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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,826 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 · Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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Determined to hold on to his booty
He bought a nightclub in Djibouti
The drinks prices were hiked
Cocktails were spiked
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waiting4atickle
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Determined to hold on to his booty
He bought a nightclub in Djibouti
The drinks prices were hiked
Cocktails were spiked
While the house band played 'Tutti Frutti'.


When it came to chucking-out time

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dai Cottomy
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When it came to chucking-out time
Sipping a final vodka and lime
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waiting4atickle
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When it came to chucking-out time
Sipping a final vodka and lime
They sat unconcerned

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dai Cottomy
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When it came to chucking-out time
Sipping a final vodka and lime
They sat unconcerned
As the premises burned
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Mobson
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When it came to chucking-out time
Sipping a final vodka and lime
They sat unconcerned
As the premises burned
Thus ending their life of crime
Edited by Mobson, Mar 31 2016, 09:28 AM.
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Mobson
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So England are Kolkata bound
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waiting4atickle
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So England are Kolkata bound
Where there may be a gale around

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Mobson
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So England are Kolkata bound
Where there may be a gale around
No fear from him yet
He has runs yet to get
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waiting4atickle
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So England are Kolkata bound
Where there may be a gale around
No fear from him yet
He has runs yet to get
Even without them, England were downed.


There was a young man from Barbados

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dai Cottomy
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There was a young man from Barbados
Who loved flying his kite in tornadoes
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Mobson
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There was a young man from Barbados
Who loved flying his kite in tornadoes
But to his dismay
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waiting4atickle
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There was a young man from Barbados
Who loved flying his kite in tornadoes
But to his dismay
He got blown away

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dai Cottomy
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There was a young man from Barbados
Who loved flying his kite in tornadoes
But to his dismay
He got blown away
Ended up in the suburbs of Lagos


A saucy young wench from Seattle
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waiting4atickle
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A saucy young wench from Seattle
Was the subject of much tittle-tattle

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dai Cottomy
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A saucy young wench from Seattle
Was the subject of much tittle-tattle
Every day, just for fun
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Mobson
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A saucy young wench from Seattle
Was the subject of much tittle-tattle
Every day, just for fun
She dressed as a nun
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dai Cottomy
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A saucy young wench from Seattle
Was the subject of much tittle-tattle
Every day, just for fun
She dressed as a nun
Mounted her horse, and rounded up cattle


There once was a curate from Woking
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waiting4atickle
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There once was a curate from Woking
Who discovered his egg had no yolk in

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dai Cottomy
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There once was a curate from Woking
Who discovered his egg had no yolk in
He said "it's good in parts"

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waiting4atickle
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There once was a curate from Woking
Who discovered his egg had no yolk in
He said "it's good in parts"
But the fun really starts

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dai Cottomy
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There once was a curate from Woking
Who discovered his egg had no yolk in
He said "it's good in parts"
But the fun really starts
When the Bishop began choking

A jolly old chap from Devises

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waiting4atickle
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A jolly old chap from Devises
Found his feet were two different sizes

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dai Cottomy
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A jolly old chap from Devises
Found his feet were two different sizes
When he needed footwear
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waiting4atickle
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A jolly old chap from Devises
Found his feet were two different sizes
When he needed footwear
He bought more than one pair

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dai Cottomy
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A jolly old chap from Devises
Found his feet were two different sizes
When he needed footwear
He bought more than one pair
Taking one from each he customises

A house proud young lady from Reading
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waiting4atickle
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A house proud young lady from Reading
Discovered some mites in her bedding

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Mobson
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A house proud young lady from Reading
Discovered some mites in her bedding
Appalled and dismayed
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dai Cottomy
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A house proud young lady from Reading
Discovered some mites in her bedding
Appalled and dismayed
She had her bed sprayed
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Mobson
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A house proud young lady from Reading
Discovered some mites in her bedding
Appalled and dismayed
She had her bed sprayed
Cos they really were doing her head in!
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Mobson
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Hyperbolic rhetoric ensues about Europe
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dai Cottomy
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Hyperbolic rhetoric ensues about Europe
It won't change the outcome (you hope)
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waiting4atickle
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Hyperbolic rhetoric ensues about Europe
It won't change the outcome (you hope)
Brexit seems a good wheeze

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Mobson
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That's a really dreadful first line Mobs!!!!

