Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Add Reply
Limericks
Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,835 Views)
caissier
Member Avatar
Administrator
waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Replies:
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A dancer from downtown Detroit
Saw a chance that she had to exploit
With a swift soft-shoe-shuffle
Which caused quite a kerfuffle
When they saw how she was so adroit

Her physical prowess was daunting






Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

A dancer from downtown Detroit
Saw a chance that she had to exploit
With a swift soft-shoe-shuffle
Which caused quite a kerfuffle
She tripped and got quite maladroit


A hot beef and horseradish sandwich
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A dancer from downtown Detroit
Saw a chance that she had to exploit
With a swift soft-shoe-shuffle
Which caused quite a kerfuffle
She danced with the aid of a quoit
Edited by Mobson, Dec 19 2013, 12:25 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Marco the cat was a Burmilla
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
chocster

Marco the cat was a Burmilla
A stowaway escaping from Manila
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Wrong page syndrome seems to have reached epidemic proportions.

Her physical prowess was daunting
Her physique she was always flaunting

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Her physical prowess was daunting
Her physique she was always flaunting
The sight of her arm
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Her physical prowess was daunting
Her physique she was always flaunting
The sight of her arm
Would cause much alarm

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

Her physical prowess was daunting
Her physique she was always flaunting
The sight of her arm
Would cause much alarm
It would stop a ghost in its haunting


Alarming as it now seems to be
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
chocster

Alarming as it now seems to be
My hair started greying at age three
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

Alarming as it now seems to be
My hair started greying at age three
But Junior Grecian
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Alarming as it now seems to be
My hair started greying at age three
But Junior Grecian
(Or was he Phoenician?)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Alarming as it now seems to be
My hair started greying at age three
But Junior Grecian
(Or was he Phoenician?)
Turned me back to black in a jiffy
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

I then started to age prematurely
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

I then started to age prematurely
Of course, very gently and demurely
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

I then started to age prematurely
Of course, very gently and demurely,
With a hint of a limp
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

I then started to age prematurely
Of course, very gently and demurely,
With a hint of a limp
And a blue Hillman Imp
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
chocster

I then started to age prematurely
Of course, very gently and demurely,
With a hint of a limp
And a blue Hillman Imp
With a boot full of the chocolate curly-wurly.

OMG, t'was my favourite chocolate bar
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

OMG, t'was my favourite chocolate bar
But made me sick while driving the car
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

OMG, t'was my favourite chocolate bar
But made me sick while driving the car
I'm going on a diet
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
chocster

OMG, t'was my favourite chocolate bar
But made me sick while driving the car
I'm going on a diet
Not gonna fry it
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

OMG, t'was my favourite chocolate bar
But made me sick while driving the car
I'm going on a diet
Not gonna fry it
This time I've really gone too far
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Fast approaching Twenty Thousand and Fourteen
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

Fast approaching Twenty Thousand and Fourteen -
Another year on, same Queen
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Fast approaching Twenty Thousand and Fourteen -
Another year on, same Queen
And same Status Quo

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Fast approaching Twenty Thousand and Fourteen -
Another year on, same Queen
And same Status Quo
Rocking to-and-fro
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Fast approaching Twenty Thousand and Fourteen
Another year on, same Queen
And same Status Quo
Rocking to-and-fro
Unsure where I'm going, but know where I've been
Edited by Mobson, Dec 31 2013, 03:04 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Deciding to make new resolutions
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Deciding to make new resolutions
They seldom offer solutions
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Deciding to make new resolutions
They seldom offer solutions
'Cos try as you may
Edited by Mobson, Jan 1 2014, 06:17 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
chocster


Deciding to make new resolutions
They seldom offer solutions
'Cos try as you may
This or that way
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

Deciding to make new resolutions
They seldom offer solutions
'Cos try as you may
This or that way
I don't have the right contributions


Another New Year has now dawned
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Another New Year has now dawned
It's going to be bad we've been warned

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Another New Year has now dawned
It's going to be bad we've been warned
We're deeper in debt
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

Another New Year has now dawned
It's going to be bad we've been warned
We're deeper in debt
But not too bad, as yet
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jan 1 2014, 08:52 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Another New Year has now dawned
It's going to be bad we've been warned
We're deeper in debt
But not too bad, as yet
Although most of the silver's been pawned.


