| No Mans Land Oct 9th 2003 | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jun 5 2011, 02:30 PM (61 Views) | |
| Arizonas Most Wanted | Jun 5 2011, 02:30 PM Post #1 |
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Adrian Tanner Jr Vs Zeus [Somewhere in the Tazmanian wilderness, dreesed as an Elmer Fudd clone, ![]() (Looney Tunes Owns, yo) is Brandon Fernandez. Brandon turns his cardboard rifle to the camera and begins to speak.] 'Brandon Fudd'( in near perfect "Elmer speech") : Be Vewy, Vewy Qwuiet. I'm hunting possibwy the most recwusive specimen on the pwanet. No, not Jake Porter's dignity, heheh.... ![]() [Why Brandon, and not Adrian you may ask? Well, Adrian's not Shane McMahon. So naturally, hes where most would expect him to be after the brutal match with the Hellhounds, and subsequent fireball to the face, home recuperating.] Brandon: Unfortunately, I've been searching for days and have found no clue as to where it could be, if it even exists. Ah fuck it, this is pointless. (he throws down the cardboard gun) [Brandon walks over to his rent-a-car and grabs a bottle of water from the back seat.] Brandon: It's obvious Zues either doesnt have a brain, or has no idea how to use it. "The tanner Rat?" That was weak, yo. I'm talkin' "anybody thinking Pauly Shore is funny" kinda weak. Look, I'm not that great at this promo stuff, but Adrian needed some much needed time off... But even I could beat you at this point in time. Why don't you go back to your little fake "lightening bolts" and "flying on clouds" stuff and leave the quasi-intelligent stuff to the guys who, you know, have an IQ over 2 pts. It's sad really, cause I know what you want. You want Adrian to come on here pissed about what happened at the ppv, so you can take credit for something you didnt do. Well, tough shit. Because you didnt jack squat, homie. I know you want everyone to think "ohh, Zues is big and bad because he threw Adrian through a door," right? Fool, you woulda never had that chance if Helldude Cererbro hadnt shot a fireball into Adrian's face. "Big bad 'god'boy Zues" had to have three guys bigger, meaner and more fear inspiring than he'll ever be beat my homeboy up and kidnap him just so Zues could try to make people think he's actually a threat..... Well it failed 'godboy,' miserably. In fact, to quote that dude from Billy Madison...."We're all that much dumber for having to witness it," or something like that. Adrian's_still_gonna own you, and there still aint a damn thing you can do about it. Now come back when you've got something usefull to say, homes. [The scene fades out, then quickly reopens at the Tazmania airport, as a plane is landing. Inside the airport now, and a somewhat familair face steps out from the boarding area. The camera, a slight distance away makes out that the man stands about 6'6" and has on long black leather pants, and a blue collared short sleeve shirt. The man grabs his luggage from the baggage claim and as he gets closer to the camera we can see he has on silver rimmed black sunglasses, his short slicked back brown hair with blonde tips blows in the wind from the Air conditioner. He steps closer and we finally get a good look at..... ....Bryant Tanner?!] *FADE* |
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| Arizonas Most Wanted | Jun 5 2011, 02:31 PM Post #2 |
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[The scene opens up to a television set. On the screen is Tazmania Channel 5 news anchor Tim Hardy.] Tim Hardy: Thank you, Marcia. We'll hope to have more on that great story about poor little Jimmy trapped in a well at our 10 'O clock report. On a subject that has nothing to do with that, the search for Zues' brain continues. However, no new evidence on where we can find this elusive specimen has surfaced. If anyone watching at home has any information on where it might be, you can call 1-800-614-DUMBASS. a "whopping" $2 reward has been set for any information we can find. Up next, a great piece on... [The Tv turns off. The camera pans back to show Brandon Fernandez sitting on a couch in the lobby of the Tazmanian hotel the Goodfellas are staying at, wearing blue jeans and a white t-shirt. A smile crosses his face after he turns the tv off. The camera then pans over across the way, where we see two people standing face to face, almost looking to fight. The camera zooms in closer and we see Bryant tanner, suitcase in hand. Howevcer, Christian Tanner blocks the way.] Bryant Tanner: Get out of the way! Christian: Make me. Bryant: I'm not asking you again, Chris... Christian: And I'm not telling you again, Make me. What the hell are you doin here? This is_my_business! You hear me? MINE! This has nothing to do with you, so just run on back home, before I do something you'll regret. Bryant: I'm here to see_My_little bro. Now, move. Christian: Fuck off! *SLAP!