Hyperbolic rhetoric ensues about Europe
It won't change the outcome (you hope)
Brexit seems a good wheeze
But we'll still feel the squeeze
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dai Cottomy
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That's a really dreadful first line Mobs!!!!

Hyperbolic rhetoric ensues about Europe
It won't change the outcome (you hope)
Brexit seems a good wheeze
But we'll still feel the squeeze
While we have Boris , no need to mope!


In some jobs, high heels are de rigueur *

* pouvez-vous dire que je suis européen?
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Caro

In some jobs, high heels are de rigueur
They have to be worn with vig-our
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dai Cottomy
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In some jobs, high heels are de rigueur
They have to be worn with vig-our
The pain must be borne
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waiting4atickle
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In some jobs, high heels are de rigueur
They have to be worn with vig-our
The pain must be borne
Like bunion and corn

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dai Cottomy
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In some jobs, high heels are de rigueur
They have to be worn with vig-our
The pain must be borne
Like bunion and corn
To avoid the occasional snigger

An elderly gent from Milwaukee

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waiting4atickle
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An elderly gent from Milwaukee
Who saw the original talkie

Edited by waiting4atickle, May 20 2016, 01:24 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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An elderly gent from Milwaukee
Who saw the original talkie
Remembers Mae West
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Mobson
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An elderly gent from Milwaukee
Who saw the original talkie
Remembers Mae West
Weissmuller sans vest
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waiting4atickle
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An elderly gent from Milwaukee
Who saw the original talkie
Remembers Mae West
Weissmuller sans vest
But died all alone in Treorchy.


A lady-in-waiting from Ware

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dai Cottomy
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A lady-in-waiting from Ware
Was busily washing her hair
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Caro

A lady-in-waiting from Ware
Was busily washing her hair
When in burst a fox
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dai Cottomy
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A lady-in-waiting from Ware
Was busily washing her hair
When in burst a fox
Who pinched her best socks
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Mobson
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A lady-in-waiting from Ware
Was busily washing her hair
When in burst a fox
Who pinched her best socks
Taking them back to his lair
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Mobson
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Poor Dotty's mislaid her best purse
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dai Cottomy
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Poor Dotty's mislaid her best purse
Can you imagine anything worse?
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Caro

Poor Dotty's mislaid her best purse
Can you imagine anything worse?
The money that's in it
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dai Cottomy
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Poor Dotty's mislaid her best purse
Can you imagine anything worse?
The money that's in it
Wasn't earned in a minute
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waiting4atickle
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Poor Dotty's mislaid her best purse
Can you imagine anything worse?
The money that's in it
Wasn't earned in a minute
She had to work hard at her verse.


There was an old poet from Poole

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Caro

There was an old poet from Poole
Who was considered a silly old fool
Edited by Caro, Jun 18 2016, 11:53 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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There was an old poet from Poole
Who was considered a silly old fool
His attempts at verse
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waiting4atickle
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There was an old poet from Poole
Who was considered a silly old fool
His attempts at verse
Led many to curse

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Caro

There was an old poet from Poole
Who was considered a silly old fool
His attempts at verse
Led many to curse
And say things that, frankly, were cruel.


A skier who took to the Alps
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Douglas
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A skier who took to the Alps
Met some warriors eager for scalps.
Edited by Douglas, Aug 2 2016, 12:30 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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A skier who took to the Alps
Met some warriors eager for scalps.
With a flick of his wrist
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Caro

A skier who took to the Alps
Met some warriors eager for scalps.
With a flick of his wrist
He entered the list
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dai Cottomy
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A skier who took to the Alps
Met some warriors eager for scalps.
With a flick of his wrist
He entered the list
I'm checking the dictionary for 'walps' (it isn't there!)

A bald headed postman from Wapping
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Douglas
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A bald headed postman from Wapping
Refused to do his wife's shopping
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waiting4atickle
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A bald headed postman from Wapping
Refused to do his wife's shopping
So she stole his red van

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dai Cottomy
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A bald headed postman from Wapping
Refused to do his wife's shopping
So she stole his red van
And knocked down a man
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Caro

A bald headed postman from Wapping
Refused to do his wife's shopping
So she stole his red van
And knocked down a man
Who was outside his home just mopping.


