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Gog Vs. Alaster; Battle on the Tyrant tower
Topic Started: Jul 21 2007, 12:26 AM (366 Views)
Dei Ex Machinis
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As Gog traveled up the ever-winding tower he wondered if this structure was meant for giants. It easily could support his weight, had steps made just the right size- not too small and not waaaay too small- and, most importantly of all it was BIG. It was gigantic it was...

"Giant," the giant breathed, this thought getting expelled from his head in an explosive breath of frost. It was getting kind of cold up here- he wondered if the mushrooms that were rumored to grow on top of the tower were frost resistant and wondered if he could manage to get them to breed with other mushrooms. He hadn't had success yet in any of his experiments but he could always hope.

As his thoughts started moving on to more pleasant avenues in order for him to take his mind off the cold, he started to forget his childhood-trained instincts of looking at his feet. It was instinct drilled into him ever after he accidentally stepped on Daddy's pet lion (and broke said lions four feet) and- as his parents told him- it proved to be a bad idea.

He heard a tinkling sound and lifted his foot, noticing a small sticky sensation as well as a smell... alcohol. He looked down at his feet and noticed a human.

"Sorry," he said, and then as way of apology he laughed. "KERSHISHISHI. I wasn't looking where I was going."
A simple Mushroom Hunter: Gog N. Magog
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Magimonk
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The Magical Monk of Yore: A Revolutionary
This was a bust. How ironic that in his search for his old crew member that held the mark of The Fool, he was the one fooled into heading up this massive tower. The Fool was supposed to be on the tenth floor. Alaster was probably on the twentieth or something by now. He had stopped to take a break with one of his favorite bottles of wine. He always felt like a bum sipping it from the bottle itself, but no one was around, so he didn't think it mattered.

He set the bottle down and looked over the edge of the tower. There was no other way down besides the stairs. A loud shaking noise suddenly thrust him back into the real world. The sound of glass shattering caused him to flip around only to see a giant crush his wine bottle under his foot. Alaster's eye winced as the giant apologized, "You do realize that bottle cost me 5,000 beri sir. I simply can't let you go after this."

Alaster put his Viper Gauntlet on and loaded some weak acid into the shoulder. It's been a while since he was this angry.
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The Fortunata
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Dei Ex Machinis
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"KERSHISHISHI!" The giant laughed, the rumbling sound echoing off the walls and bouncing along the tower like some sort of blind duck trying to fly. A blind, _drunk_ duck trying to fly. "It's been a long time since I've been called 'sir'," the giant said, in between his laughs. "I'm Gog, Gog the mushroom hunter."

He looked down at the human below him.

"I'm not going to stop you..." the giant said- only slightly more seriously if the twinkle in his eye was anything to judge him by-, as he walked up yet another step, ignoring the stranger's menacing motions, "but do think it through. Life is too short! Especially for people like us!" Popping a mushroom into his mouth he then said:

"Knock, knock!"
A simple Mushroom Hunter: Gog N. Magog
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Magimonk
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The Magical Monk of Yore: A Revolutionary
Alaster grinned. Just another cocky giant. He had seen Vain take down tons of giants before. They did have the physical advantage, but the winner was the one who came up with the better strategy. He loosened up his arm inside the gauntlet. Alaster lifted up his arm and pointed it at Gog, claws first. He clasped his other hand around the elbow of the Viper Gauntlet and glared at the giant, "Well, it's only fair to introduce myself as well. My name is Alaster Vien, a dead man walking. Shall we get this over with then?"

He began shuffling towards the giant, wobbling to and fro, waiting for the massive being to make the first move.

(( Since Alaster was framed for killing his former marine captain Donavon Vain, Gog may know something of it. He would probably think Alaster was guilty.))
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The Fortunata
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Dei Ex Machinis
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While Gog was probably the most experienced and knowledgeable mushroom hunter alive on this side of the sea, he was hopelessly naive like most of those who had dreams that were usually larger than life.

"A dead man, really?" Gog asked, somewhat excited. One could tell he was excited by the fact that he wasn't laughing. "How did you... no... ummm... ah, that explains why you didn't get the joke!" He said, his hand hitting his open palm as if realizing a simple answer to an incredibly difficult question.

He put a big index finger. "Well, since you forgot from your previous life, a 'knock knock joke' involves the answerer answering 'Who's there?' after the joker (me) says 'knock knock'..."

"Now let's try again: Knock knock..."
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Magimonk
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"A knock knock joke? You see, I have a bit of a problem with that...but I'll play along friend."

