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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,841 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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An innocent young lad in Japan
Took a ride in a Nissan Sedan
---------------------
---------------------
--------------------------------
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waiting4atickle
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An innocent young lad in Japan
Took a ride in a Nissan Sedan
It wasn't so plush

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dai Cottomy
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An innocent young lad in Japan
Took a ride in a Nissan Sedan
It wasn't so plush
A bit hard on the tush
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Mobson
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An innocent young lad in Japan
Took a ride in a Nissan Sedan
It wasn't so plush
A bit hard on the tush
No AirCon so he used a fan
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Mobson
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Young Dimitrov lived happily in Minsk
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dai Cottomy
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Young Dimitrov lived happily in Minsk
'Til the family moved to Chelyabinsk
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waiting4atickle
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Young Dimitrov lived happily in Minsk
'Til the family moved to Chelyabinsk
His sweetheart, Svetlana

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Mobson
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Young Dimitrov lived happily in Minsk
'Til the family moved to Chelyabinsk
His sweetheart, Svetlana
Choked on a sultana
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dai Cottomy
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Young Dimitrov lived happily in Minsk
'Til the family moved to Chelyabinsk
His sweetheart, Svetlana
Choked on a sultana
In a cafe in Yuzhno-Sakhalinsk


Meanwhile in a terrace in Wapping
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waiting4atickle
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Meanwhile in a terrace in Wapping
There's been an outbreak of wife-swapping

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dai Cottomy
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Meanwhile in a terrace in Wapping
There's been an outbreak of wife-swapping
The Smiths at number nine
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Caro

Meanwhile in a terrace in Wapping
There's been an outbreak of wife-swapping
The Smiths at number nine
For the Browns took a shine
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dai Cottomy
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Meanwhile in a terrace in Wapping
There's been an outbreak of wife-swapping
The Smiths at number nine
For the Browns took a shine
But the wives sent the husbands out shopping


It's all very different in France
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Norm Deplume
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It's all very different in France
Where the Can-Can's the favourite dance
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Caro

It's all very different in France
Where the Can-Can's the favourite dance
They swoop and they swirl
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waiting4atickle
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It's all very different in France
Where the Can-Can's the favourite dance
They swoop and they swirl
With a high-kicking girl

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Mobson
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It's all very different in France
Where the Can-Can's the favourite dance
They swoop and they swirl
With a high-kicking girl
Leading off with a horsey-type prance
Edited by Mobson, May 13 2013, 01:37 PM.
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Mobson
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The men take the lead throwing Euro's
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Norm Deplume
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The men take the lead throwing Euro's
At the people in Citizen Advice Bureaux
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tafkaj

The men take the lead throwing Euro's
At the people in Citizen Advice Bureaux
Who exchange them for yen
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dai Cottomy
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The men take the lead throwing Euro's
At the people in Citizen Advice Bureaux
Who exchange them for yen
In packets of ten
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Mobson
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The men take the lead throwing Euro's
At the people in Citizen Advice Bureaux
Who exchange them for yen
In packets of ten
Monitoring how far that currency goes
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Mobson
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Poor Wigan are condemned to relegation
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waiting4atickle
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Poor Wigan are condemned to relegation
They're going to build a pier as consolation*

*Thought I'd continue the non-standard metre.

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Mobson
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that's the spirit ticks!

Poor Wigan are condemned to relegation
They're going to build a pier as consolation
They'll jump off when its done
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Norm Deplume
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Poor Wigan are condemned to relegation
They're going to build a pier as consolation
They'll jump off when its done
While eating a bun
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Mobson
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Poor Wigan are condemned to relegation
They're going to build a pier as consolation
They'll jump off when its done
While eating a bun
That should salve their desolation.
Edited by Mobson, May 16 2013, 08:24 AM.
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Mobson
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"Cricket's here again" shouts Bumble
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waiting4atickle
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"Cricket's here again" shouts Bumble
"So that's why it's raining", we grumble

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Mobson
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"Cricket's here again" shouts Bumble
"So that's why it's raining", we grumble
With many distractions
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becky sharp
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"Cricket's here again" shouts Bumble
"So that's why it's raining", we grumble
With many distractions
And disparate factions
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waiting4atickle
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I was going to write "My niece's contractions" (due today) but you beat me to the (fourth) line, Becky.

"Cricket's here again" shouts Bumble
"So that's why it's raining", we grumble
With many distractions
And disparate factions
Our batsmen have started to stumble.


Should a May baby boy be called Buddy?

