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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,830 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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I have a very sensitive nose
Which allows me to sniff out a rose

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Mobson
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I have a very sensitive nose
I also have very hairy toes
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Norm Deplume
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I have a very sensitive nose
I also have very hairy toes
Pick one, scratch the other
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dai Cottomy
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I have a very sensitive nose
I also have very hairy toes
Pick one, scratch the other
(Not in front of mother)
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Mobson
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I have a very sensitive nose
I also have very hairy toes
Pick one, scratch the other
(Not in front of mother)
But I'm sure nobody knows

*****************************

Ex-president of France Nic Sarkozy
Edited by Mobson, Jul 9 2014, 12:22 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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Ex-president of France Nick Sarkosy
Used to play Ring Around the Rosie

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Mobson
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Ex-president of France Nic Sarkozy
Used to play Ring Around the Rosie
Until he met Carla
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dai Cottomy
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Ex-president of France Nic Sarkozy
Used to play Ring Around the Rosie
Until he met Carla
In a massage parlour
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Norm Deplume
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Ex-president of France Nic Sarkozy
Used to play Ring Around the Rosie
Until he met Carla
In a massage parlour
And a life he thought would be cosy


Crafty Nic had irons in the fire
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Mobson
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Crafty Nic had irons in the fire
Which he used to fuel his desire
Edited by Mobson, Jul 10 2014, 01:13 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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Crafty Nic had irons in the fire
Which he used to fuel his desire
But when they were hot

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Mobson
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Crafty Nic had irons in the fire
Which he used to fuel his desire
But when they were hot
His cohorts were not

Edited by Mobson, Jul 12 2014, 06:42 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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Crafty Nic had irons in the fire
Which he used to fuel his desire
But when they were hot
His cohorts were not
He resembled old Mrs Doubtfire



The devil within me broke loose
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waiting4atickle
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The devil within me broke loose
At the sight of the hangman's noose

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Mobson
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The devil within me broke loose
At the sight of the hangman's noose
I let out a scream
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dai Cottomy
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The devil within me broke loose
At the sight of the hangman's noose
I let out a scream
It was but a dream
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Norm Deplume
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The devil within me broke loose
At the sight of the hangman's noose
I let out a scream
It was but a dream
Spent the rest of the night drinking booze


It took me back t'when I was a child
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waiting4atickle
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It took me back t'when I was a child
In the days when I used to run wild

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Mobson
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It took me back t'when I was a child
In the days when I used to run wild
On those blackhearted moors
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Norm Deplume
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It took me back t'when I was a child
In the days when I used to run wild
On those blackhearted moors
While we're searching for spoors
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Norm Deplume
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It took me back t'when I was a child
In the days when I used to run wild
On those blackhearted moors
While we're searching for spoors
If we found them, we were so beguiled


The charm of a waiter in Brighton
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dai Cottomy
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The charm of a waiter in Brighton
Known as the admirable Crichton
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Norm Deplume
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The charm of a waiter in Brighton
Known as the admirable Crichton
In his little blue frock
Edited by Norm Deplume, Jul 22 2014, 06:39 PM.
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Mobson
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The charm of a waiter in Brighton
Known as the admirable Crichton
In his little blue frock
The ladies he'd rock
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dai Cottomy
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The charm of a waiter in Brighton
Known as the admirable Crichton
In his little blue frock
The ladies he'd rock
As they all went to sleep with the light on


A disgusting old tramp from South Shields
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Norm Deplume
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A disgusting old tramp from South Shields
A powerfully strong odour he yields
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dai Cottomy
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A disgusting old tramp from South Shields
A powerfully strong odour he yields
He last washed after tea
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Norm Deplume
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A disgusting old tramp from South Shields
A powerfully strong odour he yields
He last washed after tea
But between you and me
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Mobson
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A disgusting old tramp from South Shields
A powerfully strong odour he yields
He last washed after tea
But between you and me
He needs to go stink out in open fields
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Mobson
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I swear it's getting hotter every year
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Norm Deplume
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I swear it's getting hotter every year
Will it soon be even too hot to bear?
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Mobson
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I swear it's getting hotter every year
Will it soon be even too hot to bear?
Is the sun overheating?
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Caro

I swear it's getting hotter every year
Will it soon be even too hot to bear?
Is the sun overheating?
Na, it will only be fleeting
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Norm Deplume
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I swear it's getting hotter every year
Will it soon be even too hot to bear?
Is the sun overheating?
Na, it will only be fleeting
I hope so, then the 'end' won't be near


I do try to be good but it's tricky
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dai Cottomy
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I swear it's getting hotter every year
Will it soon be even too hot to bear?
Is the sun overheating?
Na, it will only be fleeting
Compared to Death Valley, this is small beer

Where does rain mainly fall in Spain?








