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| Kimino's Attacks; feel the power of the ripper from the mist | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 20 2011, 10:49 AM (479 Views) | |
| fitzitz | Sep 20 2011, 10:49 AM Post #1 |
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Chunin Poster
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These are Kimino's legendary techniques. Name: Hakai no me (eye of destruction) Available?: no Rank: B Element: None Hand Seals: None Classification: Doujutsu Description: This is a unique dojutsu that only Kimino knows, for he himself is the creator. He created it by studying the basic Sharingan and the Mangekyou Sharingan, and looking at the effect of their genjutsu, and developed an eye with the same damaging abilities, but as Ninjutsu. This dojutsu allows him to use a range of techniques he created, as well as heightening his awareness and reflexes greatly can also copy C and D rank techniques so long as they are the same element as he is and are not clan only. Effects: Allows the ability to copy basic jutsu, and increases strength, awareness and reflexes. Can also see through basic genjutsu and can see basic chakra pathways. Range: User Spoiler: click to toggle
Edited by fitzitz, Sep 25 2011, 03:04 AM.
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| Yamamoto Kichirou | Sep 20 2011, 12:13 PM Post #2 |
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Genin Poster
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Looks good, but some of the descriptions are uncomfortable to me. ( Traps enemy. They cant move at all unless using attacks such as puppets which don't require movement.) What happens if the enemy DON'T have puppets? Is there another way to get out? ( Kimino uses the his unique dojutsu to focus his chakra into his eyes. He then selects a target and glares at them. As he does, the exact moment he does, two invisible blades of chakra faster than the speed of light fly out, ripping two great slashes down the enemy's torso or limbs. This technique is very powerful, but not able to kill easily. Can still kill weak enemies however.) I sorta find that a little god modding (To me) But the rest seems good to me. (But I suggest someone else to check this over) |
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| fitzitz | Sep 20 2011, 12:19 PM Post #3 |
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Chunin Poster
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Please can you explain to me how it is god modding? And I will edit the trap part. |
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| Yamamoto Kichirou | Sep 20 2011, 12:25 PM Post #4 |
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Genin Poster
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Well, this part:
I suggest of placing in a way of dodging. Weak enemies, I can understand. But for those who AREN'T weak, 'Mind posting of how there's a way of dodging? ^^ And place out the speed of light thing.. kind of uncomfortable to me >_< |
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| fitzitz | Sep 20 2011, 12:34 PM Post #5 |
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Chunin Poster
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They can dodge anyway. You don't need to do it for other techniques because it is implied that it is able to be dodged anyway. |
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| Yamamoto Kichirou | Sep 20 2011, 12:36 PM Post #6 |
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Genin Poster
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Hmm. Well OK, looks good enough to me.
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| MaximumMajin | Sep 20 2011, 01:13 PM Post #7 |
Administrator
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Hmmm...quite a few problems: Dojutsu -- It's fine, nothing really needs changing. Flash Rending Glare -- Not only does this seem to make no sense to me at all, it's OP'd/God-Modded. How? Simple: Faster than the speed of light -- I can take invisible and fast, but faster than the speed of light makes it IMPOSSIBLE to dodge, no matter what technique your using and no matter how fast your moving. Cuts through the strongest metals -- How exactly do two blades of chakra have enough strength to cut through steel, titanium, or platinum, etc.? If they can cut through the hardest steel, then not only can they not be dodged, but they cannot be BLOCKED either, and one of my ten motos: No Dodge, No Block, No USE. Kills Genin -- I'm thinking of denying this Jutsu simply for this reason. Yes, it is understandable that Genin will be much more vulnerable to the technique, but it's only A-Rank and an instant-kill? Nope, not on my watch. Eternal Pain -- Not following this one either, and has it's own list of awkwardness: Reflector -- HOW does it reflect damage? WHY? There is no prelude, and genjutsu are illusions, they CANNOT harm physical beings. Maybe give the sensation of pain, but no real damage will be dealt. Urge to Kill -- This ability was NOT described as one of the eye's abilties in the Dojutsu, thus cannot be used.