| Limericks | |
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| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,828 Views) | |
| caissier | Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM Post #1 |
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waiting4atickle Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467 Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011 There was an old hero called Ajax who certainly lived life to the max His fighting was mythic His muscles terrythic From the years he'd spent building haystacks. Now they're gunning for poor old Brock Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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| Mobson | Jan 14 2015, 10:03 AM Post #2201 |
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A rush for Charlie's first issue today
Edited by Mobson, Jan 14 2015, 10:04 AM.
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| waiting4atickle | Jan 14 2015, 11:06 PM Post #2202 |
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A rush for Charlie's first issue today Don't worry, there's millions more on the way |
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| Mobson | Jan 17 2015, 11:21 AM Post #2203 |
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A rush for Charlie's first issue today Don't worry, there's millions more on the way Mohammed offended? |
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| dai Cottomy | Jan 17 2015, 11:41 AM Post #2204 |
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A rush for Charlie's first issue today Don't worry, there's millions more on the way Mohammed offended? Sanity Suspended? |
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| Mobson | Jan 20 2015, 08:03 AM Post #2205 |
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A rush for Charlie's first issue today Don't worry, there's millions more on the way Mohammed offended? Sanity Suspended? No! Just Hebdo having it's say |
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| Mobson | Jan 20 2015, 08:04 AM Post #2206 |
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Darling Deidre's gone to Soap Heaven
Edited by Mobson, Jan 20 2015, 08:04 AM.
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| Caro | Jan 21 2015, 09:31 PM Post #2207 |
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Darling Deidre's gone to Soap Heaven Is that in the sky or perhaps Devon? |
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| Mobson | Jan 22 2015, 12:02 PM Post #2208 |
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Darling Deidre's gone to Soap Heaven Is that in the sky or perhaps Devon? With accolades galore |
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| dai Cottomy | Jan 31 2015, 12:26 PM Post #2209 |
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Darling Deidre's gone to Soap Heaven Is that in the sky or perhaps Devon? With accolades galore We'll see her no more |
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| Mobson | Feb 4 2015, 02:12 PM Post #2210 |
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Darling Deidre's gone to Soap Heaven Is that in the sky or perhaps Devon? With accolades galore We'll see her no more As the Angels will surely beckon |
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| Mobson | Feb 4 2015, 02:13 PM Post #2211 |
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Our Norm loved a good limerick |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 4 2015, 02:46 PM Post #2212 |
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Our Norm loved a good limerick Perhaps the ones here made him sick |
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| Mobson | Feb 4 2015, 03:07 PM Post #2213 |
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Our Norm loved a good limerick Perhaps the ones here made him sick What an outrageous idea! |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 17 2015, 07:51 PM Post #2214 |
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Our Norm loved a good limerick Perhaps the ones here made him sick What an outrageous idea! But let's be quite clear He was a stout hearted old stick. A ditsy young maiden from Peckham |
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| waiting4atickle | Feb 18 2015, 09:58 PM Post #2215 |
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A ditsy young maiden from Peckham Took out her hooters to check 'em |
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| Mobson | Feb 19 2015, 11:14 AM Post #2216 |
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A ditsy young maiden from Peckham Took out her hooters to check 'em To her dismay |
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 22 2015, 01:17 PM Post #2217 |
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A ditsy young maiden from Peckham Took out her hooters to check 'em To her dismay This brazen display |
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| Mobson | Feb 22 2015, 01:50 PM Post #2218 |
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A ditsy young maiden from Peckham Took out her hooters to check 'em To her dismay This brazen display Made her master yearn so to deck 'em Edited by Mobson, Feb 22 2015, 01:59 PM.
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| Mobson | Feb 22 2015, 01:54 PM Post #2219 |
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Will Eddie unite with Oscar tonight?
Edited by Mobson, Feb 22 2015, 03:31 PM.
