Welcome |
| Welcome to The Mario Forums. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. What makes us the best Mario Forum out there? - Online tournaments! - Mario & gaming news! - Live chat room! (Skype and Chatango) - Ability add a signature and avatar! - Fun contests with $$ prizes - Friendly staff and members - Getting a new name colour as you rank up by posting! - And lots more! Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features. |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| Finding Alyssa: A Story By ClamEatsCurry | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2011, 04:08 AM (525 Views) | |
| ClamEatsCurry | Sep 18 2011, 04:08 AM Post #1 |
![]()
Bagel, chicken sandwich, fruit basket
![]()
|
Hey guys, I started writing a story and I thought I'd share it with you all. It is set in modern day if technology had not become highly developed. People are still riding horses and are using swords/bows. Only the very rich had cars and guns. Of course there are lights, people aren't using candles or anything. And by cars and guns I'm talking like the 1945 kinds of cars and like the old like one shot rifles. The main characters are poor and live in a very poor neighborhood. The main character, Saben (terrible name, I know, all I could come up with) is an eighteen year old guy who is relatively strong and fast but he isn't anything special. Alyssa, his sister, is a very innocent, quiet, introverted, eleven year old girl. So with that little bit of background information, let us get started. Please note, foul language will be used throughout this story, please keep that in mind before reading. Chapter 1 It is Sunday night, about three A.M. and Saben lay awake in his bed, wide awake. Saben always had trouble sleeping. but tonight, he knew something was wrong. For safe measure. Saben walked to his window and looked out onto the street. In the very far distance he could see the headlights of a car coming down the road. Closer and closer they came. Saben then realized these headlights were headed straight to his small, one storied, four room house. They had his parents room, his sister Alyssa's room, the main room, and his room, in the back of the house. The car went past Saben's window. "Shit." He said. Saben turned, ran out of his room to the front window. The car had stopped outside of Saben's house. Saben busted through the door to his parent's room and screamed, "Mom! Dad! There is a car outside of our house! Come see!" No one ever stopped at their house. Saben was a relatively quiet young adult and though he was a little strong and quick footed, he was not one to involve himself with others. His sister Alyssa was also quite introverted. She was a quiet girl who just liked to read, read everything. Stephen King, J.K. Rowling, Suzanne Collins, everything. Saben loved his sister and she was his closest friend, they had done many things together ever since she was old enough to walk. "Ahhh!" A scream came from Alyssa's room. At the sound of Alyssa's cry Saben darted out of his parent's room and into Alyssa's room, his parents close behind. As he entered the room, he saw three men standing in her room. One holding Alyssa while she struggled to get away, but his grip was too tight. "Put her down!" Yelled Saben's dad. At the sound of his voice, the three men turned around, the one still holding Alyssa. The men were difficult to see in the dark of the night while the lights were off but Saben could see they were dressed in all black and one of them had a large scar running all the way down the right side of his face. "Who are you?" Saben's dad yelled at him. "You don't need to know. Move aside." The man with the scar said. "I won't let you hurt my little girl!" Screamed Saben's mom. "Marshall, take care of her." The man with the scar said with a calm voice. At that moment, one of the other men pulled a pistol from his jacket, aimed at Saben's mom's head and fired. "Mom!!!" Saben screamed! Tears filled his eyes as he ran to her body lying on the floor. "Let's get out of here." The man with the scar said as he yanked Alyssa back into his grasp and shoved her out the door frame and into the main room. Saben was crying, his mom had been shot right in front of him. Her blood staining the white carpeted floor. Saben's mom had been a wonderful mother who always had taken care of him and now she, she was gone. Saben was enraged, he sprinted out of the room to the main room window to see that Alyssa was being forced into the car that had stopped in front of their house. As the engine roared to life Saben sprinted as fast as he could outside, he had never felt this pain in his heart and the rage building inside of him. The headlights turned on, and the car began to drive away. Saben didn't care, he ran as fast as he could, his heart pounding, the intensity of a thousand fires in his heart. The distance between the car and Saben grew further and further until Saben had given up hope on catching the car himself and sank to his knees. "I'm going to find you and fucking kill you!" Saben cried more and more tears, "Count on it! I'm coming to find you Alyssa!" Saben cried more. And with that, the headlights had faded away to where they were no longer visible, leaving Saben sitting in the middle of the street in the dark, alone. So give some feedback people. What do you think? |
|
"And I'll scream So loud that everyone in this place Will hear every word I say Cause this is my time, this is my time to shine Let nothing stand in our way" ![]() ![]() Made by Miharu of The Bell Tree.. | |
![]() |
|
| Super Bowser Bros. | Sep 18 2011, 08:24 AM Post #2 |
![]()
Ring of Fire
|
Looks pretty good! Good job! :) |
![]() | |
![]() |
|
| ClamEatsCurry | Sep 18 2011, 02:48 PM Post #3 |
![]()
Bagel, chicken sandwich, fruit basket
![]()
|
Thanks dude. I appreciate it. |
|
"And I'll scream So loud that everyone in this place Will hear every word I say Cause this is my time, this is my time to shine Let nothing stand in our way" ![]() ![]() Made by Miharu of The Bell Tree.. | |
![]() |
|
| SkittleE | Sep 20 2011, 01:55 PM Post #4 |
![]()
Ich Bin Grammar Nazi.
