| Welcome to Nikki And Helen. We hope you enjoy your visit. You're currently viewing our forum as a guest. This means you are limited to certain areas of the board and there are some features you can't use. If you join our community, you'll be able to access member-only sections, and use many member-only features such as customizing your profile, sending personal messages, and voting in polls. Registration is simple, fast, and completely free. Join our community! If you're already a member please log in to your account to access all of our features: |
| I Don't Even Feel Sad...; Part One: Helen's journal | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Oct 24 2010, 03:50 AM (6,758 Views) | |
| zena | Oct 30 2010, 01:16 PM Post #16 |
I said SIT IN THAT CHAIR
|
Well done, I'm really enjoying this. Great writing. |
![]() |
|
| mlbach | Oct 31 2010, 02:32 PM Post #17 |
|
Keys for the handcuffs!
|
Thanks to all who have replied and are enjoying this. I'm having great fun writing it. I even have the ending pretty much finished, but I've hit a sticking point which may take some time to work out. It's a problem in logic: assuming that Helen works from Monday to Friday, and court runs Monday to Friday, blah blah blah. Like those mind puzzles we all loved so much (*cough*). OK, I've decided to go with September, 2001. Scratch that--I'd forgotten about 9/11. I'm going back to the original time-line and am changing the dates (again) to reflect that. Sorry. |
![]() |
|
| obsessed with N&H | Nov 2 2010, 09:18 AM Post #18 |
Out of Dorm
|
Great start to this story. Can't wait to see how it unfolds! |
![]() |
|
| mlbach | Nov 8 2010, 02:24 PM Post #19 |
|
Keys for the handcuffs!
|
Wednesday, November 8th I saw Fenner pawing Maxi Purvis while he was shepherding the inmates in from the yard this morning. He, of course, denied any wrongdoing, and even had the brass to ask Thomas if he had seen anything. Unfortunately, Thomas hadn’t seen anything and said as much, causing me to second-guess myself. Fenner must have gone crying to Karen, because she came to my office to confront me, saying that if I continued with my campaign against “Jim,” I’d “have a battle” on my hands. God--I wish the woman would quit thinking with her glands! Thomas came to my office later to apologize for not being able to take my side against Fenner. I could hardly be angry that he is too highly principled to lie. I gave him the report I wrote on Fenner’s assault on me. Thomas believed me, was clearly outraged, and agreed to help me get Fenner out of Larkhall for good. It warmed my heart that he took my side so readily and wanted to help. I just wish I had something concrete to pursue. Shaz trashed her cell and Hollamby and Josh Mitchell brought her to see me. The similarities between this situation and that of Rachel Hicks were chilling. Hollamby, of course, didn’t see it—or if she sees it, she doesn’t care. Mitchell put in a good word for Shaz—he seems a good sort. I asked the two of them to leave so I could speak with Shaz alone. After they left, I tried to get through to her, but when I gently touched her arm she cried out in pain. How could I have been so stupid—Shaz was being bullied (more similarities to what happened to Rachel!). She was wearing the sweat suit to hide her bruises, not her thinness. I had Thomas examine her straight away, and he determined that someone has been kicking the shit out of her on a regular basis. Unfortunately, Shaz didn’t name any names, so I couldn’t discipline the person—or persons—responsible. And I certainly didn’t relish the thought of putting her in segregation for a week to keep her out of harm’s way. Thomas had a different solution, and maybe his will bring a more lasting improvement—for Shaz, anyway. He introduced her to another prisoner, Dionne, who is a kick-boxer, and she agreed to take Shaz under her wing and teach her self-defense. As Thomas said, that should help her with her lack of confidence and poor self-esteem. Ordinarily I wouldn’t condone prisoners learning how to beat each other up, but in this case, I think I will make an exception—I could see a definite improvement in her demeanor in just that first session. I really appreciate having Thomas as an ally in helping the women. I think we make a good team. In thanks for helping Shaz, I agreed to go to the dog races (!) with him. Honestly—what some people do for entertainment…! Still, he’s always good company. |
![]() |
|
| zena | Nov 8 2010, 03:05 PM Post #20 |
I said SIT IN THAT CHAIR
|
Great to see an update, Helen is getting stuck further into the web of denial, as fast as she runs she will never escape. More soonest please. |
![]() |
|
| mlbach | Nov 10 2010, 01:57 PM Post #21 |
|
Keys for the handcuffs!