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| dai Cottomy | Feb 22 2015, 10:05 PM Post #2220 |
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Will Eddie unite with Oscar tonight? Or will he just fade out of sight? |
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| Mobson | Feb 23 2015, 09:33 AM Post #2221 |
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Will Eddie unite with Oscar tonight? Or will he just fade out of sight? No chance of that |
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| waiting4atickle | Mar 1 2015, 06:38 PM Post #2222 |
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Will Eddie unite with Oscar tonight? Or will he just fade out of sight? No chance of that Well, I'll eat my hat |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 1 2015, 09:56 PM Post #2223 |
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Will Eddie unite with Oscar tonight? Or will he just fade out of sight? No chance of that Well, I'll eat my hat Our home-grown film critic was right A lion tamer from Crouch End |
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| Mobson | Mar 3 2015, 09:40 AM Post #2224 |
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A lion tamer from Crouch End His life in the cage did defend |
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| Mobson | Mar 3 2015, 05:24 PM Post #2225 |
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Break for a favourite Limerick from John Cooper Clark at the BBC6 Music festival 2015... 2 ugly sisters from Fordham Took a walk one day out of boredom On the way back a sex maniac Jumps out of bush and ignored them "Everybody loves a limerick" says JCC http://www.bbc.co.uk/programmes/articles/44gljjxYcDsKdvW2YSbgpvh/bbc-6-music-festival-by-day-punk-poetry-and-spoken-word Edited by Mobson, Mar 3 2015, 05:24 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Mar 4 2015, 10:57 PM Post #2226 |
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A lion tamer from Crouch End His life in the cage did defend He said, with a quip, |
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| Mobson | Mar 5 2015, 08:23 AM Post #2227 |
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A lion tamer from Crouch End His life in the cage did defend He said, with a quip, And a crack of a whip, Edited by Mobson, Mar 5 2015, 08:24 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 5 2015, 10:54 AM Post #2228 |
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A lion tamer from Crouch End His life in the cage did defend He said, with a quip, And a crack of a whip, "That's for eating my lady friend" The lion took the rebuke rather well |
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| Mobson | Mar 5 2015, 11:25 AM Post #2229 |
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The lion took the rebuke rather well Or so far as the lion tamer could tell |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 5 2015, 04:02 PM Post #2230 |
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The lion took the rebuke rather well Or so far as the lion tamer could tell because after his shout It spat bits of her out |
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| Caro | Mar 7 2015, 07:10 AM Post #2231 |
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The lion took the rebuke rather well Or so far as the lion tamer could tell because after his shout It spat bits of her out And then lay right down for a spell. The tamer laid out all those bits |
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| Mobson | Mar 7 2015, 09:18 AM Post #2232 |
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The tamer laid out all those bits Like one of those Meccano kits |
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| Caro | Mar 13 2015, 06:07 AM Post #2233 |
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The tamer laid out all those bits Like one of those Meccano kits He tried them for size |
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| Mobson | Mar 16 2015, 01:19 AM Post #2234 |
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The tamer laid out all those bits Like one of those Meccano kits He tried them for size Then came to realise Edited by Mobson, Mar 16 2015, 01:19 AM.
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| Caro | Mar 16 2015, 01:42 AM Post #2235 |
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The tamer laid out all those bits Like one of those Meccano kits He tried them for size Then came to realise No good would e'er come from those spits. There once was a lady of Spain |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 16 2015, 01:27 PM Post #2236 |
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There once was a lady of Spain Who fell into a very large drain |
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| Mobson | Mar 17 2015, 04:50 AM Post #2237 |
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There once was a lady of Spain Who fell into a very large drain With her legs poking out Edited by Mobson, Mar 17 2015, 04:50 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 17 2015, 11:35 AM Post #2238 |
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There once was a lady of Spain Who fell into a very large drain With her legs poking out She let out a shout |
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| waiting4atickle | Mar 17 2015, 02:41 PM Post #2239 |
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There once was a lady of Spain Who fell into a very large drain With her legs poking out She let out a shout As the grate squashed her varicose vein. One's legs can be troublesome things |
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| Caro | Mar 19 2015, 08:50 AM Post #2240 |
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One's legs can be troublesome things Just ask those who've danced highland flings |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 19 2015, 04:08 PM Post #2241 |
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One's legs can be troublesome things Just ask those who've danced highland flings If one's short and one's long |
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| Mobson | Mar 23 2015, 10:38 PM Post #2242 |
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One's legs can be troublesome things Just ask those who've danced highland flings If one's short and one's long No matter what the song |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 24 2015, 06:03 PM Post #2243 |
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One's legs can be troublesome things Just ask those who've danced highland flings If one's short and one's long No matter what the song 't ain't over 'til the fat lady sings A very thin lady from Crewe |
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| waiting4atickle | Mar 24 2015, 10:39 PM Post #2244 |
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A very thin lady from Crewe Fell in love with a wandering Jew |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 27 2015, 11:30 AM Post #2245 |
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A very thin lady from Crewe Fell in love with a wandering Jew They married in haste |
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| Mobson | Mar 27 2015, 07:16 PM Post #2246 |
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A very thin lady from Crewe Fell in love with a wandering Jew They married in haste Tho' considered bad taste |
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| dai Cottomy | Mar 31 2015, 01:11 PM Post #2247 |
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A very thin lady from Crewe Fell in love with a wandering Jew They married in haste Tho' considered bad taste The bridegroom sang Foggy Foggy Dew A very fat bank clerk from Margate |
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| Mobson | Mar 31 2015, 01:46 PM Post #2248 |
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A very fat bank clerk from Margate Drank Ale at the Dove inn in Dargate Edited by Mobson, Mar 31 2015, 02:31 PM.
