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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,824 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 · Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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Douglas
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The was an old carthorse called Fred
Who lived in a tumbledown shed
The thought of the knacker's
Drove the beast crackers
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dai Cottomy
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The was an old carthorse called Fred
Who lived in a tumbledown shed
The thought of the knacker's
Drove the beast crackers
So he packed his suitcase and fled


A strapping young lad from Penzance
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Douglas
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A strapping young lad from Penzance
Set out on a quest for romance
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waiting4atickle
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A strapping young lad from Penzance
Set out on a quest for romance
On his way to St Ives

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dai Cottomy
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A strapping young lad from Penzance
Set out on a quest for romance
On his way to St Ives
He met some midwives
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Douglas
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A strapping young lad from Penzance
Set out on a quest for romance
On his way to St Ives
He met some midwives
Who rebuffed him with cries of "No chance."

On a bright summer morning in May
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waiting4atickle
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On a bright summer morning in May
I was having a roll in the hay

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Douglas
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On a bright summer morning in May
I was having a roll in the hay
When to my surprise
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Caro

On a bright summer morning in May
I was having a roll in the hay
When to my surprise
I looked up to the skies [I was tempted by, "My dick failed to rise" but I resisted that. :unsure: ]
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waiting4atickle
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On a bright summer morning in May
I was having a roll in the hay
When to my surprise
My Dick failed to rise
So I left him there where he lay.


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dai Cottomy
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et puis après?
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waiting4atickle
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That was just an aside, dai.

On a bright summer morning in May
I was having a roll in the hay
When to my surprise
I looked up to the skies
And saw they were cloudy and grey.


There was a young farmhand called Luke

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dai Cottomy
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There was a young farmhand called Luke
Whose body odour made people puke
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Caro

There was a young farmhand called Luke
Whose body odour made people puke
They turned up their noses
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Douglas
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There was a young farmhand called Luke
Whose body odour made people puke
They turned up their noses,
Took snuff in great doses
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young farmhand called Luke
Whose body odour made people puke
They turned up their noses,
Took snuff in great doses
And gave him a severe rebuke

A playful young barmaid from Cheam
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Douglas
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A playful young barmaid from Cheam
Was dating the whole of the team
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dai Cottomy
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A playful young barmaid from Cheam
Was dating the whole of the team
They drew lots to decide
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Douglas
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A playful young barmaid from Cheam
Was dating the whole of the team
They drew lots to decide
Which one of the side
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Caro

A playful young barmaid from Cheam
Was dating the whole of the team
They drew lots to decide
Which one of the side
Would get to live out his dream.

The local elections begin
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Douglas
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The local elections begin.
They decide which ones will get in
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waiting4atickle
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The local elections begin.
They decide which ones will get in
But most people yawn

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Douglas
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The local elections begin.
They decide which ones will get in
But most people yawn
For it never does dawn
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waiting4atickle
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The local elections begin.
They decide which ones will get in
But most people yawn
For it never does dawn
On them that they drink too much gin.


There was a young woman from Woking





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Caro

There was a young woman from Woking
Whose forte was forever joking
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young woman from Woking
Whose forte was forever joking
Her idea of a jest
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Douglas
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There was a young woman from Woking
Whose forte was forever joking
Her idea of a jest
Made her such a pest
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waiting4atickle
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There was a young woman from Woking
Whose forte was forever joking
Her idea of a jest
Made her such a pest
People often gave her a soaking.


The Equinox is coming soon

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Douglas
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The Equinox is coming soon
But it's nothing to do with the moon
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Mobson
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The Equinox is coming soon
But it's nothing to do with the moon
Latin for equal night
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Douglas
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The Equinox is coming soon
But it's nothing to do with the moon
Latin for equal night
Coming soon? It's tonight.
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waiting4atickle
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The Equinox is coming soon
But it's nothing to do with the moon
Latin for equal night
Coming soon? It's tonight.
And for Caro it will be a boon.