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Norm Deplume
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snap ! ! !
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dai Cottomy
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After you, Norm...


I do try to be good but it's tricky
To be smart without taking the mickey
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Norm Deplume
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I do try to be good but it's tricky
To be smart without taking the mickey
But try as I may
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dai Cottomy
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I do try to be good but it's tricky
To be smart without taking the mickey
But try as I may
I can't find a way
Edited by dai Cottomy, Jul 29 2014, 10:35 AM.
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rumbaba
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I do try to be good but it's tricky
To be smart without taking the mickey
But try as I may
I can't find a way
So I'll stop for some tea and a bickie



It's nice when the sun's got his hat on
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dai Cottomy
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It's nice when the sun's got his hat on
As long as it hasn't been sat on


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waiting4atickle
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It's nice when the sun's got his hat on
As long as it hasn't been sat on
But it's too hot to play

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rumbaba
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It's nice when the sun's got his hat on
As long as it hasn't been sat on
But it's too hot to play
in the sunshine today

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Caro

It's nice when the sun's got his hat on
As long as it hasn't been sat on
But it's too hot to play
In the sunshine today
So let's sit, eat and pile the fat on.

It's a first gold for Kiribati athletes (Kiribati pronounced Kiribass for some unknown reason)
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Norm Deplume
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It's a first gold for Kiribati athletes(Kiribati pronounced Kiribass for some unknown reason)
So it's their turn to be showered with treats
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Caro

It's a first gold for Kiribati athletes (Kiribati pronounced Kiribass for some unknown reason)
So it's their turn to be showered with treats
Medals and flowers
------------------
---------------------------------------
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tafkaj

It's a first gold for Kiribati athletes (Kiribati pronounced Kiribass for some unknown reason)
So it's their turn to be showered with treats,
Medals and flowers,
Before the win sours
---------------------------------------
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Norm Deplume
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It's a first gold for Kiribati athletes (Kiribati pronounced Kiribass for some unknown reason)
So it's their turn to be showered with treats,
Medals and flowers,
Before the win sours
And the team has a run of defeats




All the Beeb's programmes are back
Edited by Norm Deplume, Aug 5 2014, 05:12 PM.
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Mobson
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All the Beeb's programmes are back
Although someone must get the sack
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Norm Deplume
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All the Beeb's programmes are back
Although someone must get the sack
Sport morn noon and night
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Mobson
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All the Beeb's programmes are back
Although someone must get the sack
Sport morn noon and night
Is a monotonous sight
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Caro

All the Beeb's programmes are back
Although someone must get the sack
Sport morn noon and night
Is a monotonous sight
But the BBC still leads the pack.
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waiting4atickle
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Now Caro's forgotten the starter

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dai Cottomy
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Now Caro's forgotten the starter
We'll have to think up something smarter
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waiting4atickle
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Now Caro's forgotten the starter
We'll have to think up something smarter
Greek salad perhaps

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dai Cottomy
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Now Caro's forgotten the starter
We'll have to think up something smarter
Greek salad perhaps
Or bacon and egg baps
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Mobson
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Now Caro's forgotten the starter
We'll have to think up something smarter
Greek salad perhaps
Or bacon and egg baps
or sarnies, simple cheese and tomata!
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Mobson
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In Wales there are welsh cakes for tea
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tafkaj

In Wales there are welsh cakes for tea,
But none for you - they're all for me
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dai Cottomy
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In Wales there are welsh cakes for tea,
But none for you - they're all for me
In Ireland there's stew
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Caro

Sorry about forgetting the starter earlier - I was too busy wondering why people who have the wonderful BBC to be proud of do nothing but criticise it. Oh, to have anything 100th as good here.

In Wales there are welsh cakes for tea,
But none for you - they're all for me
In Ireland there's stew
Or a fine Guinness brew
Edited by Caro, Aug 12 2014, 02:22 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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In Wales there are welsh cakes for tea,
But none for you - they're all for me
In Ireland there's stew
Or a Guinness brew
I must get hold of some vitamin C

They say that you are what you eat
Edited by dai Cottomy, Aug 9 2014, 11:52 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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They say that you are what you eat
Which explains why I'm dead on my feet

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Mobson
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They say that you are what you eat
Which explains why I'm dead on my feet
To restore joie de vivre
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dai Cottomy
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They say that you are what you eat
Which explains why I'm dead on my feet
To restore joie de vivre
And cure yellow fever

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Mobson
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They say that you are what you eat
Which explains why I'm dead on my feet
To restore joie de vivre
And cure yellow fever
I'm gonna eat plenty of meat
Edited by Mobson, Aug 10 2014, 08:04 PM.
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Mobson
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I'll never become vegetarian
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Norm Deplume
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I'll never become vegetarian
Although I'm an octogenarian
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Mobson
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I'll never become vegetarian
Although I'm an octogenarian
Without fish and meat
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waiting4atickle
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I'll never become vegetarian
Although I'm an octogenarian
Without fish and meat
I'd have nothing to eat

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dai Cottomy
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I'll never become vegetarian
Although I'm an octogenarian
Without fish and meat
I'd have nothing to eat
And never be a centenarian


A very old bloke from Kentucky
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Caro

I'll never become vegetarian
Although I'm an octogenarian
Without fish and meat
I'd have nothing to eat
And would end up a silly contrarian.


