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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,812 Views) | |
| caissier | Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467 Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011 There was an old hero called Ajax who certainly lived life to the max His fighting was mythic His muscles terrythic From the years he'd spent building haystacks. Now they're gunning for poor old Brock Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 18 2012, 10:17 AM Post #2 |
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Now they're gunning for poor old Brock His life isn't worth an old sock ........................ .......................... ....................................................... |
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| tafkaj | Sep 18 2012, 02:11 PM Post #3 |
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Now they're gunning for poor old Brock - His life isn't worth an old sock; ........................ But damn you, Brian May, ....................................................... |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 18 2012, 03:09 PM Post #4 |
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Now they're gunning for poor old Brock - His life isn't worth an old sock; He infects cows, they say But damn you, Brian May, ....................................................... |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 18 2012, 08:23 PM Post #5 |
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Now they're gunning for poor old Brock - His life isn't worth an old sock; He infects cows, they say But damn you, Brian May, You're wearing my second best frock Mr. Toad was a lively old fellow |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 18 2012, 10:46 PM Post #6 |
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Mr. Toad was a lively old fellow And played a mean tune on his cello |
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| Mobson | Sep 19 2012, 08:53 AM Post #7 |
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Mr. Toad was a lively old fellow And played a mean tune on his cello he puffed up with pride |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 19 2012, 10:49 AM Post #8 |
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Mr. Toad was a lively old fellow And played a mean tune on his cello he puffed up with pride When he went for a ride |
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| Caro | Sep 19 2012, 11:02 AM Post #9 |
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Mr. Toad was a lively old fellow And played a mean tune on his cello he puffed up with pride When he went for a ride And let out a great boastful bellow. But pride comes before a great fall |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 19 2012, 01:31 PM Post #10 |
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But pride comes before a great fall And fall he did, off a high wall |
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| Mobson | Sep 20 2012, 10:46 AM Post #11 |
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But pride comes before a great fall And fall he did, off a high wall His body all broken |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 20 2012, 10:57 AM Post #12 |
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But pride comes before a great fall And fall he did, off a high wall His body all broken but he's got his gift token |
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| Mobson | Sep 20 2012, 01:14 PM Post #13 |
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But pride comes before a great fall And fall he did, off a high wall His body all broken but he's got his gift token to help redecorate Toad Hall! ************************ Once again he's a lively old fellow |
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| Caro | Sep 20 2012, 09:41 PM Post #14 |
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Once again he's a lively old fellow And for a while his friends feel all mellow |
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| Mobson | Sep 21 2012, 08:47 AM Post #15 |
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Once again he's a lively old fellow And for a while his friends feel all mellow but Toad is distressed Edited by Mobson, Sep 21 2012, 08:47 AM.
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 21 2012, 10:00 AM Post #16 |
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Once again he's a lively old fellow And for a while his friends feel all mellow but Toad is distressed As is easily guessed |
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| Caro | Sep 21 2012, 10:01 AM Post #17 |
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Once again he's a lively old fellow And for a while his friends feel all mellow but Toad is distressed The weasels make jest |
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| tafkaj | Sep 21 2012, 11:32 AM Post #18 |
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Once again he's a lively old fellow, And for a while his friends feel all mellow; But Toad is distressed, The weasels make jest Of his belly that wobbles like jello. ****************************************** Andrew Mitchell's an important man ----------------------------------------- ------------------------------ ------------------------------ ----------------------------------------- |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 21 2012, 12:08 PM Post #19 |
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Andrew Mitchell's an important man Although I can't say that I'm a fan |
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| Caro | Sep 21 2012, 10:11 PM Post #20 |
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Andrew Mitchell's an important man Although I can't say that I'm a fan He let loose with his tongue [My sympathies here are with Mr Mitchell (who I hadn't heard of before this fracas) - most irritating to be forbidden to do something you've done lots of times before, by what often seem to be jumped-up officials using their authority. Not the best timing, though.] |
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| Mobson | Sep 22 2012, 09:32 AM Post #21 |
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Had two incidents yesterday with my train pass and my bus pass! Both times was told I could not use them on their transport! Bollocks is what I should have said....Balderdash is what I actually said! ....(love Rumpold for that!) Andrew Mitchell's an important man Although I can't say that I'm a fan He let loose with his tongue He's sure to be hung Edited by Mobson, Sep 22 2012, 09:35 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 22 2012, 10:33 AM Post #22 |
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Andrew Mitchell's an important man Although I can't say that I'm a fan He let loose with his tongue He's sure to be hung Or at least get a bicycle ban By nature MP's are obtuse |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 22 2012, 10:59 AM Post #23 |
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By nature MP's are obtuse So voters all say "What's the use?" |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 22 2012, 08:34 PM Post #24 |
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By nature MP's are obtuse So voters all say "What's the use?" We voted in hope |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 23 2012, 12:54 AM Post #25 |
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By nature MP's are obtuse So voters all say "What's the use?" We voted in hope That it wasn't soft soap |