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Norm Deplume
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Should a May baby boy be called Buddy?
Not if his complexion is ruddy
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waiting4atickle
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Should a May baby boy be called Buddy?
Not if his complexion is ruddy
He may seem a darling

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Norm Deplume
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Should a May baby boy be called Buddy?
Not if his complexion is ruddy
He may seem a darling
But so does a starling
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Norm Deplume
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Should a May baby boy be called Buddy?
Not if his complexion is ruddy
He may seem a darling
But so does a starling
So don't be an old fuddy-duddy





On the good ship HMS Pullet
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waiting4atickle
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On the good ship HMS Pullet
The bosun has bitten the bullet

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Mobson
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On the good ship HMS Pullet
The bosun has bitten the bullet
While rolling some shag

Edited by Mobson, May 18 2013, 10:06 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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On the good ship HMS Pullet
The bosun has bitten the bullet
While rolling some shag
Sitting on his kitbag
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Mobson
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On the good ship HMS Pullet
The bosun has bitten the bullet
While rolling some shag
Sitting on his kitbag
It blew off the top of his mullet
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Mobson
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<cool> ....Well I'm bloody pleased with that one! <whistles>
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waiting4atickle
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Well I'm bloody pleased with that one!
My laurels I'll now rest upon

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Norm Deplume
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Well I'm bloody pleased with that one!
My laurels I'll now rest upon
My powettik gene
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dai Cottomy
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Well I'm bloody pleased with that one!
My laurels I'll now rest upon
My powettik gene
Is a well-oiled machine
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Norm Deplume
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Well I'm bloody pleased with that one!
My laurels I'll now rest upon
My powettik gene
Is a well-oiled machine
That works like a dream. Tres Bon!


I wish I was forty years younger
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waiting4atickle
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I wish I was forty years younger
And had me a nice firm cucumber

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Norm Deplume
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I wish I was forty years younger
And had me a nice firm cucumber
To wave in the breeze
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Mobson
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I wish I was forty years younger
And had me a nice firm cucumber
To wave in the breeze
Not drooped to my knees
Edited by Mobson, May 21 2013, 11:53 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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I wish I was forty years younger
And had me a nice firm cucumber
To wave in the breeze
Not drooped to my knees
All the things for which I hunger




I've been told there'll be heatwaves in June
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Mobson
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I've been told there'll be heatwaves in June
She's experiencing the menopause too soon
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waiting4atickle
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I've been told there'll be heatwaves in June
She's experiencing the menopause too soon
But will July stay cool?

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Norm Deplume
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I've been told there'll be heatwaves in June
She's experiencing the menopause too soon
But will July stay cool?
Will we swim in the pool?
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rumbaba
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I've been told there'll be heatwaves in June
She's experiencing the menopause too soon
But will July stay cool?
Will we swim in the pool?
By the light of the silvery moon
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rumbaba
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It's a bit dull and dreary today
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dai Cottomy
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It's a bit dull and dreary today
Just wait 'til the Bank Holiday!
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Norm Deplume
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It's a bit dull and dreary today
Just wait 'til the Bank Holiday!
Probably be just the same
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Mobson
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It's a bit dull and dreary today
Just wait 'til the Bank Holiday!
Probably be just the same
Weather watching's inane
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Caro

It's a bit dull and dreary today
Just wait 'til the Bank Holiday!
Probably be just the same
Weather watching's inane
But hard to resist, fine or gray.

I'm off on a jaunt for a week
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dai Cottomy
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I'm off on a jaunt for a week
Won't tell you where, but they speak Greek
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Norm Deplume
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I'm off on a jaunt for a week
Won't tell you where, but they speak Greek
Is it Corfu or Rhodes?
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dai Cottomy
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I'm off on a jaunt for a week
Won't tell you where, but they speak Greek
Is it Corfu or Rhodes?
Or the Antipodes ? <happybirthdaycaro>
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Mobson
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I'm off on a jaunt for a week
Won't tell you where, but they speak Greek
Is it Corfu or Rhodes?
Or the Antipodes ? <happybirthdaycaro>
I simply can't say of where I speak
Edited by Mobson, May 23 2013, 04:46 PM.
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rumbaba
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Blimey, scanning's gone right out the window
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Norm Deplume
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Blimey, scanning's gone right out the window
Did he fall or was he pushed, I want to know?
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Mobson
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Blimey, scanning's gone right out the window
Did he fall or was he pushed, I want to know?
Surely not foul play
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waiting4atickle
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Blimey, scanning's gone right out the window
Did he fall or was he pushed, I want to know?
Surely not foul play
He was in a bad way

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dai Cottomy
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Blimey, scanning's gone right out the window
Did he fall or was he pushed, I want to know?
Surely not foul play
He was in a bad way
All through trying to spy on a bimbo


Peeping Toms play a dangerous game

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Mobson
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Peeping Toms play a dangerous game
but to die for it is a crying shame
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Norm Deplume
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Peeping Toms play a dangerous game
but to die for it is a crying shame
Pull your curtains at night
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Mobson
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Peeping Toms play a dangerous game
but to die for it is a crying shame
Pull your curtains at night
So you don't get a fright
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tafkaj

Peeping Toms play a dangerous game
But to die for it is a crying shame
Pull your curtains at night
So you don't get a fright -
Good advice; now I'll not get the blame!

