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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,840 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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Caro

A bee-keeper, not very young
Said, "Oh dear, I have just been so stung"
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Mobson
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A bee-keeper, not very young
Said, "Oh dear, I have just been so stung"
The bee promptly died
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Norm Deplume
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A bee-keeper, not very young
Was arrested for "taking-a-bung"



OOOOPS!! (again)
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jun 11 2013, 04:30 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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A bee-keeper, not very young
Said, "Oh dear, I have just been so stung"
The bee promptly died
And the bee-keeper cried

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tafkaj

A bee-keeper, not very young
Said, "Oh dear, I have just been so stung"
The bee promptly died
And the bee-keeper cried
And Ave Maria was sung.

******************************************

A soldier in ancient Beijing
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Mobson
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A soldier in ancient Beijing
Stole the Emperor's favourite ring
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Norm Deplume
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A soldier in ancient Beijing
Stole the Emperor's favourite ring
The old chap got quite cross
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dai Cottomy
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A soldier in ancient Beijing
Stole the Emperor's favourite ring
The old chap got quite cross
When he discovered his loss
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Mobson
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A soldier in ancient Beijing
Stole the Emperor's favourite ring
The old chap got quite cross
When he discovered his loss
And cut off the thief's ding a ling
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Mobson
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When witches were burnt at t'stake
Edited by Mobson, Jun 12 2013, 01:05 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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When witches were burnt at t'stake
And ducking stools lay in the lake
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waiting4atickle
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When witches were burnt at t'stake
And ducking stools lay in the lake
There was trouble in Salem

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Norm Deplume
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When witches were burnt at t'stake
And ducking stools lay in the lake
There was trouble in Salem
(I can't say that I blame 'em)
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Mobson
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When witches were burnt at t'stake
And ducking stools lay in the lake
There was trouble in Salem
(I can't say that I blame 'em)
Tho' most of 'em were blomin' fake
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Mobson
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A waitress named Wendy from Ware

Edited by Mobson, Jun 12 2013, 10:02 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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A waitress named Wendy from Ware
Wore a badge that said "Handle with care"

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Mobson
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A waitress named Wendy from Ware
Wore a badge that said "Handle with care"
When her bottom was tweaked
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waiting4atickle
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A waitress named Wendy from Ware
Wore a badge that said "Handle with care"
When her bottom was tweaked
The girl fairly freaked

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Norm Deplume
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A waitress named Wendy from Ware
Wore a badge that said "Handle with care"
When her bottom was tweaked
The girl fairly freaked
Shouting "Hey young man, don't you dare"

A tea boy,- young Larry from Luton
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dai Cottomy
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A tea boy,- young Larry from Luton
Was allergic to peanuts and gluten
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Mobson
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A tea boy,- young Larry from Luton
Was allergic to peanuts and gluten
An allergy undetected
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dai Cottomy
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A tea boy,- young Larry from Luton
Was allergic to peanuts and gluten
An allergy undetected
But not unexpected
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Mobson
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A tea boy,- young Larry from Luton
Was allergic to peanuts and gluten
An allergy undetected
But not unexpected
He ate peanut sarnies & died on his futon
Edited by Mobson, Jun 13 2013, 04:13 PM.
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Mobson
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Giancarlo was a great pizza maker
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Norm Deplume
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Giancarlo was a great pizza maker
But was also a great 'Mickey taker'
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Mobson
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Giancarlo was a great pizza maker
But was also a great 'Mickey taker'
did things with his dough
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tafkaj

Giancarlo was a great pizza maker
But was also a great 'Mickey taker'
Did things with his dough
That we oughtn't to know
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Norm Deplume
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Giancarlo was a great pizza maker
But was also a great 'Mickey taker'
Did things with his dough
That we oughtn't to know
Using herbs and an old cocktail shaker


He baked all his pizzas 'il forno'
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jun 15 2013, 03:52 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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He baked all his pizzas 'il forno'
While reading the news in 'Il Giorno'
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Mobson
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He baked all his pizzas 'il forno'
While reading the news in 'Il Giorno'
To fire his imagination
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Norm Deplume
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He baked all his pizzas 'il forno'
While reading the news in 'Il Giorno'
To fire his imagination
and ward-off starvation
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Norm Deplume
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He baked all his pizzas 'il forno'
While reading the news in 'Il Giorno'
To fire his imagination
and ward-off starvation
He searched the web for some porno


The tailor who made Gianni's shirts
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jun 19 2013, 03:02 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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The tailor who made Gianni's shirts
Drives a Ferrari rented from Hertz
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waiting4atickle
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The tailor who made Gianni's shirts
Drives a Ferrari rented from Hertz
He pulls lots of birds

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Mobson
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The tailor who made Gianni's shirts
Drives a Ferrari rented from Hertz
He pulls lots of birds
Tho' a man of few words
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Caro

The tailor who made Gianni's shirts
Drives a Ferrari rented from Hertz
He pulls lots of birds
Tho' a man of few words
And those come in just fits and spurts.