* [Bryant slaps the taste out of his younger brother's mouth.] Bryant: Now listen to me! This is'nt about me and you. I know you hate me, and I cant say I feel different about you, "bro." This isnt about us and our problems! This is about Adrian, so shut the fuck up, and move out of my way! Brandon: Alright Freeze, yo. [In a "Saved By The Bell"-ish moment, the entire hotel, except for Brandon, freezes in place. Brandon walks into camera focus.] Brandon: Zues, I'd like you to meet your worst F'n nightmare's elder brother. Now he's a bad mother... Camera guy off screen: Shut yo mouth. Brandon: I'm just talkin bout Bryant.... As I was saying. You think C-bomb's bad, wait till you see Bryant pissed. I'm sure even your brain-dead ass has heard the old saying "you wont like him when hes angry." And you're....those of you out there with a brain, which automatically excludes Zues, are saying "what's this got to do with Adrian?" Bryant's our "Insurance Policy" for the week, just to make sure there wont be some other talentless hack trying to take out Adrian. And then those of you with a brian, which again excludes Zues, would say"why are you wasting time talking about Adrian's older brother(s) when you're supposed to be talking about Adrian's opponent?" Why, You'd ask? Well, whats there to talk about, yo? I pretty much gave the fool his promo agenda, and then he answers back with some sad attempt at remixing a terrible song. And I'm supposed to care that this clown's facing Adrian, why? Becuase he threw Adrian through a door, even though that was AFTER Adrian had already gone through an asskicking match with the Hellguys? Because he can pretend to shoot fake lightening bolts through his eyes? [Brandon's eyes "light up" and suddenly, in an obvious camera trick, bolts of camera edited fake lightening shoots through his eyes and "electrocutes" some poor frozen guy (because the world's still frozen SBTB stylee) across the hall at the hotel bar. The guy falls on the floor, although no burn marks can be seen anywhere on his body.] Brandon: (in a mocking voice) Ohh, look at that Zues. I can shoot lightening too. Yay me! [Brandon shakes his head in shame] Brandon: You aint got a chance 'godboy.' .....Not a Chance in hell. [The camera fades as Brandon walks out of view.] Brandon: Oh shit.... [The camera stops fading.] Brandon: Um...'Unfreeze' and shit. Man, that woulda been wierd yo. [The camera fades once again as the world around Brandon "unfreezes." The man Brandon "electrocuted" wonders why he's on the floor, then simply stnads up and goes back to drinking, with no signs of being "electrocuted." Bryant Tanner walks by Christian, and all is right again with the world.....] "Or atleast, it will be soon." *FADE to a picture of Zues' face with a giant target on it and an arrow through the head* |
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| Arizonas Most Wanted | Jun 5 2011, 02:31 PM Post #3 |
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[Scene fades in Adrian Tanner, at the MGM Grande in Las Vegas, Nevada, USA. Sight of the Rising Stars, Living Legends Interfed Tournament.] Adrian: I'm gonna make this short and sweet. See, I got a tournament out here in Nevada to win. But dont worry your poor little brainless head, Zues. I'll be back in time to humiliate your lame ass on NML. Now, I was going to leave this to Brandon, because he needs all the practice he can get, but it's obvious Zues is a complete, utter MORON and doesnt understand much of anything, so I just had to chime in here. Zues, just Shutup Already! Seriously, man, you're not helping your case. It's funny. Every single time you open your mouth you make yourself look like that much more of a jackass. It's absolutely hilarious how Brandon's calling you a "brainless fucktard" in so many ways and the BEST you can possibly return with is... [Adrian turns on a tape recorder] "Zues: I think that the Tanner Bros. are nothing more than monkey shit." Adrian: Go back to playing in your fantasy world , Zues. Your 'superhero god comedy act" is getting madly old, really fast. I am the future of this business. You? Your a product of Soutter's "McMahon-itis." I'm here because I deserve to be here, with the finist athletes in the business. I proved that im the Goodfellas brutal match with the Hellhounds at DuD, just as I said I would. You're here because Soutter has a hard on for people like himself. Big, but Zero Talent. Stop Comparing yourself to God, because your not. Stop pretending you can shoot lightening bolts and fly on clouds, because you cant. Stop trying to act like your better than me,...... Because You're Not! ....And THAT, is the straight up truth. [FADE] |
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1:38 AM Jul 11