She then stood still and just stared


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dai Cottomy
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She then stood still and just stared
Her expression showed that she cared
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Mobson
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She then stood still and just stared
Her expression showed that she cared
So she tried CPR
Edited by Mobson, Aug 6 2016, 03:29 AM.
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Caro

She then stood still and just stared
Her expression showed that she cared
So she tried CPR
And flagged down a car
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Mobson
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She then stood still and just stared
Her expression showed that she cared
So she tried CPR
And flagged down a car
Didn't stop 'cos the driver was scared!


The man hit by the van rose up and ran
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dai Cottomy
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The man hit by the van rose up and ran
And tripped over a watering can
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Douglas
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The man hit by the van rose up and ran
And tripped over a watering can
Then trod on the cat
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Caro

The man hit by the van rose up and ran
And tripped over a watering can
Then trod on the cat
Squashing it flat
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Douglas
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The man hit by the van rose up and ran
And tripped over a watering can
Then trod on the cat
Squashing it flat
And rousing the rest of the clan.

This brought them all rushing out
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dai Cottomy
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This brought them all rushing out
Wanting to know what the fuss was about
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Douglas
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This brought them all rushing out
Wanting to know what the fuss was about
But when they were told
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dai Cottomy
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This brought them all rushing out
Wanting to know what the fuss was about
But when they were told
Their manner became cold
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Douglas
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This brought them all rushing out
Wanting to know what the fuss was about
But when they were told
Their manner became cold
And they called him a horrible lout.

I think that's enough of this tale
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dai Cottomy
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I think that's enough of this tale
Let's talk about our friend, the snail
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Douglas
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I think that's enough of this tale
Let's talk about our friend, the snail
His pace is so slow
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dai Cottomy
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I think that's enough of this tale
Let's talk about our friend, the snail
His pace is so slow
But he knows where to go
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Douglas
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I think that's enough of this tale
Let's talk about our friend, the snail
His pace is so slow
But he knows where to go.
I hope he won't land in your ale.

There was a young fellow from York
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young fellow from York
Who developed an aversion to pork
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Douglas
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There was a young fellow from York
Who developed an aversion to pork
So he just stuck to lamb
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young fellow from York
Who developed an aversion to pork
So he just stuck to lamb
Sautéed and coated with jam
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Douglas
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There was a young fellow from York
Who developed an aversion to pork
So he just stuck to lamb
Sautéed and coated with jam
Which he ate with the aid of a fork.

There was an old fellow from Crewe
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dai Cottomy
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There was an old fellow from Crewe
Who lived on cow heel and cabbage stew
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Douglas
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There was an old fellow from Crewe
Who lived on cow heel and cabbage stew
He said "It's quite plain"
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dai Cottomy
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There was an old fellow from Crewe
Who lived on cow heel and cabbage stew
He said "It's quite plain
I'll have that again"
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Douglas
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There was an old fellow from Crewe
Who lived on cow heel and cabbage stew
He said "It's quite plain
I'll have that again
But right now I'm having a brew".

An incorrigible liar called Bill
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Caro

An incorrigible liar called Bill
Said, "I'm giving you all quite a thrill".
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Douglas
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An incorrigible liar called Bill
Said, "I'm giving you all quite a thrill"
As he stripped to the buff
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waiting4atickle
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An incorrigible liar called Bill
Said, "I'm giving you all quite a thrill"
As he stripped to the buff
And then strutted his stuff

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dai Cottomy
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An incorrigible liar called Bill
Said, "I'm giving you all quite a thrill"
As he stripped to the buff
And then strutted his stuff
Then fell into a vat of pig swill

A travelling salesman called JIm
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Douglas
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A travelling salesman called Jim
Would exercise in the gym
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waiting4atickle
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A travelling salesman called Jim
Would exercise in the gym
In his black leotard

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Douglas
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A travelling salesman called Jim
Would exercise in the gym
In his black leotard
He looked quite a card
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dai Cottomy
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A travelling salesman called Jim
Would exercise in the gym
In his black leotard
He looked quite a card
All the girls said: "I don't 'arf fancy 'im.

Today it is sweltering hot





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Douglas
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Today it is sweltering hot
But I slaved all the day at the pot
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waiting4atickle
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Today it is sweltering hot
But I slaved all the day at the pot
It made little sense

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dai Cottomy
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Today it is sweltering hot
But I slaved all the day at the pot
It made little sense
And made me feel tense
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Douglas
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Today it is sweltering hot
But I slaved all the day at the pot
It made little sense
And made me feel tense
Then I thought of the money I got.

But today the temperature's cool
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