An umbrella maker from Stroud

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

An umbrella maker from Stroud
Made his elderly mother so proud

Edited by Mobson, Jan 2 2014, 12:50 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

An umbrella maker from Stroud
Made his elderly mother so proud
The sales of his brolly
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


An umbrella maker from Stroud
Made his elderly mother so proud
The sales of his brolly
Brought in so much lolly

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

An umbrella maker from Stroud
Made his elderly mother so proud
The sales of his brolly
Brought in so much lolly
That he's now on number nine cloud


His brother made clothes from old rags
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

His brother made clothes from old rags
Riffled from the dead corpses of hags
Edited by Mobson, Jan 3 2014, 04:24 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

His brother made clothes from old rags
Riffled from the dead corpses of hags
He made blouses and shirts
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

His brother made clothes from old rags
Riffled from the dead corpses of hags
He made blouses and shirts
And trousers and skirts
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

His brother made clothes from old rags
Riffled from the dead corpses of hags
He made blouses and shirts
And trousers and skirts
Which he swapped for whisky and fags

His sister made shirts for our sailors
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

His sister made shirts for our sailors
But you'd hardly call them tailors
Edited by Mobson, Jan 4 2014, 05:56 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

His sister made shirts for our sailors
But you'd hardly call them tailors
The shirts had no tails
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

His sister made shirts for our sailors
But you'd hardly call them tailors
The shirts had no tails,
And, though made from sails,
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

His sister made shirts for our sailors
But you'd hardly call them tailors
The shirts had no tails,
And, though made from sails,
They wouldn't wear them on whalers



Their cousin made stockings for nurses
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
chocster

Their cousin made stockings for nurses
And tops and tails for drivers of hearses
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

Their cousin made stockings for nurses
And tops and tails for drivers of hearses,
But they drew the line
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

Their cousin made stockings for nurses
And tops and tails for drivers of hearses,
But they drew the line
To cut it fine
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

Their cousin made stockings for nurses
And tops and tails for drivers of hearses,
But they drew the line
To cut it fine
With the pencils they keep in their purses.

******************************************

I'm buying a new Gibson guitar
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

I'm buying a new Gibson guitar
To replace my multi-strung sitar
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

I'm buying a new Gibson guitar
To replace my multi-strung sitar
My old plectrum is broke
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

I'm buying a new Gibson guitar
To replace my multi-strung sitar
My old plectrum is broke
I need a new thing to stroke
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

I'm buying a new Gibson guitar
To replace my multi-strung sitar
My old plectrum is broke
I need a new thing to stroke
Try this...but don't go too far !




Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

A bumbling old gent from Caerphilly
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

A bumbling old gent from Caerphilly
Thought cheese names were generally silly
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

A bumbling old gent from Caerphilly
Thought cheese names were generally silly
Like Stilton and Gouda
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

A bumbling old gent from Caerphilly
Thought cheese names were generally silly;
Like Stilton and Gouda,
He thought that they shoulda
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A bumbling old gent from Caerphilly
Thought cheese names were generally silly;
Like Stilton and Gouda,
He thought that they shoulda
Had girls names like Freda or Lily

A gorgeous young wench from Glamorgan
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

A gorgeous young wench from Glamorgan
A sensation when playing the organ
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


A gorgeous young wench from Glamorgan
A sensation when playing the organ
Was shy and retiring

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

A gorgeous young wench from Glamorgan
A sensation when playing the organ
Was shy and retiring
When doing the ironing
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A gorgeous young wench from Glamorgan
A sensation when playing the organ
Was shy and retiring
When doing the ironing
She'd watch an episode of Borgen


Nobody twerks like our Iris




Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Nobody twerks like our Iris
She must have some sort of virus