********************************************

The adventures of Edmund Blackadder
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Norm Deplume
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The adventures of Edmund Blackadder
Weren't approved by his Mamma and Dadda
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waiting4atickle
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The adventures of Edmund Blackadder
Weren't approved by his Mamma and Dadda
They didn't like his plans

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Norm Deplume
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The adventures of Edmund Blackadder
Weren't approved by his Mamma and Dadda
They didn't like his plans
So they tied up his hands
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Mobson
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The adventures of Edmund Blackadder
Weren't approved by his Mamma and Dadda
They didn't like his plans
So they tied up his hands
Which sent him mad and then madder
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Mobson
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I do feel I'm watching too much sport
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Norm Deplume
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I do feel I'm watching too much sport
If someone walks in, I'll get caught
Edited by Norm Deplume, May 31 2013, 12:00 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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I do feel I'm watching too much sport
If someone walks in, I'll get caught
My eyes are 'a-goggle'
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waiting4atickle
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I do feel I'm watching too much sport
If someone walks in, I'll get caught
My eyes are 'a-goggle'
Mind's starting to boggle

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Caro

I do feel I'm watching too much sport
If someone walks in, I'll get caught
My eyes are 'a-goggle'
Mind's starting to boggle
I'll cheer them, no matter what sort.

It snowed and it snowed in Queenstown
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dai Cottomy
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It snowed and it snowed in Queenstown
It looked like a carpet of swan's down
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waiting4atickle
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It snowed and it snowed in Queenstown
It looked like a carpet of swan's down
But despite how it looked

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dai Cottomy
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It snowed and it snowed in Queenstown
It looked like a carpet of swan's down
But despite how it looked
I admit I was hooked

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Norm Deplume
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snowed and it snowed in Queenstown
It looked like a carpet of swan's down
But despite how it looked
I admit I was hooked
Then it rained and turned it all brown

A sympathetic tailor in Reading
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waiting4atickle
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A sympathetic tailor in Reading
Was making a suit for a wedding

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Norm Deplume
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A sympathetic tailor in Reading
Was making a suit for a wedding
But forgot to attach zip
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Mobson
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A sympathetic tailor in Reading
Was making a suit for a wedding
But forgot to attach zip
or a button or a clip
Edited by Mobson, Jun 9 2013, 12:14 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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A sympathetic tailor in Reading
Was making a suit for a wedding
But forgot to attach zip
or a button or a clip
To stop his beer gut from spreading


A fitness instructress from Hitchen
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Norm Deplume
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A fitness instructress from Hitchen
Took delight in cussin' and bitchin'
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Mobson
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A fitness instructress from Hitchen
Took delight in cussin' and bitchin
When clients protested
Edited by Mobson, Jun 9 2013, 02:08 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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A fitness instructress from Hitchen
Took delight in cussin' and bitchin
When clients protested
She was arrested
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Caro

A fitness instructress from Hitchen
Took delight in cussin' and bitchin
When clients protested
She was arrested
The firm are now her a-ditchin'.

There once was a young fit ditch digger

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waiting4atickle
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There once was a young fit ditch digger
Whose dagger was very much bigger

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Mobson
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There once was a young fit ditch digger
Whose dagger was very much bigger
When astride a big hole
Edited by Mobson, Jun 10 2013, 10:44 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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There once was a young fit ditch digger
Whose dagger was very much bigger
When astride a big hole
It hung like a pole
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Mobson
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There once was a young fit ditch digger
Whose dagger was very much bigger
When astride a big hole
It hung like a pole
Eliciting many a snigger

*******************************

A beefy beef eater named Bert
Edited by Mobson, Jun 10 2013, 01:37 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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A beefy beef eater named Bert
Had a sign on the back of his shirt
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waiting4atickle
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A beefy beef eater named Bert
Had a sign on the back of his shirt
"By Royal Appointment"

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Norm Deplume
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A beefy beef eater named Bert
Had a sign on the back of his shirt
"By Royal Appointment"
For his life-saving ointment
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waiting4atickle
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A beefy beef eater named Bert
Had a sign on the back of his shirt
"By Royal Appointment"
For his life-saving ointment
Which cost just a fiver a squirt.


A bee-keeper, not very young

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