| Limericks | |
|---|---|
| Tweet Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,823 Views) | |
| caissier | Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM Post #1 |
|
Administrator
|
waiting4atickle Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 · Post #3467 Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011 There was an old hero called Ajax who certainly lived life to the max His fighting was mythic His muscles terrythic From the years he'd spent building haystacks. Now they're gunning for poor old Brock Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Replies: | |
|---|---|
| May-Cee | Oct 7 2016, 09:22 PM Post #2701 |
|
Out my window I see green, white and gold They're all colours that speak of the cold It's the National flag Of which I brag A wee bit too much so I'm told I think this will be my last post |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 7 2016, 11:01 PM Post #2702 |
|
I think this will be my last post Said Jasper the Douche Bag ghost Edited by Mobson, Oct 7 2016, 11:02 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 8 2016, 01:09 AM Post #2703 |
|
I think this will be my last post Said Jasper the Douche Bog ghost I was in a bad mood |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 8 2016, 01:23 AM Post #2704 |
|
Ooops - start again. I think this will be my last post Said Jasper the Douche Bag ghost I was in a bad mood |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 8 2016, 01:54 AM Post #2705 |
|
I think this will be my last post Said Jasper the Douche Bag ghost I was in a bad mood So I sat and I stewed |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 8 2016, 02:21 PM Post #2706 |
|
I think this will be my last post Said Jasper the Douche Bag ghost I was in a bad mood So I sat and stewed Solved the problem with some nice tea and toast The awkward sister tomorrow for lunch |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 8 2016, 06:33 PM Post #2707 |
|
The awkward sister tomorrow for lunch When she goes, she's like "jellied eels!, thanks a bunch" Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 8 2016, 06:36 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 8 2016, 07:31 PM Post #2708 |
|
The awkward sister tomorrow for lunch When she goes, she's like "jellied eels!, thanks a bunch" I sound a bit catty |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 8 2016, 08:13 PM Post #2709 |
|
The awkward sister tomorrow for lunch When she goes, she's like "jellied eels!, thanks a bunch" I sound a bit catty She seems a bit batty Edited by Caro, Oct 8 2016, 08:13 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 8 2016, 09:10 PM Post #2710 |
|
The awkward sister tomorrow for lunch When she goes, she's like "jellied eels!, thanks a bunch" I sound a bit catty She seems a bit batty But she's family when it comes to the crunch. I'm feeling replete after dinner |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 8 2016, 10:45 PM Post #2711 |
|
I'm feeling replete after dinner Scotch Broth is always a winner |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 9 2016, 03:33 PM Post #2712 |
|
I'm feeling replete after dinner Scotch Broth is always a winner But the leg of mutton |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 9 2016, 08:57 PM Post #2713 |
|
I'm feeling replete after dinner Scotch Broth is always a winner But the leg of mutton Makes me a glutton |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 9 2016, 10:32 PM Post #2714 |
|
I'm feeling replete after dinner Scotch Broth is always a winner But the leg of mutton Makes me a glutton In fact, I'm a terrible sinner. Near Colchester, one sunny day |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 10 2016, 02:26 PM Post #2715 |
|
Near Colchester, one sunny day I happened to see an affray |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 11 2016, 11:54 AM Post #2716 |
|
Near Colchester, one sunny day I happened to see an affray A man and his brother |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 11 2016, 02:22 PM Post #2717 |
|
Near Colchester, one sunny day I happened to see an affray A man and his brother Had to run for cover |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 11 2016, 04:57 PM Post #2718 |
|
Near Colchester, one sunny day I happened to see an affray A man and his brother Had to run for cover From a bull that had got clean away |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 11 2016, 04:58 PM Post #2719 |
|
My canapés defy convention |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 11 2016, 06:49 PM Post #2720 |
|
My canapés defy convention. They are my unique invention |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 11 2016, 10:35 PM Post #2721 |
|
My canapés defy convention. They are my unique invention They combine sweet and sour |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 11 2016, 11:39 PM Post #2722 |
|
My canapés defy convention. They are my unique invention They combine sweet and sour And give me the power |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 12 2016, 12:50 AM Post #2723 |
|
My canapés defy convention. They are my unique invention They combine sweet and sour And give me the power Which is my very intention! |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 12 2016, 12:54 AM Post #2724 |
|
Meringues can be tricky to master |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 12 2016, 08:36 AM Post #2725 |
|
Meringues can be tricky to master Especially when made out of plaster |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 12 2016, 10:00 AM Post #2726 |
