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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,838 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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Mobson
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A publican named Joe Kilbride
Under his counter, a gun did he hide
A pre-war Smith and Wesson
An illegal possession
Edited by Mobson, Aug 17 2013, 02:04 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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A publican named Joe Kilbride
Under his counter, a gun did he hide
A pre-war Smith and Wesson
An illegal possession
For punters he cannot abide



I like the concept of fracking
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dai Cottomy
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I like the concept of fracking
I'll give it my whole hearted backing
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Norm Deplume
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I like the concept of fracking
I'll give it my whole hearted backing
When Police give in
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dai Cottomy
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I like the concept of fracking
I'll give it my whole hearted backing
When Police give in
Bring out the Gin
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tafkaj

I like the concept of fracking
I'll give it my whole hearted backing
When Police give in
Bring out the Gin
And let's get back to snake whacking.

***************************************

When Jojo was told to "Get Back"
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dai Cottomy
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When Jojo was told to "Get Back"
He crawled reluctantly into the sack
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waiting4atickle
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When Jojo was told to "Get Back"
He crawled reluctantly into the sack
With his egg and his spoon

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dai Cottomy
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When Jojo was told to "Get Back"
He crawled reluctantly into the sack
With his egg and his spoon
Whistling a Beatles tune
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Caro

When Jojo was told to "Get Back"
He crawled reluctantly into the sack
With his egg and his spoon
Whistling a Beatles tune
But the racing knack he did lack.


The sack race was won by dear Joan
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Norm Deplume
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The sack race was won by dear Joan
She was as chuffed as a dog with a bone
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waiting4atickle
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The sack race was won by dear Joan
She was as chuffed as a dog with a bone
But the dog bit her leg

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Mobson
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The sack race was won by dear Joan
She was as chuffed as a dog with a bone
But the dog bit her leg
And promptly dropped dead
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Norm Deplume
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The sack race was won by dear Joan
She was as chuffed as a dog with a bone
But the dog bit her leg
And promptly dropped dead
So I dialled 999 on my 'phone



The high jump was set at a metre

















Edited by Norm Deplume, Aug 24 2013, 11:09 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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The high jump was set at a metre
Top favourite was our postman, Peter
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tafkaj

The high jump was set at a metre -
Top favourite was our postman, Peter;
But Isinbayeva
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Norm Deplume
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The high jump was set at a metre -
Top favourite was our postman, Peter;
But Isinbayeva
The Czech "start-flag-waver"
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waiting4atickle
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The high jump was set at a metre -
Top favourite was our postman, Peter;
But Isinbayeva
The Czech "start-flag-waver"
Used a pole and got higher - the cheater!


There was a young hurdler from Hull

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Mobson
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There was a young hurdler from Hull
Who fell and fractured his skull
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Norm Deplume
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There was a young hurdler from Hull
Who fell and fractured his skull
His batten went flying
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tafkaj

[Just for the record, Yelena Isinbayeva is Russian, and at the London Olympics Opening Ceremony the Russian flag was carried by Maria Sharapova.]

There was a young hurdler from Hull
Who fell and fractured his skull
His batten went flying
And led to him crying
Edited by tafkaj, Aug 31 2013, 11:58 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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[
There was a young hurdler from Hull
Who fell and fractured his skull
His batten went flying
And led to him crying[/quote]
[Just for the record, Yelena Isinbayeva is Russian, and at the London Olympics Opening Ceremony the Russian flag was carried by Maria ASharapova.]

Never mind Eh taf? Someone had to dit I suppose
Edited by Norm Deplume, Aug 27 2013, 03:22 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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[
There was a young hurdler from Hull
Who fell and fractured his skull
His batten went flying
And led to him crying
And he fled to the Isle of Mull



A sturdy male canoeist from Leeds
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Mobson
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A sturdy male canoeist from Leeds
Tried maintaining his exacting needs
Edited by Mobson, Aug 27 2013, 08:56 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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A sturdy male canoeist from Leeds
Tried maintaining his exacting needs
Did press-ups at dawn
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dai Cottomy
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A sturdy male canoeist from Leeds
Tried maintaining his exacting needs
Did press-ups at dawn
On his newly mown lawn
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Norm Deplume
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A sturdy male canoeist from Leeds
Tried maintaining his exacting needs
Did press-ups at dawn
On his newly mown lawn
And his breakfast was edible seeds


An up-market cyclist from Chelsea
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Mobson
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An up-market cyclist from Chelsea
Met a traveller from far away Kelsey
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Norm Deplume
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An up-market cyclist from Chelsea
Met a traveller from far away Kelsey
The traveller was bald
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Mobson
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An up-market cyclist from Chelsea
Met a traveller from far away Kelsey
The traveller was bald
Many stories he told
Edited by Mobson, Aug 29 2013, 10:28 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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An up-market cyclist from Chelsea
Met a traveller from far away Kelsey
The traveller was bald
Many stories he told
'Bout a woman he knows called Elsie


The strangest story of them all
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waiting4atickle
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The strangest story of them all
Concerned a holiday in Porthcawl


In what dialect does 'told' rhyme with 'bald'?

