| Limericks | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,838 Views) | |
| caissier | Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467 Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011 There was an old hero called Ajax who certainly lived life to the max His fighting was mythic His muscles terrythic From the years he'd spent building haystacks. Now they're gunning for poor old Brock Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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| Mobson | Aug 17 2013, 02:03 PM Post #1201 |
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A publican named Joe Kilbride Under his counter, a gun did he hide A pre-war Smith and Wesson An illegal possession Edited by Mobson, Aug 17 2013, 02:04 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 18 2013, 11:11 AM Post #1202 |
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A publican named Joe Kilbride Under his counter, a gun did he hide A pre-war Smith and Wesson An illegal possession For punters he cannot abide I like the concept of fracking |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 18 2013, 01:39 PM Post #1203 |
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I like the concept of fracking I'll give it my whole hearted backing |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 19 2013, 10:40 AM Post #1204 |
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I like the concept of fracking I'll give it my whole hearted backing When Police give in |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 19 2013, 02:33 PM Post #1205 |
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I like the concept of fracking I'll give it my whole hearted backing When Police give in Bring out the Gin |
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| tafkaj | Aug 20 2013, 01:24 PM Post #1206 |
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I like the concept of fracking I'll give it my whole hearted backing When Police give in Bring out the Gin And let's get back to snake whacking. *************************************** When Jojo was told to "Get Back" |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 20 2013, 04:01 PM Post #1207 |
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When Jojo was told to "Get Back" He crawled reluctantly into the sack |
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| waiting4atickle | Aug 20 2013, 04:12 PM Post #1208 |
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When Jojo was told to "Get Back" He crawled reluctantly into the sack With his egg and his spoon |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 20 2013, 04:17 PM Post #1209 |
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When Jojo was told to "Get Back" He crawled reluctantly into the sack With his egg and his spoon Whistling a Beatles tune |
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| Caro | Aug 20 2013, 08:32 PM Post #1210 |
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When Jojo was told to "Get Back" He crawled reluctantly into the sack With his egg and his spoon Whistling a Beatles tune But the racing knack he did lack. The sack race was won by dear Joan |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 21 2013, 09:58 AM Post #1211 |
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The sack race was won by dear Joan She was as chuffed as a dog with a bone |
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| waiting4atickle | Aug 21 2013, 09:45 PM Post #1212 |
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The sack race was won by dear Joan She was as chuffed as a dog with a bone But the dog bit her leg |
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| Mobson | Aug 22 2013, 11:44 AM Post #1213 |
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The sack race was won by dear Joan She was as chuffed as a dog with a bone But the dog bit her leg And promptly dropped dead |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 23 2013, 10:49 AM Post #1214 |
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The sack race was won by dear Joan She was as chuffed as a dog with a bone But the dog bit her leg And promptly dropped dead So I dialled 999 on my 'phone The high jump was set at a metre Edited by Norm Deplume, Aug 24 2013, 11:09 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 24 2013, 11:11 AM Post #1215 |
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The high jump was set at a metre Top favourite was our postman, Peter |
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| tafkaj | Aug 24 2013, 11:33 AM Post #1216 |
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The high jump was set at a metre - Top favourite was our postman, Peter; But Isinbayeva |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 24 2013, 02:54 PM Post #1217 |
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The high jump was set at a metre - Top favourite was our postman, Peter; But Isinbayeva The Czech "start-flag-waver" |
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| waiting4atickle | Aug 26 2013, 11:42 PM Post #1218 |
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The high jump was set at a metre - Top favourite was our postman, Peter; But Isinbayeva The Czech "start-flag-waver" Used a pole and got higher - the cheater! There was a young hurdler from Hull |
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| Mobson | Aug 27 2013, 10:35 AM Post #1219 |
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There was a young hurdler from Hull Who fell and fractured his skull |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 27 2013, 10:59 AM Post #1220 |
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There was a young hurdler from Hull Who fell and fractured his skull His batten went flying |
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| tafkaj | Aug 27 2013, 12:56 PM Post #1221 |
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[Just for the record, Yelena Isinbayeva is Russian, and at the London Olympics Opening Ceremony the Russian flag was carried by Maria Sharapova.] There was a young hurdler from Hull Who fell and fractured his skull His batten went flying And led to him crying Edited by tafkaj, Aug 31 2013, 11:58 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 27 2013, 03:21 PM Post #1222 |
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[ There was a young hurdler from Hull Who fell and fractured his skull His batten went flying And led to him crying[/quote] [Just for the record, Yelena Isinbayeva is Russian, and at the London Olympics Opening Ceremony the Russian flag was carried by Maria ASharapova.] Never mind Eh taf? Someone had to dit I suppose Edited by Norm Deplume, Aug 27 2013, 03:22 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 27 2013, 03:29 PM Post #1223 |
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[ There was a young hurdler from Hull Who fell and fractured his skull His batten went flying And led to him crying And he fled to the Isle of Mull A sturdy male canoeist from Leeds |