To Italy's shores they descend
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dai Cottomy
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To Italy's shores they descend
And drive the natives right round the bend
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Norm Deplume
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To Italy's shores they descend
And drive the natives right round the bend
In their smart Prada clothes
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Caro

To Italy's shores they descend
And drive the natives right round the bend
In their smart Prada clothes
They prance and they pose
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Norm Deplume
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To Italy's shores they descend
And drive the natives right round the bend
In their smart Prada clothes
They prance and they pose
For the sake of the latest trend


I suppose if it's all down to me
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tafkaj

I suppose if it's all down to me,
The number of Tops would be Three
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waiting4atickle
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I suppose if it's all down to me,
The number of Tops would be Three
But it's not, there are four

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Norm Deplume
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suppose if it's all down to me,
The number of Tops would be Three
But it's not, there are four
Goodness me! Are you sure?
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Mobson
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I suppose if it's all down to me,
The number of Tops would be Three
But it's not, there are four
Goodness me! Are you sure?
Yes of course, confirmed officially.
Edited by Mobson, Jun 23 2013, 10:21 AM.
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Mobson
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Whilst waiting for today's match to start
Edited by Mobson, Jun 23 2013, 10:23 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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Whilst waiting for today's match to start
I found that I did not have the heart
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Caro

Whilst waiting for today's match to start
I found that I did not have the heart
To hope for too much
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Norm Deplume
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Whilst waiting for today's match to start
I found that I did not have the heart
To hope for too much
Don't go "into touch"
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tafkaj

Whilst waiting for today's match to start
I found that I did not have the heart
To hope for too much
Don't go "into touch" -
I'm sure that front row ripped a fart.

********************************************

It's shocking - the programme called Prism
Edited by tafkaj, Jun 25 2013, 02:11 PM.
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Mobson
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Quote:
 
"I'm that front row ripped a fart."
<eh> not sure that makes sense taf!

Edited by Mobson, Jun 25 2013, 01:31 PM.
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tafkaj

It does now ... <cool>
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dai Cottomy
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It's shocking - the programme called Prism
It's a veritable cataclysm



I would would like to extend a warm welcome to our friends in GHQ and NSA, who may be keeping us under constant scrutiny. I trust they will regard our badinage with generous toleration. We are harmless - honestly!
Edited by dai Cottomy, Jun 25 2013, 03:28 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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It's shocking - the programme called Prism
It's a veritable cataclysm
A case of Big Brother
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dai Cottomy
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It's shocking - the programme called Prism
It's a veritable cataclysm
A case of Big Brother
Trying to smother
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Caro

It's shocking - the programme called Prism
It's a veritable cataclysm
A case of Big Brother
Trying to smother
Our thoughts or at least try to quiz 'em.


In the backblocks we think we're immune
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dai Cottomy
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In the backblocks we think we're immune
But the hackers sing a different tune
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tafkaj

In the backblocks we think we're immune
But the hackers sing a different tune
They'll get your addresses
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dai Cottomy
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In the backblocks we think we're immune
But the hackers sing a different tune
They'll get your addresses
No oblige noblesses
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Caro

In the backblocks we think we're immune
But the hackers sing a different tune
They'll get your addresses
No oblige noblesses
They'll be into our heads very soon.


But the glass is sometimes half full
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tafkaj

But the glass is sometimes half full,
So they say, but I think it's bull
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dai Cottomy
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But the glass is sometimes half full,
So they say, but I think it's bull
Half empty, more like
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Norm Deplume
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But the glass is sometimes half full,
So they say, but I think it's bull
Half empty, more like
So get on yer bike!
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Mobson
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But the glass is sometimes half full,
So they say, but I think it's bull
Half empty, more like
So get on yer bike!
Stop philosophising, it simply ain't cool <cool>
Edited by Mobson, Jul 2 2013, 09:31 AM.
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Mobson
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The Queen of Tennis lost her crown yesterday
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tafkaj

The Queen of Tennis lost her crown yesterday,
While swimming 'cross the River Tay
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Caro

The Queen of Tennis lost her crown yesterday,
While swimming 'cross the River Tay
It fell from her head
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Norm Deplume
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The Queen of Tennis lost her crown yesterday,
While swimming 'cross the River Tay
It fell from her head
And sank , like lead
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Norm Deplume
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The Queen of Tennis lost her crown yesterday,
While swimming 'cross the River Tay
It fell from her head
And sank , like lead
But she continued her swim come what may.


