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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,827 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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The public are dead keen on judging
Those people who seem to be fudging
The issue, as ever

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Caro

The public are dead keen on judging
Those people who seem to be fudging
The issue, as ever
Why will they never
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Mobson
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The public are dead keen on judging
Those people who seem to be fudging
The issue, as ever
Why will they never
Speak the truth without any begrudging
Edited by Mobson, Aug 24 2015, 06:26 AM.
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Mobson
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England have brought home the Ashes
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Caro

England have brought home the Ashes
They did it without many bashes
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Mobson
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England have brought home the Ashes
They did it without many bashes
The Aussies defeated
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Caro

England have brought home the Ashes
They did it without many bashes
The Aussies defeated
Their captain then bleated
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dai Cottomy
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England have brought home the Ashes
They did it without many bashes
The Aussies defeated
Their captain then bleated
"Why do we deserve all these thrashes?"


The answer may have something to do

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Mobson
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The answer may have something to do
With a spot of successful voodoo
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Reg Chronotis

The answer may have something to do
With a spot of successful voodoo.
There's a curse on the ball
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waiting4atickle
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The answer may have something to do
With a spot of successful voodoo.
There's a curse on the ball
And the umpire's call

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Mobson
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The answer may have something to do
With a spot of successful voodoo.
There's a curse on the ball
And the umpire's call
and placement of the bowler's shoe!
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Mobson
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Whilst shopping for new glasses in Rome
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waiting4atickle
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Whilst shopping for new glasses in Rome
(Some crystal to grace her new home)

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Mobson
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He He...this was what prompted my first line! .... http://www.bbc.co.uk/news/world-europe-34148161


Whilst shopping for new glasses in Rome
(Some crystal to grace her new home)
She espied a Bellini
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dai Cottomy
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Whilst shopping for new glasses in Rome
(Some crystal to grace her new home)
She espied a Bellini
(subject: Girl In Bikini)
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Caro

Whilst shopping for new glasses in Rome
(Some crystal to grace her new home)
She espied a Bellini
(subject: Girl In Bikini)
And shouted, "I'll frame it in chrome."

The art world has riches galore

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dai Cottomy
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The art world has riches galore
But a lot of it's frankly a bore
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waiting4atickle
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The art world has riches galore
But a lot of it's frankly a bore
Some isn't for prudes

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dai Cottomy
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The art world has riches galore
But a lot of it's frankly a bore
Some isn't for prudes
Like Lucien Freud's nudes
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Mobson
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The art world has riches galore
But a lot of it's frankly a bore
Some isn't for prudes
Like Lucien Freud's nudes
Or Chapman Bros scenes of gore



Saw Ai Weiwei today...his forthcoming exhibition at the Royal Academy opens this Saturday ...& I know where's he staying!

https://www.royalacademy.org.uk/exhibition/ai-weiwei?gclid=CPT06d2Z-scCFUS4GwodhRUGQw


Ai Weiwei's a changed man they say
Edited by Mobson, Sep 16 2015, 09:37 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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Ai Weiwei's a changed man they say
He made sunflower seeds out of clay
.
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waiting4atickle
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Ai Weiwei's a changed man they say
He made sunflower seeds out of clay
They didn't grow well

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Mobson
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Ai Weiwei's a changed man they say
He made sunflower seeds out of clay
They didn't grow well
They were toxic as hell
Edited by Mobson, Oct 8 2015, 07:54 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Ai Weiwei's a changed man they say
He made sunflower seeds out of clay
They didn't grow well
They were toxic as hell
Now he has millions in taxes to pay


A lumberjack called Colin from Poole

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waiting4atickle
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A lumberjack called Colin from Poole
Cut a figure that made women drool

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dai Cottomy
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A lumberjack called Colin from Poole
Cut a figure that made women drool
Once when wielding his axe


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waiting4atickle
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A lumberjack called Colin from Poole
Cut a figure that made women drool
Once when wielding his axe
He made a few cracks

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dai Cottomy
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A lumberjack called Colin from Poole
Cut a figure that made women drool
Once when wielding his axe
He made a few cracks
And all the girls said "you are so cool!"