(explained more later) Forbidden -- why is this technique forbidden? It doesn't seem strong enough, although if it reflects damage, there is no need to make it any more powerful. Combo -- This whole things seems like a combo between the Clone technique, your eye, and some unexplained reflective jutsu. (Personal Opinion) Waste of chakra -- Just because you stand in front of the enemy doesn't mean they'll blindly attack you, and even if they want to kill you, they'd have to be pretty damn bad ninja to just outright try to stab you, etc., without surveying the genjutsu first. Ocean Dragon Form -- DENIED. Your slipping past quite a few large god-mods here and until they are met, this is denied: Summon water in...a second? -- Over powered, try again. Once again, your Dojutsu gives NO ability to summon water at all, and if it did, I'd deny it because simply summoning water wherever you choose is really, really over-kill, since that means you could just stop most other elements from working and negate numerous techniques. C Rank? -- No, I'd at the LEAST put this at S-Rank, because the dragon is PRETTY MUCH a summon and brings about what I'm assuming to be a powerful water-dragon, when Water Dragon no Jutsu ITSELF is an A-Rank technique If I remember correctly. Ally -- Not acceptable, your giving yourself many more attacks then even a summon would do because apparently it "doesn't count as a summon." I'm guessing this thing would be slammed into it's targets, and since it's made of water, it can't be harmed in the slightest-not even with Raiton techniques, so it could just attack and attack and attack...no. Not a summon...? -- This part just seems like a way to get around the summon restrictions. So, your telling me that a C-Rank technique can summon an A-Rank water dragon, it can't be counted as a summon, and it can attack on its own as an ally? DENIED. *other problem* Second -- The technique is done in like two seconds, this is over-powered. Over-powered dragon attack thingy -- OMG I CANNOT EVEN BEGIN TO DESCRIBE HOW OVER POWERED THIS TECHNIQUE IS. DENIED ON THE SPOT.(do you read over your stuff when you submit them? Or do you just click enter and make me waste time doing this? I'm sorry, but your a STAFF MEMBER, you should be able to pick out god-mods that even yourself has made before we see it.) Anyway, letting some of the built-up stress out, here are all of the problems: Copying -- NEVER, EVER can you just copy a technique, movement, etc. just by seeing it. And even then, Gaara's sand and Kakashi's Mangekyo sharingan are like the only exceptions that even the SHARINGAN ITSELF cannot copy.(NO, the Sharingan on this site does not have the ability to copy techniques nor will it ever) And by the way, what is Kimino's connection to those characters? He just one day HAPPENED to see two of the strongest ninja using their strongest techniques? AND, this technique seems nothing like either of theirs, so why did he need to see them to preform this basic of an attack? Ultimate Ninjutsu -- WHY would you EVER think that would get passed me? Why? Not only is this technique not making any sense, why is this "one of the worlds most powerful Ninjutsu could be used" when it's just water-prison in the middle of a water dragon? MUST be fixed before I could even THINK about reconsidering this. Can't break out -- This is just a B-Rank technique, and whats more, it's just getting the target stuck in some water, like the water prison technique, so why do non-raiton users need to use an A-Rank or higher technique to break free? And whats more, Puppetry DOES require movement, it require the user to move their arms and hands. Must loosen the restraints on this. Final technique: Denied. Never, ever EVER come to me with an instant-killing technique. And whats more, it's entirely over-powered. Re-read it as a STAFF MEMBER, and I won't even NEED to list the 4+ MAJOR problems with this technique. I'm not going to say I'm sorry. I AM going to say that I am VERY disappointed and may want to rethink your staff power if you submit something like this again, you seem to always have an over-powered problem when making techniques and the such. Do I need to go over the basics with you? |
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| fitzitz | Sep 20 2011, 09:03 PM Post #8 |
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Chunin Poster
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Sorry, wasn't feeling well yesterday and was feeling dizzy and stuff and couldn't really focus. Would you mind if I deleted this topic? I can see more problems than what you listed, so I also hate it just as much as you do. |
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| MaximumMajin | Sep 21 2011, 11:08 AM Post #9 |
Administrator
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If it's your decision to delete go ahead, but remember-it was an intentionally-friendly prank. (get well soon btw) |
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| fitzitz | Sep 21 2011, 11:29 AM Post #10 |
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Chunin Poster
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Im gonna keep the dojutsu though. |
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