up at 10:30... lol But I've gone the last two times because I've had to go shopping... I'm going again next week because Kandy's got this HUGE thing of Irish Creme for me.
:D

In the summer, the lot of them come over to my house and we spend the day on the porch just drinking, talking, smoking and BBQing. lol I love Kandy to pieces, she's a great person, and there's an on-going joke about the time Ron tried to ride Breeze (one of my horses) and fell off within 5 seconds. hehe
<center>~*Seven Deadly Sins ~ Flogging Molly*~
So the years rolled by and several died and left us somewhat reelin’. Johnny strummed his tommy gun, left blastin’ through the ceiling. So what became of the rebels, who sang for you and me? Grapplin’ with their demons in the search of liberty. Suffers who suffer all can swim upon the desert, where Avarice have ravaged all, in spite of good intentions. Don’t fill your mouth with Gluttony, for Pride will surely swell, but nothing’s unforgiven in the four corners of Hell. Envy and its evil twin, it crept in bed with slander. Idiots, they gave advice, but Sloth it gave no answer. Anger kills the human soul with bitter tales of Lust, while Pavlov’s Dogs keep chewin’ on the legs they never trust. But it’s the only life we know, blagards to the bone. So don’t wreck yourself, take an honest grip, for there’s more tales beyond the shore. Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin’ waves, together undivided but forever we’ll be free. So sail away aboard our rig, the moon is full and so are we, we’re Seven Drunken Pirates, we’re the Seven Deadly Sins.
~*~*~
~*Pink Punk Pirate*~
Proud Satanist, an Artist
A Writer, a Nutcase
Your Head Nurse

This is Captain Pinkeh, he’s my First Mate
:capnpinkeh:
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
RamenSensei
Member Avatar
Bow to your sensei! :o
Damned
That's really cool that he met some friendly people there. Sounds fun! XD Horse. That is probably what would happen if I ever tried your horses.
<FONT FACE="Arial"> Bow to your sensei...

m(_._)m


o(o_-) O </font>

<FONT FACE="Webdings"> ß</font>Abbey


Minion army [size0](in the works XD):

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

[size0]Minion Army Agenda: [size0]

1. Steal corndogs
2. World Domination
3. Eat corndogs
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n3rd qu33n
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Why's the rum always gone?
IR Asylum Head Nurses
These aren't really my quotes... but I overheard them... and my thoughts are with them:

Art History

Dr. Bradley: Here we see Joseph - who is apparently collecting doves, I don't know what that means.
Amy: ...Mm... messy...

Dr. Bradley: Mary is waiting for the priest to finish baptising the Christ-Child... Who is missing his head...
Amy: ...I could say something... but I better not...

Dr. Bradley: A very nice sense of body that we can see under the robes, we can see Mary's uh... her uh... bo... br... her uh... chest...
Amy: Nice save!

Dr. Bradley: And this is uh... a uh... pulpit, not a pulpitllo... or whatever it is I have typed there, I'll have to fix that.
Amy: ...That is one gnarly typo...

Dr. Bradley: Here is Jesus visiting the bishop, he's in a royal robe... which is actually covered in the symbol of the King of France... Don't know what that's about...
Amy: The French are selfish and insane?
<center>~*Seven Deadly Sins ~ Flogging Molly*~
So the years rolled by and several died and left us somewhat reelin’. Johnny strummed his tommy gun, left blastin’ through the ceiling. So what became of the rebels, who sang for you and me? Grapplin’ with their demons in the search of liberty. Suffers who suffer all can swim upon the desert, where Avarice have ravaged all, in spite of good intentions. Don’t fill your mouth with Gluttony, for Pride will surely swell, but nothing’s unforgiven in the four corners of Hell. Envy and its evil twin, it crept in bed with slander. Idiots, they gave advice, but Sloth it gave no answer. Anger kills the human soul with bitter tales of Lust, while Pavlov’s Dogs keep chewin’ on the legs they never trust. But it’s the only life we know, blagards to the bone. So don’t wreck yourself, take an honest grip, for there’s more tales beyond the shore. Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin’ waves, together undivided but forever we’ll be free. So sail away aboard our rig, the moon is full and so are we, we’re Seven Drunken Pirates, we’re the Seven Deadly Sins.
~*~*~
~*Pink Punk Pirate*~
Proud Satanist, an Artist
A Writer, a Nutcase
Your Head Nurse

This is Captain Pinkeh, he’s my First Mate
:capnpinkeh:
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PynkPandah
Member Avatar
We are creatures of shoelace, lost in Purple. The Koala knows.
IR Asylum Head Nurses
PinkPunkPirate,Feb 1 2006
05:13 PM
Amy: The French are selfish and insane?