A shepherd from a village in Gwent


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Reg Chronotis

A shepherd from a village in Gwent
Retired and moved into a tent.
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dai Cottomy
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A shepherd from a village in Gwent
Retired and moved into a tent.
A storm blew it away
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Reg Chronotis

A shepherd from a village in Gwent
Retired and moved into a tent.
A storm blew it away
Leaving nothing, they say,
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dai Cottomy
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A shepherd from a village in Gwent
Retired and moved into a tent.
A storm blew it away
Leaving nothing, they say,
But it saved him a fortune in rent


Two hairy bikers from Devises
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Mobson
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Two hairy bikers from Devises
Brought up before the Assizes
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dai Cottomy
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Two hairy bikers from Devises
Brought up before the Assizes
The judge said with a frown
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waiting4atickle
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Two hairy bikers from Devises
Brought up before the Assizes
The judge said with a frown
"I'm sending you down"

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dai Cottomy
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Two hairy bikers from Devises
Brought up before the Assizes
The judge said with a frown
"I'm sending you down;
For your crimes there aren't any prizes"


A respectable lady from Crewe

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Mobson
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A respectable lady from Crewe
Renowned for always dressing in blue
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dai Cottomy
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A respectable lady from Crewe
Renowned for always dressing in blue
Decided one day
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waiting4atickle
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A respectable lady from Crewe
Renowned for always dressing in blue
Decided one day
That a few shades of grey

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dai Cottomy
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A respectable lady from Crewe
Renowned for always dressing in blue
Decided one day
That a few shades of grey
Would be so easy to misconstrue


A gentleman farmer from Norwich


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waiting4atickle
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A gentleman farmer from Norwich
Who'd been to agricultural college


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dai Cottomy
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A gentleman farmer from Norwich
Who'd been to agricultural college
One day after lunch

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waiting4atickle
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A gentleman farmer from Norwich
Who'd been to agricultural college
One day after lunch
Came up with a hunch

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dai Cottomy
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A gentleman farmer from Norwich
Who'd been to agricultural college
One day after lunch
Came up with a hunch
Using cornflakes as unicorn forage

Can't think of an opening line
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Mobson
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Can't think of an opening line
Oh! Think this will do just fine
Edited by Mobson, Dec 24 2015, 08:58 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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Can't think of an opening line
Oh! think this will do just fine
I Just need a small shove
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Mobson
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Can't think of an opening line
Oh! think this will do just fine
I just need a small shove
Ok, I'll put on me glove!
Edited by Mobson, Dec 24 2015, 11:40 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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Can't think of an opening line
Oh! think this will do just fine
I just need a small shove
Ok, I'll put on me glove!
Well thank you so much, have some wine


Or perhaps you'd rather have whisky?
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waiting4atickle
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Or perhaps you'd rather have whisky?
I don't know - it can make you frisky

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Mobson
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Or perhaps you'd rather have whisky?
I don't know - it can make you frisky
No, the wine is fine

Edited by Mobson, Dec 25 2015, 04:59 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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Or perhaps you'd rather have whisky?
I don't know - it can make you frisky
No, the wine is fine
Good, shall we dine?
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Mobson
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Or perhaps you'd rather have whisky?
I don't know - it can make you frisky
No, the wine is fine
Good, shall we dine?
No! I'm afraid I'm feeling too piss-ky!
Edited by Mobson, Jan 3 2016, 11:03 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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May we have an opening line, Mobs?
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waiting4atickle
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May we have an opening line, Mobs?
Or are you too busy with other jobs?

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dai Cottomy
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May we have an opening line, Mobs?
Or are you too busy with other jobs?
Like stocking up on chocs
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waiting4atickle
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May we have an opening line, Mobs?
Or are you too busy with other jobs?
Like stocking up on chocs
And rewinding all the clocks

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dai Cottomy
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May we have an opening line, Mobs?
Or are you too busy with other jobs?
Like stocking up on chocs
And rewinding all the clocks
Or reading the life of Jack Hobbs *

* http://www.espncricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/453661.html


A race horse owner from Kentucky
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Mobson
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dai Cottomy
Jan 14 2016, 09:40 AM
May we have an opening line, Mobs?
Or are you too busy with other jobs?
Like stocking up on chocs
And rewinding all the clocks
Or reading the life of Jack Hobbs *

* http://www.espncricinfo.com/magazine/content/story/453661.html
Ha Ha Dai...I am a Hobbs by marriage and at first, when giving my name over the telephone, I used to say Hobbs as in Jack! Also used to keep a copy of a book on him in the guest toilet! Little did I know then that just how much cricket would come to mean to me later!!! <happy>

A race horse owner from Kentucky
Thought he was a might unlucky
Edited by Mobson, Jan 14 2016, 10:52 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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A race horse owner from Kentucky
Thought he was a mite unlucky
When his mare came in first

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dai Cottomy
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A race horse owner from Kentucky
Thought he was a mite unlucky
When his mare came in first
It had a great thirst
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Mobson
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A race horse owner from Kentucky
Thought he was a mite unlucky
When his mare came in first
It had a great thirst
So called by it's slang name of 'suckey'


Oxford English Dictionary
suckey หˆsuckey, a.slang.Obs.rareโ€”0
[f. suck n.1or v. + -ey, -y.]
(See quot.)
a 1700 B. E. Dict. Cant. Crew, Suckey, drunkish, maudlin, half Seas o'er.
Edited by Mobson, Jan 18 2016, 01:29 PM.
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Mobson
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A sugar tax in all NHS hospital cafes?
Edited by Mobson, Jan 18 2016, 01:32 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Blimey, Mobs - a slight superfluity of syllables :'(

