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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,832 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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Jupiter, high in the sky,
Saw Juno flying nearby
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Norm Deplume
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Jupiter, high in the sky,
Saw Juno flying nearby
On a wing and a prayer
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waiting4atickle
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Jupiter, high in the sky,
Saw Juno flying nearby
On a wing and a prayer
They were both in despair

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Norm Deplume
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Jupiter, high in the sky,
Saw Juno flying nearby
On a wing and a prayer
They were both in despair
So they settled for deep-crust beef pie


The beef, from the island of Crete
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waiting4atickle
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The beef, from the island of Crete
Is as tough as the boots on your feet

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Norm Deplume
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The beef, from the island of Crete
Is as tough as the boots on your feet
You can freeze it and hang it
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waiting4atickle
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The beef, from the island of Crete
Is as tough as the boots on your feet
You can freeze it and hang it
And squeeze it and whang it

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dai Cottomy
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The beef, from the island of Crete
Is as tough as the boots on your feet
You can freeze it and hang it
And squeeze it and whang it
Do almost anything except eat

They do a rather nice dish with squid

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Norm Deplume
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They do a rather nice dish with squid
Fine aromas when Chef lifts the lid
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tafkaj

They do a rather nice dish with squid
Fine aromas when Chef lifts the lid
But take out the bay
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dai Cottomy
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They do a rather nice dish with squid
Fine aromas when Chef lifts the lid
But take out the bay
And substitute hay
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tafkaj

They do a rather nice dish with squid
Fine aromas when Chef lifts the lid
But take out the bay
And substitute hay -
You'll regret that ever you did!

****************************************

"By George!" he cried, "Here comes the sun!"
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Mobson
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"By George!" he cried, "Here comes the sun!"
Expecting all in earshot to run
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tafkaj

"By George!" he cried, "Here comes the sun!"
Expecting all in earshot to run;
But all shed their clothes
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Mobson
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"By George!" he cried, "Here comes the sun!"
Expecting all in earshot to run;
But all shed their clothes
for what purpose, who knows
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waiting4atickle
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"By George!" he cried, "Here comes the sun!"
Expecting all in earshot to run;
But all shed their clothes
for what purpose, who knows
Tho' they seemed to be having great fun.


A stripper from Henley-on-Thames

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dai Cottomy
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A stripper from Henley-on-Thames
Liked to wear garments without any hems
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Norm Deplume
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A stripper from Henley-on-Thames
Liked to wear garments without any hems
Her black thong hung limp
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Mobson
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A stripper from Henley-on-Thames
Liked to wear garments without any hems
Her black thong hung limp
With no material to crimp
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dai Cottomy
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A stripper from Henley-on-Thames
Liked to wear garments without any hems
Her black thong hung limp
With no material to crimp
But her knickers were festooned with gems


She was out one dark night with the lads
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Mobson
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She was out one dark night with the lads
Naked under her coat, another of her fads
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tafkaj

She was out one dark night with the lads
Naked under her coat, another of her fads;
But, being short of cash,
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Norm Deplume
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She was out one dark night with the lads
Naked under her coat, another of her fads;
But, being short of cash,
She gave them a flash
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dai Cottomy
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She was out one dark night with the lads
Naked under her coat, another of her fads;
But, being short of cash,
She gave them a flash
With a torch which was one of her dad's


They gasped with surprise at the sight
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Mobson
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They gasped with surprise at the sight
Bringing doubt on the fact that 'She' might
Edited by Mobson, Apr 29 2014, 09:25 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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They gasped with surprise at the sight
Bringing doubt on the fact that 'She' might
From the cut of her jib

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dai Cottomy
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They gasped with surprise at the sight
Bringing doubt on the fact that 'She' might
From the cut of her jib
Never tell a fib
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Norm Deplume
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They gasped with surprise at the sight
Bringing doubt on the fact that 'She' might
From the cut of her jib
Never tell a fib
Never mind if your sober or tight


I drove with a friend down to Brighton
It was not my intention to frighten
Edited by Norm Deplume, May 2 2014, 02:38 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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I drove with a friend down to Brighton
It was not my intention to frighten
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dai Cottomy
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I drove with a friend down to Brighton
It was not my intention to frighten
When we reached the pier
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waiting4atickle
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I drove with a friend down to Brighton
It was not my intention to frighten
When we reached the pier
I felt a bit queer

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Caro

I drove with a friend down to Brighton
It was not my intention to frighten
When we reached the pier
I felt a bit queer
A feeling the rough sea did heighten.