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| Mobson | Aug 27 2013, 08:55 PM Post #1224 |
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A sturdy male canoeist from Leeds Tried maintaining his exacting needs Edited by Mobson, Aug 27 2013, 08:56 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 28 2013, 10:09 AM Post #1225 |
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A sturdy male canoeist from Leeds Tried maintaining his exacting needs Did press-ups at dawn |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 28 2013, 11:23 AM Post #1226 |
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A sturdy male canoeist from Leeds Tried maintaining his exacting needs Did press-ups at dawn On his newly mown lawn |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 28 2013, 07:04 PM Post #1227 |
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A sturdy male canoeist from Leeds Tried maintaining his exacting needs Did press-ups at dawn On his newly mown lawn And his breakfast was edible seeds An up-market cyclist from Chelsea |
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| Mobson | Aug 29 2013, 11:17 AM Post #1228 |
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An up-market cyclist from Chelsea Met a traveller from far away Kelsey |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 29 2013, 01:22 PM Post #1229 |
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An up-market cyclist from Chelsea Met a traveller from far away Kelsey The traveller was bald |
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| Mobson | Aug 29 2013, 10:28 PM Post #1230 |
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An up-market cyclist from Chelsea Met a traveller from far away Kelsey The traveller was bald Many stories he told Edited by Mobson, Aug 29 2013, 10:28 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 30 2013, 12:03 PM Post #1231 |
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An up-market cyclist from Chelsea Met a traveller from far away Kelsey The traveller was bald Many stories he told 'Bout a woman he knows called Elsie The strangest story of them all |
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| waiting4atickle | Aug 30 2013, 12:17 PM Post #1232 |
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The strangest story of them all Concerned a holiday in Porthcawl In what dialect does 'told' rhyme with 'bald'? |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 30 2013, 05:24 PM Post #1233 |
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In what dialect does 'told' rhyme with 'bald'? ############################## Outer Mongolian |
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| Mobson | Aug 31 2013, 11:41 AM Post #1234 |
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Mobbesian of course! |
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| Mobson | Aug 31 2013, 11:42 AM Post #1235 |
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The strangest story of them all Concerned a holiday in Porthcawl Ruined by gales Edited by Mobson, Aug 31 2013, 11:43 AM.
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| tafkaj | Aug 31 2013, 12:00 PM Post #1236 |
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The strangest story of them all Concerned a holiday in Porthcawl Ruined by gales And a pod of fat whales |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 31 2013, 02:22 PM Post #1237 |
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The strangest story of them all Concerned a holiday in Porthcawl Ruined by gales And a pod of fat whales That got washed ashore by a squall Moby Dick was a lively old whale |
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| Norm Deplume | Aug 31 2013, 02:38 PM Post #1238 |
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Moby Dick was a lively old whale Ah yes! But thereby hangs a tale |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 1 2013, 03:02 PM Post #1239 |
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Moby Dick was a lively old whale Ah yes! But thereby hangs a tale Of a man swallowed whole |
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| Mobson | Sep 2 2013, 11:44 AM Post #1240 |
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Moby Dick was a lively old whale Ah yes! But thereby hangs a tale Of a man swallowed whole Hook, line, sinker and soul |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 2 2013, 05:19 PM Post #1241 |
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Moby Dick was a lively old whale Ah yes! But thereby hangs a tale Of a man swallowed whole Hook, line, sinker and soul And a ship cast adrift in a gale. (several tales there) The first mate led the mutinous crew |
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| Caro | Sep 2 2013, 09:46 PM Post #1242 |
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The first mate led the mutinous crew To an isle on the Pacific blue |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 2 2013, 11:24 PM Post #1243 |
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The first mate led the mutinous crew To an isle on the Pacific blue Blessed by nature's bounty |
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| Caro | Sep 3 2013, 12:11 AM Post #1244 |
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The first mate led the mutinous crew To an isle on the Pacific blue Blessed by nature's bounty Far from Fletcher's county (might have muddled mutinies here) |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 3 2013, 01:12 AM Post #1245 |
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The first mate led the mutinous crew To an isle on the Pacific blue Blessed by nature's bounty Far from Fletcher's county With lots of fair maidens to...talk to. There was a fair maiden from Kent |
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| Mobson | Sep 3 2013, 02:32 AM Post #1246 |
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There was a fair maiden from Kent With a penchant for lads who were bent |
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| tafkaj | Sep 3 2013, 01:23 PM Post #1247 |
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There was a fair maiden from Kent With a penchant for lads who were bent She'd ply them with hops |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 3 2013, 04:42 PM Post #1248 |
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There was a fair maiden from Kent With a penchant for lads who were bent She'd ply them with hops Then 'phone for the cops |
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| Mobson | Sep 4 2013, 09:45 AM Post #1249 |
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There was a fair maiden from Kent With a penchant for lads who were bent She'd ply them with hops Then 'phone for the cops Well shopped, to prison they were sent |
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| Mobson | Sep 4 2013, 09:48 AM Post #1250 |
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In prison they worked on their abs |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 4 2013, 12:37 PM Post #1251 |