A lady I know is a plumber
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Mobson
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A lady I know is a plumber
Tho' men all thinks that's a bummer
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waiting4atickle
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A lady I know is a plumber
Tho' men all think that's a bummer
What she does with a ballcock

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Caro

A lady I know is a plumber
Tho' men all think that's a bummer
What she does with a ballcock
While wearing a small frock
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dai Cottomy
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A lady I know is a plumber
Tho' men all think that's a bummer
What she does with a ballcock
While wearing a small frock
Will haunt me for the rest of the Summer


A certain young maiden from Kent
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Caro

A certain young maiden from Kent
Set her eyes on a very suave gent
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Mobson
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dai Cottomy
Jul 5 2013, 09:57 AM
A lady I know is a plumber
Tho' men all think that's a bummer
What she does with a ballcock
While wearing a small frock
Will haunt me for the rest of the Summer
<laugh> <magic>
Edited by Mobson, Jul 5 2013, 10:27 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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A certain young maiden from Kent
Set her eyes on a very suave gent
He wore crocodile shoes
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Mobson
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A certain young maiden from Kent
Set her eyes on a very suave gent
He wore crocodile shoes
But who would he choose
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waiting4atickle
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A certain young maiden from Kent
Set her eyes on a very suave gent
He wore crocodile shoes
But who would he choose -
That coy girl or a goer from Gwent?


A crocodile hunter from Oz

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Mobson
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A crocodile hunter from Oz
Stopped killing them because
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Norm Deplume
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A crocodile hunter from Oz
Stopped killing them because
A coy croc called Nancy
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Mobson
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A crocodile hunter from Oz
Stopped killing them because
A coy croc called Nancy
Had taken his fancy
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tafkaj

A crocodile hunter from Oz
Stopped killing them because
A coy croc called Nancy
Had taken his fancy
Quite unlike how his wife now does.

*******************************************

Don't worry, we're now nearly there
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Norm Deplume
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Don't worry, we are now nearly there
I'll put my clothes on 'cos I'm bare
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dai Cottomy
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Don't worry, we are now nearly there
I'll put my clothes on 'cos I'm bare
Don't want to scare the horses
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Norm Deplume
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Don't worry, we are now nearly there
I'll put my clothes on 'cos I'm bare
Don't want to scare the horses,
the Police or Her Majesty's Forces
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Norm Deplume
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Don't worry, we are now nearly there
I'll put my clothes on 'cos I'm bare
Don't want to scare the horses,
the Police or Her Majesty's Forces
But what is more,--Do I care?



In Bournemouth one fine, starry night
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jul 8 2013, 10:42 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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In Bournemouth one fine, starry night
I saw a sight which gave me a fright
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Mobson
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In Bournemouth one fine, starry night
I saw a sight which gave me a fright
A naked man on the beach
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dai Cottomy
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In Bournemouth one fine, starry night
I saw a sight which gave me a fright
A naked man on the beach
Being bled by a leech
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Norm Deplume
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In Bournemouth one fine, starry night
I saw a sight which gave me a fright
A naked man on the beach
Being bled by a leech
Believe me, that's not a pretty sight


While deliberating, the jury was out
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waiting4atickle
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While deliberating, the jury was out
The ladies drank vodka, the men drank stout

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Rikiiboy
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While deliberating, the jury was out
The ladies drank vodka, the men drank stout
The verdict was missed
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dai Cottomy
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While deliberating, the jury was out
The ladies drank vodka, the men drank stout
The verdict was missed
The ladies were kissed
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Caro

While deliberating, the jury was out
The ladies drank vodka, the men drank stout
The verdict was missed
The ladies were kissed
Who knows what the case was about?


Who killed those two babes in the Tower?
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Mobson
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Who killed those two babes in the Tower?
Asked Andrew Castle to David Gower
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Norm Deplume
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Who killed those two babes in the Tower?
Asked Andrew Castle to David Gower
"Wasn't me," answered Dave
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Mobson
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Who killed those two babes in the Tower?
Asked Andrew Castle to David Gower
"Wasn't me," answered Dave
"I'm a coward, not brave"
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dai Cottomy
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Who killed those two babes in the Tower?
Asked Andrew Castle to David Gower
"Wasn't me," answered Dave
"I'm a coward, not brave"
With that, he beheaded a flower


Hardship abounded in days of yore
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tafkaj

Hardship abounded in days of yore,
They had to walk barefoot on th'floor
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Norm Deplume
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Hardship abounded in days of yore,
They had to walk barefoot on th'floor
With soles like leather
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Mobson
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Hardship abounded in days of yore,
They had to walk barefoot on th'floor
With soles like leather
No matter the weather
Edited by Mobson, Jul 10 2013, 08:14 PM.
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