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| Caro | Apr 6 2015, 10:37 AM Post #2249 |
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A very fat bank clerk from Margate Drank ale at the Dove Inn in Dargate He waddled back out |
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| Mobson | Apr 8 2015, 08:38 AM Post #2250 |
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A very fat bank clerk from Margate Drank ale at the Dove Inn in Dargate He waddled back out With a pint of black stout |
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| Caro | Apr 8 2015, 09:45 AM Post #2251 |
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A very fat bank clerk from Margate Drank ale at the Dove Inn in Dargate He waddled back out With a pint of black stout And flew back to Sheffield and Fargate. A lovely young lass, Mary Jean, |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 8 2015, 05:55 PM Post #2252 |
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A lovely young lass, Mary Jean, Was a whiz on the sewing machine |
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| Mobson | Apr 9 2015, 08:23 AM Post #2253 |
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A lovely young lass, Mary Jean, Was a whiz on the sewing machine With garments imperious |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 9 2015, 11:54 AM Post #2254 |
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A lovely young lass, Mary Jean, Was a whiz on the sewing machine With garments imperious And clients delerious |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 14 2015, 10:35 AM Post #2255 |
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A lovely young lass, Mary Jean, Was a whiz on the sewing machine With garments imperious And clients delirious She made clothes that were fit for a queen There was a young man from Kentucky |
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| Mobson | Apr 14 2015, 01:13 PM Post #2256 |
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There was a young man from Kentucky Who when gambling was extremely lucky |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 15 2015, 09:50 AM Post #2257 |
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There was a young man from Kentucky Who when gambling was extremely lucky He once won ten grand |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 16 2015, 11:55 AM Post #2258 |
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There was a young man from Kentucky Who when gambling was extremely lucky He once won ten grand With a good poker hand |
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| Caro | Apr 17 2015, 08:40 AM Post #2259 |
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There was a young man from Kentucky Who when gambling was extremely lucky He once won ten grand With a good poker hand And said, "Well, there you are ducky." With the duck-shooting season upon us |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 21 2015, 02:01 PM Post #2260 |
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With the duck-shooting season upon us A good shotgun is a useful bonus Edited by dai Cottomy, Apr 21 2015, 02:02 PM.
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| Mobson | Apr 21 2015, 02:09 PM Post #2261 |
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With the duck-shooting season upon us A good shotgun is a useful bonus No fun for the duck |
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| dai Cottomy | Apr 25 2015, 04:38 PM Post #2262 |
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With the duck-shooting season upon us A good shotgun is a useful bonus No fun for the duck Who's right out of luck |
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| Mobson | Jun 7 2015, 12:11 PM Post #2263 |
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With the duck-shooting season upon us A good shotgun is a useful bonus No fun for the duck Who's right out of luck For the Shooter who's really non-plus |
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| Mobson | Jun 7 2015, 12:12 PM Post #2264 |
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I was thinking of old Norm today |
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| Caro | Jun 9 2015, 05:27 AM Post #2265 |
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I was thinking of old Norm today It's sad that he's passed right away |
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| Mobson | Jun 9 2015, 10:59 AM Post #2266 |
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I was thinking of old Norm today It's sad that he's passed right away He was a character for sure Edited by Mobson, Jun 9 2015, 11:27 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 9 2015, 01:24 PM Post #2267 |
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I was thinking of old Norm today It's sad that he's passed right away He was a character for sure His kind are getting fewer |
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| Caro | Jun 14 2015, 06:25 AM Post #2268 |
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I was thinking of old Norm today It's sad that he's passed right away He was a character for sure His kind are getting fewer We lose one or two every day. Let's cheer up and think of some thrills |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 14 2015, 12:53 PM Post #2269 |
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Let's cheer up and think of some thrills Like climbing those blue remembered hills Edited by dai Cottomy, Jun 14 2015, 01:24 PM.
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| Caro | Jun 14 2015, 09:21 PM Post #2270 |
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Let's cheer up and think of some thrills Like climbing those blue remembered hills Up, up and away [Actually, the thought of climbing any hills is not a thrill for me, but something to be avoided at all costs!] |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 24 2015, 04:57 PM Post #2271 |
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Let's cheer up and think of some thrills Like climbing those blue remembered hills Up, up and away I'll go there some day |
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| waiting4atickle | Jun 24 2015, 08:37 PM Post #2272 |
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Let's cheer up and think of some thrills Like climbing those blue remembered hills Up, up and away I'll go there some day And let somebody else pay the bills. If you go to the royal regatta |
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| dai Cottomy | Jun 25 2015, 12:56 PM Post #2273 |
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If you go to the royal regatta You will hear lots of inane chatter |
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| Mobson | Jul 21 2015, 08:30 AM Post #2274 |
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If you go to the royal regatta You will hear lots of inane chatter Far better stay away |
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 23 2015, 12:34 PM Post #2275 |
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If you go to the royal regatta You will hear lots of inane chatter Far better stay away And spend the rest of the day |
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| Mobson | Jul 23 2015, 01:15 PM Post #2276 |
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If you go to the royal regatta You will hear lots of inane chatter Far better stay away And spend the rest of the day With yer pals having a natter |
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| Caro | Jul 25 2015, 12:34 AM Post #2277 |
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But where's your next line, Mobson? |
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| Mobson | Jul 29 2015, 11:12 AM Post #2278 |
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The Lords are in hot water again |
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 29 2015, 01:32 PM Post #2279 |
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The Lords are in hot water again Lond Sewel has gone down the drain |
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| Mobson | Jul 30 2015, 03:33 AM Post #2280 |
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The Lords are in hot water again Lord Sewel has gone down the drain Exposed by the Sun Edited by Mobson, Jul 30 2015, 03:34 AM.
