| Limericks | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,830 Views) | |
| caissier | Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM Post #1 |
|
Administrator
|
waiting4atickle Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467 Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011 There was an old hero called Ajax who certainly lived life to the max His fighting was mythic His muscles terrythic From the years he'd spent building haystacks. Now they're gunning for poor old Brock Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Replies: | |
|---|---|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 5 2014, 09:28 PM Post #2001 |
![]()
|
I have a very sensitive nose Which allows me to sniff out a rose |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 6 2014, 03:53 AM Post #2002 |
|
I have a very sensitive nose I also have very hairy toes |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 8 2014, 12:56 PM Post #2003 |
|
I have a very sensitive nose I also have very hairy toes Pick one, scratch the other |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 8 2014, 03:29 PM Post #2004 |
|
I have a very sensitive nose I also have very hairy toes Pick one, scratch the other (Not in front of mother) |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 8 2014, 05:34 PM Post #2005 |
|
I have a very sensitive nose I also have very hairy toes Pick one, scratch the other (Not in front of mother) But I'm sure nobody knows ***************************** Ex-president of France Nic Sarkozy Edited by Mobson, Jul 9 2014, 12:22 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 8 2014, 11:45 PM Post #2006 |
![]()
|
Ex-president of France Nick Sarkosy Used to play Ring Around the Rosie |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 9 2014, 08:36 AM Post #2007 |
|
Ex-president of France Nic Sarkozy Used to play Ring Around the Rosie Until he met Carla |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 9 2014, 09:21 AM Post #2008 |
|
Ex-president of France Nic Sarkozy Used to play Ring Around the Rosie Until he met Carla In a massage parlour |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 9 2014, 10:12 AM Post #2009 |
|
Ex-president of France Nic Sarkozy Used to play Ring Around the Rosie Until he met Carla In a massage parlour And a life he thought would be cosy Crafty Nic had irons in the fire |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 10 2014, 01:12 AM Post #2010 |
|
Crafty Nic had irons in the fire Which he used to fuel his desire Edited by Mobson, Jul 10 2014, 01:13 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 11 2014, 11:06 PM Post #2011 |
![]()
|
Crafty Nic had irons in the fire Which he used to fuel his desire But when they were hot |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 12 2014, 06:41 AM Post #2012 |
|
Crafty Nic had irons in the fire Which he used to fuel his desire But when they were hot His cohorts were not Edited by Mobson, Jul 12 2014, 06:42 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 13 2014, 03:19 PM Post #2013 |
|
Crafty Nic had irons in the fire Which he used to fuel his desire But when they were hot His cohorts were not He resembled old Mrs Doubtfire The devil within me broke loose |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 14 2014, 06:40 PM Post #2014 |
![]()
|
The devil within me broke loose At the sight of the hangman's noose |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 15 2014, 09:34 AM Post #2015 |
|
The devil within me broke loose At the sight of the hangman's noose I let out a scream |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 15 2014, 04:20 PM Post #2016 |
|
The devil within me broke loose At the sight of the hangman's noose I let out a scream It was but a dream |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 15 2014, 07:35 PM Post #2017 |
|
The devil within me broke loose At the sight of the hangman's noose I let out a scream It was but a dream Spent the rest of the night drinking booze It took me back t'when I was a child |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 15 2014, 11:28 PM Post #2018 |
![]()
|
It took me back t'when I was a child In the days when I used to run wild |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 16 2014, 06:44 AM Post #2019 |
|
It took me back t'when I was a child In the days when I used to run wild On those blackhearted moors |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 17 2014, 07:20 PM Post #2020 |
|
It took me back t'when I was a child In the days when I used to run wild On those blackhearted moors While we're searching for spoors |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 19 2014, 04:32 PM Post #2021 |
|
It took me back t'when I was a child In the days when I used to run wild On those blackhearted moors While we're searching for spoors If we found them, we were so beguiled The charm of a waiter in Brighton |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 22 2014, 09:53 AM Post #2022 |
|
The charm of a waiter in Brighton Known as the admirable Crichton |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 22 2014, 06:39 PM Post #2023 |
|
The charm of a waiter in Brighton Known as the admirable Crichton In his little blue frock Edited by Norm Deplume, Jul 22 2014, 06:39 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 23 2014, 12:11 AM Post #2024 |
|
The charm of a waiter in Brighton Known as the admirable Crichton In his little blue frock The ladies he'd rock |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 23 2014, 02:46 AM Post #2025 |