|
Thursday, November 9th Yvonne Atkins slipped a note under my office door today while I was working. The note said that if I wanted to get something on Fenner, I should come talk with her. She had some interesting revelations for me, unfortunately they were all in the past, and one of them—that Fenner took a kick-back from Charlie Atkins to enable a conjugal visit—is unverifiable, since Atkins is now dead. However, she did say that Fenner was helping Virginia O’Kane run her brothels while she’s inside, and said she could get me a list of those establishments. At last I’ll have something concrete to pursue—I’ll be able to nail the bastard! Nikki was in the lifer’s group today. She looks as though she has lost some weight, and I could see dark areas under her eyes, even through her make-up. Her manner was very subdued, almost sheepish. I asked her to stay after the rest of the group left and encouraged her to keep her focus on her appeal and her up-coming OU exam. I wanted to let her know that even though we aren’t involved anymore, I am still her friend; I still want things to go well for her. I think she was a little more at ease by the time she left. Still having the dream... |
![]() |
|
| zena | Nov 10 2010, 03:42 PM Post #22 |
I said SIT IN THAT CHAIR
|
I think you have got Helen down to a t, great writing. thanks |
![]() |
|
| mlbach | Nov 11 2010, 12:48 AM Post #23 |
|
Keys for the handcuffs!
|
Friday, November 10th Yvonne Atkins finally gave me the list of O’Kane’s brothels. Tom and I sat outside one of them (Cleaverhill Road) for about an hour and a half before going to the dog races, but Fenner never showed. Tom bested me at picking winners, but who the hell races a lame dog? I had rashly bet him drinks that I would win, so we went to an offie where I bought a bottle and then went to his place. We talked for hours, and by the time we had nearly finished the bottle, Tom was getting sentimental and romantic and I was starting to feel as jumpy as a cat. I even knocked the bottle over--good thing it was tightly capped. Being with him feels so nice, so easy—why did I react that way? I wondered if it was because as No. 1 I am technically his supervisor. But if Karen isn’t worried about that with her relationship with Fenner, when she is his direct supervisor, I don’t see why I should be, when Tom is in a different department. If the time ever comes when I have to judge his performance, as Stubberfield did with Nicholson when Karen and I campaigned to get rid him, I should be able to recuse myself without difficulty. Anyway, we made love on his couch. It was very nice. He’s a generous lover, much better than Sean, and he isn’t crass when he talks about sex. He says “making love,” or “being together,” or "spending time with.” Sean always said “shag,” even though he knew how much I dislike the term—it’s no better than “boink,” and only somewhat better than “fuck.” I think he used to say it just to annoy me. I’m thinking about having a relationship with Tom. I know he wants one. He’s gorgeous-- again, unlike Sean, who was really a selfish sod too much of the time. He has a very nice body, which is amazing, considering his diet. I remember a mate at uni’ who was studying to be a nurse telling me that she had more classes in nutrition than the doctors did—which goes a long way in explaining the soda, chips and those sodding peanut butter and jam sandwiches. |
![]() |
|
| zena | Nov 11 2010, 03:54 PM Post #24 |
I said SIT IN THAT CHAIR
|
She seems pretty content, poor Nikki. Your writing is very very good thank you. |
![]() |
|
| mlbach | Nov 11 2010, 08:34 PM Post #25 |
|
Keys for the handcuffs!
