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| Relationship philosophy; how many before the one?? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 11 2007, 10:36 AM (214 Views) | |
| Lauren | Jul 11 2007, 10:36 AM Post #1 |
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I have concluded after much research that there is no "one" but rather the perfect "one", the "one" you end up with and the "one" that gets away. I have also concluded that the first time you fall in love is the first love, the second time is unrequited/the one that breaks your heart, and the third time you fall in love is the one that sticks. I've been in love twice and I'm a bit crap at relationships that last over one night of animal sex although I'm doing well at the minute with my current boyf Shane |
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| VertexEspada | Jul 11 2007, 10:42 AM Post #2 |
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This is my third time as well which would be Rebecca > Sarah and then you. I just go with it lol. I don't worry about what will or what could happen because that's when i screw things up :/ |
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| Saz | Jul 14 2007, 09:54 PM Post #3 |
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after a string of relationships that have gone down hill and endied up with the bloke having a kick in the balls - so far one shane has missed that lol - ive decided im just gonna go with the flow - have fun. if it lasts great if not, oh well just another on the expired pile lol |
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| Lauren | Aug 7 2007, 10:35 AM Post #4 |
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i couldn't imagine just pickin up a guy one week then he gets boring so pick up another the next week he gets boring, i mean by all means have fun but if u just flitter between relationships, cant u imagine feeling used, dissatisfied and unfulfilled by he hollowness of sexual contact?? and i'm speaking from experience |
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| Cinos Gohegdeh | Aug 10 2007, 06:30 AM Post #5 |
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That's not what she's saying by have fun. She's saying she'll "Go with the flow" and basically accept things as they are, as in if a relationship doesn't work out, oh well that's life at least she's still got her health, and if a relationship does work out then cool. But, who ever said the relationships she has would have to involve sex each time anyways? that's a bit of a silly assumption don't you think? |
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| Saz | Aug 10 2007, 10:21 PM Post #6 |
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yes, good conversation and friendship is a must..another thing my past guys have lacked i find lol with the exception of ashley- still a great chat but dont think itd work out ever as a proper life long type thing lol |
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| Lauren | Aug 10 2007, 11:22 PM Post #7 |
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sex is a part of a relationship though, a healthy one anyway, but i went with the flow for a few months and nothing was as it seemed, i'm just saying dont be so naive |
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| Cinos Gohegdeh | Aug 11 2007, 06:15 AM Post #8 |
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yes in a relationship of love it's important, but the fact is you can't assume a short relationship that doesn't work out somehow involved sex at one point or another. Really, personal question here, don't answer if you don't want to, in what relationships have you had sex, and how far into these relationships did this occur? |
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| Lauren | Aug 11 2007, 06:27 PM Post #9 |
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3 of them but a few one not exactly relationships, more like dirty, filthy, animal flings bulit on lust lust lust and coz i was horny and so were they but it was fun all in fun and when your our age thats what fun is, possibly not the right attitude to have but i had fun and leanrt lessons, and as long as your safe you always become a better lover to your future lovers (just ask shane!!!) |
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| Saz | Aug 11 2007, 11:39 PM Post #10 |
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just one just over two moths into the relationship and after the result i wish id waited for someone worth the love it took to trust him enough and trust me i shant be so naive- if sex is involved theywill have to wait until theyve gained my trust and itll never mean the same thing anymore |
<center>![]() ![]() ![]() A good friend will come bail you out of jail....But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "WE screwed up, but we had fun!"</center> | |
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| Cinos Gohegdeh | Aug 14 2007, 03:58 AM Post #11 |
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You didn't fully answer my question, as I asked how long you had been in the relationships, including your current one. At this age fun isn't meanlingless sex, it's making good friends. |
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| Lauren | Aug 14 2007, 12:19 PM Post #12 |
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erm well the first i was with for 2 months before we slept together but he was bonking some underage slut behind my back, the second was on the second day of the relationship that lasted 6 weeks but that was because i needed it to get over the other loser, and my current one has been going on for 3 months and we had awesome sex in public before we were goin out with each other which happened about 2 mins after we'd finished. is that enough detail for u? i'm a sexual person and i find sex really really fun!! and a necessity- sex is only a problem if its not happening in the realtionship. that enough info for u? oh and we do it about 20 times a week (i'm not kidding just ask him) and i believe that i'm actually older than you by about 3 years with a hell of a lot more experience of relationships, although i'm told you are very mature. |
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| Saz | Aug 14 2007, 09:04 PM Post #13 |