|
The charm of a waiter in Brighton Known as the admirable Crichton In his little blue frock The ladies he'd rock As they all went to sleep with the light on A disgusting old tramp from South Shields |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 23 2014, 09:37 AM Post #2026 |
|
A disgusting old tramp from South Shields A powerfully strong odour he yields |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 23 2014, 11:53 AM Post #2027 |
|
A disgusting old tramp from South Shields A powerfully strong odour he yields He last washed after tea |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 23 2014, 02:39 PM Post #2028 |
|
A disgusting old tramp from South Shields A powerfully strong odour he yields He last washed after tea But between you and me |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 25 2014, 10:00 AM Post #2029 |
|
A disgusting old tramp from South Shields A powerfully strong odour he yields He last washed after tea But between you and me He needs to go stink out in open fields |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 25 2014, 10:01 AM Post #2030 |
|
I swear it's getting hotter every year |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 25 2014, 04:02 PM Post #2031 |
|
I swear it's getting hotter every year Will it soon be even too hot to bear? |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Jul 25 2014, 09:39 PM Post #2032 |
|
I swear it's getting hotter every year Will it soon be even too hot to bear? Is the sun overheating? |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Jul 27 2014, 05:48 AM Post #2033 |
|
I swear it's getting hotter every year Will it soon be even too hot to bear? Is the sun overheating? Na, it will only be fleeting |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 27 2014, 03:36 PM Post #2034 |
|
I swear it's getting hotter every year Will it soon be even too hot to bear? Is the sun overheating? Na, it will only be fleeting I hope so, then the 'end' won't be near I do try to be good but it's tricky |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 27 2014, 03:36 PM Post #2035 |
|
I swear it's getting hotter every year Will it soon be even too hot to bear? Is the sun overheating? Na, it will only be fleeting Compared to Death Valley, this is small beer Where does rain mainly fall in Spain? |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 28 2014, 11:14 AM Post #2036 |
|
snap ! ! ! |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 28 2014, 12:32 PM Post #2037 |
|
After you, Norm... I do try to be good but it's tricky To be smart without taking the mickey |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Jul 28 2014, 01:51 PM Post #2038 |
|
I do try to be good but it's tricky To be smart without taking the mickey But try as I may |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 29 2014, 10:35 AM Post #2039 |
|
I do try to be good but it's tricky To be smart without taking the mickey But try as I may I can't find a way Edited by dai Cottomy, Jul 29 2014, 10:35 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| rumbaba | Jul 29 2014, 10:40 AM Post #2040 |
|
I do try to be good but it's tricky To be smart without taking the mickey But try as I may I can't find a way So I'll stop for some tea and a bickie It's nice when the sun's got his hat on |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Jul 29 2014, 10:49 AM Post #2041 |
|
It's nice when the sun's got his hat on As long as it hasn't been sat on |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Jul 30 2014, 08:06 AM Post #2042 |
![]()
|
It's nice when the sun's got his hat on As long as it hasn't been sat on But it's too hot to play |
![]() |
|
| rumbaba | Jul 30 2014, 03:29 PM Post #2043 |
|
It's nice when the sun's got his hat on As long as it hasn't been sat on But it's too hot to play in the sunshine today |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Jul 31 2014, 12:34 AM Post #2044 |
|
It's nice when the sun's got his hat on As long as it hasn't been sat on But it's too hot to play In the sunshine today So let's sit, eat and pile the fat on. It's a first gold for Kiribati athletes (Kiribati pronounced Kiribass for some unknown reason) |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 1 2014, 01:59 PM Post #2045 |
|
It's a first gold for Kiribati athletes(Kiribati pronounced Kiribass for some unknown reason) So it's their turn to be showered with treats |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 4 2014, 11:28 PM Post #2046 |
|
It's a first gold for Kiribati athletes (Kiribati pronounced Kiribass for some unknown reason) So it's their turn to be showered with treats Medals and flowers ------------------ --------------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| tafkaj | Aug 5 2014, 02:10 PM Post #2047 |
|
It's a first gold for Kiribati athletes (Kiribati pronounced Kiribass for some unknown reason) So it's their turn to be showered with treats, Medals and flowers, Before the win sours --------------------------------------- |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 5 2014, 05:11 PM Post #2048 |
|
It's a first gold for Kiribati athletes (Kiribati pronounced Kiribass for some unknown reason) So it's their turn to be showered with treats, Medals and flowers, Before the win sours And the team has a run of defeats All the Beeb's programmes are back Edited by Norm Deplume, Aug 5 2014, 05:12 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 6 2014, 03:28 PM Post #2049 |
|
