| Limericks | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,837 Views) | |
| caissier | Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467 Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011 There was an old hero called Ajax who certainly lived life to the max His fighting was mythic His muscles terrythic From the years he'd spent building haystacks. Now they're gunning for poor old Brock Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 21 2013, 01:46 PM Post #1301 |
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Although it gets cold in the Arctic The ambience is fairly cathartic |
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| Mobson | Sep 21 2013, 01:47 PM Post #1302 |
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Although it gets cold in the Arctic The ambience is fairly cathartic Tho' frostbite's a worry Edited by Mobson, Sep 21 2013, 01:47 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 21 2013, 04:35 PM Post #1303 |
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Although it gets cold in the Arctic There's a chance that you'll need a cathartic |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 22 2013, 02:30 AM Post #1304 |
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Although it gets cold in the Arctic The ambience is fairly cathartic Tho' frostbite's a worry When you eat a McFlurry |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 22 2013, 10:31 AM Post #1305 |
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Although it gets cold in the Arctic The ambience is fairly cathartic Tho' frostbite's a worry When you eat a McFlurry You can do things that are anarchic It's so much better at the Equator |
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| Mobson | Sep 22 2013, 12:53 PM Post #1306 |
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"It's so much better at the Equator" Recounted my mater and pater |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 25 2013, 01:38 PM Post #1307 |
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"It's so much better at the Equator" Recounted my mater and pater It's warm, for a start |
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| Mobson | Sep 28 2013, 08:24 AM Post #1308 |
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"It's so much better at the Equator" Recounted my mater and pater It's warm, for a start So good for the heart |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 28 2013, 10:01 AM Post #1309 |
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"It's so much better at the Equator" Recounted my mater and pater It's warm, for a start So good for the heart "I'll see you later, alligator" There was once a lonely crocodile |
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| Mobson | Sep 28 2013, 11:31 AM Post #1310 |
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There was once a lonely crocodile The last survivor of the Nile |
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| tafkaj | Sep 28 2013, 11:55 AM Post #1311 |
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There was once a lonely crocodile The last survivor of the Nile, Because global warming |
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| Mobson | Sep 28 2013, 03:26 PM Post #1312 |
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There was once a lonely crocodile The last survivor of the Nile, Because global warming With no sign of reforming |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 28 2013, 04:21 PM Post #1313 |
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There was once a lonely crocodile The last survivor of the Nile, Because global warming With no sign of reforming Is what gave him that beguiling smile A full figured female from Bury |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 29 2013, 10:00 AM Post #1314 |
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A full figured female from Bury Who never did nowt in a hurry...(local accent) |
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| Mobson | Sep 29 2013, 03:46 PM Post #1315 |
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A full figured female from Bury Who never did nowt in a hurry Did a Charity run |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 29 2013, 04:38 PM Post #1316 |
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A full figured female from Bury Who never did nowt in a hurry Did a Charity run For a bit of fun |
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| dai Cottomy | Sep 29 2013, 05:15 PM Post #1317 |
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A full figured female from Bury Who never did nowt in a hurry Did a Charity run For a bit of fun Then sat down to a very hot curry I wonder why all pussy cats purr |
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| Mobson | Sep 29 2013, 09:57 PM Post #1318 |
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I wonder why all pussy cats purr And meow and look so demur |
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| Norm Deplume | Sep 30 2013, 06:45 PM Post #1319 |
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I wonder why all pussy cats purr And meow and look so demur Is it contempt for all humans? |
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| waiting4atickle | Sep 30 2013, 07:47 PM Post #1320 |
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I wonder why all pussy cats purr And meow and look so demur Is it contempt for all humans? Or the way that this limerick scans? |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 1 2013, 01:30 PM Post #1321 |
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I wonder why all pussy cats purr And meow and look so demur Is it contempt for all humans? Or the way that this limerick scans? So I'll try and avoid flying fur I once owned a tame cockatoo |
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| Mobson | Oct 1 2013, 07:34 PM Post #1322 |
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I once owned a tame cockatoo Who'd one eye yellow, one blue |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 2 2013, 01:37 PM Post #1323 |
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I once owned a tame cockatoo Who'd one eye yellow, one blue It talked with a lisp |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 2 2013, 03:18 PM Post #1324 |
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I once owned a tame cockatoo Who'd one eye yellow, one blue It talked with a lisp And ate the odd crisp |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 2 2013, 08:32 PM Post #1325 |
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once owned a tame cockatoo Who'd one eye yellow, one blue It talked with a lisp And ate the odd crisp Laid an egg and yelled "COCKADOODLE DOO"! A three-legged man in North Devon |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 3 2013, 12:20 AM Post #1326 |
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A three-legged man in North Devon Had toes numb'ring more than eleven |
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| Mobson | Oct 3 2013, 03:15 PM Post #1327 |