At Blackpool the walzers were sweet
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tafkaj

At Blackpool the waltzers were sweet
As they danced to the Straussian beat
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dai Cottomy
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At Blackpool the waltzers were sweet
As they danced to the Straussian beat
I munched fish 'n chips
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Norm Deplume
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At Blackpool the waltzers were sweet
As they danced to the Straussian beat
I munched fish 'n chips
And read newspaper clips
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Mobson
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At Blackpool the waltzers were sweet
As they danced to the Straussian beat
I munched fish 'n chips
And read newspaper clips
Hoping our dear Becky to meet


**************************


At Margate the skies were like Turner's
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dai Cottomy
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At Margate the skies were like Turner's
Like millions of Bunsen burners
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Mobson
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At Margate the skies were like Turner's
Like millions of Bunsen burners
Scorching all ships at sea

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Norm Deplume
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At Margate the skies were like Turner's
Like millions of Bunsen burners
Scorching all ships at sea
And boats on the quay
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Norm Deplume
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At Margate the skies were like Turner's
Like millions of Bunsen burners
Scorching all ships at sea
And boats on the quay
While the Skippers were teaching the learners.



In Summer, I get that 'old feeling'
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Norm Deplume
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In Summer, I get that 'old feeling'
That sets the my hormones a'reeling
Edited by Norm Deplume, May 8 2014, 01:56 PM.
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Mobson
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In Summer, I get that 'old feeling'
That sets my hormones a'reeling
So I seek out my shorts
Edited by Mobson, May 8 2014, 09:37 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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In Summer, I get that 'old feeling'
That sets my hormones a'reeling
So I seek out my shorts
And get out on the courts
Mixed doubles? Now that seems appealing

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Mobson
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In Summer, I get that 'old feeling'
That sets my hormones a'reeling
So I seek out my shorts
And get out on the courts
Mixed doubles? Now that seems appealing ;)

****************************

But who will come partner me?
Edited by Mobson, May 9 2014, 06:31 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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But who will come partner me
On a trip to the Isle of Capri?
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Norm Deplume
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But who will come partner me
On a trip to the Isle of Capri?
We will dine 'Da Tonino'
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dai Cottomy
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But who will come partner me
On a trip to the Isle of Capri?
We will dine 'Da Tonino'
And drink lots of vino
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Norm Deplume
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But who will come partner me
On a trip to the Isle of Capri?
We will dine 'Da Tonino'
And drink lots of vino
Then we'll make love...you and me


On Capri there's a cave called 'Blue Grotto'
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waiting4atickle
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On Capri there's a cave called 'Blue Grotto'
A great place to go and get blotto

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Norm Deplume
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On Capri there's a cave called 'Blue Grotto'
A great place to go and get blotto
In the eerie blue light
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tafkaj

On Capri there's a cave called 'Blue Grotto'
A great place to go and get blotto
In the eerie blue light,
You'll see quite a sight
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Mobson
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On Capri there's a cave called 'Blue Grotto'
A great place to go and get blotto
In the eerie blue light,
You'll see quite a sight
But sadly no frescoes by the artist Giotto
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Mobson
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A drag queen with a beard called Conchita
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dai Cottomy
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A drag queen with a beard called Conchita
Whose temperament couldn't be sweeter
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Caro

A drag queen with a beard called Conchita
Whose temperament couldn't be sweeter
Has won the first prize
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dai Cottomy
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A drag queen with a beard called Conchita
Whose temperament couldn't be sweeter
Has won the first prize
For her burgers with fries
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Mobson
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A drag queen with a beard called Conchita
Whose temperament couldn't be sweeter
Has won the first prize
For her burgers with fries
She's also a mellifluous tweeter
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Mobson
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Conchita entered a singing contest
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Norm Deplume
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Conchita entered a singing contest
She don't look like a dame when undressed
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Mobson
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Conchita entered a singing contest
She don't look like a dame when undressed
Adorned in a frock






<whistles> ... this is me <laugh> after I guessed the next line! <whistles>
Edited by Mobson, May 13 2014, 11:57 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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Conchita entered a singing contest
She don't look like a dame when undressed
Adorned in a frock
And only one sock
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tafkaj

Conchita entered a singing contest
She don't look like a dame when undressed
Adorned in a frock
And only one sock
She'll get chilly without her wool vest.