Alaster lowered his body a bit with both the gauntlet and his right arm rested on his knees. His arms wobbled back and forth. For a moment it appeared as though he was going to lose his balance and fall over himself. He put up his right hand and waved Gog forward, "Alright sir, who's there?"
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The Fortunata
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Dei Ex Machinis
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Gog was already chuckling to himself as he ambled on over, sitting down on the step in front of Alaster. It was clear that he was trying to speak, but by the time he sat down he was laughing so hard that tears were coming out of his eyes.

"ShishiShi... Ker..."

Finally managing to pull himself together the giant said, with a big smile on his face:

"Cowsgo."

Then he started laughing again.
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Magimonk
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Alaster's amusement over the situation started to fade. He had a feeling that if he answered the joke right now, something even more ridiculous would happen. He may as well play along with it. He stood up, still wobbling to and fro debating whether to just complete the joke or not.

He finally decided, "I have a feeling I already know the answer...but let's just finish this...Cowsgo who?"
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The Fortunata
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Dei Ex Machinis
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"Not cows go who... cows go Mooo!" The giant said, tearing up even more as he laughed uproariously. This time the laughter boomed like some dormant volcano come to life and though the ground did not shake- a true testament to the ingenuity of whoever had built this structure but above him there came the cawing of birds and a faint trickle of snow as something gave way.

Then a four foot icicle shattered, not a foot away from Gog. The giant, predictably, laughed even harder, causing more icicles to fall.
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Magimonk
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Alaster's eye winced. The joke was as bad as he thought it was going to be. He leaned back and realized some of the icicles were falling from the ceiling. Alaster leaped out of the way and made his way towards the giant. He had to stop the man from laughing to prevent the entire ice sheet above them from caving down upon them. Alaster avoided a few icicles then chucked a empty vial at the giant's face.

He yelled, "Heads up sir, you better start paying attention."
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Showing remarkable dexterity- or perhaps just blind luck- the giant managed to move his head in just the right manner to have the teeny tiny vial stuck in his left nostril. Being a giant, he didn't even notice it at first and was about to ask Alaster if there was a dragon or something coming from the sky to roast them all where they stood or if he was about to show Gog his very own joke (while disappointed, Gog wasn't horribly surprised Alaster wasn't laughing. Mommy had always said that it was hard to make dead men laugh) but then he sneezed.

The vial came spinning out of his nose covered in a at least a kilogram heavy wad of snot and... unfortunately, seemed to be aimed directly for Alaster's face.
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Magimonk
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The vial wasn't meant to phase the giant at all, only to get his attention, but he didn't think it would cause the giant to fire a blast of body fluid...or gel at him. Alaster landed and bounded out of the way in a leap frog fashion. When he pulled himself to his feet, Alaster pointed his gauntlet at the giant like he did earlier, "Do I happen to have your attention now sir? I do hope you stop laughing."

Alaster wobbled forward, swaying side to side. He was ready to attack and was itching to make the first move.
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The Fortunata
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"One should never stop laughing," the giant said solemnly as if quoting from some holy tome. Then he laughed again, causing yet more icicles to crash down onto the ground around them. "You are an ever so interesting dead person." Cracking his neck, the giant finally climbed laboriously to his feet, and at his twenty feet height, made Alaster look like some small child.

"Mommy told me that fighting was a bad thing, but you're not the type to laugh without battle are you?"

"Well a patient for every cure- or is it a cure for every patient?- as my poppa used to say." The giant said, cracking his fists together. "Ready?"

Without missing a beat, the giant jumped straight up into the air... and then down towards the fight-ready chemist.
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Magimonk
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Alaster leaped out of the way as the giant came crashing down behind him. After regaining his composure, Alaster spun around and grinned, "Sorry, but it's been years since I last laughed. And no bad jokes or references to your parents will change that now. Now, En Guarde!"

Alaster lowered his body and rushed towards the giant. He outstretched the palm of his gauntlet and thrusted it forward while pulling his other arm back. His grin grew wider, "Don't worry, this will only hurt for a moment."
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The Fortunata
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"The frown's been turned upside down!" Gog announced cheerfully, as he readied himself for another massive leap. As icicles started to rain down towards them in earnest due to the minor shockwave of having one or two odd tons slamming down on a very compact point he reconsidered.

"Wait... bad jokes? KERSHISHISHISHI... So you must know some good ones! Tell me! Tell me!"

Standing around as he was- Gog was pretty much open to attack- but his eyes roved, keeping track of the battlefield as it were. Through his head spun the various scenarios of him jumping- and then falling- off the tower by accident. It wouldn't be a pretty sight. Or at least the end wouldn't. He imagined that the interim between flight and death would be quite exciting.

A voice in his head told him to stop daydreaming and when he did he saw...
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