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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,834 Views) | |
| caissier | Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467 Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011 There was an old hero called Ajax who certainly lived life to the max His fighting was mythic His muscles terrythic From the years he'd spent building haystacks. Now they're gunning for poor old Brock Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 30 2014, 11:50 AM Post #1601 |
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She spanked him and whipped him most strongly Dressed up in a thing that was thongly He wriggled and screamed |
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| waiting4atickle | Jan 31 2014, 12:09 AM Post #1602 |
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She spanked him and whipped him most strongly Dressed up in a thing that was thongly He wriggled and screamed It was more than he'd dreamed |
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| Norm Deplume | Jan 31 2014, 12:49 PM Post #1603 |
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She spanked him and whipped him most strongly Dressed up in a thing that was thongly He wriggled and screamed It was more than he'd dreamed Until she struck where his dingly was dongly A young Nannie from smart Upper Cheam Edited by Norm Deplume, Feb 3 2014, 11:39 AM.
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 3 2014, 11:41 AM Post #1604 |
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A young Nannie from smart Upper Cheam Living out her most passionate dream |
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| tafkaj | Feb 3 2014, 11:59 AM Post #1605 |
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A young Nannie from smart Upper Cheam Living out her most passionate dream; She bought lots of butter |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 3 2014, 04:58 PM Post #1606 |
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A young Nannie from smart Upper Cheam Living out her most passionate dream; She bought lots of butter Was quietly heard to mutter |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 4 2014, 12:56 AM Post #1607 |
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A young Nannie from smart Upper Cheam Living out her most passionate dream; She bought lots of butter Was quietly heard to mutter "In Upper Cheam, no one can hear you scream" Two brawny lads from West Wickham |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 4 2014, 11:52 AM Post #1608 |
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Two brawny lads from West Wickham Were chased by a cop trying to Nickham |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 4 2014, 11:56 AM Post #1609 |
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Two brawny lads from West Wickham Were chased by a cop trying to Nickham Down Letsby Avenue |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 4 2014, 02:31 PM Post #1610 |
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Two brawny lads from West Wickham Were chased by a cop trying to Nickham Down Letsby Avenue To some other venue |
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| tafkaj | Feb 4 2014, 02:39 PM Post #1611 |
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Two brawny lads from West Wickham Were chased by a cop trying to Nickham Down Letsby Avenue To some other venue Where, once caught, they let them lick 'em. ****************************************** My God! It's the size of a house! |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 4 2014, 03:50 PM Post #1612 |
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"My God! It's the size of a house!" Said a flea when it caught sight of a mouse |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 6 2014, 04:23 PM Post #1613 |
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"My God! It's the size of a house!" Said a flea when it caught sight of a mouse But the mouse took fright |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 6 2014, 05:03 PM Post #1614 |
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"My God! It's the size of a house!" Said a flea when it caught sight of a mouse But the mouse took fright Of the flea in full flight |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 6 2014, 05:43 PM Post #1615 |
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"My God! It's the size of a house!" Said a flea when it caught sight of a mouse But the mouse took fright Of the flea in full flight And waltzed off to the music of Strauss I wish I could dance the Fandango |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 6 2014, 07:04 PM Post #1616 |
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I wish I could dance the Fandango Or the Argentinian Tango Edited by Norm Deplume, Feb 6 2014, 07:04 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 7 2014, 10:56 AM Post #1617 |
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I wish I could dance the Fandango Or the Argentinian Tango But I've two left feet |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 7 2014, 11:33 AM Post #1618 |
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I wish I could dance the Fandango Or the Argentinian Tango But I've two left feet Just like lumps of meat |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 7 2014, 04:32 PM Post #1619 |
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I wish I could dance the Fandango Or the Argentinian Tango But I've two left feet Just like lumps of meat And a nose that resembles a mango A portly greengrocer from Filey |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 8 2014, 01:56 AM Post #1620 |
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A portly greengrocer from Filey Who was living the life of Riley |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 8 2014, 12:35 PM Post #1621 |
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A portly greengrocer from Filey Who was living the life of Riley Drove off in his Rolls |
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| tafkaj | Feb 8 2014, 12:46 PM Post #1622 |
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A portly greengrocer from Filey Who was living the life of Riley Drove off in his Rolls Without paying the tolls |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 8 2014, 04:35 PM Post #1623 |