Don't forget Surrender Monkeys!!!
<center>•*´¨`*•.¸¸. Crystal Gale – Crying in the Rain .¸¸.•*´¨`*•
I'll never let you see, The way my broken heart is hurting me, I've got my pride and I know how to hide, All the sorrow and pain, I'll do my crying in the rain, If I wait for cloudy skies, You won't know the rain from the tears in my eyes, You'll never know that I still love you, So though the heartache remains, I'll do my crying in the rain. Raindrops falling from heaven, Will never wash away my misery, But since we're not together, I'll wait for stormy weather, To hide these tears I hope you'll never see, Someday when my crying’s done, I'm gonna wear a smile and walk in the sun, I may be a fool, But till then, darling, you'll never see me complain, I'll do my crying in the rain.
•*´¨`*•.¸¸. Avril Lavigne – When You’re Gone .¸¸.•*´¨`*•
I always needed time on my own, I never thought I'd need you there when I cry, And the days feel like years when I'm alone, When you're gone, The pieces of my heart are missing you, When you're gone, The face I came to know is missing too, When you're gone, All the words I need to hear to always get me through the day, And make it OK, I miss you. I've never felt this way before, Everything that I do, Reminds me of you, I love the things that you do. When you walk away, I count the steps that you take, Do you see how much I need you right now? We were made for each other, All I ever wanted was for you to know, Everything I do I give my heart and soul, I can hardly breathe, I need to feel you here with me.
•*´¨`*•.¸¸. Shelle H. Mollomini .¸¸.•*´¨`*•
•*´¨`*•.¸¸. Mother of Jack Student of Life .¸¸.•*´¨`*•
•*´¨`*•.¸¸. Nerd Extraordinaire .¸¸.•*´¨`*•
•*´¨`*•.¸¸. Proud member of the Church of Amy .¸¸.•*´¨`*•
•*´¨`*•.¸¸. Proud member of the Church of Gaming .¸¸.•*´¨`*•

<href="http://www.pickle-green.com/egraphics/main.php?id=eggs" target="_blank"><img src="http://www.boomspeed.com/egraphics/kju32.gif" border="0" title="Adopt one today!"></a></center>
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n3rd qu33n
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Why's the rum always gone?
IR Asylum Head Nurses
LMAO! THATS RIGHT! THEY ARE! XD

Kaytee's Car

Amy: I like the no smoking sign above the ashtray.
Gumby: Heh... yeeeah! That's our oxymoron!
Kate: Yeah!
Amy: ...That's not an oxymoron... It's ironic.
Kate and Gumby: Whaaaat?
Amy: An oxymoron is a phrase that contradicts itself, like 'pretty ugly.' The fact that you have a no smoking sign above your ashtray is irony.
Gumby: Duuude... I'm so glad your sister is going to college man! We'd be calling that an oxymoron forever!
Kate: Yeeah! People'd be lookin' at us like we're stupid!
Amy: Right.

(Amy's thoughts: 1. I learned that in high school. 2. So would you two if you hadn't dropped out before 16. 3. The people you carry in this car are too high on meth, speed, coke, and God knows what else to a. care what an oxymoron is, b. know the difference between an oxymoron and irony, and c. you, are too high yourself to even remember we've just had this coversation.)
<center>~*Seven Deadly Sins ~ Flogging Molly*~
So the years rolled by and several died and left us somewhat reelin’. Johnny strummed his tommy gun, left blastin’ through the ceiling. So what became of the rebels, who sang for you and me? Grapplin’ with their demons in the search of liberty. Suffers who suffer all can swim upon the desert, where Avarice have ravaged all, in spite of good intentions. Don’t fill your mouth with Gluttony, for Pride will surely swell, but nothing’s unforgiven in the four corners of Hell. Envy and its evil twin, it crept in bed with slander. Idiots, they gave advice, but Sloth it gave no answer. Anger kills the human soul with bitter tales of Lust, while Pavlov’s Dogs keep chewin’ on the legs they never trust. But it’s the only life we know, blagards to the bone. So don’t wreck yourself, take an honest grip, for there’s more tales beyond the shore. Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin’ waves, together undivided but forever we’ll be free. So sail away aboard our rig, the moon is full and so are we, we’re Seven Drunken Pirates, we’re the Seven Deadly Sins.
~*~*~
~*Pink Punk Pirate*~
Proud Satanist, an Artist
A Writer, a Nutcase
Your Head Nurse

This is Captain Pinkeh, he’s my First Mate
:capnpinkeh:
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n3rd qu33n
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Why's the rum always gone?
IR Asylum Head Nurses
What It Takes

