| Limericks | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,839 Views) | |
| caissier | Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM Post #1 |
|
Administrator
|
waiting4atickle Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467 Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011 There was an old hero called Ajax who certainly lived life to the max His fighting was mythic His muscles terrythic From the years he'd spent building haystacks. Now they're gunning for poor old Brock Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Replies: | |
|---|---|
| Caro | Jul 11 2013, 08:40 AM Post #1101 |
|
Hardship abounded in days of yore, They had to walk barefoot on th'floor With soles like leather No matter the weather They set out with a hiss and a roar. A snake and a lion met up |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 11 2013, 01:16 PM Post #1102 |
|
A snake and a lion met up And shared a cool beer in a cup |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 11 2013, 03:43 PM Post #1103 |
|
A snake and a lion met up And shared a cool beer in a cup The snake said: "cheers, mate" |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 11 2013, 04:30 PM Post #1104 |
![]()
|
A snake and a lion met up And shared a cool beer in a cup The snake said: "cheers, mate" And slid off the plate |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 11 2013, 08:30 PM Post #1105 |
|
A snake and a lion met up And shared a cool beer in a cup The snake said: "cheers, mate" And slid off the plate The lion ate the snake and said: "I'm fed up" Nature is red in tooth and claw |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Jul 12 2013, 12:14 AM Post #1106 |
|
Nature is red in tooth and claw Subject to its own special law |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 12 2013, 01:53 PM Post #1107 |
|
Nature is red in tooth and claw Subject to its own special law No 'ifs' and no 'buts' |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 13 2013, 02:12 AM Post #1108 |
![]()
|
Nature is red in tooth and claw Subject to its own special law No 'ifs' and no 'buts' It's all blood and guts |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 13 2013, 04:18 AM Post #1109 |
|
Nature is red in tooth and claw Subject to its own special law No 'ifs' and no 'buts' It's all blood and guts Without even the use of a saw |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 13 2013, 04:19 AM Post #1110 |
|
Young Stuart's on a sticky wicket
Edited by Mobson, Jul 13 2013, 04:19 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Caro | Jul 13 2013, 06:42 AM Post #1111 |
|
Young Stuart's on a sticky wicket He walked not when he did nick it |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 15 2013, 12:38 PM Post #1112 |
|
Young Stuart's on a sticky wicket He walked not when he did nick it The debates that ensued |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 15 2013, 06:34 PM Post #1113 |
|
Young Stuart's on a sticky wicket He walked not when he did nick it The debates that ensued Were bordering on "rude" |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 15 2013, 10:59 PM Post #1114 |
![]()
|
Young Stuart's on a sticky wicket He walked not when he did nick it The debates that ensued Were bordering on "rude" By Gilchrist! It just isn't cricket! You won't catch a golfer not walking |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 16 2013, 12:12 AM Post #1115 |
|
You won't catch a golfer not walking Nor will he do very much talking Edited by Mobson, Jul 16 2013, 12:13 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| tafkaj | Jul 16 2013, 02:29 PM Post #1116 |
|
You won't catch a golfer not walking Nor will he do very much talking He'll polish his ball |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 16 2013, 02:39 PM Post #1117 |
|
You won't catch a golfer not walking Nor will he do very much talking He'll polish his ball In no time at all Edited by Mobson, Jul 16 2013, 02:39 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 16 2013, 08:35 PM Post #1118 |
|
You won't catch a golfer not walking Nor will he do very much talking He'll polish his ball In no time at all Then back to the day job,---stalking When windy, your hit your balls low |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 17 2013, 01:39 PM Post #1119 |
|
When windy, you hit your balls low Ensuring they travel fast and so Edited by Mobson, Jul 17 2013, 02:36 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 17 2013, 07:30 PM Post #1120 |
|
When windy, you hit your balls low Ensuring they travel fast and so They stay close to the ground Edited by Norm Deplume, Jul 18 2013, 01:52 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 19 2013, 10:20 AM Post #1121 |
|
When windy, you hit your balls low Ensuring they travel fast and so They stay close to the ground Often never to be found |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Jul 19 2013, 10:51 AM Post #1122 |
|
When windy, you hit your balls low Ensuring they travel fast and so They stay close to the ground Often never to be found Till the groundsman starts to mow. I'm off to the auction today |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 21 2013, 11:50 AM Post #1123 |
|