It seems like the world's going crazy

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Douglas
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It seems like the world's going crazy.
My view of it now seems so hazy
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waiting4atickle
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It seems like the world's going crazy.
My view of it now seems so hazy
It needs a good shake

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Douglas
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It seems like the world's going crazy.
My view of it now seems so hazy
It needs a good shake
Before we can make
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May-Cee

It seems like the world's going crazy
My view of it now seems so hazy
It needs a good shake
Before we can make
A come-back for Haysi Fantayzee



Since we're talking about '80s pop
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Douglas
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Since we're talking about '80s pop
(Some never know when to stop)
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waiting4atickle
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Since we're talking about '80s pop
(Some never know when to stop)
Let's have a Buck's Fizz

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Douglas
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Since we're talking about '80s pop
(Some never know when to stop)
Let's have a Buck's Fizz
Then go out with Liz
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May-Cee

Since we're talking about '80s pop
(Some never know when to stop)
Let's have a Buck's Fizz
Then go out with Liz
To the '50s and meet "At The Hop"



Saw a preview of "The Girl On The Train"
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Douglas
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Saw a preview of "The Girl On The Train"
Then they showed it again and again
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waiting4atickle
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Saw a preview of "The Girl On The Train"
Then they showed it again and again
When we came to the station

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Douglas
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Saw a preview of "The Girl On The Train"
Then they showed it again and again
When we came to the station
I felt such deflation
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May-Cee

Saw a preview of "The Girl On The Train"
Then they showed it again and again
When we came to the station
I felt such deflation
The book is poor and the fillum's a strain


It's nice to be back by Croke Park
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rumbaba
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It's nice to be back by Croke Park
And to wander around in the dark

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Douglas
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It's nice to be back by Croke Park
And to wander around in the dark
But on a match day
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waiting4atickle
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It's nice to be back by Croke Park
And to wander around in the dark
But on a match day
When I hear the crowd bay

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Caro

It's nice to be back by Croke Park
And to wander around in the dark
But on a match day
When I hear the crowd bay
I just want to make my own mark.

It's odd the things you don't know [I had never heard of Croke Park, but I see it's the third largest stadium in Europe]
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Mobson
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It's the odd things you don't know
Whether a true fact or faux
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Douglas
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It's the odd things you don't know
Whether a true fact or faux
But it's always the same
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May-Cee

It's the odd things you don't know
Whether a true fact or faux
But it's always the same
It's the name of the game




(Off to Croke Park in a wee while for the Ladies All-Ireland Football Final.
Dublin v Cork, third year in a row.)
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dai Cottomy
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It's the odd things you don't know
Whether a true fact or faux
But it's always the same
It's the name of the game
You've got to put on a good show


My Dad often said: "Listen, son"...
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waiting4atickle
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My Dad often said: "Listen, son"...
"Life's pointless, when all's said and done"

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dai Cottomy
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My Dad often said: "Listen, son"...
"Life's pointless, when all's said and done"
"That's rubbish, I said"
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Douglas
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My Dad often said: "Listen, son"...
"Life's pointless, when all's said and done"
"That's rubbish, I said"
And went back to bed
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Caro

My Dad often said: "Listen, son"...
"Life's pointless, when all's said and done."
"That's rubbish," I said
And went back to bed
That argument I surely had won.

But when I finally arose
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Douglas
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But when I finally arose
With a cold in my nose
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dai Cottomy
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But when I finally arose
With a cold in my nose
I thought "blimey, he's right"
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Douglas
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But when I finally arose
With a cold in my nose
I thought "blimey, he's right"
i don't want a fight
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dai Cottomy
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But when I finally arose
With a cold in my nose
I thought "blimey, he's right"
i don't want a fight
So I left home on my tiptoes

A taxicab driver called Able
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dai Cottomy
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:$
Edited by dai Cottomy, Sep 26 2016, 02:15 PM.
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Douglas
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A taxicab driver called Able
Loved to get his feet under the table
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May-Cee

A taxicab driver called Able
Loved to get his feet under the table
He was fond of the fillum by Scorsese
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Douglas
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A taxicab driver called Able
Loved to get his feet under the table
He was fond of the fillum by Scorsese
Finding it showed him the ways he
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May-Cee

A taxicab driver called Able
Loved to get his feet under the table
He was fond of the fillum by Scorsese
Finding it showed him the ways he
Should get back to being more stable


(In a rush at work, I messed up the scan of line three.)