|
Thanks, zena, but I don't think she's all that content. Saturday, November 11th Had the dream again last night. After I cleaned and straightened the flat, shopped for groceries and other necessaries, I looked up all of the addresses on Yvonne’s list and drove by half of them and scoped out their locations, possible parking spots, et.c. I quit when it got late enough in the afternoon for business to really start picking up. I plan do the rest tomorrow. I staked out Percival Street for a few hours. I could have sworn I saw Fenner—or someone who looked just like him—go in, but then never came out after nearly three hours. I finally gave up and left. I had dinner with Tom and then we made love again. He asked me to spend the night, but I have enough trouble sleeping at home without trying to sleep in a strange bed with someone else in bed with me—it’s been so long, I’ve gotten out of practice. Then, too, with those dreams I’ve been having, I don’t know if I’ll talk in my sleep, or twitch or…? I really don’t feel like explaining that dream to Tom. I’ll tell him all about my relationship with Nikki—someday, but not now. Sunday, November 12th I scoped out the rest of the brothels, and then staked out the Percival Street location from 7 to 11. Tom wanted to spend the evening together, but I begged off, because I have work tomorrow. I suppose I should be flattered that he wants to spend so much time with me, but I find myself getting annoyed when it interferes with my campaign against Fenner. It would help if he were more on board with it, but I think he just views the whole thing as an impediment to our being together. Monday, November 13th Nikki made it to the lifer’s group again. Before our session started, Tom came by to give me some paperwork I had asked for earlier. I noticed Nikki watching him go, and then she looked at me. There was no change in her expression and she didn’t say anything, but I sensed that she knew we had been together. I almost wanted her to stay after the session and ask me about it so I could tell her truthfully, but she didn’t stay, she didn’t ask, and I didn’t tell her, bloody coward that I am. Why should I be afraid to tell her? We’re both free agents, now. I sat outside Fellows Lane from 8 to 11:30 pm, but Fenner never showed. Maybe I would do better to follow his car than to stake out the brothels, but he’d probably spot my car—a red Peugeot is pretty obvious. I suppose we could go in Tom’s car, but he can barely stand to do the stakeouts—I don’t think he’d be up for tailing another car. I’m not sure I’d be up for it. I also thought of sitting outside the same brothel every night for however long it takes for Fenner to show up, but I’d run into the same problem of having a distinctive car—someone would be bound to notice that it's been in the area for however many nights in a row, and tip Fenner off. I’ll just have to keep plugging away with what I’m doing and hope for a break. It’s not like I have anything compelling to occupy my time. My mind has been so scattered lately, I can’t enjoy reading. I haven’t been sleeping well, and when I do sleep, I have that same sodding dream every night. The only thing that keeps me going is my mission to nail Jim bloody Fenner to the wall. It will be my gift to the women of Larkhall. |
![]() |
|
| zena | Nov 12 2010, 12:33 AM Post #26 |
I said SIT IN THAT CHAIR
|
Thanks for the quick updates,I'm on the edge of my seat waiting for Nikki to find out about Tom. |
![]() |
|
| mlbach | Nov 12 2010, 03:04 AM Post #27 |
|
Keys for the handcuffs!
|
Oh, she knows, zena. She knows. |
![]() |
|
| obsessed with N&H | Nov 12 2010, 10:27 AM Post #28 |
Out of Dorm
|
Great story, keep it coming! |
![]() |
|
| mlbach | Nov 12 2010, 02:47 PM Post #29 |
|
Keys for the handcuffs!
|
Tuesday, November 14th I shouldn’t be so hard on Thomas for not being as anxious as I am to nail Fenner. I can think of only two people who would be—Yvonne Atkins and Nikki, and unfortunately (or fortunately) I can’t take either one of them with me. Wouldn’t that be something, though, if I could take one of them with me—or, even better, if I could take them both? I can just imagine Jim bloody Fenner coming out of one of O’Kane’s brothels and seeing the three of us standing there, like the three witches from Macbeth, or three furies. No—like the three Gorgons—his balls would definitely turn to stone! Tom called me tonight and we talked for about an hour. I’d kind of forgotten that that’s what lovers do on the phone, after so many months of Nikki calling me and barely saying anything at all, in case someone was listening in. Sometimes we just sat and breathed together. That sounds stupid in retrospect, but at the time it was very fulfilling. Tom agreed to come with me tomorrow night and Thursday night. I hope to god Fenner shows up. Wednesday, November 15th I was walking through G1 on my way to the PO’s office, and I could have sworn I felt someone staring at me from above. I felt sure it was Nikki, so I didn’t look up. Staked out the sauna at Percival Street with Tom, from 7 to 12. Fenner didn’t show. Thursday, November 16th I didn’t have the dream last night, for the first time in—I don’t know how long. (I could check back entries in my journal, but that seems like too much work right now—I’m that tired.) Maybe that means that I’m not so worried about Nikki anymore. She looked much better when I saw her today in the lifer’s group—she even smiled at me a little. I think that’s the first time I’ve seen her smile since I broke up with her. I saw Yvonne Atkins go into Nikki’s potting shed with her this afternoon, but she wasn’t there much more than 5 minutes or so. I would approve of a relationship between the two of them—it’s a pity Yvonne is straight. Although, if anyone could make a straight woman rethink her sexuality, it would be Nikki Wade. Staked out the sauna at Manitoba Street with Tom from 8 to 12. Fenner didn’t show. |
![]() |
|
| zena | Nov 12 2010, 03:05 PM Post #30 |
I said SIT IN THAT CHAIR
|
She is starting to feel comfortable isn't she? I'm waiting for the hammer to fall. Thanks for the update. |
![]() |
|
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · R / 18 rated On Going Stories · Next Topic » |







8:47 AM Jul 11