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A portly greengrocer from Filey Who was living the life of Riley Drove off in his Rolls Without paying the tolls And was not thought of very highly He was sighted in Stockton-on-Tees |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 8 2014, 08:35 PM Post #1624 |
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He was sighted in Stockton-on-Tees He said " good grief, I think I've got fleas!" |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 9 2014, 03:03 PM Post #1625 |
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He was sighted in Stockton-on-Tees He said " good grief, I think I've got fleas!" He stripped-off his shirt |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 10 2014, 03:08 AM Post #1626 |
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He was sighted in Stockton-on-Tees He said " good grief, I think I've got fleas!" He stripped-off his shirt And started to flirt |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 10 2014, 03:09 PM Post #1627 |
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He was sighted in Stockton-on-Tees He said " good grief, I think I've got fleas!" He stripped-off his shirt And started to flirt By going down on his hands and knees She responded by turning her back |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 10 2014, 09:54 PM Post #1628 |
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She responded by turning her back And letting her shoulders go slack |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 11 2014, 11:21 AM Post #1629 |
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She responded by turning her back And letting her shoulders go slack He thought "Hey! She's a goer" |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 11 2014, 11:46 AM Post #1630 |
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She responded by turning her back And letting her shoulders go slack He thought "Hey! She's a goer" But she's gone to Samoa |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 11 2014, 12:09 PM Post #1631 |
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She responded by turning her back And letting her shoulders go slack He thought "Hey! She's a goer" But she's gone to Samoa I know! Cos I helped her to pack A marathon runner from Keele |
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| tafkaj | Feb 11 2014, 03:32 PM Post #1632 |
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A marathon runner from Keele Cheated by using a wheel |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 12 2014, 12:26 AM Post #1633 |
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A marathon runner from Keele Cheated by using a wheel So although he came first |
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| Mobson | Feb 12 2014, 12:36 AM Post #1634 |
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A marathon runner from Keele Cheated by using a wheel So although he came first His bubble quickly burst Edited by Mobson, Feb 12 2014, 12:36 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 12 2014, 12:10 PM Post #1635 |
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A marathon runner from Keele Cheated by using a wheel So although he came first His bubble quickly burst And so he was soon brought to heel A banker who resided in Kent |
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| Mobson | Feb 12 2014, 12:16 PM Post #1636 |
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A banker who resided in Kent A death threat letter was sent |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 12 2014, 02:18 PM Post #1637 |
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A banker who resided in Kent A death threat letter was sent His bonus he gave |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 12 2014, 02:28 PM Post #1638 |
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A banker who resided in Kent A death threat letter was sent His bonus he gave To a thug, name of Dave |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 12 2014, 05:37 PM Post #1639 |
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A banker who resided in Kent A death threat letter was sent His bonus he gave To a thug, name of Dave Just to prove that he wasn't bent A farmer who suffered with gout |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 12 2014, 10:50 PM Post #1640 |
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A farmer who suffered with gout Insisted he could not go out |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 13 2014, 12:17 PM Post #1641 |
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A farmer who suffered with gout Insisted he could not go out When he heard his sheep bleat |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 13 2014, 02:13 PM Post #1642 |
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A farmer who suffered with gout Insisted he could not go out When he heard his sheep bleat He was very discreet |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 14 2014, 01:37 PM Post #1643 |
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A farmer who suffered with gout Insisted he could not go out When he heard his sheep bleat He was very discreet And gave it a pint of milk stout A burly policeman from Devon |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 14 2014, 04:25 PM Post #1644 |
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A burly policeman from Devon On the beat at a quarter past eleven Edited by Norm Deplume, Feb 16 2014, 01:59 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 16 2014, 05:17 PM Post #1645 |
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A burly policeman from Devon On the beat at a quarter past eleven Went to question a man |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 16 2014, 08:46 PM Post #1646 |
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A burly policeman from Devon On the beat at a quarter past eleven Went to question a man Driving a white van |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 17 2014, 07:15 PM Post #1647 |
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A burly policeman from Devon On the beat at a quarter past eleven Went to question a man Driving a white van A nineteen forty six "Austin seven" He stopped him for illegal parking |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 18 2014, 09:41 AM Post #1648 |
