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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,831 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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Mobson
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To be honest he was an odd chap
A man who was always in a flap
From morning 'til night
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Norm Deplume
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To be honest he was an odd chap
A man who was always in a flap
From morning 'til night
Always looking for a fight
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Mobson
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To be honest he was an odd chap
A man who was always in a flap
From morning 'til night
Always looking for a fight
Someone needs to give him a slap!
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Mobson
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The King of Clay is playing today
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waiting4atickle
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The King of Clay is playing today
Can anyone take his title away?

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Mobson
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The King of Clay is playing today
Can anyone take his title away?
Maybe Djoko can
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Norm Deplume
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The King of Clay is playing today
Can anyone take his title away?
Maybe Djoko can
He could be just the man
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Mobson
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The King of Clay is playing today
Can anyone take his title away?
Maybe Djoko can
He could be just the man
Or it could that dour Scot, Murray
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Mobson
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Today Murray plays with Monfils
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Norm Deplume
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Today Murray plays with Monfils
Are you sure? It doesn't seem real
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dai Cottomy
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Today Murray plays with Monfils
Are you sure? It doesn't seem real
My son only plays darts
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waiting4atickle
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Today Murray plays with Monfils
Are you sure? It doesn't seem real
My son only plays darts
With doctors from St Bart's

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dai Cottomy
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Today Murray plays with Monfils
Are you sure? It doesn't seem real
My son only plays darts
With doctors from St Bart's
And only when he travels to Nice



Ladies who make noises when playing
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Mobson
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Ladies who make noises when playing
Remind me of young fillies a'braying







<cool> I saw Stephie Graff play on Wimbledon's centre court a few times during her tennis career and with her long blond pony tail flying through the air when she bent her head to serve she always reminded me of a splendid young filly....
Edited by Mobson, Jun 5 2014, 12:03 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Ladies who make noises when playing
Remind me of young fillies a'braying
But what makes me sigh
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rumbaba
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Ladies who make noises when playing
Remind me of young fillies a'braying
But what makes me sigh
is a lass with a pie
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Mobson
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RUM!!!! :ermm:
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rumbaba
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<huh????>
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Norm Deplume
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Ladies who make noises when playing
Remind me of young fillies a'braying
But what makes me sigh
is a lass with a pie
And a laugh that's like horses a'neighing


It's a shame, that she felt how she did
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dai Cottomy
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It's a shame, that she felt how she did
When she suddenly lifted the lid
Edited by dai Cottomy, Jun 5 2014, 12:55 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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It's a shame, that she felt how she did
When she suddenly lifted the lid
The surprise on her face
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jun 5 2014, 01:00 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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It's a shame, that she felt how she did
When she suddenly lifted the lid
The surprise on her face
was a sort of grimace
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Mobson
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It's a shame, that she felt how she did
When she suddenly lifted the lid
The surprise on her face
was a sort of grimace
Staring back at her was a live squid
Edited by Mobson, Jun 5 2014, 09:05 PM.
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Mobson
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Will I think of a line in time
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dai Cottomy
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Will I think of a line in time
You can always act out a mime
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Mobson
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Will I think of a line in time
You can always act out a mime
But no-one will see it
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Norm Deplume
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Will I think of a line in time
You can always act out a mime
But no-one will see it
Ah well! and So-be-it
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dai Cottomy
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Will I think of a line in time
You can always act out a mime
But no-one will see it
Ah well! and So-be-it
So make mine a lager and lime


George Washington never told lies
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waiting4atickle
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George Washington never told lies,
Knowing Truth is the perfect disguise

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dai Cottomy
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George Washington never told lies,
Knowing Truth is the perfect disguise
When he chopped down a tree
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waiting4atickle
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George Washington never told lies,
Knowing Truth is the perfect disguise
When he chopped down a tree
He said "Yes, it was me"

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Norm Deplume
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George Washington never told lies,
Knowing Truth is the perfect disguise
When he chopped down a tree
He said "Yes, it was me"
And his Daddy said, "What a Surprise"!


I just can't think of a good first line
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dai Cottomy
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That was a good last line, Norm


I just can't think of a good first line
When I ask a young lady to dine
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Mobson
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I just can't think of a good first line
When I ask a young lady to dine
Afraid of rejection
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tafkaj

I just can't think of a good first line
When I ask a young lady to dine;
Afraid of rejection,
I get an erection
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waiting4atickle
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Mobs leading you on again, Taf?