Amy: But yeah, Art History isn't TOO bad, even if my Professor gets us to focus on Mary's boobs.
Becca: Well, you know what they say, (the) Madonna's got the most famous boobs of all!
Amy: *laughs* Yeah! You're right! But you know, its Joseph I feel sorry for. I mean, he's not in very many works of art, and even then, he's off to the corner.
Becca: Well, how would you feel if your girlfriend got pregnant by God?
Amy: *blinks* Uhh... First I'd wonder what I was doing as a lesbian...
Becca: *starts laughing*
Amy: Then I'd wonder what the fuck I was going to tell my family because OBVIOUSLY that kid's not mine!
Becca: *laughs her ass off*
Amy: And then I'd get on my knees and convert to Christianity.
Becca: *still laughing* Is that what it'd take?!
Amy: Me becoming a lesbian and my girlfriend having an emaculate conception? Just about.

Background Noise

Susan (Mana's mom): Is it going to bother you if I type while you work on that problem?
Amy: Nope. Didn't Mana tell you I sleep to heavy metal?
Susan: That's right! This IS Amy we're talking about!
Amy: *grins*
<center>~*Seven Deadly Sins ~ Flogging Molly*~
So the years rolled by and several died and left us somewhat reelin’. Johnny strummed his tommy gun, left blastin’ through the ceiling. So what became of the rebels, who sang for you and me? Grapplin’ with their demons in the search of liberty. Suffers who suffer all can swim upon the desert, where Avarice have ravaged all, in spite of good intentions. Don’t fill your mouth with Gluttony, for Pride will surely swell, but nothing’s unforgiven in the four corners of Hell. Envy and its evil twin, it crept in bed with slander. Idiots, they gave advice, but Sloth it gave no answer. Anger kills the human soul with bitter tales of Lust, while Pavlov’s Dogs keep chewin’ on the legs they never trust. But it’s the only life we know, blagards to the bone. So don’t wreck yourself, take an honest grip, for there’s more tales beyond the shore. Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin’ waves, together undivided but forever we’ll be free. So sail away aboard our rig, the moon is full and so are we, we’re Seven Drunken Pirates, we’re the Seven Deadly Sins.
~*~*~
~*Pink Punk Pirate*~
Proud Satanist, an Artist
A Writer, a Nutcase
Your Head Nurse

This is Captain Pinkeh, he’s my First Mate
:capnpinkeh:
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n3rd qu33n
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Why's the rum always gone?
IR Asylum Head Nurses
This was taken from what I remember of last night. o.O lol Mariah - friend, her brother - Kevin, his fiancee - Bobbi, and I went to Fast Eddy's Sports Bar and Grill to celebrate Kevin's 30th birthday. Everyone but Mariah - who was my designated driver - got absolutely trashed. I had a Tidal Wave - which included Malibu Rum, Blue Curaco, Tequilla and Sweet n' Sour in it, then I had a White Russian that was more Russian than it was White, then I had a Chocolate Cake shot, then I had an Amarette Sour, then I had vodka and cranberry, and about 1/4th of a Three Wise Men. o.O

Table Hockey
Mariah: Let's play table hockey!
Amy: Yeah... You'd wait until I was fucking drunk to play, because you know I'd pwn you sober.
Mariah: Shut up and let's play!
Amy: Otay!
*Amy stands there while Mariah scores* CHEATER! YOU'RE CHEATING!
Mariah: I am not! Get the thing.
*Amy gets the thing, looks at it, walks over to Mariah, and shoves the puck into the goal* Ha! I win!
Mariah: CHEATER!
Amy: I don't cheat!

*After a moment of hitting the puck back and forth, it stops in the middle*
Mariah: Its on your side.
*Amy leans over the table and lays there* Ooooh... it's all virbatey and airy...
Mariah: Get off the table doofus...

The Amaretto Sour
*Amy pokes her lime with a straw* Stoopid lime...
Mariah: Amy, what are you doing?
Amy: I'm trying to drown the lime.
Mariah: But limes don't need to breathe...
Amy: This one does! DIE DIE DIE! *stabs lime until it disappears under the icecubes* Uh oh... Now it can't breathe!
Mariah: Guess you better finish your drink fast so you can save it.
Amy: ... YEAH! *starts sucking down the drink through the straw*

The Limes
*Amy finishes her Amaretto Sour and goes to the bathroom. Comes back and grabs the drink and stares at it for a moment* Omg... where'd this other lime come from?
Mariah: What other lime?
Amy: THAT ONE! *points to the perfect lime sitting on top of the icecubes*
Mariah: Oh, that's a baby from your first lime!
Amy: ...But its bigger than the first one...
Mariah: It's a big baby.
Amy: ...But... There was only one! How come there's two now?! Who's the daddy?!
Mariah: The icecubes.
*Amy stares at the icecubes* Umm... Where are the male parts? *picks up an icecube and stares at it*
*Mariah takes the icecube* See, they're made of sperm cells!
*Amy stares at the icecube* Omg... they're sperm cubes!

