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| Garden Party; What's in your backyard? | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Jul 22 2006, 08:18 PM (3,507 Views) | |
| Jeanna | Jul 28 2007, 01:37 AM Post #61 |
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I said SIT IN THAT CHAIR
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This is the sizable touch of nature in my backyard...actually, across the st. in my neighbor's backyard...and, no, we are not zoned for this. But he's awfully sweet. http://s2.photobucket.com/albums/y31/bacch...nt=P7260050.jpg |
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H&N Music Vid by me and ekny Something To Talk About YouTube My BG Music Vids On YouTube My vids You Tube removed Click Here OR HERE BAM for Beginners BAM Channel | |
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| ekny | Jul 28 2007, 10:29 PM Post #62 |
In love with a prisoner
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That is so surreal I laugh my ass off every time I see it. Erm. Well. I laugh someone's ass off, anyway. Zoned! These people must have linoleum inside their BRAINS, not just in their trailer's kitchen, john, and closet. We're talking serious lack of smarts here. Who in the name of god drags a poor creature that size into the burbs?! They must be burrowed under with paperwork by now. One can only hope. Does it whicker or something pleasant, at least? Sorry, really, I won't go on but--it's just so inspiring, this level of goofiness.... How positively nonconformist of them. Really, one has to admire this. Or--no, no, wait! it's a political statement! Can't fool me for long, nosireebub. Hand me those cheezits & a beer, hon. --e |
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| Jeanna | Jul 28 2007, 11:38 PM Post #63 |
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I said SIT IN THAT CHAIR
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He's been named...Dominic. <G> |
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H&N Music Vid by me and ekny Something To Talk About YouTube My BG Music Vids On YouTube My vids You Tube removed Click Here OR HERE BAM for Beginners BAM Channel | |
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| Just Another Mad Bad Fan | Jul 30 2007, 12:00 AM Post #64 |
G2 landing
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Not Mc All-ass-ter by any chance? |
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| Jeanna | Jul 30 2007, 02:44 PM Post #65 |
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I said SIT IN THAT CHAIR
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H&N Music Vid by me and ekny Something To Talk About YouTube My BG Music Vids On YouTube My vids You Tube removed Click Here OR HERE BAM for Beginners BAM Channel | |
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| ekny | Oct 6 2007, 04:12 AM Post #66 |
In love with a prisoner
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Ok, so this post contains some bad language, but I'm here to tell you, it's warranted. So, for the two people who've been following my infrequent posts on this thread, you might have noticed: not big with the gardening. Why, you ask? Well, after tonight's little... Incident, I believe this will be self-explanatory. So here's me, being a good little doobie: it's like, 75º out, I go home & think, Hm, might just possibly want to take care of some of the weeds in the back yard, you know, the ones that are 6' high? because I do not need the permanent enmity of all my neighbors, only most. So I trot to the living room (where I left the hedge-trimmer from uh, last summer) & grab the new heavy-duty extension cord (ditto), snake it out the kitchen window (cause I have no external sockets because the house is 150 years old so every damn thing you want to do with it involves this complicated set of infinite regressions backwards where you have to do (or buy) three other things first because the house is, let's face it, not exactly suburban moderne), trot down to the garden with my hedge-trimmer, & gamely begin swiping away. Last time I did this I needed 4 stitches in my big toe but we won't discuss that, at least not tonight. So I'm being careful, talking to myself (in my head, thankyouverymuch), trying to Stay Alert & remind myself not to tangle & chop the cord in half (like last time, or was that the time before?), & to switch hands regularly because the safety mechanism means you can't lock it in the On position, can only hold the switch down with your thumb, and both of my thumbs are rapidly losing sensation as I burst microcapillaries right & left in my earnest albeit somewhat belated quest to Tame the Wilderness (the one that ate Godzilla's love-child, yes, that one--my bad), meanwhile trying to keep in mind that I should maybe perhaps also remember to cut away from my body and not get cavalier with the foot-area again (but hey, at least this time I'm wearing closed running shoes, not sandles--and again, with the not-going-there), and the sun's getting low but I'm making good progress, head bent forward near the compost heap, which isn't really a compost heap but a big square area that was meant for Better Things, and then there's... this confusion. My arms have been swiped by nettles, I'm sweating rather more than I'd like (which is: at all), but I'm so close to being done and my head, there's--ouch, goddamn, goddamn, I've forgotten the yellowjacket nest, the one near the compost heap, and I've dropped the hedgetrimmer which has obligingly turned off & proven True to its safety mechanism, I'm swiping at myself in a confused way because there's that five-second slo-mo gap where time expands while something Bad is happening & you're trying to make sense of it, but