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A three-legged man in North Devon Had toes numb'ring more than eleven Yet thumbs he had none Edited by Mobson, Oct 3 2013, 03:16 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 3 2013, 06:28 PM Post #1328 |
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A three-legged man in North Devon Had toes numb'ring more than eleven Yet thumbs he had none Well, perhaps just the one |
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| Mobson | Oct 3 2013, 06:51 PM Post #1329 |
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A three-legged man in North Devon Had toes numb'ring more than eleven Yet thumbs he had none Well, perhaps just the one And fingers numb'ring less than seven .................since we're into the grotesque .................. A two-headed woman from Kentucky Edited by Mobson, Oct 3 2013, 06:51 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 3 2013, 06:58 PM Post #1330 |
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A two-headed woman from Kentucky Was thought, by her friends, to be lucky |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 3 2013, 10:20 PM Post #1331 |
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A two-headed woman from Kentucky Was thought, by her friends, to be lucky But, caught in two minds |
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| tafkaj | Oct 5 2013, 11:44 AM Post #1332 |
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A two-headed woman from Kentucky Was thought, by her friends, to be lucky But, caught in two minds, With matching behinds, |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 5 2013, 02:00 PM Post #1333 |
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A two-headed woman from Kentucky Was thought, by her friends, to be lucky But, caught in two minds, With matching behinds, Now! Now! Don't let's start getting mucky. It was time for the start of the dig |
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| Mobson | Oct 8 2013, 10:13 AM Post #1334 |
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It was time for the start of the dig Looking for sus scrofa or ancient pig |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 8 2013, 10:45 AM Post #1335 |
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It was time for the start of the dig Looking for sus scrofa or ancient pig With paint brush and hoe |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 8 2013, 12:13 PM Post #1336 |
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It was time for the start of the dig Looking for sus scrofa or ancient pig With paint brush and hoe We go with the flow |
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| tafkaj | Oct 8 2013, 02:19 PM Post #1337 |
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It was time for the start of the dig Looking for sus scrofa or ancient pig With paint brush and hoe We go with the flow And lunch at the Truffle & Wig. **************************************** "See how they run," says the song |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 9 2013, 10:13 AM Post #1338 |
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"See how they run," says the song But Lady Madonna was long gone |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 9 2013, 10:46 AM Post #1339 |
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"See how they run," says the song But Lady Madonna was long gone Couldn't pay the rent |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 9 2013, 12:30 PM Post #1340 |
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"See how they run," says the song But Lady Madonna was long gone Couldn't pay the rent (Not to mention, she's bent) |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 9 2013, 01:48 PM Post #1341 |
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"See how they run," says the song But Lady Madonna was long gone Couldn't pay the rent (Not to mention, she's bent) She moved in with her boyfriend, King Kong There on the top of the Empire State |
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| Mobson | Oct 9 2013, 02:22 PM Post #1342 |
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There on the top of the Empire State King Kong was holding his mate |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 9 2013, 03:17 PM Post #1343 |
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There on the top of the Empire State King Kong was holding his mate One hand holding the tower |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 12 2013, 01:21 PM Post #1344 |
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There on the top of the Empire State King Kong was holding his mate One hand holding the tower Holding on with such power |
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| Mobson | Oct 14 2013, 08:52 AM Post #1345 |
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There on the top of the Empire State King Kong was holding his mate One hand holding the tower Holding on with such power Completely unaware of his fate |
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| Mobson | Oct 14 2013, 08:53 AM Post #1346 |
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The weather is dark and fright'ning |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 14 2013, 11:09 AM Post #1347 |
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The weather is dark and fright'ning A |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 14 2013, 11:11 AM Post #1348 |
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The weather is dark and fright'ning A precursor of thunder and lightning |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 14 2013, 06:09 PM Post #1349 |
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The weather is dark and fright'ning A precursor of thunder and lightning But be of good cheer |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 14 2013, 06:16 PM Post #1350 |
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The weather is dark and fright'ning A precursor of thunder and lightning But be of good cheer Let's break-out the beer |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 14 2013, 06:52 PM Post #1351 |
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The weather is dark and fright'ning A precursor of thunder and lightning But be of good cheer Let's break-out the beer 'Fore you know it, things will be bright'ning. I lost it a long time ago |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 14 2013, 10:00 PM Post #1352 |
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I lost it a long time ago My virginity if you must know ------------------ ------------------ --------------------------- |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 14 2013, 10:53 PM Post #1353 |
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I lost it a long time ago My virginity if you must know I remember the night We don't need the dashes in this one, dai - they're used for the Any Line is Available thread (if people remember). |
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| Mobson | Oct 15 2013, 02:14 PM Post #1354 |
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"People"..don't you mean NORM, TAF, DAI AND ME!...not forgetting Caro but she's on a European tour!
