Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Welcome to Koneko Kafé. We hope you enjoy your visit.


You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.


Join our community!


If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features:

Username:   Password:
Add Reply
My Summary is done!! ^w^; "Ocarina and the Jewels of Time."
Topic Started: Aug 17 2008, 08:28 PM (98 Views)
Koneko
Member Avatar
Hostess
“Orcarina And The Jewels of Time ”

“Destined to become the next Flower Guardian, Orcarina Momotsuki has always been different. With a sacred symbol, the Wings of Sakura, on her chest, she has trained all her life for her first test; obtaining the Staff of Sakura from the Ikkyo Ryotoku Forest. But Orcarina’s story does not end there. The keeper of the Jewels of Time, Chronoselia, has been kidnapped by the evil villainess, Xiao Mao. In an effort to keep the Jewels of Time from the forces of evil, Chronoselia shattered the Jewels into five shards. Little does Orcarina know that her destiny is being guided down a path that intertwines not only Chronoselia’s fate, but with the lives of many others. Can a girl who just turned sixteen rid the world of evil? Or will she fall in defeat? Only time will tell.”

Onyx: Jewel of the Past: Click here

Garnet: Jewel of the Present Click here

Opal: Jewel of the Future: Click here

Turquoise: Jewel of Misfortcune to Come: Click here

Diamond: Jewel of Hope: Click here

There, what do you think meow?? Oh and I couldn't have done this without RTH's and my parent's help--Thanks lots meow!! ^^
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Athanar
Member Avatar
Host
-keep the Jewel of Time from the forces of evil,

Jewels. Not Jewel.

-destiny is guiding down a path

Better would be "destiny is being guided down a path".

-just turn sixteen

just turned sixteen

Not trying to pick it apart, but those are a couple of errors, and each error makes it look less professional. The more professional it looks, the more likely it is to win. Just trying to help, Kitkat. ^^ I want you to win, and this sounds good!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Redette
Member Avatar
Rita Mordio
Quote:
 
-destiny is guiding down a path

Better would be "destiny is being guided down a path".
IMHO, the way that has been changed now, I think destiny should be replaced with the word fate. So...

Quote:
 
Orcarina knows that her fate is being guided down a path


IDK. Destiny just sounds weird to me now, but fate doesn't seem that much better.
Also:
Quote:
 

Opal: Jewel of the Future

Turquoise: Jewel of What’s to Come


Don't those two mean the same thing? "What's to come" and the "future" mean the exact same thing, right? I think it doesn't make any sense to have two jewels that do the same thing.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Koneko
Member Avatar
Hostess
Redette
Aug 18 2008, 02:48 AM
Quote:
 

Opal: Jewel of the Future

Turquoise: Jewel of What’s to Come


Don't those two mean the same thing? "What's to come" and the "future" mean the exact same thing, right? I think it doesn't make any sense to have two jewels that do the same thing.

It sounds the same, but it's different--The Jewel of What's to Come shows what dangers will happen like...Hmm, how do it put it? Like Yin and Good and Bad. What about be another name for it then?

I decided to call it "Jewel of Misfortcune to Come."
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
« Previous Topic · General / Personal Talk · Next Topic »
Add Reply