Bobbi, Glitter, and the Limes
*Waitress brings Amy her 5th drink*
Amy: YAY! Now I can put the glitter from Riah's purse in the other drink! *puts three pieces of large glitter into the drink of ice and the two limes*
*Mariah laughs, Bobbi comes over*
Amy: OMG! MARIAH! The limes had glitter children!
Bobbi: Whaaat?
*Mariah updates Bobbi on the Lime sex in the drink*
Amy: Omg... The limes incested the glitter...
Bobbi: Omg! They're retard glitter!
Amy: RETARD GLITTER! HAHA!


The Three Wisemen
Mariah: I want to get Kevin the most manly shot you have.
Waitress: That would be a Three Wisemen
Mariah: And what's in that?
Waitress: Why, the wisest men of them all: Jim (Bean), Jack (Daniels, and Jose (Quervo).
Amy: Oh... My... Gawd...

*Waitdress brings it, Kevin takes a sip, and has a mini-seizure. Mariah takes a sip, and has a mini-seizure. Bobbi takes a sip, and has a mini-seizure. Amy stares at it, stares at them, then sips it, and has a mini-seizure*

Bobbi: Take another sip!
Amy: ...OTAY! *Takes a sip, and has a mini-seizure* Gaaaawwwwdddd... that shit is nasty! DAMN IT! Now I have to have another! I can't end with two! *takes a sip, and has another mini-seizure*

*Amy finishes her 5th drink, Bobbi slides over her left over Rum and Coke* Here, help me drink!
Amy: Otay! *helps her drink it, then gets absorbed in the television, and grabs the 'Rum and Coke' and actually grabs the Three Wise Men and takes a BIIIIIG gulp* OH MY FUCKING GOD! *Has a Grand-Mal Seizure* THAT WASN'T RUM AND COKE!
*Bobbi falls and Kevin catches her because they're all drunk and laughing really hard*
Mariah: Iiii think its time to go.

The Next Morning...

The Shark Movie

*Rich dude pulls out a round bomb and sticks it in his pocket*
Dave: (Mariah's Dad) Hey! Is that a bomb in your pocket or are you just happy to see me?

*The d00d in the sub opens and closes his mouth, shudders, sweats, groans, and then it guts to a shot of him moving the joystick*
Amy: ...Oh...
Mariah: ...My...
Amy: ...God...
Dave: HEY! Looks like he's having a good time!

*A yellow submersible goes past the screen, Amy and Mariah look at each other, look back to the sub*
Amy/Mariah: HEY! We all live in a yellow submerine! A yellow submerine! A yellow submerine!
Mici: (Mariah's mom, talking to her mother on the phone) Oh my god, they're singing and David's being onrey. Help me, I think I'm going to kill them all.

*Cut to a helicopter flying over the ocean and the d00d inside with his own joystick*
Amy: Wow. This movie had a great budjet, that's the same joystick the Sub d00d had!
Mariah: And the pilot looks like he's having as much fun with it as the other dude was too!

*This massive shark comes and eats an entire boat, but its so corney, its just a Discovery Channel shark reel with a boat disappearing into it's mouth*
Amy: ...Well... that was realistic...

*These people start jumping off of a luxery yaht into the water*
Dave: Yes! Let's all jump off of the boat and make it look like we're falling!

*These people get into a little life boat*
Amy: Mmm... Its a snack!
Dave: Look! It's a rubber waffer!
*The 'shark' comes up and the lifeboat disappears in it's mouth*
Dave: *Belches*
Mici: DAVID!
Amy/Mariah: *lmao*

*The evil d00d gets on a jet ski and zips away from the yaht, right into the mouth of the shark*
Amy: Omg... these graphics are painful...
Mici: Did you notice that guy was the SAME size as the boat and life boat?
Mariah: Umm... The shark's main power is the ability to change it's size?
Amy: That still doesn't make it any less painful.
<center>~*Seven Deadly Sins ~ Flogging Molly*~
So the years rolled by and several died and left us somewhat reelin’. Johnny strummed his tommy gun, left blastin’ through the ceiling. So what became of the rebels, who sang for you and me? Grapplin’ with their demons in the search of liberty. Suffers who suffer all can swim upon the desert, where Avarice have ravaged all, in spite of good intentions. Don’t fill your mouth with Gluttony, for Pride will surely swell, but nothing’s unforgiven in the four corners of Hell. Envy and its evil twin, it crept in bed with slander. Idiots, they gave advice, but Sloth it gave no answer. Anger kills the human soul with bitter tales of Lust, while Pavlov’s Dogs keep chewin’ on the legs they never trust. But it’s the only life we know, blagards to the bone. So don’t wreck yourself, take an honest grip, for there’s more tales beyond the shore. Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin’ waves, together undivided but forever we’ll be free. So sail away aboard our rig, the moon is full and so are we, we’re Seven Drunken Pirates, we’re the Seven Deadly Sins.
~*~*~
~*Pink Punk Pirate*~
Proud Satanist, an Artist
A Writer, a Nutcase
Your Head Nurse