Edited by Mobson, Oct 15 2013, 02:15 PM.
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| tafkaj | Oct 15 2013, 02:14 PM Post #1355 |
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["See how they run," says the song But Lady Madonna was long gone ... I was thinking of Three Blind Mice! ]*********************************** I lost it a long time ago My virginity if you must know I remember the night When I went from pure white |
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| Mobson | Oct 15 2013, 02:17 PM Post #1356 |
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I lost it a long time ago My virginity if you must know I remember the night When I went from pure white to as black as the well trodden snow |
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| Mobson | Oct 15 2013, 02:18 PM Post #1357 |
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Those days they do seem like a dream |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 15 2013, 11:34 PM Post #1358 |
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Those days they do seem like a dream When I followed a winning team |
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| Mobson | Oct 16 2013, 09:44 AM Post #1359 |
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Those days they do seem like a dream When I followed a winning team Oh what gay days |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 16 2013, 12:49 PM Post #1360 |
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Those days they do seem like a dream When I followed a winning team Oh what gay days (If you'll pardon the phrase) |
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| tafkaj | Oct 19 2013, 12:30 PM Post #1361 |
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Those days they do seem like a dream When I followed a winning team Oh what gay days (If you'll pardon the phrase) - I've thought of a new meaning for "cream"! ****************************** And now it is time to go home |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 19 2013, 12:44 PM Post #1362 |
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And now it is time to go home I've decided no more shall I roam |
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 19 2013, 04:21 PM Post #1363 |
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And now it is time to go home I've decided no more shall I roam And be a go-getter |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 19 2013, 05:34 PM Post #1364 |
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And now it is time to go home I've decided no more shall I roam And be a go-getter Staying put's better |
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| tafkaj | Oct 22 2013, 02:29 PM Post #1365 |
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And now it is time to go home I've decided no more shall I roam And be a go-getter Staying put's better - I'll protect myself with styrofoam. ******************************* I drove my new car int'a wall |
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| Mobson | Oct 22 2013, 03:36 PM Post #1366 |
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I drove my new car int'a wall Trying to avoid a kid's ball |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 22 2013, 03:57 PM Post #1367 |
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I drove my new car int'a wall Trying to avoid a kid's ball The kid mocked my driving Edited by Norm Deplume, Oct 26 2013, 10:59 AM.
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| tafkaj | Oct 26 2013, 11:24 AM Post #1368 |
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I drove my new car int'a wall Trying to avoid a kid's ball; The kid mocked my driving - Youth sarcasm's thriving - |
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| Mobson | Oct 29 2013, 10:31 AM Post #1369 |
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I drove my new car int'a wall Trying to avoid a kid's ball; The kid mocked my driving Youth sarcasm's thriving ... ... ...yay! good line Not now, 'fraid he's had a bad fall! Edited by Mobson, Oct 29 2013, 10:31 AM.
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| Mobson | Oct 29 2013, 10:32 AM Post #1370 |
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The kid pushed me 'over the edge'..
Edited by Mobson, Oct 29 2013, 10:35 AM.
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| waiting4atickle | Oct 29 2013, 12:00 PM Post #1371 |
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The kid pushed me 'over the edge'.. I took out my old pitching wedge |
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| tafkaj | Oct 29 2013, 02:49 PM Post #1372 |
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The kid pushed me 'over the edge'.. I took out my old pitching wedge And took off the cover |
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| Mobson | Oct 29 2013, 06:06 PM Post #1373 |
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The kid pushed me 'over the edge'.. I took out my old pitching wedge And took off the cover O'er his head it did hover |
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| dai Cottomy | Oct 29 2013, 06:08 PM Post #1374 |
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The kid pushed me 'over the edge'.. I took out my old pitching wedge And took off the cover He yelled for his muvva |
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| Norm Deplume | Oct 31 2013, 12:44 PM Post #1375 |
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The kid pushed me 'over the edge'.. I took out my old pitching wedge And took off the cover He yelled for his muvva Ran home, jumping over his hedge It's a good thing I'm not fond of pears |
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| Mobson | Nov 1 2013, 11:31 AM Post #1376 |
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It's a good thing I'm not fond of pears or any fruit that is covered in hairs |
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| dai Cottomy | Nov 1 2013, 06:35 PM Post #1377 |
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It's a good thing I'm not fond of pears or any fruit that is covered in hairs I like a nice plum |
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| tafkaj | Nov 2 2013, 01:41 PM Post #1378 |
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It's a good thing I'm not fond of pears Or any fruit that is covered in hairs I like a nice plum With brandy or rum |
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| Mobson | Nov 4 2013, 11:27 PM Post #1379 |
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It's a good thing I'm not fond of pears Or any fruit that is covered in hairs I like a nice plum With brandy or rum Not too much or I'll n'er get upstairs Edited by Mobson, Nov 4 2013, 11:27 PM.