I'm off to the auction today but first a practise on eBay |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 21 2013, 11:50 AM Post #1124 |
|
Blank
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jul 21 2013, 11:51 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 21 2013, 07:34 PM Post #1125 |
|
I'm off to the auction today but first a practise on eBay I've been to the viewing |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 22 2013, 12:37 AM Post #1126 |
![]()
|
I'm off to the auction today but first a practise on eBay I've been to the viewing There wasn't much doing |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 22 2013, 11:14 AM Post #1127 |
|
I'm off to the auction today but first a practise on eBay I've been to the viewing There wasn't much doing So nothing more to say....* *Accept probably one of our most boring attempts! must be the heat
Edited by Mobson, Jul 22 2013, 11:15 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 22 2013, 11:17 AM Post #1128 |
|
What a feeble attempt at a limerick |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 22 2013, 01:39 PM Post #1129 |
|
What a feeble attempt at a limerick Coulda been writ by a country hick |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 22 2013, 04:26 PM Post #1130 |
![]()
|
What a feeble attempt at a limerick Coulda been writ by a country hick We need to get smoking |
![]() |
|
| becky sharp | Jul 22 2013, 06:21 PM Post #1131 |
|
What a feeble attempt at a limerick Coulda been writ by a country hick We need to get smoking With no more joking |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 23 2013, 12:20 AM Post #1132 |
![]()
|
What a feeble attempt at a limerick Coulda been writ by a country hick We need to get smoking With no more joking 'Bout John Thomas or Willy or Dick. Let's show them a clean pair of heels |
![]() |
|
| Rikiiboy | Jul 23 2013, 07:13 AM Post #1133 |
|
Let's show them a clean pair of heels And waggle like a couple of seals |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Jul 23 2013, 08:45 AM Post #1134 |
|
Let's show them a clean pair of heels And waggle like a couple of seals Have we feet or just tails? |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 24 2013, 02:55 AM Post #1135 |
|
Let's show them a clean pair of heels And waggle like a couple of seals Have we feet or just tails? Cos if all else fails |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 24 2013, 07:43 PM Post #1136 |
![]()
|
Let's show them a clean pair of heels And waggle like a couple of seals Have we feet or just tails? Cos if all else fails We'll have to drink stout at O'Neill's. Chilled stout is a terrible thing |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 25 2013, 12:27 AM Post #1137 |
|
Chilled stout is a terrible thing No happiness does it bring |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 25 2013, 04:08 PM Post #1138 |
|
Chilled stout is a terrible thing No happiness does it bring It's like ice cream on toast |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 25 2013, 04:26 PM Post #1139 |
![]()
|
Chilled stout is a terrible thing No happiness does it bring It's like ice cream on toast A cold day at the coast |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 26 2013, 04:41 PM Post #1140 |
|
Chilled stout is a terrible thing No happiness does it bring It's like ice cream on toast A cold day at the coast Or a 'night on the town,' without bling Alf Smith is a tailor in Cheam Edited by Norm Deplume, Jul 26 2013, 04:43 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 26 2013, 07:05 PM Post #1141 |
![]()
|
Alf Smith is a tailor in Cheam Who had an incredible dream |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 26 2013, 07:08 PM Post #1142 |
|
Alf Smith is a tailor in Cheam Who had an incredible dream To create a zoot suit Edited by Mobson, Jul 26 2013, 07:10 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 26 2013, 07:16 PM Post #1143 |
![]()
|
Alf Smith is a tailor in Cheam Who had an incredible dream To create a zoot suit Made out of root fruit |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 27 2013, 07:42 AM Post #1144 |
|
Alf Smith is a tailor in Cheam Who had an incredible dream To create a zoot suit Made out of root fruit But it all came apart at the seam Edited by Mobson, Jul 27 2013, 08:22 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 27 2013, 08:24 AM Post #1145 |
|
It's been mighty hot all this week |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Jul 27 2013, 08:54 AM Post #1146 |
|
It's been mighty hot all this week With sun like a isle that is Greek |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 27 2013, 10:45 AM Post #1147 |
|
It's been mighty hot all this week With sun like a isle that is Greek but it's all change tomorrow |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 28 2013, 11:26 AM Post #1148 |
|
It's been mighty hot all this week With sun like a isle that is Greek but it's all change tomorrow To bring us great sorrow |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 29 2013, 11:56 AM Post #1149 |
|
It's been mighty hot all this week With sun like a isle that is Greek but it's all change tomorrow To bring us great sorrow And back to a heatwave next week |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 29 2013, 11:56 AM Post #1150 |
