Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Happy Holidays!

Welcome

Welcome to The Mario Forums. We hope you enjoy your visit.

You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free.

What makes us the best Mario Forum out there?

- Online tournaments!
- Mario & gaming news!
- Live chat room! (Skype and Chatango)
- Ability add a signature and avatar!
- Fun contests with $$ prizes
- Friendly staff and members
- Getting a new name colour as you rank up by posting!
- And lots more!


Join our community!

If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features.

Multiquote
Add Reply
Redneck Etiquette Tips
Topic Started: Aug 31 2011, 07:08 PM (271 Views)
SkittleE
Member Avatar
Ich Bin Grammar Nazi.

GENERAL:
1. Never take a beer to a job interview.
2. Always identify people in your yard before shooting at them.
3. It's considered tacky to take a cooler to church.
4. If you have to vacuum the bed, it is time to change the sheets.
5. Even if you're certain that you are included in the will, it is still rude to drive the U-Haul to the funeral home.

DINING OUT:
1. When decanting wine, make sure that you tilt the paper cup and pour slowly so as not to "bruise" the fruit of the vine.
2. If drinking directly from the bottle, always hold it with your hands.
ENTERTAINING IN YOUR HOME:
1. A centerpiece for the table should never be anything prepared by a taxidermist.
2. Do not allow the dog to eat at the table, no matter how good his manners are.

PERSONAL HYGIENE:
1. While ears need to be cleaned regularly, this is a job that should be done in private using one's OWN truck keys.
2. Even if you live alone, deodorant is not a waste of good money.
3. Use of proper toiletries can only delay bathing for a few days.
4. Dirt and grease under the fingernails is a social no-no, as they tend to detract from a woman's jewelry and alter the taste of finger foods.

DATING (Outside the Family):
1. Always offer to bait your date's hook, especially on the first date.
2. Be assertive. Let her know you're interested: "I've been wanting to go out with you since I read that stuff on the bathroom wall two years ago."
3. Establish with her parents what time she is expected back. Some will say 10:00 PM. Others might say "Monday." If the latter is the answer, it is the man's responsibility to get her to school on time.

THEATRE ETIQUETTE:
1. Crying babies should be taken to the lobby and picked up immediately after the movie has ended.
2. Refrain from talking to characters on the screen. Tests have proven they can't hear you.

WEDDINGS:
1. Livestock is usually a poor choice for a wedding gift.
2. Kissing the bride for more than 5 seconds may get you shot.
3. For the groom, at least, rent a tux. A leisure suit with a cummerbund and a clean bowling shirt can create a tacky appearance.
4. Though uncomfortable, say "yes" to socks and shoes for this special occasion.

DRIVING ETIQUETTE:
1. Dim your headlights for approaching vehicles, even if the gun is loaded and the deer is in sight.
2. When approaching a four-way stop, the vehicle with the largest tires does not always have the right of way.
3. Never tow another car using panty hose and duct tape.
4. When sending your wife down the road with a gas can, it is impolite to ask her to bring back beer too.
5. Do not lay rubber while traveling in a funeral procession.

Posted Image

Posted Image

Posted Image
Sucking the joy out of life since 1998

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ClamEatsCurry
Member Avatar
Bagel, chicken sandwich, fruit basket

Was I the inspiration for this read since I'm from Kentucky? The "redneck/hillbilly state."

"And I'll scream
So loud that everyone in this place
Will hear every word I say
Cause this is my time, this is my time to shine
Let nothing stand in our way"
Posted ImagePosted Image
Made by Miharu of The Bell Tree..
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
cte4
Member Avatar
You Looking At Me?
hahahah thats great
Posted Image

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Evil Taco
Member Avatar
Boo
lol @ post
Have a question related about something on the forum? Send me a PM.
Skype - dateviltaco
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
ManSkirtDude101
Member Avatar
wanna buy a man skirt!!!!!???
awesome
Posted Image
Posted Image
Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
SkittleE
Member Avatar
Ich Bin Grammar Nazi.

Thanks!

Posted Image

Posted Image
Sucking the joy out of life since 1998

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Super Bowser Bros.
Member Avatar
Ring of Fire
I wish I was the cheese state!
Edited by Super Bowser Bros., Sep 17 2011, 09:36 AM.
Posted Image
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
SkittleE
Member Avatar
Ich Bin Grammar Nazi.

I don't. But it's better then living in Cuba, I guess.

Posted Image

Posted Image
Sucking the joy out of life since 1998

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
quillmert
Meh
But I'm not british...
Posted Image
Game IDs
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
« Previous Topic · Internet Cafe · Next Topic »
Add Reply

Ice Kingdom exclusively made for The Mario Forums by S&D