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| Mobson | Nov 4 2013, 11:30 PM Post #1380 |
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Tomorrow belongs to dear old Guy
Edited by Mobson, Nov 4 2013, 11:35 PM.
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| tafkaj | Nov 5 2013, 02:50 PM Post #1381 |
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Tomorrow belongs to dear old Guy - Today, you mean ... What the ... ? (*Sigh*) |
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| Norm Deplume | Nov 5 2013, 05:34 PM Post #1382 |
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Tomorrow belongs to dear old Guy - Today, you mean ... What the ... ? (*Sigh*) I hope it doesn't rain |
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| dai Cottomy | Nov 6 2013, 01:03 PM Post #1383 |
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Tomorrow belongs to dear old Guy - Today, you mean ... What the ... ? (*Sigh*) I hope it doesn't rain (Got it wrong again) |
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| Mobson | Nov 7 2013, 11:11 AM Post #1384 |
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Tomorrow belongs to dear old Guy - Today, you mean ... What the ... ? (*Sigh*) I hope it doesn't rain (Got it wrong again) Well it's over now so live and let die |
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| Mobson | Nov 7 2013, 11:12 AM Post #1385 |
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As Fanny was poaching her haddock |
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| Norm Deplume | Nov 7 2013, 12:35 PM Post #1386 |
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As Fanny was poaching her haddock Johnny stayed out in the paddock |
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| dai Cottomy | Nov 7 2013, 12:47 PM Post #1387 |
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As Fanny was poaching her haddock Johnny stayed out in the paddock Downed a large whisky |
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| Norm Deplume | Nov 7 2013, 05:20 PM Post #1388 |
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As Fanny was poaching her haddock Johnny stayed out in the paddock Downed a large whisky Started to feel frisky |
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| tafkaj | Nov 9 2013, 01:22 PM Post #1389 |
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As Fanny was poaching her haddock Johnny stayed out in the paddock Downed a large whisky Started to feel frisky - His response can best be called ad hoc. *********************************************** And, talking of cooks, Mary Berry Edited by tafkaj, Nov 12 2013, 03:16 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Nov 9 2013, 03:47 PM Post #1390 |
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And, talking of cooks, Mary Berry Was carefully peeling her cherry |
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| Mobson | Nov 11 2013, 10:08 AM Post #1391 |
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hey! what's a 'repsonse' - another word I've never heard of And, talking of cooks, Mary Berry Was carefully peeling her cherry A difficult task Edited by Mobson, Nov 11 2013, 10:09 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Nov 11 2013, 12:10 PM Post #1392 |
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And, talking of cooks, Mary Berry Was carefully peeling her cherry A difficult task Involving a mask |
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| Norm Deplume | Nov 11 2013, 02:10 PM Post #1393 |
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And, talking of cooks, Mary Berry Was carefully peeling her cherry A difficult task Involving a mask On the deck of a cross channel ferry The ferry had sailed out of Dover |
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| Mobson | Nov 11 2013, 02:37 PM Post #1394 |
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The ferry had sailed out of Dover After having a much needed makeover Edited by Mobson, Nov 11 2013, 02:39 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Nov 11 2013, 02:45 PM Post #1395 |
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The ferry had sailed out of Dover After having a much needed makeover But half way across |
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| Mobson | Nov 11 2013, 05:15 PM Post #1396 |
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..
Edited by Mobson, Nov 12 2013, 10:58 PM.
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| Mobson | Nov 11 2013, 05:16 PM Post #1397 |
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The ferry had sailed out of Dover After having a much needed makeover But half way across Huge waves they did toss Edited by Mobson, Nov 11 2013, 05:16 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Nov 12 2013, 12:42 PM Post #1398 |
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The ferry had sailed out of Dover After having a much needed makeover But half way across Huge waves they did toss Retuned to dock. No more the Sea Rover. The team travelled up hill and down dale Edited by Norm Deplume, Nov 12 2013, 12:43 PM.
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| tafkaj | Nov 12 2013, 03:18 PM Post #1399 |
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[You should get that dislexia seen to, Mobs ... ]The team travelled up hill and down dale To find an old yacht they could sail |
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| Norm Deplume | Nov 13 2013, 05:49 PM Post #1400 |
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The team travelled up hill and down dale To find an old yacht they could sail Went from Brighton to Hull |
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