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He stopped him for illegal parking In a street with yellow line marking |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 18 2014, 08:55 PM Post #1649 |
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He stopped him for illegal parking In a street with yellow line marking The "stuff" in the van |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 19 2014, 10:47 PM Post #1650 |
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He stopped him for illegal parking In a street with yellow line marking The "stuff" in the van Came from Afghanistan |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 20 2014, 12:58 AM Post #1651 |
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He stopped him for illegal parking In a street with yellow line marking The "stuff" in the van Came from Afghanistan And he's off to sell it in Barking They tell me it does you no harm |
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| Caro | Feb 20 2014, 01:41 AM Post #1652 |
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They tell me it does you no harm To pickle your pork on a farm |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 20 2014, 12:56 PM Post #1653 |
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They tell me it does you no harm To pickle your pork on a farm In brine and fresh spice |
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| Caro | Feb 22 2014, 08:59 AM Post #1654 |
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They tell me it does you no harm To pickle your pork on a farm In brine and fresh spice To serve up with rice |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 22 2014, 11:02 AM Post #1655 |
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They tell me it does you no harm To pickle your pork on a farm In brine and fresh spice To serve up with rice One portion will add to your charm A young market gardener from Gissing |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 22 2014, 11:28 AM Post #1656 |
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A young market gardener from Gissing Owned a snake that would not stop hissing |
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| tafkaj | Feb 22 2014, 12:53 PM Post #1657 |
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A young market gardener from Gissing Owned a snake that would not stop hissing A puncture repair kit |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 22 2014, 06:29 PM Post #1658 |
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A young market gardener from Gissing Owned a snake that would not stop hissing A puncture repair kit Shut it up for a bit |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 23 2014, 04:44 PM Post #1659 |
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A young market gardener from Gissing Owned a snake that would not stop hissing A puncture repair kit Shut it up for a bit Which gave the young man time for kissing. Milford Haven, in Pembroke, South Wales |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 23 2014, 06:30 PM Post #1660 |
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Milford Haven, in Pembroke, South Wales Is the place to buy edible snails |
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| Caro | Feb 23 2014, 08:46 PM Post #1661 |
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Milford Haven, in Pembroke, South Wales Is the place to buy edible snails Add butter to taste |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 24 2014, 01:13 AM Post #1662 |
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Milford Haven, in Pembroke, South Wales Is the place to buy edible snails Add butter to taste There's minimal waste |
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| tafkaj | Feb 24 2014, 12:44 PM Post #1663 |
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Milford Haven, in Pembroke, South Wales Is the place to buy edible snails Add butter to taste There's minimal waste Cos the shells are scooped up by the whales. *********************************************** I know it's not proper, but, hey, |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 24 2014, 04:27 PM Post #1664 |
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I know it's not proper, but, hey, I just really must have my say |
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| tafkaj | Feb 25 2014, 02:47 PM Post #1665 |
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I know it's not proper, but, hey, I just really must have my say 'Bout the state of the trains |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 25 2014, 04:14 PM Post #1666 |
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I know it's not proper, but, hey, I just really must have my say 'Bout the state of the trains From London to Staines |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 25 2014, 04:44 PM Post #1667 |
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I know it's not proper, but, hey, I just really must have my say 'Bout the state of the trains From London to Staines And the planes from Heathrow to Bombay (yes I know it's Mumbai now) Apart from the strong smell of cooking |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 25 2014, 08:22 PM Post #1668 |
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Apart from the strong smell of cooking He was shabby and not too good looking |
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| Caro | Feb 25 2014, 09:40 PM Post #1669 |
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Apart from the strong smell of cooking He was shabby and not too good looking So he lived on his own |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 26 2014, 12:43 PM Post #1670 |
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Apart from the strong smell of cooking He was shabby and not too good looking So he lived on his own Where the lawn was not mown |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 27 2014, 09:33 AM Post #1671 |
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Apart from the strong smell of cooking He was shabby and not too good looking So he lived on his own Where the lawn was not mown And a carer needed booking A retired barber from Kerry |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 27 2014, 10:34 AM Post #1672 |
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A retired barber from Kerry Was on board the Mersey Ferry Edited by Norm Deplume, Feb 27 2014, 10:35 AM.