There's too many contrary round here
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Norm Deplume
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A very old bloke from Kentucky
Put his age down to being quite lucky



There's too many contrary round here
So barman, please pour me a beer
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dai Cottomy
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A very old bloke from Kentucky
Put his age down to being quite lucky
"I don't drink or smoke"
--------------------------
-----------------------------------


There's too many contrary round here
So barman, please pour me a beer
One does you no harm
-------------------------
------------------------------------------





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Mobson
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A very old bloke from Kentucky
Put his age down to being quite lucky
"I don't drink or smoke"
I'm a good sort of bloke
-----------------------------------


There's too many contrary round here
So barman, please pour me a beer
One does you no harm
An anesthetic balm
------------------------------------------


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Norm Deplume
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A very old bloke from Kentucky
Put his age down to being quite lucky
"I don't drink or smoke"
I'm a good sort of bloke
Obliging, real friendly and plucky


There's too many contrary round here
So barman, please pour me a beer
One does you no harm
An anesthetic balm
Here's to a life of good cheer


I walked my horse down to the lake
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Mobson
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I walked my horse down to the lake
and a gallon of water he did take
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dai Cottomy
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I walked my horse down to the lake
and a gallon of water he did take
When he had finiished
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Caro

I walked my horse down to the lake
And a gallon of water he did take
When he had finished -
The pond not diminished -
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waiting4atickle
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I walked my horse down to the lake
And a gallon of water he did take
When he had finished -
The pond not diminished -
I rode to the pub, my thirst to slake.


There was a hot tottie from Troy

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Mobson
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There was a hot tottie from Troy
With an ambition to have every boy
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dai Cottomy
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There was a hot tottie from Troy
With an ambition to have every boy
She met one called Hector
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Norm Deplume
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There was a hot tottie from Troy
With an ambition to have every boy
She met one called Hector
(his dad was a rector)
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dai Cottomy
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There was a hot tottie from Troy
With an ambition to have every boy
She met one called Hector
(his dad was a rector)
Whose unbridled passion filled her with joy.


A Bulgarian builder called Greg
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Caro

A Bulgarian builder called Greg
Bashed his hammer against his good leg
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Norm Deplume
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A Bulgarian builder called Greg
Bashed his hammer against his good leg
He yelled, "damnandblast"!
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dai Cottomy
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A Bulgarian builder called Greg
Bashed his hammer against his good leg
He yelled, "damnandblast"!
As he stood aghast
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Mobson
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A Bulgarian builder called Greg
Bashed his hammer against his good leg
He yelled, "damnandblast"!
As he stood aghast
Whilst a chainsaw cut thro his peg leg




He couldn't believe his bad luck
Edited by Mobson, Aug 14 2014, 09:27 PM.
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Norm Deplume
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He couldn't believe his bad luck
As he fell into a pile of thick muck
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Caro

He couldn't believe his bad luck
As he fell into a pile of thick muck
He screamed and he shouted
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dai Cottomy
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He couldn't believe his bad luck
As he fell into a pile of thick muck
He screamed and he shouted
Decorum he flouted
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Norm Deplume
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He couldn't believe his bad luck
As he fell into a pile of thick muck
He screamed and he shouted
Decorum he flouted
He really was 'out for a duck'


Old Jonas, the barman from Stroud
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waiting4atickle
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Old Jonas, the barman from Stroud
Was a grump who hated a crowd

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dai Cottomy
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Old Jonas, the barman from Stroud
Was a grump who hated a crowd
When coaches pulled up
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Caro

Old Jonas, the barman from Stroud
Was a grump who hated a crowd
When coaches pulled up
He hid every cup
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Mobson
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Old Jonas, the barman from Stroud
Was a grump who hated a crowd
When coaches pulled up
He hid every cup
"None'll drink here" he avowed
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Mobson
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Whilst making a new batch of Red Leicester
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Norm Deplume
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Whilst making a new batch of Red Leicester
The cheesemaker's daughter young Esther
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waiting4atickle
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Whilst making a new batch of Red Leicester
The cheesemaker's daughter young Esther
Was blown to her knees

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dai Cottomy
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Whilst making a new batch of Red Leicester
The cheesemaker's daughter young Esther
Was blown to her knees
By a squadron of bees
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