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Norm Deplume
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In what dialect does 'told' rhyme with 'bald'?
##############################

Outer Mongolian
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Mobson
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Mobbesian of course!
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Mobson
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The strangest story of them all
Concerned a holiday in Porthcawl
Ruined by gales
Edited by Mobson, Aug 31 2013, 11:43 AM.
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tafkaj

The strangest story of them all
Concerned a holiday in Porthcawl
Ruined by gales
And a pod of fat whales
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dai Cottomy
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The strangest story of them all
Concerned a holiday in Porthcawl
Ruined by gales
And a pod of fat whales
That got washed ashore by a squall


Moby Dick was a lively old whale


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Norm Deplume
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Moby Dick was a lively old whale
Ah yes! But thereby hangs a tale
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Norm Deplume
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Moby Dick was a lively old whale
Ah yes! But thereby hangs a tale
Of a man swallowed whole
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Mobson
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Moby Dick was a lively old whale
Ah yes! But thereby hangs a tale
Of a man swallowed whole
Hook, line, sinker and soul
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dai Cottomy
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Moby Dick was a lively old whale
Ah yes! But thereby hangs a tale
Of a man swallowed whole
Hook, line, sinker and soul
And a ship cast adrift in a gale.

(several tales there)

The first mate led the mutinous crew



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Caro

The first mate led the mutinous crew
To an isle on the Pacific blue
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waiting4atickle
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The first mate led the mutinous crew
To an isle on the Pacific blue
Blessed by nature's bounty

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Caro

The first mate led the mutinous crew
To an isle on the Pacific blue
Blessed by nature's bounty
Far from Fletcher's county (might have muddled mutinies here)
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waiting4atickle
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The first mate led the mutinous crew
To an isle on the Pacific blue
Blessed by nature's bounty
Far from Fletcher's county
With lots of fair maidens to...talk to.


There was a fair maiden from Kent

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Mobson
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There was a fair maiden from Kent
With a penchant for lads who were bent
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tafkaj

There was a fair maiden from Kent
With a penchant for lads who were bent
She'd ply them with hops
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Norm Deplume
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There was a fair maiden from Kent
With a penchant for lads who were bent
She'd ply them with hops
Then 'phone for the cops
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Mobson
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There was a fair maiden from Kent
With a penchant for lads who were bent
She'd ply them with hops
Then 'phone for the cops
Well shopped, to prison they were sent
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Mobson
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In prison they worked on their abs
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Norm Deplume
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In prison they worked on their abs
Then study photos of Windsor...Babs!
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dai Cottomy
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In prison they worked on their abs
Then study photos of Windsor...Babs!
Which raised their morale
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Mobson
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In prison they worked on their abs
Then study photos of Windsor...Babs!
Which raised their morale
This Brit femme fatale
...................................................
Edited by Mobson, Sep 5 2013, 06:51 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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New 1st line please.
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Mobson
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Sorry Norm...not sure what happened there - there's still one line to go...
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Norm Deplume
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My silly fault ! ! ! !




In prison they worked on their abs
Then study photos of Windsor...Babs!
Which raised their morale
This Brit femme fatale
Then back to their cells for their jabs




The Governor is Charles Henry Brown
Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 5 2013, 07:43 PM.
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Mobson
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No! It was not your "silly fault"... it was mine - I had put in two lines instead of one which would have made three rhyming lines in the middle of the Limerick! I deleted it once I saw your message...status quo maintained! :wub:


The Governor is Charles Henry Brown
A disciplinarian of great renown
Edited by Mobson, Sep 5 2013, 08:02 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Absolutely not! Ever the gentleman I insist on taking all of the blame.




The Governor is Charles Henry Brown
A disciplinarian of great renown
Always carries a whip
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waiting4atickle
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The Governor is Charles Henry Brown
A disciplinarian of great renown
Always carries a whip
And wears a gymslip

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Caro

The Governor is Charles Henry Brown
A disciplinarian of great renown
Always carries a whip
And wears a gymslip
And smacks us around with a frown.