![]()
|
Good job! :happy: |
![]() ![]() Sucking the joy out of life since 1998 | |
![]() |
|
| ClamEatsCurry | Sep 20 2011, 02:27 PM Post #5 |
![]()
Bagel, chicken sandwich, fruit basket
![]()
|
Thank you. Especially for using that emoticon! :) |
|
"And I'll scream So loud that everyone in this place Will hear every word I say Cause this is my time, this is my time to shine Let nothing stand in our way" ![]() ![]() Made by Miharu of The Bell Tree.. | |
![]() |
|
| SkittleE | Sep 20 2011, 06:34 PM Post #6 |
![]()
Ich Bin Grammar Nazi.
![]()
|
Really, you did a good job. |
![]() ![]() Sucking the joy out of life since 1998 | |
![]() |
|
| ClamEatsCurry | Sep 21 2011, 01:17 AM Post #7 |
![]()
Bagel, chicken sandwich, fruit basket
![]()
|
Thanks, I'm not sure when I will write Chapter 2...but I assure it will come! |
|
"And I'll scream So loud that everyone in this place Will hear every word I say Cause this is my time, this is my time to shine Let nothing stand in our way" ![]() ![]() Made by Miharu of The Bell Tree.. | |
![]() |
|
| SkittleE | Sep 21 2011, 01:27 AM Post #8 |
![]()
Ich Bin Grammar Nazi.
![]()
|
:happy: |
![]() ![]() Sucking the joy out of life since 1998 | |
![]() |
|
| Hissae2 | Sep 22 2011, 04:30 PM Post #9 |
![]()
King of Mario Forums
|
Looks good Curry :) |
![]() My signatures
| |
![]() |
|
| SkittleE | Sep 22 2011, 04:32 PM Post #10 |
![]()
Ich Bin Grammar Nazi.
![]()
|
There you are Hissae! How could you be so jerkish and not congratulate Curry before? Go cry in the corner with Skirtdude! |
![]() ![]() Sucking the joy out of life since 1998 | |
![]() |
|
| ClamEatsCurry | Sep 22 2011, 08:18 PM Post #11 |
![]()
Bagel, chicken sandwich, fruit basket
![]()
|
Thank you very much Hissae. :) |
|
"And I'll scream So loud that everyone in this place Will hear every word I say Cause this is my time, this is my time to shine Let nothing stand in our way" ![]() ![]() Made by Miharu of The Bell Tree.. | |
![]() |
|
| SkittleE | Sep 22 2011, 10:40 PM Post #12 |
![]()
Ich Bin Grammar Nazi.
![]()
|
Well, you deserve it. :) |
![]() ![]() Sucking the joy out of life since 1998 | |
![]() |
|
| ClamEatsCurry | Sep 22 2011, 11:41 PM Post #13 |
![]()
Bagel, chicken sandwich, fruit basket
![]()
|
I hoped you all would like it. :) |
|
"And I'll scream So loud that everyone in this place Will hear every word I say Cause this is my time, this is my time to shine Let nothing stand in our way" ![]() ![]() Made by Miharu of The Bell Tree.. | |
![]() |
|
| SkittleE | Sep 22 2011, 11:42 PM Post #14 |
![]()
Ich Bin Grammar Nazi.
![]()
|
We do. :) |
![]() ![]() Sucking the joy out of life since 1998 | |
![]() |
|
| ClamEatsCurry | Sep 22 2011, 11:46 PM Post #15 |
![]()
Bagel, chicken sandwich, fruit basket
![]()
|
Anything I should work on? |
|
"And I'll scream So loud that everyone in this place Will hear every word I say Cause this is my time, this is my time to shine Let nothing stand in our way" ![]() ![]() Made by Miharu of The Bell Tree.. | |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
![]() ZetaBoards gives you all the tools to create a successful discussion community. Learn More · Register for Free |
|
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Off Topic Chat · Next Topic » |
- Pages:
- 1
- 2
| Track Topic · E-mail Topic | 8:36 PM Jul 10 |
Ice Kingdom exclusively made for The Mario Forums by S&D
Hosted for free by ZetaBoards · Privacy Policy

