*********************************************

I know it's a drag, but, come on,
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Norm Deplume
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I know it's a drag, but, come on
It's not long since Prince George was born
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Mobson
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I know it's a drag, but, come on
It's not long since Prince George was born
But an heir and a spare
Edited by Mobson, May 13 2014, 04:48 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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I know it's a drag, but, come on
It's not long since Prince George was born
But an heir and a spare
Wills is losing his hair
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Norm Deplume
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I know it's a drag, but, come on
It's not long since Prince George was born
But an heir and a spare
Wills is losing his hair
Perhaps a wig will shortly be worn

In a building in old London Town
Edited by Norm Deplume, May 16 2014, 07:27 PM.
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tafkaj

In a building in old London Town
The ceiling is now falling down
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dai Cottomy
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In a building in old London Town
The ceiling is now falling down
The owners are miffed
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Norm Deplume
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In a building in old London Town
The ceiling is now falling down
The owners are miffed
There's a growing rift
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Norm Deplume
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In a building in old London Town
The ceiling is now falling down
The owners are miffed
There's a growing rift
Twixt the owners, who all feel let down



The fast train from London to Paris
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dai Cottomy
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The fast train from London to Paris
Was caught by my old mate, Joe Harris
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Norm Deplume
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The fast train from London to Paris
Was caught by my old mate, Joe Harris
Jumped on at last second
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tafkaj

The fast train from London to Paris
Was caught by my old mate, Joe Harris
Jumped on at last second
As the buffet car beckoned
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Mobson
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The fast train from London to Paris
Was caught by my old mate, Joe Harris
Jumped on at last second
As the buffet car beckoned
His pals he did really embarrass.
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Mobson
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^o) ...........not again!
Edited by Mobson, May 19 2014, 06:38 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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I did a Norm and I've forgotten what I put. Let yours stand, Mobs
Edited by dai Cottomy, May 19 2014, 06:52 PM.
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Mobson
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On a recent trip to Hawaii,
Edited by Mobson, May 20 2014, 11:41 AM.
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Mobson
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<technicolourcocktail> <happy>
Edited by Mobson, May 20 2014, 11:42 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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On a recent trip to Hawaii,
Quite unable to say Goodbyeee,

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Norm Deplume
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On a recent trip to Hawaii,
Quite unable to say Goodbyeee,
I tripped on my lei
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Mobson
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On a recent trip to Hawaii,
Quite unable to say Goodbyeee,
I tripped on my lei
Enforcing my stay
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dai Cottomy
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On a recent trip to Hawaii,
Quite unable to say Goodbyeee,
I tripped on my lei
Enforcing my stay
So it's "aloha" with a big sigh-ee


Paul Gaugin was fond of Tahiti
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Mobson
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Paul Gaugin was fond of Tahiti
He was also fond of the titty
Edited by Mobson, May 21 2014, 12:38 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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Paul Gaugin was fond of Tahiti
He was also fond of the titty
On a nubile maid's bum
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waiting4atickle
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Paul Gaugin was fond of Tahiti
He was also fond of the titty
On a nubile maid's bum
He would balance his rum

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Mobson
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Paul Gaugin was fond of Tahiti
He was also fond of the titty
On a nubile maid's bum
He would balance his rum
Whilst recounting a dirty ditty
Edited by Mobson, May 21 2014, 08:34 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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On the subject of a nubile maid's bum
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waiting4atickle
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On the subject of a nubile maid's bum
It's usually best to keep mum

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Mobson
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On the subject of a nubile maid's bum
It's usually best to keep mum
Try being discreet

Edited by Mobson, May 22 2014, 11:27 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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On the subject of a nubile maid's bum
It's usually best to keep mum
Try being discreet
Just call it her seat
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Norm Deplume
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On the subject of a nubile maid's bum
It's usually best to keep mum
Try being discreet
Just call it her seat
And be nonchalant, my old chum.


The speed that he ran was outstanding
Edited by Norm Deplume, May 26 2014, 01:51 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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The speed that he ran was outstanding
But sadly he made a bad landing
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Mobson
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The speed that he ran was outstanding
But sadly he made a bad landing
His coxis bruised badly
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Norm Deplume
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The speed that he ran was outstanding
But sadly he made a bad landing
His coxis bruised badly
He did not suffer gladly
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waiting4atickle
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The speed that he ran was outstanding
But sadly he made a bad landing
His coxis bruised badly
He did not suffer gladly
The fools that he found too demanding.


'Twas because his legs were bionic

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dai Cottomy
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'Twas because his legs were bionic
He could move at speeds supersonic
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Norm Deplume
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'Twas because his legs were bionic
He could move at speeds supersonic
His body was a blur
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tafkaj

'Twas because his legs were bionic
He could move at speeds supersonic
His body was a blur
And the colour of Schloer
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dai Cottomy
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'Twas because his legs were bionic
He could move at speeds supersonic
His body was a blur
And the colour of Schloer
Which he took with a little tonic


To be honest he was an odd chap
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Norm Deplume
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To be honest he was an odd chap
A man who was always in a flap
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