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| Caro | Sep 23 2012, 11:00 AM Post #26 |
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By nature MP's are obtuse So voters all say "What's the use?" We voted in hope That it wasn't soft soap Or worse still, a load of abuse. We had fish 'n' chips for our tea |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 23 2012, 01:42 PM Post #27 |
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We had fish 'n' chips for our tea Yes please, salt 'n vinegar for me |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 23 2012, 01:51 PM Post #28 |
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We had fish 'n' chips for our tea Yes please, salt 'n vinegar for me Don't forget mushy peas |
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| Mobson | Sep 23 2012, 05:28 PM Post #29 |
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We had fish 'n' chips for our tea Yes please, salt 'n vinegar for me Don't forget mushy peas They're sure to please |
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| Caro | Sep 23 2012, 08:02 PM Post #30 |
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We had fish 'n' chips for our tea Yes please, salt 'n vinegar for me Don't forget mushy peas They're sure to please But not available here in NZ. [pronounced with a US 'z' which no one ever does] |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 23 2012, 10:16 PM Post #31 |
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There seems to be something missing |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 24 2012, 01:36 AM Post #32 |
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There seems to be something missing Caro's busily reminiscing |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 24 2012, 11:22 AM Post #33 |
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There seems to be something missing Caro's busily reminiscing About zeezes and zeds |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 24 2012, 11:12 PM Post #34 |
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There seems to be something missing Caro's busily reminiscing About zeezes and zeds And big feather beds |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 25 2012, 02:04 PM Post #35 |
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There seems to be something missing Caro's busily reminiscing About zeezes and zeds And big feather beds LOOK OUT! There's a snake and it's hissing..... A call to my wife made it clear Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 25 2012, 02:05 PM.
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| tafkaj | Sep 25 2012, 02:29 PM Post #36 |
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Now they're gunning for poor old Brock And Brian May's now taking stock Edited by tafkaj, Sep 25 2012, 02:29 PM.
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| Mobson | Sep 25 2012, 06:13 PM Post #37 |
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A call to my wife made it clear Things will be different next year Edited by Mobson, Sep 25 2012, 06:14 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 25 2012, 06:25 PM Post #38 |
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You're doing a 'Norm' Taf! (#36) |
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| Caro | Sep 25 2012, 11:36 PM Post #39 |
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A call to my wife made it clear Things will be different next year No drinking all day Edited by Caro, Sep 25 2012, 11:38 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 26 2012, 10:13 AM Post #40 |
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A call to my wife made it clear Things will be different next year No drinking all day All work and no play |
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| madfor4 | Sep 26 2012, 10:27 AM Post #41 |
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A
Edited by madfor4, Sep 26 2012, 10:29 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 26 2012, 01:45 PM Post #42 |
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A call to my wife made it clear Things will be different next year No drinking all day All work and no play She's making me pay very dear! A kilted young man from Argyle |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 26 2012, 11:56 PM Post #43 |
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A kilted young man from Argyle Had a knack for raising a smile |
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| Mobson | Sep 27 2012, 08:03 AM Post #44 |
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A kilted young man from Argyle Had a knack for raising a smile By raising his kilt |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 27 2012, 08:05 AM Post #45 |
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A kilted young man from Argyle Had a knack for raising a smile By raising his kilt Which he used to the hilt |
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| Mobson | Sep 27 2012, 08:10 AM Post #46 |
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A kilted young man from Argyle Had a knack for raising a smile By raising his kilt Which he used to the hilt his beam shone a quart of a mile! |
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| Mobson | Sep 27 2012, 08:11 AM Post #47 |
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The girls came from Perth and Kirkcaldy >>>pronounced.... http://www.scottish-places.info/sounds/s143.wav
Edited by Mobson, Sep 27 2012, 08:13 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 27 2012, 03:25 PM Post #48 |
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The girls came from Perth and Kirkcaldy The were cheap, common and bawdy |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 27 2012, 09:38 PM Post #49 |
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The girls came from Perth and Kirkcaldy They were cheap, common and bawdy But they had hearts of gold |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 27 2012, 09:40 PM Post #50 |
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Edited by dai Cottomy, Sep 27 2012, 09:40 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 27 2012, 11:38 PM Post #51 |
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The girls came from Perth and Kirkcaldy They were cheap, common and bawdy But they had hearts of gold And were swiftly paroled |
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| Caro | Sep 28 2012, 03:34 AM Post #52 |
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The girls came from Perth and Kirkcaldy They were cheap, common and bawdy But they had hearts of gold And were swiftly paroled To enjoy a bold life with Geordie. In Britain they say Worchestershire is Wooster [and even Wooster isn't pronounced like booster or rooster] |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 28 2012, 10:42 AM Post #53 |
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Caro, The corect spelling is Worcester and Worcestershire with the 'o' pronounced as in woman English is a funny old lingo! Ghoti = Fish .......gh as in cough .......o as in women .......ti as in motion George Bernard Shaw Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 28 2012, 10:53 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 28 2012, 10:50 AM Post #54 |
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In Britain they say Worcester is Wooster A crackin' town, even a Buster...North of England pronunciation Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 28 2012, 10:54 AM.
