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| [Approved]Setsuka | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Mar 9 2012, 06:00 AM (511 Views) | |
| Kazu | Mar 9 2012, 06:00 AM Post #1 |
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Character Registration Template Account Name: Kazu At A Glance Name: Setsuka Alias: Setsuka Affiliation:Pirate Profession: Gambler Vessel: N/A Reputation: No threat Age: 24 Gender: Female Race: Kuja Hometown: Amazon Lily Appearance Height: 5'6" Weight: 52 kg Physical Description: Setsuka has long brown hair and light brown eyes. She wears her hair in two buns. Clothing & Accessories: She mostly wears a red kimono which shows her shoulders and cleavage, she is usually seen wearing a high heeled boot alongside the kimono. She has a hairpiece from her grandma and she tends to put it on her hair and she ends up looking like a geisha. She is never seend without wearing makeups. Around unknown people she tends to be bit egoistic and underestimating men mostly. Picture: ![]() Biography Personality: Setsuka is a rather stoic and calm person, she only socialise with people she finds worth of speaking to. So she tends to be a bit egoistic and full of herself. However her weakness is attactive young man...she can't do anything if she has to fight against them. If she makes mistakes she usually tries to act cute to make people forgive her easily. She loves treasures and gold. History: Setsuka was raised and born in Amazon Lilly. Ever since she was born all that she wished was to be a Kuja pirate, becuase she always loved the parades that they were given when they arrived from a long journey. Ever since she was a small child she was training hard to fit the qualifications of a Kuja Pirate but unfortunately it never happened the tribe thought she was lacking the beauty. After they told her mistakes she decided to do everything in order to be Beautiful, That was the time when she started wearing make-ups, her outfits getting much more revaling. Now all that she wishes that after the many years of traning she took up will be worth enough to be a part of the pirates. Combat Primary Fighting Style * Ugetsu Shinouchi : She uses her umbrella and sword, she tends to emphasise her beauty&body in fights against men.Her fighting style consists of fast attacks mostly. Weaponry Weapon Name: Ugetsu Kageutchi Grade: Standard Description: This weapon looks like a normal umbrella, but it isn't, it has a blade hidden into it. The weapon is made mostly by her on Amazon Lily. Price: 0 (Starter Weapon)Adventure Log Items Stats Strength: 6 Stamina: 8 Speed:10 Perception: 8 Will: 4 Stat Points Earned: 0/0 Beli Earned: 500,000/500,000 Sources Traits Patience(3 traits, left for later use) Devil Fruit Name: Not yet Devil Fruit Type: Not yet Devil Fruit Ability: Not yet Techniques: Used Technique Points/MaximumTechnique Points Oiran Rising Kick - Rank 1 Type: Offensive Range: Close Stats: None Setsuka goes near to her enemies and performs a kick to the chin of her enemies Sakura Slash - Rank 4 Type: Offensive Range: Close Stats: None Setsuka sprints forward and swings a fast blow to her enemies Snow Gate - Rank 3 Type: Offensive Range: Close Stats: None Setsuka grabs the opponent and throws them on the other side Edited by Kazu, Mar 12 2012, 02:40 PM.