I bought a budgie for a bit of a lark
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dai Cottomy
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I bought a budgie for a bit of a lark
After a while, swapped it for a shark
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Douglas
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I bought a budgie for a bit of a lark
After a while, swapped it for a shark
Which I sold to Damian Hirst
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waiting4atickle
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I bought a budgie for a bit of a lark
After a while, swapped it for a shark
Which I sold to Damian Hirst
For a year's supply of bratwurst


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Douglas
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I bought a budgie for a bit of a lark
After a while, swapped it for a shark
Which I sold to Damian Hirst
For a year's supply of bratwurst
Which I kept in a hut in the park.

There was a young fellow from Kent
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Caro

There was a young fellow from Kent
Whose friends had to guess what he meant
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Douglas
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There was a young fellow from Kent
Whose friends had to guess what he meant
His words were obtuse
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young fellow from Kent
Whose friends had to guess what he meant
His words were obtuse
And long out of use
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Douglas
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There was a young fellow from Kent
Whose friends had to guess what he meant
His words were obtuse
And long out of use
Which threw them quite off the scent.

There was an old fellow from Brum



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dai Cottomy
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There was an old fellow from Brum
Who had a bird tattooed on his tum
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May-Cee

There was an old fellow from Brum
Who had a bird tattooed on his tum
He had asked for an eagle
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Douglas
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There was an old fellow from Brum
Who had a bird tattooed on his tum
He had asked for an eagle
But they gave him a sea gull
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May-Cee

There was an old fellow from Brum
Who had a bird tattooed on his tum
He had asked for an eagle
But they gave him a sea gull
So it's back to square one with with his bum


For my sins I support Crystal Palace
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waiting4atickle
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For my sins I support Crystal Palace
That sounds like a poisoned chalice

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Douglas
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For my sins I support Crystal Palace
That sounds like a poisoned chalice.
I'm living in dread
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May-Cee

For my sins I support Crystal Palace
That sounds like a poisoned chalice
I'm living in dread
Benteke gets red
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Douglas
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For my sins I support Crystal Palace
That sounds like a poisoned chalice
I'm living in dread
Benteke gets red
From a referee driven by malice.

Whatever your favourite team
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May-Cee

Whatever your favourite team
It's football, not tennis, no cream
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waiting4atickle
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Whatever your favourite team
It's football, not tennis, no cream
But it's still a racket

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Douglas
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Whatever your favourite team
It's football, not tennis, no cream
But it's still a racket.
You'll never crack it
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waiting4atickle
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Whatever your favourite team
It's football, not tennis, no cream
But it's still a racket.
You'll never crack it
I keep thinking it's all a bad dream.


We need a new manager now!

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Douglas
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We need a new manager now!
But as for finding one, how
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waiting4atickle
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We need a new manager now!
But as for finding one, how
On earth is it done?

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Douglas
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We need a new manager now!
But as for finding one, how
On earth is it done?
Well it isn't much fun
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May-Cee

We need a new manager now!
But as for finding one, how
On earth is it done?
Well it isn't much fun
Being Irish, I think it's a wow!!!




I'm sorry if that sounded rude
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Douglas
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I'm sorry if that sounded rude.
I hope I'm not misunderstood
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May-Cee

I'm sorry if that sounded rude
I hope I'm not misunderstood
I'm usually quite shy
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Douglas
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I'm sorry if that sounded rude
I hope I'm not misunderstood
I'm usually quite shy
But I'll give it a try
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May-Cee

I'm sorry if that sounded rude
I hope I'm not misunderstood
I'm usually quite shy
But I'll give it a try
Maybe topless but not fully nude*


Invitation to supper but it's meat



(* Prices available on request; credit cards accepted.)
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Douglas
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Invitation to supper but it's meat.
However, that is what we all eat
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May-Cee

Invitation to supper but it's meat
However, that is what we all eat
Speak for yourself
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Douglas
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Invitation to supper but it's meat
However, that is what we all eat
Speak for yourself
It's there on the shelf
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May-Cee

Invitation to supper but it's meat
However, that is what we all eat
Speak for yourself
It's there on the shelf
Would a steak make me look less petite?


Out my window I see green, white and gold
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Caro

Out my window I see green, white and gold
They're all colours that speak of the cold
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May-Cee

Out my window I see green, white and gold
They're all colours that speak of the cold
It's the National flag
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Caro

Out my window I see green, white and gold
They're all colours that speak of the cold
It's the National flag
Of which I brag
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