This is Captain Pinkeh, he’s my First Mate
:capnpinkeh:
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n3rd qu33n
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Why's the rum always gone?
IR Asylum Head Nurses
This... was my rather interesting... day at school... x_X
(Don't forget to read my drunken night too! XD)

Torture
English 112, 8:00am to 9:15am...
Dr. Neal - Very nice, intelligent English professor (woman)
Kathy - Forty year old student, ex-Military Nurse, sits on my right
Crystal - Thirty year old studen, mother of two, sits on my left

Dr. Neal: Torture goes back many centuries, you know. *Glances to Amy and Kathy* I'm talking about the wrack and things like that... *Goes on*
*Amy leans over to Kathy* And Chinese Water Torture... And that sarcoughagus thing with all the spikes... and electrocution... and breaking bones... and removing fingers...
*Kathy giggles*
*Dr. Neal glances to Amy and Kathy again, who have long since stopped giggling, and are now hanging on every word* In the middle ages, torture was very popular. Amy, have you got something you'd like to add?
*What Amy Says* Well... Not really. I mean... I'm just familiar with torture thanks to the Medeval history class I took in High School. I've also seen the Museum of Torture on TV.
*What Amy's Brain Says* Braedon, Zulaya, Angel, Jean... Braedon, Zulaya, Angel, Jean... BRAEDON! ZULAYA! ANGEL! JEAN! ...Need to torture Lindau too...

Dr. Neal: I know where some of you stand on the idea of actually using torture to gain information... *Glances to Amy, Kathy and Crystal, who had been talking about sadism and the ideas of torture, all grin and giggle*

Amy's Personal Torture x_X
After English, on the way to Art History - 9:30am to 10:45am...

*Kathy walks with Amy to the Fine Arts Building* So, I have a question for you. I noticed when you said you were a sadist, you turned a little red.
*Amy blinks* Well... I am a sadist, but it's one thing to say it out loud in the hallway, and another to yell: 'Hey! I'm all for torture Baby!' to my English class - who I have to see for an hour and fifteen minutes every Tuesday and Thursday.
Kathy: Well, yeah, that's understandible. But for my question: I'm still new to this town, and I've got an interest...
Amy: Oh God... She's not thinking of...
Kathy: And I know they have clubs about it and semminars up in Seattle...
Amy: Oh Jesus H. Christ... I think she is...
Kathy: Are there... any... BDSM places here in Grand Junction?
Amy: D'OH! >.< Er... I... don't think there is... I mean, this is a pretty conservative town. I can tell you where the gay bar is, but as for clubs? I... don't know...
Kathy: That's all right! You said you were a sadist and I was just wondering. I have an interest in it, because I'm a sadist too.
Amy: Oh... my... FUCKING... GOD...!

Afterwards...

Amy: Now... what the FUCK did I do that made her ask me about BDSM?! Gothic clothes? Sadist? Being for torture? Oh God...

Art History

Posted Image
Dr. Bradley: Here one of Ghirlandio's more lasting protraits of a Man and his Grandson...
Amy: WOAH! Look at that dude's NOSE! O.O
Dr. Bradley: It's truthful, as we can see the uh... skin disease on his nose - which is one of the first things we notice.
Amy: Ah... Yeah... O.O

Posted Image
Dr. Bradley: We've all seen this, this is the Birth of Venus by Bottichelli.
Student A: Where is the original of this?
Dr. Bradley: Ah, this... this is in Florence. Yeah, it's never left Florence.
Student B: I've seen it in person, very beautiful. I thought an umbrella with it on it.
Dr. Bradley: That's the way to go! Can't afford the real thing - buy an umbrella!
<center>~*Seven Deadly Sins ~ Flogging Molly*~
So the years rolled by and several died and left us somewhat reelin’. Johnny strummed his tommy gun, left blastin’ through the ceiling. So what became of the rebels, who sang for you and me? Grapplin’ with their demons in the search of liberty. Suffers who suffer all can swim upon the desert, where Avarice have ravaged all, in spite of good intentions. Don’t fill your mouth with Gluttony, for Pride will surely swell, but nothing’s unforgiven in the four corners of Hell. Envy and its evil twin, it crept in bed with slander. Idiots, they gave advice, but Sloth it gave no answer. Anger kills the human soul with bitter tales of Lust, while Pavlov’s Dogs keep chewin’ on the legs they never trust. But it’s the only life we know, blagards to the bone. So don’t wreck yourself, take an honest grip, for there’s more tales beyond the shore. Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin’ waves, together undivided but forever we’ll be free. So sail away aboard our rig, the moon is full and so are we, we’re Seven Drunken Pirates, we’re the Seven Deadly Sins.
~*~*~
~*Pink Punk Pirate*~
Proud Satanist, an Artist
A Writer, a Nutcase
Your Head Nurse