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| Strider Xan | Mar 9 2012, 03:06 PM Post #2 |
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Profession I don't mind a job description, it makes sense for certain titles to explain what it refers to for your character, but it's not a place to list two of your characters skills. You would put one or two job occupations that best describe the skills your character has, such as "Doctor", "Carpenter", "Hitman", "Escort", etc. It becomes important when dealing with traits and specialist techniques, so you and approving mods can be clear as to what is within your character's realms to learn. Physical Description Add a sentence or two more about her features, facial features, expressions, natural ticks maybe History I'm fine with her coming from Amazon Lily, but there is an establishment within the Amazon Lily culture: Power is Beauty. In all fairness, your character is a starter and so is somewhat too 'ugly' to be in the Amazon Lily pirate crew. My advice would be to pull it back a bit. The currently Arc Event will give you a great chance to RP becoming a Kuja Pirate fairly quick. Limit your history to her growing up on Amazon Lily and wanting to be a Kuja pirate, then RP the rest. ...On the subject of starter characters... Stats A character that is doesn't have a source only has the base 32 stats with none earned. I have absolutely no idea where your additional 100 has come from. Ironically, 10+15+20+20 doesn't even total 100, never mind 100 earned. And additionally even if all else was correct such stats wouldn't give you a Will of 4. At this point, I can't tell if you're missing a link (to qualify for the character transition in the ARC Event) or a bad read through of the rules. Techniques At this point in time, I don't want to critique to heavy in your techs since you'll need to clear up your stats first anyway, but your descriptions are generally unclear. In Kasa-Keri I can't tell if Setsuka attacks with the sword at any point or not. Is she meant to open up her sword? Is it supposed to confuse the enemy? I do actually get the idea behind Hissatsu Bachi but I question how effective your umbrella will be when you throw it in the air. The umbrella itself doesn't pose a threat. It may work on the occasional sufferer of ADHD but most won't be distracted by it a falling umbrella in conflict any more than a bird flying over head. If you threw the umbrella opened out at your opponent then I could run with that. That being said, throwing the umbrella would be a supportive technique by itself. This tech needs to be more specific. Detail about what kind of attack you are block, or how she is using her umbrella/sword to block needs to be listed. Additionally, say what the side-step is for. Is she strafing for the sake of strafing, is she trying to advance on the enemy, is she trying to move out of range of a particular kind of attack? |
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| Kazu | Mar 9 2012, 09:19 PM Post #3 |
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Thanks for the help Well about her techniques I wasn't sure what to write since..in the end I want her to be a fighter like who mostly depends on her Devil Fruit than fighting with a weapon...but I'll think I'll update her movesAbout her Kuja stuff I'll edit it then but since I made her in her mid twenties I tought it might be okay if she is in the piratecrew but well, then I'll edit it =) About the stats sorry I have sometimes an understanding problemxD whenever I try to understand something that is important I always mess up.-- and not understand anything after the 20th re-reading xD I think I just wrote a number of 100 therexD not sure about the reasonsxD I'm really thankful for your help in pointing out some kind of weird things I'll do my best in editing it
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| Strider Xan | Mar 9 2012, 11:55 PM Post #4 |
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The 32 stats you start with are the Base. That means you haven't earned them which means your SP earned is 0/0. Additionally, you don't need techs, you can free form until you get your fruit. That being said, since your Will is 4, your Technique points will be 16 (Will * 4) and no tech can be higher rank than 4. |
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| Kazu | Mar 10 2012, 10:12 AM Post #5 |
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edited
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| Strider Xan | Mar 10 2012, 03:11 PM Post #6 |
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Sakura Slash is a hit and run move; Setsuka dashes at the opponent and slashes them as she passes, sheathing the sword afterwards. If that's the case, it's rank 8 upwards, which means at the moment, you can't have it was is. Additionally ,you can't write in to the tech "the opponent falls", as if it's an automatic K.O. move, primarily because it isn't. Snow Gate will need to be split up into at least two moves. You can have one or more defensive tech (i.e. setsuka blocking an attack with her sword.) and a counter move which follows on from a successful block. And as I said before, these techniques need to be specific. |
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| Kazu | Mar 10 2012, 09:22 PM Post #7 |
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well In fall I meant not an instant KO, but I'll edit it then to be a "weaker" attack and then the defensive won't have the counter attack then sorry for the problems lolxD |
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| Strider Xan | Mar 11 2012, 11:13 PM Post #8 |
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Your Fighting Style needs to be reworded, it's looking a little bad at the moment. Other than that it's looking good. |
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| Kazu | Mar 12 2012, 02:41 PM Post #9 |
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I edited the fight style
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| Strider Xan | Mar 13 2012, 07:22 PM Post #10 |
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Congratulations! Your character profile has been fully approved. Check the signature template to represent this newly approved character in your signature. All the best! |
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0 (Starter Weapon)



Well about her techniques I wasn't sure what to write since..in the end I want her to be a fighter like who mostly depends on her Devil Fruit than fighting with a weapon...but I'll think I'll update her moves

12:15 AM Jul 11