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tafkaj

By the nose ... (And other parts of my anatomy.)
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dai Cottomy
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I just can't think of a good first line
When I ask a young lady to dine;
Afraid of rejection,
I get an erection
And make her an offer she can't decline


Is there no end to this stream of dross?
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waiting4atickle
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Is there no end to this stream of dross?
Does nobody out there give a toss?

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Mobson
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waiting4atickle
Jun 7 2014, 12:43 PM
Mobs leading you on again, Taf?
Always!!!!!! <angel>
Edited by Mobson, Jun 8 2014, 07:51 AM.
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Mobson
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Is there no end to this stream of dross?
Does nobody out there give a toss?
Apparently not!
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Norm Deplume
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Is there no end to this stream of dross?
Does nobody out there give a toss?
Apparently not!
Don't give a jot!
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dai Cottomy
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Is there no end to this stream of dross?
Does nobody out there give a toss?
Apparently not!
Don't give a jot!
We'll jolly well show them who's boss.

Identical twins from Calcutta
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Norm Deplume
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Identical twins from Calcutta
Couldn't tell Stork from Butter
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Mobson
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Identical twins from Calcutta
Couldn't tell Stork from Butter
Their two twin racoons
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Norm Deplume
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Identical twins from Calcutta
Couldn't tell Stork from Butter
Their two twin racoons
Gave a tune on the spoons
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Mobson
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Identical twins from Calcutta
Couldn't tell Stork from Butter
Their two twin racoons
Gave a tune on the spoons
As they were all sat in the gutter
Edited by Mobson, Jun 10 2014, 09:10 AM.
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Mobson
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Our schools must 'promote British values'
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Norm Deplume
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Our schools must 'promote British values'
Of the kind that your closest pal use
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Mobson
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Our schools must 'promote British values'
Of the kind that your closest pal use
How to implement this coda?
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Norm Deplume
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Our schools must 'promote British values'
Of the kind that your closest pal use
How to implement this coda?
Have a whisky and soda!
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dai Cottomy
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Our schools must 'promote British values'
Of the kind that your closest pal use
How to implement this coda?
Have a whisky and soda!
After all, what have you got to lose?

The British, it's said, like to play fair
Edited by dai Cottomy, Jun 13 2014, 04:10 PM.
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tafkaj

"The British, it's said, like to play fair,"
Said the wolf to the Kodiak bear
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Norm Deplume
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"The British, it's said, like to play fair,"
Said the wolf to the Kodiak bear
The bear said to the wolf,
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waiting4atickle
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"The British, it's said, like to play fair,"
Said the wolf to the Kodiak bear
The bear said to the wolf,
"I was there, at the Gulf"

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Mobson
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"The British, it's said, like to play fair,"
Said the wolf to the Kodiak bear
The bear said to the wolf,
"I was there, at the Gulf"
The wolf said "d'yer think that I care".

Edited by Mobson, Jun 15 2014, 08:24 PM.
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Mobson
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When Old Ned got addicted to gin
Edited by Mobson, Jun 15 2014, 08:39 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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When Old Ned got addicted to gin
He went round with a vacuous grin

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tafkaj

When Old Ned got addicted to gin
He went round with a vacuous grin,
Just like Gordon Brown
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dai Cottomy
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When Old Ned got addicted to gin
He went round with a vacuous grin,
Just like Gordon Brown
In a dressing gown
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Norm Deplume
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When Old Ned got addicted to gin
He went round with a vacuous grin,
Just like Gordon Brown
In a dressing gown
He ended up dumped in a bin.


A bin is a box for all things
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tafkaj

A bin is a box for all things,
Such as solder and buffalo wings :'(
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Norm Deplume
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A bin is a box for all things,
Such as solder and buffalo wings :'(
odd screws and obscure bits
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tafkaj

A bin is a box for all things,
Such as solder and buffalo wings, :'(
Odd screws and obscure bits
Of irons and old Airfix kits
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Norm Deplume
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A bin is a box for all things,
Such as solder and buffalo wings, :'(
Odd screws and obscure bits
Of irons and old Airfix kits
And a toy canary that sings



The Mayor of Wells-Next-The-Sea
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Mobson
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The Mayor of Wells-Next-The-Sea
Got stung by a very large bee
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dai Cottomy
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The Mayor of Wells-Next-The-Sea
Got stung by a very large bee
He let out a yell
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waiting4atickle
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The Mayor of Wells-Next-The-Sea
Got stung by a very large bee
He let out a yell
Then stumbled and fell