|
Meringues can be tricky to master Especially when made out of plaster If you bite those, you'll know |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 12 2016, 12:47 PM Post #2727 |
|
( I gather it is rude not to give someone else a turn, but I can't resist this.) Meringues can be tricky to master Especially when made out of plaster If you bite those, you'll know That they're only for show And you'll suffer a dental disaster. If anyone cares to dissent |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 12 2016, 01:18 PM Post #2728 |
|
If anyone cares to dissent you're forgiven because you're a gent Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 12 2016, 01:23 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 12 2016, 10:53 PM Post #2729 |
|
so glad you got carried away with 'my meringues' Douglas If anyone cares to dissent you're forgiven because you're a Gent The Old School I'll be bound |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 12 2016, 11:39 PM Post #2730 |
|
If anyone cares to dissent You're forgiven because you're a Gent The Old School I'll be bound With your judgement so sound |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 13 2016, 12:30 AM Post #2731 |
|
If anyone cares to dissent You're forgiven because you're a Gent The Old School I'll be bound With your judgement I'll be bound My endorsement as a sister Celt Being Irish, who cares about rhyme |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 13 2016, 12:41 AM Post #2732 |
|
Ooops! Try again! If anyone cares to dissent You're forgiven because you're a Gent The Old School I'll be bound With your judgement so sound My endorsement as a sister Celt Being Irish, who cares about rhyme |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 13 2016, 01:20 AM Post #2733 |
![]()
|
Being Irish, who cares about rhyme We've got Guinness and Murphy's and Beamish |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 13 2016, 05:12 AM Post #2734 |
|
Being Irish, who cares about rhyme We've got Guinness and Murphy's and Beamish I'll add this line now |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 13 2016, 10:08 AM Post #2735 |
|
Being Irish, who cares about rhyme We've got Guinness and Murphy's and Beamish I'll add this line now For I can't tell how |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 13 2016, 11:05 AM Post #2736 |
|
Being Irish, who cares about rhyme We've got Guinness and Murphy's and Beamish I'll add this line now For I can't tell how All this is making me feel squeamish The Limerick's not like a sonnet |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 13 2016, 12:06 PM Post #2737 |
|
The Limerick's not like a sonnet It's within the rules to con it |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 13 2016, 12:36 PM Post #2738 |
|
The Limerick's not like a sonnet It's within the rules to con it They're sometimes obscene |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 13 2016, 02:46 PM Post #2739 |
|
The Limerick's not like a sonnet It's within the rules to con it They're sometimes obscene Yet can be quite clean |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 14 2016, 12:20 AM Post #2740 |
![]()
|
The Limerick's not like a sonnet It's within the rules to con it They're sometimes obscene Yet can be quite clean In which case you'll wish you'd foregone it. I'm reminded of the classic... The limerick is furtive and mean; You must keep her in close quarantine, Or she sneaks to the slums And promptly becomes Disorderly, drunk, and obscene. A candidate, out on the stump, |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 14 2016, 04:02 AM Post #2741 |
|
A candidate, out on the stump Landed an opponent a thump |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 14 2016, 10:38 AM Post #2742 |
|
A candidate, out on the stump Landed an opponent a thump. He fell on his face |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 14 2016, 11:34 AM Post #2743 |
|
A candidate, out on the stump Landed an opponent a thump. He fell on his face Much to his disgrace Edited by Mobson, Oct 14 2016, 11:35 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 14 2016, 12:07 PM Post #2744 |
|
A candidate, out on the stump Landed an opponent a thump. He fell on his face Much to his disgrace And to his dismay, heard the last trump There once was a sailor called Abel Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 14 2016, 12:14 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 14 2016, 01:12 PM Post #2745 |
|
There once was a sailor called Abel Who courted a lassie called Mabel |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 14 2016, 08:05 PM Post #2746 |
![]()
|
There once was a sailor called Abel Who courted a lassie called Mabel He offered her rum |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 15 2016, 12:23 AM Post #2747 |
|
There once was a sailor called Abel Who courted a lassie called Mabel He offered her rum And a glimpse of his tum |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 15 2016, 11:33 AM Post #2748 |
|
There once was a sailor called Abel Who courted a lassie called Mabel He offered her rum And a glimpse of his tum As he danced on the chart-room table. An upper-class toff from Harrow |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 15 2016, 02:39 PM Post #2749 |
|
An upper-class toff from Harrow Wed a working-class lass from Jarrow |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 15 2016, 03:34 PM Post #2750 |