This is Captain Pinkeh, he’s my First Mate
:capnpinkeh:
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RamenSensei
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Bow to your sensei! :o
Damned
Wow, we were both thinking about Lindau in class! *wrote some things about Lindau in Latin yesterday*

XD

. . .She actually asked you. . .wow. . .scary. XD :huh:

Duude I want an umbrella like that. . .

Don't know how well it would go on campus though. . .but COOL.
<FONT FACE="Arial"> Bow to your sensei...

m(_._)m


o(o_-) O </font>

<FONT FACE="Webdings"> ß</font>Abbey


Minion army [size0](in the works XD):

Posted ImagePosted ImagePosted Image

[size0]Minion Army Agenda: [size0]

1. Steal corndogs
2. World Domination
3. Eat corndogs
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n3rd qu33n
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Why's the rum always gone?
IR Asylum Head Nurses
So, in my English class, we did some free writing. This was what my sad, sad brain made in 7 minutes:

"I don't know what to say but, I do think I'm insane. I have all these different characters & personas in my mind they don't really speak to me but they command me. They take over when I write & when I RP. They just decide what they would do, I do no real thinking. Wow, that makes no sense there Amy. Yeah well, shut the Hell up. Omg, I'm talking to myself on a piece of paper in my English class - I really AM Insane! Or its the fact that I've had WAY TOO MUCH coffee this morning; Mmm... coffee makes the Amy more crazy than she really is, woah, I so just fell into third person there. Omg, are we done yet? My hand is getting tired and Crystal next to me is like, writing faster than I can type, Mad skillz! I can't believe I'm using internet lingo in this thing, maybe my brain has been kidnapped by cyberspace... FLYING KITTENS OF DOOM... Wtf was that? Shit, I can't think of anything else to write... maybe I'll sing a song. But what song? WAKE ME 'TIL THE MORNING AFTER! Mmm... Chester Bennington from Linkin Park is not only hawt but sounds good too."

Now, these are quotes from my class that soon followed:

Dr. Neal: Now, you were supposed to write whatever came to your mind with no reguard to puncuation. How many of you used periods?
*Crystal, Amy, Sadara, Lindsay and Kathy raise their hands*
Dr. Neal: Really? I didn't use a single period in mine. Now many of you used comas?
*Crystal, Amy, Sadara and Kathy raise their hands*
Dr. Neal: ...Ah huh...How many of you used question marks or exclamation marks?
*Crystal, Amy and Kathy raise their hands*
Dr. Neal: ...Okay... How many of you used a semi colon or a dash?
*Amy and Kathy raise their hands*
Dr. Neal: Honestly! You weren't supposed to think about puncuation!
Kathy: I can't help it if my thinking involves grammar!
Amy: Come here and read it, you can tell by my horrid grammar that there was no thinking involved. o.O

Dr. Neal: How many of you used shorthand?
*Sadara, Crystal, Amy and Kathy raise their hands*
Dr. Neal: What kind of short hand, uuh... Amy?
Amy: Er... I used... internet lingo.
Dr. Neal: You mean like 'lol'?
Amy: Er... no... I mean like... 'wtf.'
*Class erupts into laughter*
*Dr. Neal laughs* Well, we all know what that means I'm sure.
Kathy: Yeah! It means 'Where's the fudge!'
Amy: Not in my corner of cyberspace it doesn't.
*Class and professor laugh their asses off*