|
Tell me why I hate Mondays goes the song |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 29 2013, 12:03 PM Post #1151 |
|
Tell me why I hate Mondays goes the song Because the week until Friday is so long |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 30 2013, 02:28 AM Post #1152 |
|
Tell me why I hate Mondays goes the song Because the week until Friday is so long ....................... If it were shorter .......................................................... Edited by Mobson, Jul 30 2013, 02:28 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 30 2013, 09:47 AM Post #1153 |
|
Tell me why I hate Mondays goes the song Because the week until Friday is so long I'd stick to water If it were shorter .......................................................... |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 31 2013, 04:46 AM Post #1154 |
|
Tell me why I hate Mondays goes the song Because the week until Friday is so long I'd stick to water If it were shorter Somehow it's all gone a bit Pete Tong |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 31 2013, 04:48 AM Post #1155 |
|
A decrepit old gas man named Peter |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 31 2013, 09:45 AM Post #1156 |
|
A decrepit old gas man named Peter Called to fix my hot water heater |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 1 2013, 03:52 PM Post #1157 |
|
A decrepit old gas man named Peter Called to fix my hot water heater He bodged it up proper |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 1 2013, 06:49 PM Post #1158 |
![]()
|
A decrepit old gas man named Peter Called to fix my hot water heater He bodged it up proper And then came a cropper |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 2 2013, 12:22 PM Post #1159 |
|
A decrepit old gas man named Peter Called to fix my hot water heater He bodged it up proper And then came a cropper His body's now resting in peat - er! |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 2 2013, 12:23 PM Post #1160 |
|
What happened to Rita meter-maid?
Edited by Mobson, Aug 2 2013, 12:26 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 2 2013, 03:01 PM Post #1161 |
|
What happened to Rita meter-maid? It's said she was drunk and got laid! |
![]() |
|
| tafkaj | Aug 3 2013, 11:55 AM Post #1162 |
|
What happened to Rita meter-maid? It's said she was drunk and got laid! But Lennon said: "No!" |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 4 2013, 12:00 PM Post #1163 |
![]()
|
What happened to Rita meter-maid? It's said she was drunk and got laid! But Lennon said: "No!" (Although first he said "O!") |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 5 2013, 10:00 AM Post #1164 |
|
What happened to Rita meter-maid? It's said she was drunk and got laid! But Lennon said: "No!" (Although first he said "O!") No news of her then I'm afraid |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 5 2013, 10:03 AM Post #1165 |
|
There once was a sculptor named Phideous
Edited by Mobson, Aug 5 2013, 10:05 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 5 2013, 10:27 AM Post #1166 |
|
There once was a sculptor named Phideous Whose statues, quite frankly, were hideous |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 5 2013, 02:53 PM Post #1167 |
|
There once was a sculptor named Phideous Whose statues, quite frankly, were hideous With no Bonhams to sell 'em |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 6 2013, 11:46 AM Post #1168 |
|
There once was a sculptor named Phideous Whose statues, quite frankly, were hideous With no Bonhams to sell 'em Took a big hammer and fell 'em |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 6 2013, 01:45 PM Post #1169 |
|
There once was a sculptor named Phideous Whose statues, quite frankly, were hideous With no Bonhams to sell 'em Took a big hammer and fell 'em For reasons that were rather invidious A costume designer called Mabel |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 6 2013, 02:06 PM Post #1170 |
![]()
|
A costume designer called Mabel Took a cloth that was spread on't table |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 6 2013, 02:08 PM Post #1171 |
|
A costume designer called Mabel Took a cloth that was spread on't table It was all white and lacy |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 6 2013, 02:21 PM Post #1172 |
|
A costume designer called Mabel Took a cloth that was spread on't table It was all white and lacy Made a dress that was racy |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 7 2013, 01:27 PM Post #1173 |
|
A costume designer called Mabel Took a cloth that was spread on't table It was all white and lacy Made a dress that was racy But did not have a designer's label A motor car buff called Ricardo |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 7 2013, 02:53 PM Post #1174 |
|
A motor car buff called Ricardo designed a prototype like Leonardo Edited by Mobson, Aug 7 2013, 10:12 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| tafkaj | Aug 10 2013, 12:36 PM Post #1175 |
|
A motor car buff called Ricardo Designed a prototype like Leonardo, But, just like his sketches, |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 11 2013, 01:11 AM Post #1176 |
