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Diving into an Analytical Mind; Jade is the Overthinker
Topic Started: Mar 7 2012, 01:22 AM (26 Views)
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Am I or am I not a horrible person?

Yes.

Sort of, at this point. And very much so at the same time. After all, not just one thing makes a person horrible. A long string of events qualifies someone as a horrible or terrible person. After all, do one bad thing, it's a mistake, do two, and it's repetitive issue, more than four and you've got a bad hobby.

At the moment, I'd consider myself 88% terrible, as compared to 99%. After all, the things I do on a daily basis have to count for something, right?

being with Tear; most would indeed consider that bad. After all, dating and potentially marrying someone who is young enough to be your daughter is generally frowned upon. That and the fact that I have to wait until her coming of age ceremony to actually be wed is the icing on this very oddly-shaped cake. An odd, somewhat worrisome realization. After all, I can't really ignore it. She is young and part of me feels I'm robbing someone (namely Luke) of her presence. That and she can act a child at times. She's mature for her age, but oftentimes I am reminded that she is still a young lady and not a full-grown woman.

Which, when considering a wedding is... almost disturbing.

But do I love her? Of all people, it was her and her drunken confession. Why her..? There are so many reasons and none. Some I can explain and some I can't. Tear is Tear, as basic and silly as it sounds. She is charming in her own way, kind and understanding; patient when I can't express myself and accepting when I can. Her level-headedness and willingness to not let a situation get to her despite her age and despite her experiences is impressive.

If I were honest with myself, I could honestly say I was giving into her childish whims when she asked me about my feelings for her after that night. part of me realized I wasn't in my right mind. When I entered this relationship, I do not think I was in love with her. So why did I accept? Was I so confused and put off guard that I reacted out of what would satisfy her? Make the journey less awkward? Have I ever cared that much?

In a way, I was in love with her, I suppose. Simply that part of me didn't know yet- refused to accept and understand it. Love is... Odd. Illogical. It obviously doesn't see age boundaries, as it's shown. Despite the flaws of this kind of relationship, I can't see myself living without her anymore. I'm used to being on my own, despite those who surround me; being self-sufficient and requiring no more than a book or mug of tea to keep me company for hours. I still can. An interesting book is an interesting book, but Tear for some reason has my attention. I could have been countless other women but here I am, living with a Yulian Descendant and now sitting in the back of my library wondering where on the scale of 'things one should actually not do' this falls.

However, I do love her. I wonder if that makes it better or worse.

I'm going to go with not caring about such a silly thing. I love her and that's that. I'll remain in love with her as long as she'll have me.

Till death do us part, isn't that it?'
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