|
An upper-class toff from Harrow Wed a working-class lass from Jarrow They had a son called Pete |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 15 2016, 03:47 PM Post #2751 |
|
An upper-class toff from Harrow Wed a working-class lass from Jarrow They had a son called Pete Who was somewhat effete |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 15 2016, 06:59 PM Post #2752 |
|
An upper-class toff from Harrow Wed a working-class lass from Jarrow They had a son called Pete Who was somewhat effete But sexually as straight as an arrow I see it's Cyber Security Month |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 15 2016, 09:19 PM Post #2753 |
![]()
|
I see it's Cyber Security Month But I can't make a rhyme, I'm a dunce |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 15 2016, 09:31 PM Post #2754 |
|
I see it's Cyber Security Month But I can't make a rhyme, I'm a dunce But the thought of these hackers |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 15 2016, 10:04 PM Post #2755 |
|
I see it's Cyber Security Month But I can't make a rhyme, I'm a dunce But the thought of these hackers Make me quite crackers |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 16 2016, 01:27 AM Post #2756 |
|
I see it's Cyber Security Month But I can't make a rhyme, I'm a dunce But the thought of these hackers Make me quite crackers And I lithp when I try to thay 'onthe' Some people have very strange habits |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 16 2016, 01:33 AM Post #2757 |
|
Some people have very strange habits. They fuss over hamsters and rabbits |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 16 2016, 05:19 PM Post #2758 |
|
Some people have very strange habits They fuss over hamsters and rabbits Ach sure it's harmless fun |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 16 2016, 08:27 PM Post #2759 |
|
Some people have very strange habits They fuss over hamsters and rabbits Ach sure it's harmless fun But it doesn't suit evryune |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 17 2016, 01:19 AM Post #2760 |
|
Some people have very strange habits They fuss over hamsters and rabbits Ach sure it's harmless fun But it doesn't suit everyone Who like to play with strange gadgets |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 17 2016, 01:22 AM Post #2761 |
|
I'm making a Halloween costume |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 17 2016, 10:59 AM Post #2762 |
|
I'm making a Halloween costume With an ever so exciting perfume |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 17 2016, 11:02 PM Post #2763 |
|
I'm making a Halloween costume With an ever so exciting perfume I like both mask and musk |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 17 2016, 11:45 PM Post #2764 |
|
I'm making a Halloween costume With an ever so exciting perfume I like both mask and musk When I creep out at dusk |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 18 2016, 02:08 AM Post #2765 |
|
I'm making a Halloween costume With an ever so exciting perfume I like both mask and musk When I creep out at dusk A vampiric creature to assume...😈👻🙀 Edited by Mobson, Oct 18 2016, 02:10 AM.
|
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 18 2016, 02:12 AM Post #2766 |
|
The Olympians are coming to Town |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 18 2016, 09:48 PM Post #2767 |
|
The Olympians are coming to Town They come in all colours - black, white and brown |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 18 2016, 10:28 PM Post #2768 |
![]()
|
The Olympians are coming to Town They come in all colours - black, white and brown But their favourite is gold |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 19 2016, 01:20 AM Post #2769 |
|
The Olympians are coming to Town They come in all colours - black, white and brown But their favourite is gold (We don't need to be told) |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 20 2016, 08:21 PM Post #2770 |
|
The Olympians are coming to Town They come in all colours - black, white and brown But their favourite is gold (We don't need to be told) No need to dress up, it's sport, so dress down... |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 20 2016, 08:26 PM Post #2771 |
|
Calm down it's just a gorilla
Edited by Mobson, Oct 20 2016, 08:29 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 20 2016, 10:39 PM Post #2772 |
|
Calm down it's just a gorilla And it's far, far away in Manila |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 20 2016, 10:55 PM Post #2773 |
|
Calm down it's just a gorilla And it's far, far away in Manila But it's big, and it's bad |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 20 2016, 11:01 PM Post #2774 |
|
Calm down it's just a gorilla And it's far, far away in Manila But it's big, and it's bad So I'm ever so glad |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 21 2016, 02:17 AM Post #2775 |
|
Calm down it's just a gorilla And it's far, far away in Manila But it's big, and it's bad So I'm ever so glad That I'm flying to Anguilla There once was a bell ringer from Bow |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 21 2016, 10:03 AM Post #2776 |
|
There once was a bell ringer from Bow Whose morals were ever so low |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 21 2016, 12:06 PM Post #2777 |
|
There once was a bell ringer from Bow Whose morals were ever so low His favourite motto Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 21 2016, 12:08 PM.