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| tafkaj | Feb 28 2014, 12:38 PM Post #1673 |
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A retired barber from Kerry Was on board the Mersey Ferry With Macca and John |
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| Norm Deplume | Feb 28 2014, 05:00 PM Post #1674 |
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A retired barber from Kerry Was on board the Mersey Ferry With Macca and John Then Ringo got on |
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| tafkaj | Mar 1 2014, 12:29 PM Post #1675 |
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A retired barber from Kerry Was on board the Mersey Ferry With Macca and John Then Ringo got on But George had run off with Chuck Berry. ****************************************** "Pardon my French," said the dame |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 3 2014, 12:37 PM Post #1676 |
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"Pardon my French," said the dame "Holy Cow! We are wearing the same" |
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| Caro | Mar 3 2014, 11:04 PM Post #1677 |
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"Pardon my French," said the dame "Holy Cow! We are wearing the same." "Mon dieu. It is so." |
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| tafkaj | Mar 4 2014, 02:15 PM Post #1678 |
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"Pardon my French," said the dame "Holy Cow! We are wearing the same." "Mon dieu. It is so." "Mein Gott! I must go!" |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 4 2014, 03:51 PM Post #1679 |
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"Pardon my French," said the dame "Holy Cow! We are wearing the same." "Mon dieu. It is so." "Mein Gott! I must go!" I'll bet their all sorry they came The redheaded girl on the bus |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 4 2014, 03:52 PM Post #1680 |
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"Pardon my French," said the dame "Holy Cow! We are wearing the same." "Mon dieu. It is so." "Mein Gott! I must go!" To which I replied "Je vous aime" A bearded young man from Karachi |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 4 2014, 03:57 PM Post #1681 |
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We'll go with yours dai. A bearded young man from Karachi And a Hungarian cop name of Karszy |
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| Caro | Mar 6 2014, 09:09 PM Post #1682 |
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A bearded young man from Karachi And a Hungarian cop name of Karszy, Met Rouge on the bus |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 6 2014, 11:51 PM Post #1683 |
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A bearded young man from Karachi And a Hungarian cop name of Karszy, Met Rouge on the bus Without any fuss |
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| tafkaj | Mar 8 2014, 01:30 PM Post #1684 |
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A bearded young man from Karachi And a Hungarian cop name of Karszy, Met Rouge on the bus Without any fuss, Though his manner was overly starchy. ************************************ "It's going to explode!" |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 8 2014, 04:33 PM Post #1685 |
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"It's going to explode!" Not a particularly good first line for a Limerick, Taf! Edited by Norm Deplume, Mar 8 2014, 04:34 PM.
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 8 2014, 09:19 PM Post #1686 |
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Taf, I'll try a new start line and perhaps we can work your line into the theme The crash occurred at the Crossroad |
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| tafkaj | Mar 11 2014, 02:44 PM Post #1687 |
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[Hmm - I must have cut'n'pasted the wrong line ... Sorry.] The crash occurred at the Crossroad, 'Twixt Ratty and old Mr Toad |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 11 2014, 07:09 PM Post #1688 |
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The crash occurred at the Crossroad, 'Twixt Ratty and old Mr Toad They both blamed each other |
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| Mobson | Mar 12 2014, 10:09 AM Post #1689 |
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The crash occurred at the Crossroad, 'Twixt Ratty and old Mr Toad They both blamed each other and Toad blamed his mother |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 12 2014, 01:45 PM Post #1690 |
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The crash occurred at the Crossroad, 'Twixt Ratty and old Mr Toad They both blamed each other and Toad blamed his mother For not teaching the Highway Code. The first time ever I saw your face |
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| Mobson | Mar 13 2014, 09:00 AM Post #1691 |
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The first time ever I saw your face I just knew you were called Grace |
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| waiting4atickle | Mar 14 2014, 12:44 AM Post #1692 |
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The first time ever I saw your face I just knew that you were called Grace One, Two or Three |
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| Norm Deplume | Mar 14 2014, 11:38 AM Post #1693 |
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The first time ever I saw your face I just knew that you were called Grace One, Two or Three Don't know, you tell me |
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| tafkaj | Mar 15 2014, 01:17 PM Post #1694 |
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The first time ever I saw your face I just knew that you were called Grace One, Two or Three - Don't know, you tell me - Oh no! Not again with the mace!! ****************************************** I tell you, I've never seen Jaws Edited by tafkaj, Mar 15 2014, 01:18 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 15 2014, 04:01 PM Post #1695 |
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I tell you, I've never seen Jaws Is that a fact? You are a lost cause |
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| Mobson | Mar 17 2014, 07:01 AM Post #1696 |
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I tell you, I've never seen Jaws Is that a fact? You are a lost cause You're behind by four Edited by Mobson, Mar 17 2014, 07:01 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 17 2014, 09:15 AM Post #1697 |
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I tell you, I've never seen Jaws Is that a fact? You are a lost cause You're behind by four And possibly more |
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| Mobson | Mar 17 2014, 11:42 AM Post #1698 |
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I tell you, I've never seen Jaws Is that a fact? You are a lost cause You're behind by four And possibly more The original's best, the rest have serious flaws... Edited by Mobson, Mar 17 2014, 11:44 AM.
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| Mobson | Mar 17 2014, 11:49 AM Post #1699 |
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The last of two fat ladies has died |
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| tafkaj | Mar 17 2014, 12:35 PM Post #1700 |
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The last of two fat ladies has died And the mourning is now nationwide |
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7:07 AM Jul 13