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In prison they worked on their abs Then study photos of Windsor...Babs! |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 5 2013, 12:15 PM Post #1252 |
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In prison they worked on their abs Then study photos of Windsor...Babs! Which raised their morale |
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| Mobson | Sep 5 2013, 05:42 PM Post #1253 |
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In prison they worked on their abs Then study photos of Windsor...Babs! Which raised their morale This Brit femme fatale ................................................... Edited by Mobson, Sep 5 2013, 06:51 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 5 2013, 06:37 PM Post #1254 |
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New 1st line please. |
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| Mobson | Sep 5 2013, 06:52 PM Post #1255 |
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Sorry Norm...not sure what happened there - there's still one line to go... |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 5 2013, 07:38 PM Post #1256 |
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My silly fault ! ! ! ! In prison they worked on their abs Then study photos of Windsor...Babs! Which raised their morale This Brit femme fatale Then back to their cells for their jabs The Governor is Charles Henry Brown Edited by Norm Deplume, Sep 5 2013, 07:43 PM.
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| Mobson | Sep 5 2013, 08:01 PM Post #1257 |
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No! It was not your "silly fault"... it was mine - I had put in two lines instead of one which would have made three rhyming lines in the middle of the Limerick! I deleted it once I saw your message...status quo maintained! The Governor is Charles Henry Brown A disciplinarian of great renown Edited by Mobson, Sep 5 2013, 08:02 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 6 2013, 04:46 PM Post #1258 |
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Absolutely not! Ever the gentleman I insist on taking all of the blame. The Governor is Charles Henry Brown A disciplinarian of great renown Always carries a whip |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 6 2013, 04:51 PM Post #1259 |
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The Governor is Charles Henry Brown A disciplinarian of great renown Always carries a whip And wears a gymslip |
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| Caro | Sep 6 2013, 11:43 PM Post #1260 |
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The Governor is Charles Henry Brown A disciplinarian of great renown Always carries a whip And wears a gymslip And smacks us around with a frown. Old Mary was down but not out |
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| tafkaj | Sep 7 2013, 11:28 AM Post #1261 |
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Old Mary was down but not out, Having failed to land a rainbow trout |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 7 2013, 03:11 PM Post #1262 |
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Old Mary was down but not out, Having failed to land a rainbow trout For bait, she used shrimp |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 7 2013, 04:28 PM Post #1263 |
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Old Mary was down but not out, Having failed to land a rainbow trout For bait, she used shrimp But the line went limp |
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| Mobson | Sep 7 2013, 08:14 PM Post #1264 |
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Old Mary was down but not out, Having failed to land a rainbow trout For bait, she used shrimp But the line went limp Leaving her catch very much in doubt |
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| Mobson | Sep 7 2013, 08:15 PM Post #1265 |
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To the chippy she made hasty retreat |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 7 2013, 10:23 PM Post #1266 |
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To the chippy she made hasty retreat Which was tricky,... she had pigeon feet |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 7 2013, 11:16 PM Post #1267 |
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To the chippy she made hasty retreat Which was tricky,... she had pigeon feet And soon she went flying |
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| Mobson | Sep 8 2013, 08:25 AM Post #1268 |
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Into a rage whilst denying |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 9 2013, 10:20 AM Post #1269 |
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To the chippy she made hasty retreat Which was tricky,... she had pigeon feet And soon she went flying Into a rage whilst denying |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 9 2013, 12:16 PM Post #1270 |
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To the chippy she made hasty retreat Which was tricky,... she had pigeon feet And soon she went flying Into a rage whilst denying That she only had bird seed to eat The pigeon is a versatile bird |
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| Mobson | Sep 9 2013, 12:22 PM Post #1271 |
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The pigeon is a versatile bird Voracious at leaving its turd Edited by Mobson, Sep 9 2013, 05:35 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 9 2013, 02:02 PM Post #1272 |
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The pigeon is a versatile bird Voracious at leaving it's turd It poos as it coos |
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| Mobson | Sep 9 2013, 05:33 PM Post #1273 |
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The pigeon is a versatile bird Voracious at leaving its turd It poos as it coos Knows nothing of loos Edited by Mobson, Sep 9 2013, 05:36 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 9 2013, 06:44 PM Post #1274 |
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The pigeon is a versatile bird Voracious at leaving its turd It poos as it coos Knows nothing of loos And shags "on-the-wing"...so I've heard! I played golf with a PGA pro' |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 9 2013, 09:19 PM Post #1275 |
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I played golf with a PGA pro' Halfway round, his shaft started to glow |
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| Mobson | Sep 10 2013, 10:20 AM Post #1276 |
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I played golf with a PGA pro' Halfway round, his shaft started to glow Was it some biochemical |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 10 2013, 11:58 AM Post #1277 |
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I played golf with a PGA pro' Halfway round, his shaft started to glow Was it some biochemical, Or something epidemical? Edited by dai Cottomy, Sep 10 2013, 11:59 AM.