![]()
|
A motor car buff called Ricardo Designed a prototype like Leonardo, But, just like his sketches, The vision outstretches |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 11 2013, 01:57 AM Post #1177 |
|
A motor car buff called Ricardo Designed a prototype like Leonardo, But, just like his sketches, The vision outstretches And seems just a test of bravado. There once was a boy, Joe by name |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 11 2013, 11:01 AM Post #1178 |
|
There once was a boy, Joe by name Who happened one day upon an old flame |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 12 2013, 12:41 AM Post #1179 |
|
There once was a boy, Joe by name Who happened one day upon an old flame They married next day |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 12 2013, 02:51 PM Post #1180 |
|
There once was a boy, Joe by name Who happened one day upon an old flame They married next day Rolled lots in the hay |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 13 2013, 12:15 AM Post #1181 |
![]()
|
There once was a boy, Joe by name Who happened one day upon an old flame They married next day Rolled lots in the hay And set fire to the barn - what a shame! A mustachioed man from Montrose |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 13 2013, 12:23 AM Post #1182 |
|
A mustachioed man from Montrose Tried hard for a way to enclose |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 13 2013, 10:46 AM Post #1183 |
|
A mustachioed man from Montrose Tried hard for a way to enclose Gold for cash |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 13 2013, 11:33 AM Post #1184 |
|
A mustachioed man from Montrose Tried hard for a way to enclose Gold for cash To cut a dash |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 13 2013, 04:22 PM Post #1185 |
|
A mustachioed man from Montrose Tried hard for a way to enclose Gold for cash To cut a dash But when it came to the crunch, he just froze A Gentleman who was very well heeled |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 13 2013, 11:17 PM Post #1186 |
![]()
|
A Gentleman who was very well heeled Lost his shoes in a newly-ploughed field |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 14 2013, 01:08 AM Post #1187 |
|
A Gentleman who was very well heeled Lost his shoes in a newly-ploughed field He scampered bare-foot |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 14 2013, 01:56 AM Post #1188 |
|
|
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 14 2013, 01:56 AM Post #1189 |
|
A Gentleman who was very well heeled Lost his shoes in a newly-ploughed field He scampered bare-foot Till he found an old boot Edited by Mobson, Aug 14 2013, 01:57 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 14 2013, 01:49 PM Post #1190 |
|
A Gentleman who was very well heeled Lost his shoes in a newly-ploughed field He scampered bare-foot Till he found an old boot, Fell in love and their future was sealed At a ball down in Stratford-on-Avon Edited by Norm Deplume, Aug 14 2013, 01:53 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 14 2013, 02:21 PM Post #1191 |
|
At a ball down in Stratford-on-Avon Attended by Countryfile's John Craven |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 14 2013, 11:30 PM Post #1192 |
![]()
|
At a ball down in Stratford-on-Avon Attended by Countryfile's John Craven Late arrivals were called |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 15 2013, 11:04 AM Post #1193 |
|
At a ball down in Stratford-on-Avon Attended by Countryfile's John Craven Late arrivals were called By a chap who was bald |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 15 2013, 03:30 PM Post #1194 |
|
At a ball down in Stratford-on-Avon Attended by Countryfile's John Craven Late arrivals were called By a chap who was bald And on top of his head sat a raven The guests tried their best not to comment |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 15 2013, 03:42 PM Post #1195 |
|
The guests tried their best not to comment It was clear as the day, he was 'bent' |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 16 2013, 02:13 PM Post #1196 |
|
The guests tried their best not to comment It was clear as the day, he was 'bent' His wrist was so limp |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 16 2013, 02:35 PM Post #1197 |
|
The guests tried their best not to comment It was clear as the day, he was 'bent' His wrist was so limp He looked such a wimp |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 16 2013, 03:26 PM Post #1198 |
|
The guests tried their best not to comment It was clear as the day, he was 'bent' His wrist was so limp He looked such a wimp He's a Member of Parliament A publican named Joe Kilbride |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 16 2013, 04:20 PM Post #1199 |
|
A publican named Joe Kilbride Under his counter, a gun did he hide |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 17 2013, 01:51 PM Post #1200 |
|
A publican named Joe Kilbride Under his counter, a gun did he hide A pre-war Smith and Wesson |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Mornington Crescent · Next Topic » |







must be the heat
7:07 AM Jul 13