my head hurts and they're on me, something's on my shirt, I need to move you idiot. Then it's an adrenaline-fueled thrash the long way around to the front of the house because I'm too close to the kitchen entrance which is the only door that works because of the 150-year-old infinite regression thing & I have to LOSE them, they're following, no they're not yes they are or is that the horror-flick music droning at me I can't tell, oh man, the weeds are too long it's very slow, it's all very grade-z horror-flick at this point because I'm totally panicked and my fucking head hurts and I'm at the porch, are they following, one dead (is it dead? please be dead don't send messages to your skanky evil pals from the unfeeling world of the primordial) little bastard's still on my shirt, take it off, can't take it off, public, suburbs, why do men get to do this and I'd just get arrested get inside already rip it off throw it back onto porch fuck the fucking neighbors, pants, stumble, shoes, did any follow me in no time to check stumble upstairs SHOWER. Ice-cold shower for ten minutes on my head, which does not feel good, not at all, not in any way, and I'm gasping & trying to catch my breath & curse at the same time which is not smart but bugs, stinging bugs, have evolved for just this reason, so that BEARS will run in the opposite direction from their tiny evil dangling stingers, and I am not a bear thankyouverymuch but I am dreadfully cold. The cat follows, puzzled; interested, & watches first from the open bathroom door then follows me downstairs because that's where the Food is. The cat is useless & I should feed her to the yellowjackets. Ice-pack on head for half an hour: the strange burning hot stinging prickly pain is a bit more numb but quite present because it turns out there are a remarkable amount of surprisingly sensitive nerve-endings on your scalp and I have a serious headache. Benadryl, I think (rather stupidly ok but it HURTS), ibuprofin. I dully get baking soda out of the freezer & try to make a paste & smear some on said head. Which is hard because I have a lot of hair. I sit back down in the living room chair & stare in a not-zen way at the blank tv screen & work at the Calm thing. I can't see them, they're on the top of my head. No stingers seem to be left when my trembling hand occasionally tries to gingerly feel any out, despite my returning brain's counsel not to do this. It's not such a big deal don't be a baby, it's what, half a dozen, 8 bumps max. Obviously I'm not allergic. Obviously it's not my unhappy lot to die alone of anaphylactic shock & be found after a week when I've started to smell & the cat's given up feasting on my burst intestines she is NO goddamn use at all, none, why didn't I train her to dial the phone? and what I want to know is this, just this ONE THING: WHAT. THE FUCK. ARE FUCKING YELLOWJACKETS DOING OUT AND ABOUT ON OCTOBER FUCKING FIFTH?! |
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| LahbibLover | Oct 6 2007, 05:38 AM Post #67 |
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I said SIT IN THAT CHAIR
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Okay, sympathy first - ooooh poor little thing then excuse me but that was a really really bwahahaha adventure.
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| song_stress | Oct 6 2007, 08:06 AM Post #68 |
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the Mother of all that is FRAP
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oooooooooooh not good. I do feel for you as the same thing happened to my mom while working in the back yard. OK, it was years ago and wasn't October. This is the same woman who told me if you don't bother them they won't bother you, which I found out later in life is a LIE! The one that got me was out for a joy ride and looking for trouble and I was minding my OWN business, thank you very much. But like you said.....we won't go there. There were two people in the back yard that day. Mom AND Dad. But those li'l buggers knew exactly who was holding the shovel and followed said gardener INTO the house! My father said the swarm just followed her across the yard, never taking a second look at him. I was in the basement and heard stomping and screaming, only to race upstairs to find my mother's body already looking like an inverted golfball ...errr.... perhaps horned melon is more the picture you should have. Half the ones that made it in the house were still trying to sting her , the other half lying dead all over the floor after being swatted or sacrificing themselves for the cause. It was NOT a pretty site. Just reading your story makes me cringe, remembering. From that experience I know the next few days won't be pleasant. I am just thankful you didn't have an allergic reaction. It is for spiders, other creepy crawlies and the stinging buggers that I also hate gardening. Which is probably good because I have a blackthumb and everyplant I take care of dies anyway. Not gardening just saves on therapy for what would be a "failure-complex" I think this calls for pampering and a spinach and feta cheese pie. |
The Muppet Clock wall ~ does anyone really know what time it is?![]() I believe in the power of laughter, the benefit of tears and the importance of a hug | |
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| HuskiesFan | Oct 6 2007, 01:36 PM Post #69 |
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Courtside, Row 1, Seat 1