Dr. Neal: Jose, what did you do when you ran across a moment when you couldn't think?
Jose: Uh... I just... I just wrote down... 'tweedle dee, tweedle doo'
*Class laughs*
Dr. Neal: That works! Anyone else use music or something in theirs?
*Amy raises her hand*
Dr. Neal: What did you put, Amy?
Amy: I started singing a Linkin Park song, then I forgot the rest of the lyrics and decided to comment on Chester Bennington's... ah... talents.
*Kathy leans over and looks at Amy's paper* She said he's 'hawt.'
Amy: x_X Thanks d00d.
*Class laughs*
<center>~*Seven Deadly Sins ~ Flogging Molly*~
So the years rolled by and several died and left us somewhat reelin’. Johnny strummed his tommy gun, left blastin’ through the ceiling. So what became of the rebels, who sang for you and me? Grapplin’ with their demons in the search of liberty. Suffers who suffer all can swim upon the desert, where Avarice have ravaged all, in spite of good intentions. Don’t fill your mouth with Gluttony, for Pride will surely swell, but nothing’s unforgiven in the four corners of Hell. Envy and its evil twin, it crept in bed with slander. Idiots, they gave advice, but Sloth it gave no answer. Anger kills the human soul with bitter tales of Lust, while Pavlov’s Dogs keep chewin’ on the legs they never trust. But it’s the only life we know, blagards to the bone. So don’t wreck yourself, take an honest grip, for there’s more tales beyond the shore. Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin’ waves, together undivided but forever we’ll be free. So sail away aboard our rig, the moon is full and so are we, we’re Seven Drunken Pirates, we’re the Seven Deadly Sins.
~*~*~
~*Pink Punk Pirate*~
Proud Satanist, an Artist
A Writer, a Nutcase
Your Head Nurse

This is Captain Pinkeh, he’s my First Mate
:capnpinkeh:
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n3rd qu33n
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Why's the rum always gone?
IR Asylum Head Nurses
WARNING! THE FOLLOWING CONTAINS SOME MILD RELIGIOUS HUMOR If you can't take a joke and can't realize that this comes from me, who considers you people to be some of my best friends, then I'm not only really disappointed that you think I seriously mean this shit, I'm also irritated that you can't take a freakin' joke.

This is what goes through Amy's mind when she's studying for Art History...
...While listening to "Lucifer" by E Nomine x_X

Posted Image
Bosch, "The Garden of Earthly Delights"
Amy's Random Note: "Let's see... Now I can show people an altarpiece where people are floating in bubbles, riding ducks and stepping on fish..."

Posted Image
Donatello, "Habbakuk Prophet (Zuccone)"
Amy's Random Note: "The Italians call this 'Zuccone' because he's bald, it means 'melonhead' or something like that - my Professor wasn't sure. But! In one of the Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtle movies, one of the Turtles calls Donatello 'Zuccone.'" XD

Posted Image
Masaccio, "Expulsion of Adam and Eve from Eden"
Amy's Random Note: "Thanks to Mitch's ass weed/butt ganga, I snorted my tea when I saw this."

Posted Image
Unknown Artist, found the Mausoleum of Galla Placidia, Ravenna, Italy (Dated to the 5th century)
Amy's Random Note: "How many of ya knew that when Christianity started, Jesus didn't have a beard?" XD

Posted Image
Del Castagno, "The Last Supper"
Amy's Random Note: "...It looks like Jesus, Peter and Judas are getting ready to play a prank on John..."
*John* Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...
*Jesus* I'm gonna tug on his mullet!
*Judas* Yeah! Do it!
*Peter* He's gonna pwn ya'll when he wakes up...
"Okay... I'm done... LMAO"

Posted Image
Mantegna, Ceiling fresco, Camera delgli Sposi, Mantua, Italy (The Newlywed Room)
Amy's Random Note: "I swear to God, this is exactly what my professor said: 'This... This was the early version of a mirrior above the bed... I-I guess... Since... it's over the bed... in the Newlywed Room, which doesn't make much sense to me... I mean, you look up at that, and you kind of wonder if they're... they're going to unirate on your head... or something.'"

Posted Image
Leonardo Da Vinci, "Virgin of the Rocks" aka "Madonna of the Rocks"
Amy's Random Note: "When I first saw this, I read 'Virgin on the Rocks'... And now I can't get that phrase out of my brain..."

Posted Image
Gossaert, "Neptune and Amphitite"
Amy's Random Note: "...OMFG! SHE GAVE NEPTUNE AN AFRO!"
Conversation that ensued with an English friend after showing her this picture:
Amy: omg... neptune had an afro...
Rakie: lmao! was he a soul brother?
Amy: ... He's got his Neptune Jr. Incased in a sea shell, I don't think so o.O
Rakie: awh.. maybe he just likes to disco
Amy: Evvvidently O.O ...EW! I have images of him dancing to disco like that in my brain now!
Rakie: haha unnatractive?
Amy: More like really freakin' scary o.O
Rakie: hahaha awww
Amy: Weeird... I am so gonna show you the disco neptune... http://www.wga.hu/art/g/gossaert/2/neptune.jpg THERE! lol Picture THAT dancing to Saturday Night Fever!
Rakie: AHHAAHa!!! Oh man!!! :')
Amy: LOL Art can be so amusing...
Rakie: Hells Yeah!