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 28 2012, 11:39 AM Post #55 |
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In Britain they say Worcester is Wooster A crackin' town, even a Buster...North of England pronunciation But natives of Derby |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 28 2012, 12:41 PM Post #56 |
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In Britain they say Worcester is Wooster A crackin' town, even a Buster...North of England pronunciation But natives of Derby Whence came Bob Larbey (he came from Clapham actually) |
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| tafkaj | Sep 28 2012, 02:56 PM Post #57 |
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In Britain they say Worcester is Wooster, A crackin' town, even a Buster; But natives of Derby, Whence came Bob Larbey, Can't buy books from Simon & Schuster. ******************************************* 'And You & I', a song by Yes, |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 28 2012, 03:18 PM Post #58 |
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'And You & I', a song by Yes, Affects me in ways I can't express -------------------- -------------------- ---------------------------- |
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| Caro | Sep 28 2012, 08:59 PM Post #59 |
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'And You & I', a song by Yes, Affects me in ways I can't express Nor me: I don't know it [which is a shame by the few moments I heard on youtube, but it's a bit long for my attention span] -------------------- ---------------------------- (My Lea and Perrins bottle calls it Worcestershire sauce and that is pronounced Wooster, so the longer word could have left in, with the 'h' taken out.) |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 29 2012, 01:11 PM Post #60 |
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'And You & I', a song by Yes, Affects me in ways I can't express Nor me: I don't know it [which is a shame by the few moments I heard on youtube, but it's a bit long for my attention span] -------------------- Not to my taste, must confess |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 29 2012, 01:43 PM Post #61 |
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'And You & I', a song by Yes, Affects me in ways I can't express Nor me: I don't know it You can't whistle to it Not to my taste, I must confess Pop music ain't what it used to be |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 29 2012, 04:48 PM Post #62 |
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Pop music ain't what it used to be Most is in the single chord of 'C' |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 1 2012, 12:03 AM Post #63 |
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Pop music ain't what it used to be Most is in the single chord of 'C' And as for limericks |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 1 2012, 11:13 AM Post #64 |
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Pop music ain't what it used to be Most is in the single chord of 'C' And as for limericks Better than some lyrics Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 1 2012, 11:15 AM.
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| Caro | Oct 2 2012, 06:48 AM Post #65 |
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Pop music ain't what it used to be Most is in the single chord of 'C' And as for limericks Better than some lyrics But not for the rhythm; that's twee. The dinner tonight was smoked fish |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 2 2012, 11:37 AM Post #66 |
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The dinner tonight was smoked fish Served up in a Clarice Cliff dish |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 2 2012, 11:45 AM Post #67 |
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The dinner tonight was smoked fish Served up in a Clarice Cliff dish Then we smoked a cigar |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 2 2012, 03:38 PM Post #68 |
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The dinner tonight was smoked fish Served up in a Clarice Cliff dish Then we smoked a cigar Propped up at the bar |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 2 2012, 04:36 PM Post #69 |
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The dinner tonight was smoked fish Served up in a Clarice Cliff dish Then we smoked a cigar Propped up at the bar For what else could a poor man wish? The silence was getting me down |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 2 2012, 05:41 PM Post #70 |
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The silence was getting me down So I went for a pint at The Crown |
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| Mobson | Oct 2 2012, 07:16 PM Post #71 |
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The silence was getting me down So I went for a pint at The Crown The noise was sublime |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 2 2012, 07:34 PM Post #72 |
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The silence was getting me down So I went for a pint at The Crown The noise was sublime But when they called "Time" |
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| Caro | Oct 3 2012, 03:57 AM Post #73 |
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The silence was getting me down So I went for a pint at The Crown The noise was sublime But when they called "Time" I headed quick fast into town. And there the bars open all night |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 4 2012, 02:00 PM Post #74 |
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And there the bars open all night ............................................. ................ ............. That's plenty of time to get 'tight' |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 4 2012, 02:25 PM Post #75 |
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And there the bars open all night About midnight's the time for a fight ................ ............. That's plenty of time to get 'tight' |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 4 2012, 04:46 PM Post #76 |
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And there the bars open all night About midnight's the time for a fight Around half past two ............. That's plenty of time to get 'tight' |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 5 2012, 04:07 PM Post #77 |
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And there the bars open all night About midnight's the time for a fight Around half past two They put on a fresh brew... So that's plenty of time to get 'tight' It's Autumn with the nights drawing in |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 5 2012, 05:40 PM Post #78 |