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| Rikiiboy | Jul 30 2015, 04:12 AM Post #2281 |
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The Lords are in hot water again Lord Sewel has gone down the drain Exposed by the Sun On page three with a nun Edited by Rikiiboy, Jul 30 2015, 04:13 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Jul 30 2015, 11:50 AM Post #2282 |
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The Lords are in hot water again Lord Sewel has gone down the drain Exposed by the Sun On page three with a nun discussing the delights of cocaine A habitual drunkard called Ken |
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| Caro | Aug 2 2015, 01:35 AM Post #2283 |
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A habitual drunkard called Ken Sat morose and downcast in his den |
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| Mobson | Aug 2 2015, 02:23 AM Post #2284 |
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A habitual drunkard called Ken Sat morose and downcast in his den How he longed for a drink Edited by Mobson, Aug 2 2015, 02:23 AM.
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 2 2015, 12:22 PM Post #2285 |
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A habitual drunkard called Ken Sat morose and downcast in his den How he longed for a drink And not having to think |
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| Caro | Aug 3 2015, 10:52 AM Post #2286 |
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A habitual drunkard called Ken Sat morose and downcast in his den How he longed for a drink And not having to think How he'd recently split up from Ben. But Ben was enjoying his life |
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| Mobson | Aug 3 2015, 11:41 AM Post #2287 |
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But Ben was enjoying his life Without the need for a 'wife' |
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| Rikiiboy | Aug 5 2015, 08:57 PM Post #2288 |
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But Ben was enjoying his life Without the need for a 'wife' He'd make do and mend |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 6 2015, 08:53 PM Post #2289 |
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But Ben was enjoying his life Without the need for a 'wife' He'd make do and mend Get a four legged friend |
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| Mobson | Aug 6 2015, 11:29 PM Post #2290 |
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But Ben was enjoying his life Without the need for a 'wife' He'd make do and mend Get a four legged friend And live in a bungalow in Fyffe Edited by Mobson, Aug 6 2015, 11:30 PM.
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| Mobson | Aug 6 2015, 11:31 PM Post #2291 |
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Ken pined for his long lost friend
Edited by Mobson, Aug 6 2015, 11:31 PM.
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| waiting4atickle | Aug 7 2015, 12:09 AM Post #2292 |
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Ken pined for his long lost friend And went looking for him in Southend |
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| Mobson | Aug 7 2015, 08:57 AM Post #2293 |
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Ken pined for his long lost friend And went looking for him in Southend But Ben was in Fyffe |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 7 2015, 10:15 AM Post #2294 |
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Ken pined for his long lost friend And went looking for him in Southend But Ben was in Fyffe Having the time of his life |
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| Rikiiboy | Aug 7 2015, 02:56 PM Post #2295 |
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Ken pined for his long lost friend And went looking for him in Southend But Ben was in Fyffe Having the time of his life While Ken played with his big end. So the wolves are all out for Ted Heath |
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| waiting4atickle | Aug 8 2015, 11:39 PM Post #2296 |
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So the wolves are all out for Ted Heath They covet his wonderful teeth |
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| dai Cottomy | Aug 9 2015, 09:03 PM Post #2297 |
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So the wolves are all out for Ted Heath They covet his wonderful teeth He hated Mrs. T.... |
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| Mobson | Aug 10 2015, 12:30 PM Post #2298 |
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So the wolves are all out for Ted Heath They covet his wonderful teeth He hated Mrs. T.... So derisive of he! |
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| Caro | Aug 19 2015, 10:03 PM Post #2299 |
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So the wolves are all out for Ted Heath They covet his wonderful teeth He hated Mrs. T.... So derisive of he! But what fame will he bequeath? The public are dead keen on judging |
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| Mobson | Aug 20 2015, 07:26 AM Post #2300 |
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The public are dead keen on judging Those people who seem to be fudging |
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Darling Deidre's gone to Soap Heaven

7:07 AM Jul 13