A sugar tax in all NHS hospital cafes?
Hare-brained schemes never cease to amaze
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Mobson
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...'superfluity' eh! like it Dai <doff>

A sugar tax in all NHS hospital cafes?
Hare-brained schemes never cease to amaze
To cut down BMI
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dai Cottomy
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A sugar tax in all NHS hospital cafes?
Hare-brained schemes never cease to amaze
To cut down BMI
Better eat less pie
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Mobson
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A sugar tax in all NHS hospital cafes?
Hare-brained schemes never cease to amaze
To cut down BMI
Better eat less pie
And stop the habit of the perpetual graze


Bit of a mouthful that one! :'(
Edited by Mobson, Jan 19 2016, 07:46 AM.
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Mobson
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Say goodbye to the Hotel California
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waiting4atickle
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Say goodbye to the Hotel California
Check out when you like, but I warn ya

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Mobson
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Say goodbye to the Hotel California
Check out when you like, but I warn ya
There's no turning back
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dai Cottomy
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Say goodbye to the Hotel California
Check out when you like, but I warn ya
There's no turning back
No need to unpack
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Mobson
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Say goodbye to the Hotel California
Check out when you like, but I warn ya
There's no turning back
No need to unpack
Just get down with the flora and fauna!
Edited by Mobson, Feb 9 2016, 05:08 PM.
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Mobson
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Whilst going on the diet of his life
Edited by Mobson, Feb 9 2016, 05:15 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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Whilst going on the diet of his life
Young Kev cut himself with a knife

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dai Cottomy
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Whilst going on the diet of his life
Young Kev cut himself with a knife
With the blood he made
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Mobson
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Whilst going on the diet of his life
Young Kev cut himself with a knife
With the blood he made
A concocted lethal lemonade
Edited by Mobson, Feb 11 2016, 02:11 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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:(
Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 11 2016, 06:39 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Whilst going on the diet of his life
Young Kev cut himself with a knife
With the blood he made
A concocted lethal lemonade
With a slug of gin gave it to his wife.


His wife knew he was up to no good
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waiting4atickle
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His wife knew he was up to no good
When he purposely misunderstood

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Mobson
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His wife knew he was up to no good
When he purposely misunderstood
Thought she'd given permission
Edited by Mobson, Feb 13 2016, 09:31 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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His wife knew he was up to no good
When he purposely misunderstood
Thought she'd given permission
Despite her condition
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Mobson
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His wife knew he was up to no good
When he purposely misunderstood
Thought she'd given permission
Despite her condition
To embark on another falsehood
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Mobson
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It's award season time once again
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waiting4atickle
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It's award season time once again
And the search for the best leading men

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dai Cottomy
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It's award season time once again
And the search for the best leading men
Michael or Leo?
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waiting4atickle
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It's award season time once again
And the search for the best leading men
Michael or Leo?
Who acted con brio?

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dai Cottomy
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it's award season time once again
And the search for the best leading men
Michael or Leo?
Who acted con brio?
At least it's not likely to be Sean Penn


A crafty accountant called Tanner
Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 26 2016, 03:41 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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A crafty accountant called Tanner
With a most unfortunate manner

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Mobson
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A crafty accountant called Tanner
With a most unfortunate manner
Devised a monetary plan
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dai Cottomy
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A crafty accountant called Tanner
With a most unfortunate manner
Devised a monetary plan
With his accomplice, Dan
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Mobson
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A crafty accountant called Tanner
With a most unfortunate manner
Devised a monetary plan
With his accomplice, Dan
It ended in an unfortunate manner
Edited by Mobson, Mar 20 2016, 01:29 PM.
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Mobson
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Tanner's under Her Majesty's Pleasure
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waiting4atickle
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Tanner's under Her Majesty's Pleasure
Behind bars for time without measure

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Mobson
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Tanner's under Her Majesty's Pleasure
Behind bars for time without measure
Unlike his mate Dan
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dai Cottomy
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Tanner's under Her Majesty's Pleasure
Behind bars for time without measure
Unlike his mate Dan
Who now lives in Cannes
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Mobson
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Tanner's under Her Majesty's Pleasure
Behind bars for time without measure
Unlike his mate Dan
Who now lives in Cannes
With his boat full of stolen treasure
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Mobson
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Determined to hold on to his booty
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dai Cottomy
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Determined to hold on to his booty
He bought a nightclub in Djibouti
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Mobson
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<laugh> <ok> Ooooh that's a good one Dai!
Edited by Mobson, Mar 27 2016, 02:54 PM.
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Mobson
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Determined to hold on to his booty
He bought a nightclub in Djibouti
The drinks prices were hiked
Edited by Mobson, Mar 27 2016, 07:51 PM.
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