CAN THIS BE ZANTHIA AND GUION'S PALACE?! HUH?! CAN IT?! CAN IT?! PUHLEEEEAAASE?! O.O
Or... Until I find another one to obsess over... o.O


Posted Image
Posted Image
Posted Image
The Chateau de Chambord!!!
<center>~*Seven Deadly Sins ~ Flogging Molly*~
So the years rolled by and several died and left us somewhat reelin’. Johnny strummed his tommy gun, left blastin’ through the ceiling. So what became of the rebels, who sang for you and me? Grapplin’ with their demons in the search of liberty. Suffers who suffer all can swim upon the desert, where Avarice have ravaged all, in spite of good intentions. Don’t fill your mouth with Gluttony, for Pride will surely swell, but nothing’s unforgiven in the four corners of Hell. Envy and its evil twin, it crept in bed with slander. Idiots, they gave advice, but Sloth it gave no answer. Anger kills the human soul with bitter tales of Lust, while Pavlov’s Dogs keep chewin’ on the legs they never trust. But it’s the only life we know, blagards to the bone. So don’t wreck yourself, take an honest grip, for there’s more tales beyond the shore. Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin’ waves, together undivided but forever we’ll be free. So sail away aboard our rig, the moon is full and so are we, we’re Seven Drunken Pirates, we’re the Seven Deadly Sins.
~*~*~
~*Pink Punk Pirate*~
Proud Satanist, an Artist
A Writer, a Nutcase
Your Head Nurse

This is Captain Pinkeh, he’s my First Mate
:capnpinkeh:
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n3rd qu33n
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Why's the rum always gone?
IR Asylum Head Nurses
*I watch my dad rig up a light to the hood of his car while mom readies a bowl filled with water and baking soda*
Me: Whatcha doin'?
Mom: Helping your father clean off the battery cables?
Me: Is it gonna explode?
Dad: No...
Me: Mm...
*Leans over the edge of the truck and watches the baking soda boil*
Me: That's an interesting shade of blue...
Dad: Yeah... That's what happens when it gets dirty like this.
Me: Ooooh...
Dad: Okay Lori, start her up again.
Me: Is it going to explode?
Dad: Wtf is your issue with exploding?
Me: I want time to stand back? o.O
*Mom gets in, puts her foot on the clutch and tries to start the truck, it doesn't start*
Dad: Wait, Lori... You're pushing on the break...
*I blink*
Dad: Have you been pushing on the clutch this entire time?!
Mom: I asked you if the clutch was the one in the middle!
Me: How many times have you guys tried to start this thing now?
Dad: Five fucking times and your mother's been pushing on the break!
*I laugh my fucking ass off*
Mom: ...YOU SAID THAT WAS THE CLUTCH!
Dad: It doesn't even LOOK like a clutch! I just went all the way to Delta for nothing! We bought a new battery for nothing! We just cleaned every battery cable in the engine for nothing! *laughs his fucking ass off*
Me: OH MY GOD! THAT'S FREAKIN' HILARIOUS!

...And I'm related to this woman... o.O

Becca: You know Amy, you could become a Universalist missonary.
*I look over the paper I'm reading* I don't believe in missionary work...
Becca: That's the whole point! You can be one without being one!
Me: ... . o 0 ( ...Oookay...)
<center>~*Seven Deadly Sins ~ Flogging Molly*~
So the years rolled by and several died and left us somewhat reelin’. Johnny strummed his tommy gun, left blastin’ through the ceiling. So what became of the rebels, who sang for you and me? Grapplin’ with their demons in the search of liberty. Suffers who suffer all can swim upon the desert, where Avarice have ravaged all, in spite of good intentions. Don’t fill your mouth with Gluttony, for Pride will surely swell, but nothing’s unforgiven in the four corners of Hell. Envy and its evil twin, it crept in bed with slander. Idiots, they gave advice, but Sloth it gave no answer. Anger kills the human soul with bitter tales of Lust, while Pavlov’s Dogs keep chewin’ on the legs they never trust. But it’s the only life we know, blagards to the bone. So don’t wreck yourself, take an honest grip, for there’s more tales beyond the shore. Sail away where no ball and chain can keep us from the roarin’ waves, together undivided but forever we’ll be free. So sail away aboard our rig, the moon is full and so are we, we’re Seven Drunken Pirates, we’re the Seven Deadly Sins.
~*~*~
~*Pink Punk Pirate*~
Proud Satanist, an Artist
A Writer, a Nutcase
Your Head Nurse

This is Captain Pinkeh, he’s my First Mate
:capnpinkeh:
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