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Toying with Regrets
Topic Started: Nov 25 2011, 01:56 AM (732 Views)
Kaius Dei
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Kaius watched her with keen blue eyes, noting the differences that had taken shape and grown in her. Despite all of the years it seemed Lydia had forced upon her, her eyes were younger somehow. He questioned that naivete, wondering how it was she'd survived so many scathing relationships - regardless of what she called them, they were simply very short-lived relationships - without slowly becoming herself. And yet, this new fight for freedom was giving her the opportunity she'd denied in the past. A brief flicker of doubt crossed his mind; what right did he think he had to force her into something like this? What made him think that he could make her love him through sheer persistence? The doubt was startling, but he shoved it aside.

Now that she was actually taking the time to think about what she was saying to him, patience came so much easier. Silence came so much easier. Listening was perhaps the easiest of all, because now he wanted to hear her and all her words even if they weren't what he wanted to hear. She nodded in agreement, and he didn't say anything further. That would come in time. The breath that left her when he twined their fingers together was enough to tell him that it wouldn't matter. As long as they had each other without secrets, they would be alright. The sound made him smile and he squeezed her fingers in his again.

His smile grew into a grin at her words. "Well, you always have been ridiculously tolerant of that stupidity," he replied. Gods, not fighting was amazing. It was so wonderful just to have a conversation with her that didn't involve someone becoming someone else's bitch. The embarrassment that chased her hands over her face as he continued made him smirk just slightly as he spoke. The way she looked up at him made him want to kiss her and never stop. Her answer though, made his heart skip a beat and his expression light up despite his serious attitude that followed.

"Seriously as in: when we are done playing these parts, there won't be any more Artemises, no random flings with others, or trying to dominate each other. It's just you and me, together until we can't stand each other anymore. No one else, no more parts, no more family bullshit. Just us." He didn't know how she'd take his answer, but he hoped to the gods above and below that she'd agree.
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Cynthia Deville
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Cynthia didn't even try to stop the grin from appearing on her face at his reply, shaking her head at him, or perhaps at herself. The world had to be coming to its end if she heard words like tolerant and herself in the same sentence. But she supposed he was right - not that the same thing couldn't be said about him. She studied his face for a moment longer, taking in his features and those blue eyes of his that had always drawn her in, seemingly from the first moment on in which she had laid eyes on him. She really was in love with him - no matter how alien that thought still sounded in her head, she knew it to be the truth. The way his face lit up at her answer made her feel warm inside, yet it was quickly followed by another, less pleasant, feeling: doubt. Of all the people Kaius could have fallen in love with, he'd fallen in love with the one that was the worst kind of girlfriend-material one could have asked for. How long until she was liable to fuck this up?

She shoved that thought away as hard as she could, annoyed at that sudden flash of insecurity. Kaius' words managed to draw her away from that topic completely as she realized that he was indeed being serious. She looked at him in silence for a moment, remembering the way she had tried to get him off her mind only hours earlier. The truth was even when trying, she couldn't seem to look at anybody else but him, much less touch anyone. Just us. When all this was over, it would just be them. The thought made her heart skip a beat. "I would like that very much," she said softly, honestly. Despite her words, she couldn't help but swallow, her fingers playing with his for a moment. Exhaling sharply, she realized she had lowered her gaze to watch their intertwined fingers and moved her gaze back up to meet his.

She didn't want to ruin this but - "Can you do that though?" she asked, her voice quieter than before. "I mean - do you really want that? Obviously we're both not exactly champions when it comes to being exclusive. I mean, I know I've never bothered to try." She laughed a little. How could she? She had no experience whatsoever concerning relationships. "But.. I guess what I'm trying to say is.. are you really willing to give that up.. for me?"
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Kaius Dei
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The grin that crossed Cynthia's lips was excellent; the elation Kaius felt from that alone was something he'd almost lost when he lost Jace. Sure, hell was freezing over somewhere and he should be strapping on snowshoes for their agreement about tolerance, but it was nice nonetheless. He saw that elation reflected in her, though it was followed by something much darker and quite pesky. Doubt had never been anything he simply let take hold of him, but he supposed that had been how he was raised. Did he want this to go awry? No. Would it? Probably. But he'd let that come and take what they could manage together. It didn't matter to him if they were going down a path that might not be the most stable; love wasn't like that in any way that he knew.

Her answer made him smile, it was so soft and honest. Though, she swallowed afterward - a tell that he'd long since learned meant apprehension. She played with his fingers for a moment and he returned the gesture. Then came the sharp exhalation - another warning sign - and looked up at him. He knew there was a but coming. And from the looks of it, it was a big one. Still, he waited and listened, carefully watching her expression as she spoke. Could he do that? Could he give up all his other conquests and pursuits for her? Oh, he was certain he could. He did notice, however, that she had to correct herself and restate it; did that mean she'd already done this? He drew her hand to his lips and kissed it softly.

"I know I'm. . . well, let's face it, I'm a relentless slut. But aside from Heller, whom I'm pretty much forced to be with, I've been with one other person since this summer. And he's so. . . virginal that I don't know he'll be able to tolerate more than a one night stand at this point. So, yes, I'll be able to give everything up for you. And I'm willing to do that, otherwise I'd have never said anything in the first place." He leaned forward to kiss her forehead. "Is that okay? I mean, if it's too much of a commitment, I understand. But I'd like to try."
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Cynthia Deville
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The relief that swept over her as Kaius let her speak, listening with an intent expression on his face, chased away her momentary doubts. Even though she knew that his earlier remarks had been made out of anger and despair, she hadn't been entirely sure if her hesitation wouldn't make that anger, that impatience reappear again. Perhaps they really could make this work as long as they were willing to hear the other out. The way he drew her hand to his lips and kissed it did funny things to her, it made her wonder why she had always condemned happiness when it felt like this.