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It's Autumn with the nights drawing in I'll spend most of the time pouring gin |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 5 2012, 05:46 PM Post #79 |
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It's Autumn with the nights drawing in I'll spend most of the time pouring gin. If we run out of tonic |
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| Caro | Oct 5 2012, 11:18 PM Post #80 |
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It's Autumn with the nights drawing in I'll spend most of the time pouring gin. If we run out of tonic I'll just start on Kronic [synthetic cannaboid, don't know if this is a universal name] |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 6 2012, 11:59 AM Post #81 |
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It's Autumn with the nights drawing in I'll spend most of the time pouring gin. If we run out of tonic I'll just start on Kronic [synthetic cannaboid, don't know if this is a universal name] And end up in the loony bin Needless to say, I'm just jesting |
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| Caro | Oct 7 2012, 07:05 AM Post #82 |
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Needless to say, I'm just jesting And your sense of outrage I'm testing |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 7 2012, 06:25 PM Post #83 |
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Needless to say, I'm just jesting And your sense of outrage I'm testing If you think I'm too rude |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 7 2012, 09:30 PM Post #84 |
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Needless to say, I'm just jesting And your sense of outrage I'm testing If you think I'm too rude You're just an old prude |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 7 2012, 10:56 PM Post #85 |
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Needless to say, I'm just jesting And your sense of outrage I'm testing If you think I'm too rude You're just an old prude Or you've misconstrued what I'm suggesting. Some folk get the wrong end of the stick |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 8 2012, 12:33 PM Post #86 |
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Some folk get the wrong end of the stick When they think someone's taking the mick |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 8 2012, 02:39 PM Post #87 |
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Some folk get the wrong end of the stick When they think someone's taking the mick As if anyone would |
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| Rikiiboy | Oct 8 2012, 03:24 PM Post #88 |
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Some folk get the wrong end of the stick When they think someone's taking the mick As if anyone would Behave and be good |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 8 2012, 06:30 PM Post #89 |
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Some folk get the wrong end of the stick When they think someone's taking the mick As if anyone would Behave and be good Or you're bound to get hit with a brick. A chap in the Bible called Jonah |
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| Mobson | Oct 8 2012, 11:19 PM Post #90 |
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A chap in the Bible called Jonah made no mention of his enormous boner .... ... it is after the watershed! Edited by Mobson, Oct 8 2012, 11:20 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 8 2012, 11:40 PM Post #91 |
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Perhaps liable to the odd boner You should be ashamed of yourself, Mobs - that doesn't scan! A chap in the Bible called Jonah Made no mention of his massive boner When courting a whale |
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| Mobson | Oct 8 2012, 11:42 PM Post #92 |
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Nope!! ...not after reading today's One Liners!!!A chap in the Bible called Jonah Made no mention of his massive boner When courting a whale he went rather pale Edited by Mobson, Oct 8 2012, 11:54 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 8 2012, 11:55 PM Post #93 |
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A chap in the Bible called Jonah Made no mention of his massive boner When courting a whale he went rather pale And became a marine organ donor. There was a young man from Athlone |
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| Caro | Oct 9 2012, 05:27 AM Post #94 |
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There was a young man from Athlone Who did nothing but grumble and groan [I am assuming pronunciation is going with spelling] |
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| Mobson | Oct 9 2012, 07:34 AM Post #95 |
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good line ticks! There was a young man from Athlone Who did nothing but grumble and groan His wife said 'Buck Up' Edited by Mobson, Oct 9 2012, 07:34 AM.
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| becky sharp | Oct 9 2012, 07:37 AM Post #96 |
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There was a young man from Athlone Who did nothing but grumble and groan His wife said 'Buck Up' 'You miserable pup' |
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| Mobson | Oct 9 2012, 07:51 AM Post #97 |
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There was a young man from Athlone Who did nothing but grumble and groan His wife said "Buck Up" "You miserable pup" "Or you'll end up completely alone" Edited by Mobson, Oct 9 2012, 07:52 AM.
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| Mobson | Oct 9 2012, 07:52 AM Post #98 |
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A lady who does hair in the Tooting Road |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 9 2012, 10:20 AM Post #99 |
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A lady who does hair in the Tooting Road Was accused of doing strange things to a toad |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 9 2012, 01:13 PM Post #100 |
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That one makes sense. It's not very interesting, but it makes sense.A lady who does hair in the Tooting Road Was accused of doing strange things to a toad With a frog in her throat |
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good line ticks!
That one makes sense. It's not very interesting, but it makes sense.
7:02 AM Jul 13