All the Beeb's programmes are back Although someone must get the sack |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 7 2014, 09:52 AM Post #2050 |
|
All the Beeb's programmes are back Although someone must get the sack Sport morn noon and night |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 7 2014, 10:38 AM Post #2051 |
|
All the Beeb's programmes are back Although someone must get the sack Sport morn noon and night Is a monotonous sight |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 7 2014, 10:36 PM Post #2052 |
|
All the Beeb's programmes are back Although someone must get the sack Sport morn noon and night Is a monotonous sight But the BBC still leads the pack. |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 8 2014, 11:41 AM Post #2053 |
![]()
|
Now Caro's forgotten the starter |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 8 2014, 12:10 PM Post #2054 |
|
Now Caro's forgotten the starter We'll have to think up something smarter |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 8 2014, 09:05 PM Post #2055 |
![]()
|
Now Caro's forgotten the starter We'll have to think up something smarter Greek salad perhaps |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 8 2014, 09:54 PM Post #2056 |
|
Now Caro's forgotten the starter We'll have to think up something smarter Greek salad perhaps Or bacon and egg baps |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 9 2014, 07:50 AM Post #2057 |
|
Now Caro's forgotten the starter We'll have to think up something smarter Greek salad perhaps Or bacon and egg baps or sarnies, simple cheese and tomata! |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 9 2014, 07:55 AM Post #2058 |
|
In Wales there are welsh cakes for tea |
![]() |
|
| tafkaj | Aug 9 2014, 12:59 PM Post #2059 |
|
In Wales there are welsh cakes for tea, But none for you - they're all for me |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 9 2014, 01:45 PM Post #2060 |
|
In Wales there are welsh cakes for tea, But none for you - they're all for me In Ireland there's stew |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 9 2014, 10:49 PM Post #2061 |
|
Sorry about forgetting the starter earlier - I was too busy wondering why people who have the wonderful BBC to be proud of do nothing but criticise it. Oh, to have anything 100th as good here. In Wales there are welsh cakes for tea, But none for you - they're all for me In Ireland there's stew Or a fine Guinness brew Edited by Caro, Aug 12 2014, 02:22 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 9 2014, 11:01 PM Post #2062 |
|
In Wales there are welsh cakes for tea, But none for you - they're all for me In Ireland there's stew Or a Guinness brew I must get hold of some vitamin C They say that you are what you eat Edited by dai Cottomy, Aug 9 2014, 11:52 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 10 2014, 12:51 AM Post #2063 |
![]()
|
They say that you are what you eat Which explains why I'm dead on my feet |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 10 2014, 08:24 AM Post #2064 |
|
They say that you are what you eat Which explains why I'm dead on my feet To restore joie de vivre |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 10 2014, 12:56 PM Post #2065 |
|
They say that you are what you eat Which explains why I'm dead on my feet To restore joie de vivre And cure yellow fever |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 10 2014, 08:03 PM Post #2066 |
|
They say that you are what you eat Which explains why I'm dead on my feet To restore joie de vivre And cure yellow fever I'm gonna eat plenty of meat Edited by Mobson, Aug 10 2014, 08:04 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 10 2014, 08:05 PM Post #2067 |
|
I'll never become vegetarian |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 11 2014, 09:13 AM Post #2068 |
|
I'll never become vegetarian Although I'm an octogenarian |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 11 2014, 11:59 PM Post #2069 |
|
I'll never become vegetarian Although I'm an octogenarian Without fish and meat |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 12 2014, 12:30 AM Post #2070 |
![]()
|
I'll never become vegetarian Although I'm an octogenarian Without fish and meat I'd have nothing to eat |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 12 2014, 02:23 AM Post #2071 |
|
I'll never become vegetarian Although I'm an octogenarian Without fish and meat I'd have nothing to eat And never be a centenarian A very old bloke from Kentucky |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 12 2014, 02:25 AM Post #2072 |
|
I'll never become vegetarian Although I'm an octogenarian Without fish and meat I'd have nothing to eat And would end up a silly contrarian. There's too many contrary round here |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 12 2014, 09:37 AM Post #2073 |
|
A very old bloke from Kentucky Put his age down to being quite lucky There's too many contrary round here So barman, please pour me a beer |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 12 2014, 12:29 PM Post #2074 |
|
A very old bloke from Kentucky Put his age down to being quite lucky "I don't drink or smoke" -------------------------- ----------------------------------- There's too many contrary round here So barman, please pour me a beer One does you no harm ------------------------- ------------------------------------------ |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 12 2014, 07:00 PM Post #2075 |
|