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

Nobody twerks like our Iris,
She must have some sort of virus;
When she wears short skirts
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

Nobody twerks like our Iris,
She must have some sort of virus;
When she wears short skirts
She shows off in spurts
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Nobody twerks like our Iris,
She must have some sort of virus;
When she wears short skirts
She shows off in spurts
tho' still not a patch on Miley Cyrus.
Edited by Mobson, Jan 18 2014, 04:46 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Whilst trying to remember your name
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

Whilst trying to remember your name
I thought of one very much the same
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

Whilst trying to remember your name
I thought of one very much the same,
But it didn't quite cut it
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Whilst trying to remember your name
I thought of one very much the same,
But it didn't quite cut it
I tried again but it
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Whilst trying to remember your name
I thought of one very much the same
But it didn't quite cut it
I tried again but it
just wouldn't jump out of the frame...
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

Can't wait for these dark days to pass
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Can't wait for these dark days to pass
So I can get out and cut the grass
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

Can't wait for these dark days to pass
So I can get out and cut the grass
Trim the hedge, plant a tree
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Can't wait for these dark days to pass
So I can get out and cut the grass
Trim the hedge, plant a tree
Oh, what fun that will be!

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

Can't wait for these dark days to pass
So I can get out and cut the grass
Trim the hedge, plant a tree
Oh, what fun that will be!
All complete, take a rest, sit on arse



There are new buds on all of our trees
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There are new buds on all of our trees
Let's hope we get plenty of bees
Edited by dai Cottomy, Jan 19 2014, 06:13 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

There are new buds on all of our trees
Let's all hope we get plenty of bees
And lots of sun too
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There are new buds on all of our trees
Let's all hope we get plenty of bees
And lots of sun too
With plenty to do
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


There are new buds on all of our trees
Let's all hope we get plenty of bees
And lots of sun too
With plenty to do
So our brains and our bodies don't seize.


When it's dreich and you're at a loose end

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
chocster

When it's dreich and you're at a loose end
Do try and avoid going round the bend
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

When it's dreich and you're at a loose end
Do try and avoid going round the bend
Don't go all loopy
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

When it's dreich and you're at a loose end
Do try and avoid going round the bend
Don't go all loopy
And start shouting "Whoopee"
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

When it's dreich and you're at a loose end
Do try and avoid going round the bend
Don't go all loopy
And start shouting "Whoopee"
Strip off and take a bath with a friend


Once upon a time there were fairies
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

Once upon a time there were fairies
Who suffered v. badly with caries
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

Once upon a time there were fairies
Who suffered v. badly with caries
Their dentist was blind
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

Once upon a time there were fairies
Who suffered v. badly with caries
Their dentist was blind
So he couldn't find
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
tafkaj

Once upon a time there were fairies
Who suffered v. badly with caries
Their dentist was blind
So he couldn't find
The spot on his head where his hair is.

*****************************************

A relic from a different age
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

A relic from a different age
Was locked in a chain-linked-fence cage
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

A relic from a different age
Was locked in a chain-linked-fence cage
She created a stink
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
chocster

A relic from a different age
Was locked in a chain-linked-fence cage
She created a stink
Her poo was pink
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


A relic from a different age
Was locked in a chain-linked-fence cage
She created a stink
Her poo was pink
Now she's a star of screen and stage.


There was a young woman from Burma

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was a young woman from Burma
Whose antics caused many to murmur
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

There was a young woman from Burma
Whose antics caused many to murmur
To cool things down
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was a young woman from Burma
Whose antics caused many to murmur
To cool things down
She married a clown
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

There was a young woman from Burma
Whose antics caused many to murmur
To cool things down
She married a clown
Her control of him was much firmer.

She spanked him and whipped him most strongly
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Norm Deplume
Member Avatar

She spanked him and whipped him most strongly
Her S and M sessions were longly
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
ZetaBoards - Free Forum Hosting
Free Forums with no limits on posts or members.
Learn More · Register Now
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Mornington Crescent · Next Topic »
Add Reply