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| tafkaj | Sep 10 2013, 03:28 PM Post #1278 |
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I played golf with a PGA pro' Halfway round, his shaft started to glow Was it some biochemical, Or something epidemical, Or a mirror attached to his toe? [Think about it ... ... OK, that's enough.] ******************************************** The doorbell rang - I let him in |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 10 2013, 04:52 PM Post #1279 |
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The doorbell rang - I let him in He was short and very thin |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 10 2013, 05:28 PM Post #1280 |
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The doorbell rang - I let him in He was short and very thin With a beady eye |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 10 2013, 06:23 PM Post #1281 |
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The doorbell rang - I let him in He was short and very thin With a beady eye And a pink bow tie |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 10 2013, 11:13 PM Post #1282 |
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The doorbell rang - I let him in He was short and very thin With a beady eye And a pink bow tie That matched the colour of his gin. An illusionist known as Vince |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 11 2013, 10:07 AM Post #1283 |
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An illusionist known as Vince Was partial to brown-sugared quince |
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| Mobson | Sep 11 2013, 10:50 AM Post #1284 |
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An illusionist known as Vince Was partial to brown-sugared quince Delicious with cheese |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 11 2013, 11:08 AM Post #1285 |
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An illusionist known as Vince Was partial to brown-sugared quince Delicious with cheese And of lemon a squeeze |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 11 2013, 07:32 PM Post #1286 |
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An illusionist known as Vince Was partial to brown-sugared quince Delicious with cheese And of lemon a squeeze After which, he'd have savoury beef mince His vanishing trick was quite good |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 11 2013, 09:32 PM Post #1287 |
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His vanishing trick was quite good When he disappeared into the wood |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 12 2013, 03:49 PM Post #1288 |
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His vanishing trick was quite good When he disappeared into the wood With policemen and hound |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 12 2013, 06:46 PM Post #1289 |
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His vanishing trick was quite good When he disappeared into the wood With policemen and hound Fine-combing the ground |
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| Mobson | Sep 13 2013, 11:16 AM Post #1290 |
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His vanishing trick was quite good When he disappeared into the wood With policemen and hound Fine-combing the ground At camouflage he's really very good **************************** The longest he hid was three months Edited by Mobson, Sep 13 2013, 11:21 AM.
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| tafkaj | Sep 13 2013, 11:39 AM Post #1291 |
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The longest he hid was three months, But still he couldn't find a rhyme
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 13 2013, 12:03 PM Post #1292 |
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The longest he hid was three months But he only ever did that just once (not quite a rhyme but about as close as it gets)
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| Mobson | Sep 15 2013, 12:04 AM Post #1293 |
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The longest he hid was three months But he only ever did that just once Cos he got so dehydrated |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 15 2013, 12:52 PM Post #1294 |
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The longest he hid was three months But he only ever did that just once Cos he got so dehydrated When inebriated |
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| Mobson | Sep 16 2013, 11:18 AM Post #1295 |
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The longest he hid was three months But he only ever did that just once Cos he got so dehydrated When inebriated Made him feel like a silly old ponce not one of our best
Edited by Mobson, Sep 16 2013, 11:19 AM.
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| Mobson | Sep 16 2013, 11:20 AM Post #1296 |
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Who would you give your last Rolo? |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 16 2013, 03:39 PM Post #1297 |
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Who would you give your last Rolo? The bloke with whom I play polo |
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| tafkaj | Sep 17 2013, 01:12 PM Post #1298 |
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Who would you give your last Rolo? The bloke with whom I play polo, 'Cos he'd play out each chukker |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 17 2013, 03:28 PM Post #1299 |
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Who would you give your last Rolo? The bloke with whom I play polo, 'Cos he'd play out each chukker And he's also my mucker |
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| tafkaj | Sep 21 2013, 11:34 AM Post #1300 |
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Who would you give your last Rolo? The bloke with whom I play polo, 'Cos he'd play out each chukker And he's also my mucker And goes by the name of Han Solo. ********************************* Although it gets cold in the Arctic |
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not one of our best

7:07 AM Jul 13