Old Mary was down but not out

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tafkaj

Old Mary was down but not out,
Having failed to land a rainbow trout
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Norm Deplume
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Old Mary was down but not out,
Having failed to land a rainbow trout
For bait, she used shrimp
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dai Cottomy
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Old Mary was down but not out,
Having failed to land a rainbow trout
For bait, she used shrimp
But the line went limp
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Mobson
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Old Mary was down but not out,
Having failed to land a rainbow trout
For bait, she used shrimp
But the line went limp
Leaving her catch very much in doubt
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Mobson
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To the chippy she made hasty retreat
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Norm Deplume
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To the chippy she made hasty retreat
Which was tricky,... she had pigeon feet
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waiting4atickle
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To the chippy she made hasty retreat
Which was tricky,... she had pigeon feet
And soon she went flying

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Mobson
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Into a rage whilst denying
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Norm Deplume
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To the chippy she made hasty retreat
Which was tricky,... she had pigeon feet
And soon she went flying
Into a rage whilst denying
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dai Cottomy
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To the chippy she made hasty retreat
Which was tricky,... she had pigeon feet
And soon she went flying
Into a rage whilst denying
That she only had bird seed to eat


The pigeon is a versatile bird
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Mobson
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The pigeon is a versatile bird
Voracious at leaving its turd
Edited by Mobson, Sep 9 2013, 05:35 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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The pigeon is a versatile bird
Voracious at leaving it's turd
It poos as it coos

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Mobson
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The pigeon is a versatile bird
Voracious at leaving its turd
It poos as it coos
Knows nothing of loos
Edited by Mobson, Sep 9 2013, 05:36 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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The pigeon is a versatile bird
Voracious at leaving its turd
It poos as it coos
Knows nothing of loos
And shags "on-the-wing"...so I've heard!



I played golf with a PGA pro'
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waiting4atickle
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I played golf with a PGA pro'
Halfway round, his shaft started to glow

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Mobson
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I played golf with a PGA pro'
Halfway round, his shaft started to glow
Was it some biochemical
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dai Cottomy
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I played golf with a PGA pro'
Halfway round, his shaft started to glow
Was it some biochemical,
Or something epidemical?
Edited by dai Cottomy, Sep 10 2013, 11:59 AM.
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tafkaj

I played golf with a PGA pro'
Halfway round, his shaft started to glow
Was it some biochemical,
Or something epidemical,
Or a mirror attached to his toe?


[Think about it ... ... OK, that's enough.]

********************************************

The doorbell rang - I let him in
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Norm Deplume
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The doorbell rang - I let him in
He was short and very thin
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waiting4atickle
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The doorbell rang - I let him in
He was short and very thin
With a beady eye

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dai Cottomy
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The doorbell rang - I let him in
He was short and very thin
With a beady eye
And a pink bow tie
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waiting4atickle
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The doorbell rang - I let him in
He was short and very thin
With a beady eye
And a pink bow tie
That matched the colour of his gin.


An illusionist known as Vince

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Norm Deplume
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An illusionist known as Vince
Was partial to brown-sugared quince
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Mobson
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An illusionist known as Vince
Was partial to brown-sugared quince
Delicious with cheese
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dai Cottomy
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An illusionist known as Vince
Was partial to brown-sugared quince
Delicious with cheese
And of lemon a squeeze
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Norm Deplume
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An illusionist known as Vince
Was partial to brown-sugared quince
Delicious with cheese
And of lemon a squeeze
After which, he'd have savoury beef mince


His vanishing trick was quite good
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waiting4atickle
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His vanishing trick was quite good
When he disappeared into the wood

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Norm Deplume
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His vanishing trick was quite good
When he disappeared into the wood
With policemen and hound
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waiting4atickle
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His vanishing trick was quite good
When he disappeared into the wood
With policemen and hound
Fine-combing the ground

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Mobson
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His vanishing trick was quite good
When he disappeared into the wood
With policemen and hound
Fine-combing the ground
At camouflage he's really very good

****************************

The longest he hid was three months
Edited by Mobson, Sep 13 2013, 11:21 AM.
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tafkaj

The longest he hid was three months,
But still he couldn't find a rhyme <laugh>
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Norm Deplume
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The longest he hid was three months
But he only ever did that just once <tiphat> (not quite a rhyme but about as close as it gets)
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Mobson
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The longest he hid was three months
But he only ever did that just once
Cos he got so dehydrated
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dai Cottomy
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The longest he hid was three months
But he only ever did that just once
Cos he got so dehydrated
When inebriated
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Mobson
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The longest he hid was three months
But he only ever did that just once
Cos he got so dehydrated
When inebriated
Made him feel like a silly old ponce


;) not one of our best
Edited by Mobson, Sep 16 2013, 11:19 AM.
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Mobson
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Who would you give your last Rolo?
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dai Cottomy
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Who would you give your last Rolo?
The bloke with whom I play polo
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tafkaj

Who would you give your last Rolo?
The bloke with whom I play polo,
'Cos he'd play out each chukker
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dai Cottomy
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Who would you give your last Rolo?
The bloke with whom I play polo,
'Cos he'd play out each chukker
And he's also my mucker
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tafkaj

Who would you give your last Rolo?
The bloke with whom I play polo,
'Cos he'd play out each chukker
And he's also my mucker
And goes by the name of Han Solo.

*********************************

Although it gets cold in the Arctic
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