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lol my neighbours just introduced me to a nice lass.. no action yet cos were just getting to know each other. dont know if i want to go out with her yet so we're going to take things steady. if ever i need it though i know there is a guy whos after me but hes questionable so im avoiding him in favour of the girl plus theres a chance he may be getting a job where i work and i definately dont want a partner at work :/ |
<center>![]() ![]() ![]() A good friend will come bail you out of jail....But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "WE screwed up, but we had fun!"</center> | |
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| Cinos Gohegdeh | Aug 15 2007, 04:51 AM Post #14 |
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Well according to your birthday, your one year younger than me. Now here's my opinion on this. Your saying Saz would feel used from going from one relationship to the next, even if she won't necessarily have sex in those relationships, however, a few months is barely anything at all in a relationship, let alone long enough to consider yourself an expert in the matters of relationships and love. I wouldn't say there's such a thing as a certain number of relationships till you get it right, nor can you tell right away. A real solid, lasting relationship you can count on takes years, and a good few of those years should be spent as friends getting to know each other before you jump into bed. I've been with my girlfriend for a solid 2 and a half years, and we waited a bit more than a year before we made love, and we continue to nowadays, though we do our best not to let it ruin our love as it could, and even still I can't say 100% certain that our relationship is the one that will carry me through time. In my opinion, and I stress the words My opinion, I think you move too fast in your relationships. Like I said that's my opinion, just as it's your opinion that Saz is treating her relationships innappropriately. Also, there's no need to overexagerate/lie. Simply stating true facts is more respectful. |
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| Saz | Aug 15 2007, 11:47 PM Post #15 |
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i dont want a relationship dependant on sex again. i enjoy it but it would not be themain thing and im going to wit in future. with shane i loved him enough to make love. i don't now, but i don't regret how early i did it (or the fact that i did it, just who with in hindsight), even if i won't do it so early again. and i dont intend to have as series of relationships where i feel used which is why i'm taking my time with new possibile ones now. it'll never be the same for me, and i dont intend to be used or abused anymore, my partners, i hope, will be well chosen, have as much respect and love for me, as i for for them, and i wont come out of it, if it ends, feeling used or regretting the time spent. i feel this is an appropriate and effective attitude to stop me ending up with another moron to add to my list, and will protect me from my own attitude and naivity |
<center>![]() ![]() ![]() A good friend will come bail you out of jail....But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "WE screwed up, but we had fun!"</center> | |
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| Lauren | Aug 16 2007, 08:20 PM Post #16 |
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the relationships i have had have not been dependent on sex, i love it. maybe i am too fast but what wud i b waiting 4? a rainy day? i cud die 2moro so y not have sex with a couple of guys? and then find sumat special but u do need a certain amount of emotional removal to do that. when youv been used and abused like i hav u learn but i regret nothing and iv learnd to ignore peoples opinions of me coz they r usually rong and i am very very very misunderstood |
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| Cinos Gohegdeh | Aug 17 2007, 12:09 AM Post #17 |
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That's definately a better way to look at things then most people do.
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| Saz | Aug 17 2007, 07:04 PM Post #18 |
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lol tis also the best way to protect me from hurt- particularly if i pick the girl as there'll be no chance of an accident so i wont have to stay on the pill or have that affecting my sex life! much better, but i like the guy so much and he really really likes me...but i'm not sure :/ got any tips? lol |
<center>![]() ![]() ![]() A good friend will come bail you out of jail....But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "WE screwed up, but we had fun!"</center> | |
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| Lauren | Aug 21 2007, 11:16 PM Post #19 |
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always follow ur heart, who do u think you'll have the best relationship with? or even (as much as it contradicts this post) a future with? at least with bisexuality u have more choice!! my problem is i sometimes was a bit naive so maybe also ask urself who can u trust more? hope this helps i just dont want anyone to have to go through wot i wen through 11 minths ago, i wudnt wish it on anyone |
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| Saz | Aug 21 2007, 11:24 PM Post #20 |
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i've known the guy a while, so i trust him more obviously, and i dont think im the only one with a bit of indecision going on- i know lucy has another girl after her that seriously disapprove of a challange by a 17 year old bi- she thinks you should be one or the other, she been quite foul, but i thi nk lucy likes her a lil bit moe, whereas the guy i know, only likes me atm. so i think i may go with the guy but i'm still gonna take my time and im not even considering the future at this point. but i also know that trust and supposed love/interest in only me isnt always the case- feelings canchange so im gonna be a lil more careful this time. |
<center>![]() ![]() ![]() A good friend will come bail you out of jail....But a true friend will be sitting next to you saying "WE screwed up, but we had fun!"</center> | |
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