|
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 21 2016, 12:13 PM Post #2778 |
|
There once was a bell ringer from Bow Whose morals were ever so low His favourite motto Was "Never get blotto" |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 21 2016, 01:58 PM Post #2779 |
|
There once was a bell ringer from Bow Whose morals were ever so low His favourite motto Was "Never get blotto" "Or lose your account in Savile Row" Guess what, my new house number is One |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 21 2016, 02:06 PM Post #2780 |
|
Guess what, my new house number is One It's a venue for laughter and fun |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 21 2016, 03:20 PM Post #2781 |
|
Guess what, my new house number is One It's a venue for laughter and fun The packing's a chore |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 21 2016, 04:30 PM Post #2782 |
|
Guess what, my new house number is One It's a venue for laughter and fun The packing's a chore In fact, it's a bore |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 21 2016, 07:31 PM Post #2783 |
|
Guess what, my new house number is One It's a venue for laughter and fun The packing's a chore In fact, it's a bore At my age, last ever move, I'm done When I move in, it's the last of the smokes |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 22 2016, 12:13 AM Post #2784 |
![]()
|
When I move in, it's the last of the smokes No, really, I mean it, 'sno hoax |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 22 2016, 08:02 AM Post #2785 |
|
When I move in, it's the last of the smokes No, really, I mean it, 'sno hoax I'll start chewing gum |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 22 2016, 12:54 PM Post #2786 |
|
When I move in, it's the last of the smokes No, really, I mean it, 'sno hoax I'll start chewing gum Or drink medicinal rum |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 22 2016, 02:02 PM Post #2787 |
|
When I move in, it's the last of the smokes No, really, I mean it, 'sno hoax I'll start chewing gum Or drink medicinal rum When mixed with occasional Cokes. When I first got the key of its door, |
![]() |
|
| dai Cottomy | Oct 22 2016, 02:56 PM Post #2788 |
|
When I first got the key of its door, I'm talking Room Five Hundred and Four |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 22 2016, 05:45 PM Post #2789 |
|
When I first got the key of its door, I'm talking Room Five Hundred and Four It was a coming of age |
![]() |
|
| Caro | Oct 23 2016, 02:57 AM Post #2790 |
|
When I first got the key of its door, I'm talking Room Five Hundred and Four It was a coming of age A truly new page |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 23 2016, 11:22 AM Post #2791 |
|
When I first got the key of its door, I'm talking Room Five Hundred and Four It was a coming of age A truly new page But I'm not going to tell any more. There was a young lass from Dunoon |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 23 2016, 12:53 PM Post #2792 |
![]()
|
There was a young lass from Dunoon Who wanted to go to the moon |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 23 2016, 01:19 PM Post #2793 |
|
There was a young lass from Dunoon Who wanted to go to the moon But 'twas much too far |
![]() |
|
| May-Cee | Oct 23 2016, 02:02 PM Post #2794 |
|
There was a young lass from Dunoon Who wanted to go to the moon But 'twas much too far Even a DeLorean car |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 23 2016, 04:06 PM Post #2795 |
|
There was a young lass from Dunoon Who wanted to go to the moon But 'twas much too far Even a DeLorean car So she had to settle for Troon. She met a young fellow in Troon |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 23 2016, 04:59 PM Post #2796 |
![]()
|
She met a young fellow in Troon Who said he would give her the moon |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 23 2016, 05:03 PM Post #2797 |
|
She met a young fellow in Troon Who said he would give her the moon But he took her to Ayr |
![]() |
|
| waiting4atickle | Oct 23 2016, 05:17 PM Post #2798 |
![]()
|
She met a young fellow in Troon Who said he would give her the moon But he took her to Ayr And abandoned her there |
![]() |
|
| Douglas | Oct 23 2016, 08:00 PM Post #2799 |
|
She met a young fellow in Troon Who said he would give her the moon But he took her to Ayr And abandoned her there So she drowned herself in the Doon There was a young lad from Dalmilling |
![]() |
|
| Mobson | Oct 24 2016, 08:38 AM Post #2800 |
|
There was a young lad from Dalmilling Who had a penchant for killing |
![]() |
|
| 1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous) | |
| Go to Next Page | |
| « Previous Topic · Mornington Crescent · Next Topic » |








7:06 AM Jul 13