A very old bloke from Kentucky Put his age down to being quite lucky "I don't drink or smoke" I'm a good sort of bloke ----------------------------------- There's too many contrary round here So barman, please pour me a beer One does you no harm An anesthetic balm ------------------------------------------ |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 12 2014, 07:33 PM Post #2076 |
|
A very old bloke from Kentucky Put his age down to being quite lucky "I don't drink or smoke" I'm a good sort of bloke Obliging, real friendly and plucky There's too many contrary round here So barman, please pour me a beer One does you no harm An anesthetic balm Here's to a life of good cheer I walked my horse down to the lake |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 12 2014, 08:18 PM Post #2077 |
|
I walked my horse down to the lake and a gallon of water he did take |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 13 2014, 07:29 PM Post #2078 |
|
I walked my horse down to the lake and a gallon of water he did take When he had finiished |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 13 2014, 10:54 PM Post #2079 |
|
I walked my horse down to the lake And a gallon of water he did take When he had finished - The pond not diminished - |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 14 2014, 12:00 AM Post #2080 |
![]()
|
I walked my horse down to the lake And a gallon of water he did take When he had finished - The pond not diminished - I rode to the pub, my thirst to slake. There was a hot tottie from Troy |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 14 2014, 12:22 AM Post #2081 |
|
There was a hot tottie from Troy With an ambition to have every boy |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 14 2014, 06:09 AM Post #2082 |
|
There was a hot tottie from Troy With an ambition to have every boy She met one called Hector |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 14 2014, 09:16 AM Post #2083 |
|
There was a hot tottie from Troy With an ambition to have every boy She met one called Hector (his dad was a rector) |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 14 2014, 09:43 AM Post #2084 |
|
There was a hot tottie from Troy With an ambition to have every boy She met one called Hector (his dad was a rector) Whose unbridled passion filled her with joy. A Bulgarian builder called Greg |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 14 2014, 10:44 AM Post #2085 |
|
A Bulgarian builder called Greg Bashed his hammer against his good leg |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 14 2014, 02:49 PM Post #2086 |
|
A Bulgarian builder called Greg Bashed his hammer against his good leg He yelled, "damnandblast"! |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 14 2014, 09:16 PM Post #2087 |
|
A Bulgarian builder called Greg Bashed his hammer against his good leg He yelled, "damnandblast"! As he stood aghast |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 14 2014, 09:20 PM Post #2088 |
|
A Bulgarian builder called Greg Bashed his hammer against his good leg He yelled, "damnandblast"! As he stood aghast Whilst a chainsaw cut thro his peg leg He couldn't believe his bad luck Edited by Mobson, Aug 14 2014, 09:27 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 15 2014, 02:35 PM Post #2089 |
|
He couldn't believe his bad luck As he fell into a pile of thick muck |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 16 2014, 01:16 AM Post #2090 |
|
He couldn't believe his bad luck As he fell into a pile of thick muck He screamed and he shouted |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 16 2014, 12:51 PM Post #2091 |
|
He couldn't believe his bad luck As he fell into a pile of thick muck He screamed and he shouted Decorum he flouted |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 18 2014, 10:10 AM Post #2092 |
|
He couldn't believe his bad luck As he fell into a pile of thick muck He screamed and he shouted Decorum he flouted He really was 'out for a duck' Old Jonas, the barman from Stroud |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 18 2014, 04:10 PM Post #2093 |
![]()
|
Old Jonas, the barman from Stroud Was a grump who hated a crowd |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 18 2014, 05:42 PM Post #2094 |
|
Old Jonas, the barman from Stroud Was a grump who hated a crowd When coaches pulled up |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Aug 20 2014, 09:06 PM Post #2095 |
|
Old Jonas, the barman from Stroud Was a grump who hated a crowd When coaches pulled up He hid every cup |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 22 2014, 12:02 PM Post #2096 |
|
Old Jonas, the barman from Stroud Was a grump who hated a crowd When coaches pulled up He hid every cup "None'll drink here" he avowed |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Aug 22 2014, 12:03 PM Post #2097 |
|
Whilst making a new batch of Red Leicester |
![]() |
|
| Norm Deplume | Aug 22 2014, 04:37 PM Post #2098 |
|
Whilst making a new batch of Red Leicester The cheesemaker's daughter young Esther |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Aug 22 2014, 05:02 PM Post #2099 |
![]()
|
Whilst making a new batch of Red Leicester The cheesemaker's daughter young Esther Was blown to her knees |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Aug 22 2014, 05:57 PM Post #2100 |
|
Whilst making a new batch of Red Leicester The cheesemaker's daughter young Esther Was blown to her knees By a squadron of bees |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Mornington Crescent · Next Topic » |







7:07 AM Jul 13