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I feel your pain. When I was about 10, my family was visiting friends in Maine. I was off playing and when I returned, my older sibs were sitting up on this high stone wall....which of course I wanted to scale also. In my haste to conquer the wall and join them, I failed to notice the proper way up and ran around the house and up on the roof which one of the stairways led to. I ran full steam ahead into a hornet's nest and those little bastards called on their friends for reinforcement.... my Mom's best guess was that I got between 40 and 50 stings all over my head and body. Fortunately, at the time I wasn't allergic, just hurt like hell!!! Now if that were to happen, I'd probably be dead in about 15 minutes. |
| A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. | |
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| song_stress | Oct 6 2007, 02:30 PM Post #70 |
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the Mother of all that is FRAP
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Janet...PLease tell me you carry an Epi-pen?????? |
The Muppet Clock wall ~ does anyone really know what time it is?![]() I believe in the power of laughter, the benefit of tears and the importance of a hug | |
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| ekny | Oct 6 2007, 04:05 PM Post #71 |
In love with a prisoner
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Thanks guys, I'm fine today, just a little sore. I like the idea of the pampering & quiche though! (And yeah, I do know they'll follow you into the house or wherever--once their whatever-it's-called has been activated, it's like that's all they know how to do. Which is why I was so paranoid about getting out of the yard, which is why the Consequences of not mowing frequently enough biting me on the ass [or wrapping round my ankles anyway] were all a little heavy on the Ironic side, for me.)
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| Cassandra | Oct 6 2007, 07:01 PM Post #72 |
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Glad you are okay, ekny. Are yellowjackets what we call wasps in the UK or are they something even more vicious?Hope you've got a good plan for revenge. Personally I'd swap the cat for a raccoon or something. Though I'm not sure if you can train them to do gardening as well.
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| ekny | Oct 6 2007, 07:31 PM Post #73 |
In love with a prisoner
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You know, I'm not sure if yellowjackets are available in the UK, I was chatting with a friend about this recently & she seemed mystified as to what they were. They can only sting once: wasps can sting repeatedly. <shiver> And yes, the cat is quite content assuming she performed to spec (as always) and I am busy arguing she'd better act a little more doglike durn quick if she wants to continue to get nice treats like occasional dripping of fresh blood (from meat before cooking I hasten to add), etc. It's looking like a bit of a standoff at the moment. She's all, What? I bound eagerly to the door to greet you, I sit beside you whatever room you're in, how much more doglike could I be, huh? and I'm all, yeah but the last model killed things! and she's all, Hmph! Yes, she wasn't a purebred now was she, sniff and I'm like, Hey! rescue cat! Look who's talkin, mmm? ..& round we go. ![]() ps: Wiki has a short article with Helpful <shudder> photo. (I myself can't bear to read it.) North American. http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Yellow_Jackets |
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| HuskiesFan | Oct 6 2007, 07:37 PM Post #74 |
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Courtside, Row 1, Seat 1
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Used to, but haven't in a few years. I have an easier antidote that has no expiration date. I spent a fortune in EpiPen's that expired before ever being used. |
| A pessimist sees the difficulty in every opportunity; an optimist sees the opportunity in every difficulty. | |
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| Loon | Oct 6 2007, 09:28 PM Post #75 |
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Out of Dorm
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I am going to be a total nerd for just a second. *Re-adjusts tape on glasses* Bear with me a moment, these first two question might rate as somewhat creepy if taken out of context. First off ekny, is your house fairly drafty? You mentioned it was old, so I’m guessing that it’s not exactly on the cutting edge of energy efficiency. And second, did your battle with your herbaceous foe take you very near the exterior of your house at about the time of the incident? The reason why I am being so nosy is that while it is true that Yellowjacket activity should have mostly ceased by mid-September, if their nest happened to be located near your house it is conceivable that the ambient temperature in such a location could be great enough to sustain their activity well into November. It occurs to me that this information is of little use after the fact. Personally, I think that the next time you attempt to do any gardening you should make use of a suit of armor. Although, given your uncanny string of bad luck it seems likely that you’ll get caught out in the middle of a freak lightening storm. |
| "Keep smiling, it makes people wonder what you're up to." | |
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(And yeah, I do know they'll follow you into the house or wherever--once their whatever-it's-called has been activated, it's like that's all they know how to do. Which is why I was so paranoid about getting out of the yard, which is why the Consequences of not mowing frequently enough biting me on the ass [or wrapping round my ankles anyway] were all a little heavy on the Ironic side, for me.)
Glad you are okay, ekny. Are yellowjackets what we call wasps in the UK or are they something even more vicious?



8:49 AM Jul 11