A soft laugh escaped her as he called himself a slut and even though her expression turned serious at the mention of Heller, it didn't make her want to strike out like the previous few times she'd heard that name falling off his lips. She listened to him in silence, feeling suddenly glad that jealousy did not flare up inside of her at the mention of that one other person he had been with it. And, really, how could it after the words that followed? She swallowed, clearly moved by him, and again wondered how she could have ever felt disgust at what he felt for her. But, and she stated this with relief in her very heart and mind, that was no longer the case - quite the opposite, in fact -, which meant that perhaps one day she could really be free of her mother completely. She could just be herself.

As he leaned forward to kiss her forehead, Cynthia didn't bother stopping herself from what she really wanted to do, instead tilting her head up to catch his lips with her own, the hand that wasn't intertwined with his coming up to slide over his cheek and cradle him against her for the duration of the kiss. Slowly she pulled away enough to be able to look at him. "I love you," she replied firmly, the tone of her voice warm, "I really don't care about anyone else. I don't want anyone else." She paused for a moment, her words becoming quieter. "And I'm not scared of commitment. Not after everything that has happened."
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Kaius Dei
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The way his want to hear her out chased the doubt from his face was damn near awe inspiring. He'd not been able to see that sort of change in someone's expression since Jace. It made him giddy, almost, with the possibilities the future could hold for them. He had hope that they could make this work. That they would make this work. Or, perhaps even better, it would just work without them having to make it. Kaius found himself kissing her hand again and again, wanting to kiss more than just those delicate bones. But the pitch wasn't a place for that when their mutual problems hovered so near.

He smiled at the laugh that left her and was immensely pleased when she didn't turn into a vengeance bent harpy at the mention of Heller. It was nice to know that even in the gap that had separated them, there had really only been them - even if Kaius was a relentless slut with little care at the time. But, that was something she already knew. He wondered briefly if she hadn't gotten angry because it wasn't with another woman? She swallowed and he focused on her again, an almost serene smile on his lips. Yes, this was what he wanted.

Cynthia intercepted him, and Kaius found himself kissing her again, tasting her lips and running his fingers through her hair. The feel of her made him murmur against the kiss, and he followed her just a moment as she pulled away, obviously not ready to stop yet. "I love you, too," he whispered back, nuzzling against her cheek with his nose. He couldn't seem to get rid of this smile that had attached itself to his face. He hadn't smiled so much in so long that his face was beginning to hurt. "Good, because I don't want anyone else either." And it was true. There wasn't anyone else he wanted. Even if he did, it wasn't like this.

Kaius pulled back a moment, reaching up to unclasp one of the bracelets from his wrist. It had been one that meant something to him, one that he'd never let the rest of his family see because then they might See. It was simple, black leather braided between two silver clasps. It had been something Jace had given him and told to keep until someone else should have it. "I know that it doesn't fit with everything else you wear, but I'd like you to have it. It's not as obvious as a necklace or a ring, so it won't draw as much attention."
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Cynthia Deville
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His kisses on her hand were distracting as they ghosted over her skin, making her want to shiver. She didn't pull away and instead found herself wanting to give into his touch and ask for more. Releasing a soft breath as if to keep herself in check, her eyes found his face again and all she could do as he smiled was to smile back at him ever so slightly, her lips twitching upwards. When he kissed her again, she turned into him, meeting his lips, then didn't resist to catch his bottom-lip between her teeth, grazing over the soft skin for a moment.

He followed her, his fingers in her hair making her gasp softly as she tilted her head backwards slightly to prolong the sensation of his fingers against her skull. When they managed to pull their lips away from each other, she couldn't help exhaling in slight frustration. It had been too long, all she wanted to do was feel him.

Kaius nuzzled against her and it tickled her a little, causing her lips to twitch yet again. His words only added to that feeling of happiness and relief in her chest, making her run her fingers through his thick dark strands in return, breathing him in. Once he pulled back, Cynthia reluctantly let go of him, then followed the movement of his hand with her eyes. She looked at the bracelet for a long moment, even after he had already spoken, then drew her gaze back up to meet his. A little overwhelmed, she couldn't speak for a moment, so she simply drew up the sleeve of her robe slightly to bare her left wrist with Diara around it. "I'm sure she'll like the company," she finally replied softly and couldn't help but lean forward again to kiss him briefly. "Thank you," she murmured against his lips, then swallowed as she gave herself a little push, "for everything, I mean."
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Kaius Dei
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Kaius continued to kiss over her hands, even after they'd confessed their feelings to each other again. She'd taken his gift and clasped it around her wrist, though she'd done so slowly. Slow was how they did everything tonight, it seemed. She spoke of Diara, and Kaius reached out to run his fingers along the stone snake's back. "I'm sure she will. Feel free to take the bracelet off, I won't be offended if you do." They still had their parts to play, after all.

As if sensing his thoughts, a deep red light winked into existence to relay a message to him. Heller's voice came out of the interrupting ball of light, informing him that he was late and that Heller would be sore if he needed to come looking for him. Kaius sighed, then looked at Cynthia. "You're welcome." He pressed another kiss to her temple before tightening his arms around her and drawing them both to their feet.

"If I don't go now, things will be bad. I'll leave it up to you to decide when we next meet." Kaius released her, then leaned down to kiss her good night. "I love you," he whispered against her lips. Then he turned and strode into the darkness beyond the pitch.
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