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dai Cottomy
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The Mayor of Wells-Next-The-Sea
Got stung by a very large bee
He let out a yell
Then stumbled and fell
Then soothed it by applying cold tea


A plasterer from sunny Penzance
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waiting4atickle
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A plasterer from sunny Penzance
Got plastered on a ferry to France

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Mobson
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A plasterer from sunny Penzance
Got plastered on a ferry to France
He overshot the jetty
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dai Cottomy
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A plasterer from sunny Penzance
Got plastered on a ferry to France
He overshot the jetty
While waving a machete
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Norm Deplume
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A plasterer from sunny Penzance
Got plastered on a ferry to France
He overshot the jetty
While waving a machete
And doing the tarantella dance



On a trip to San Marco in Venice
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dai Cottomy
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On a trip to San Marco in Venice
I encountered a plumber called Dennis
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Mobson
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;) blimey! all these tradesmen going to exotic locations

On a trip to San Marco in Venice
I encountered a plumber called Dennis
He said Venice is sinking
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Norm Deplume
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On a trip to San Marco in Venice
I encountered a plumber called Dennis
He said "Venice is sinking"
And then without blinking
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Norm Deplume
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On a trip to San Marco in Venice
I encountered a plumber called Dennis
He said "Venice is sinking"
And then without blinking
Said, "lets go to Wimbledon for the tennis"



The price of the strawberries was high
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dai Cottomy
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On a trip to San Marco in Venice
I encountered a plumber called Dennis
He said "Venice is sinking"
And then without blinking
Went off for a game of tennis

Wimbledon is almost upon us
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Mobson
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Wimbledon is almost upon us
We Brits make a terrible fuss
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tafkaj

Wimbledon is almost upon us
We Brits make a terrible fuss
'Bout Andy and Tim
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Mobson
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Wimbledon is almost upon us
We Brits make a terrible fuss
'Bout Andy and Tim
More Andy than him
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waiting4atickle
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Wimbledon is almost upon us
We Brits make a terrible fuss
'Bout Andy and Tim
More Andy than him
But it's Naomi the papers discuss.


A young racketeer from west Cheadle

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Mobson
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A young racketeer from west Cheadle
Distantly related to Jeremy Beadle
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dai Cottomy
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A young racketeer from west Cheadle
Distantly related to Jeremy Beadle
Sold me a duff Rolex
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Norm Deplume
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A young racketeer from west Cheadle
Distantly related to Jeremy Beadle
Sold me a duff Rolex
and some rough Durex
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Mobson
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A young racketeer from west Cheadle
Distantly related to Jeremy Beadle
Sold me a duff Rolex
and some rough Durex
Which really gave me 'the needle'.

*********************************

To avoid giving strangers advice
Edited by Mobson, Jun 25 2014, 12:40 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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To avoid giving strangers advice
I tried to talk short and precise
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Mobson
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To avoid giving strangers advice
I tried to talk short and precise
But being Somali
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dai Cottomy
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To avoid giving strangers advice
I tried to talk short and precise
But being Somali
And a right Charlie
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Norm Deplume
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To avoid giving strangers advice
I tried to talk short and precise
But being Somali
And a right Charlie
I found nothing that would quite suffice



In the south of Tierra del Fuego
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Norm Deplume
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In the south of Tierra del Fuego
Lives a chap who is known as 'El Dago'
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tafkaj

[Good grief, Norm - keep your head down, mate!]

In the south of Tierra del Fuego
Lives a chap who is known as 'El Dago'
He doesn't mind the cold
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Norm Deplume
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In the south of Tierra del Fuego
Lives a chap who is known as 'El Dago'
He doesn't mind the cold
But he's not quite so bold
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Mobson
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In the south of Tierra del Fuego
Lives a chap who is known as 'El Dago'
He doesn't mind the cold
But he's not quite so bold
When moulding his wonga like Play-doh
Edited by Mobson, Jun 29 2014, 09:07 AM.
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Mobson
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In the mountains of old Catalonia
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Mobson
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In the mountains of old Catalonia
Edited by Mobson, Jun 29 2014, 09:28 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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In the mountains of old Catalonia
There are acres of yellow mahonia
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Norm Deplume
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In the mountains of old Catalonia
There are acres of yellow mahonia
While down at the beach
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Norm Deplume
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In the mountains of old Catalonia
There are acres of yellow mahonia
While down at the beach
Just close enough to reach
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dai Cottomy
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In the mountains of old Catalonia
There are acres of yellow mahonia
While down at the beach
Just close enough to reach
Is a dead shark that smells of ammonia

I have a very sensitive nose

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