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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,822 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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Douglas
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There was a young lad from Dalmilling
Who had a penchant for killing
He started on mice
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May-Cee

There was a young lad from Dalmilling
Who had a penchant for killing
He started on mice
Got a taste for the vice
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waiting4atickle
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There was a young lad from Dalmilling
Who had a penchant for killing
He started on mice
Got a taste for the vice
Thus began a career truly chilling.


A retired tailor from Mitcham

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Douglas
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A retired tailor from Mitcham
Had never forgot how to stitch 'em
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Caro

A retired tailor from Mitcham
Had never forgot how to stitch 'em
She began on a suit
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May-Cee

A retired tailor from Mitcham
Had never forgot how to stitch 'em
She began on a suit
Cashmere, it's a beaut
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dai Cottomy
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A retired tailor from Mitcham
Had never forgot how to stitch 'em
She began on a suit
Cashmere, it's a beaut
They fell apart so she had to ditch 'em

There once was a truck driver from Bicester
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Mobson
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There once was a truck driver from Bicester
Who almost went & married his sister





....ahhh now I have relatives in Bicester who I used to stay with as a child - locally they call it Bister ...not Bi-cester!
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waiting4atickle
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There once was a truck driver from Bicester
Who almost went & married his sister
She was quite a stunner


(I'm not liking the rhythm here.)

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Mobson
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I've seen worse! <wink> ...I've amended my line!

There once was a truck driver from Bicester
Who almost married his sister
She was quite a stunner
And an excellent runner
Edited by Mobson, Oct 26 2016, 12:33 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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There once was a truck driver from Bicester
Who almost married his sister
She was quite a stunner
And an excellent runner
She ran like a hare when he kissed her

Two sisters went out on the spree

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May-Cee

Two sisters went out on the spree
Hot-diggety and full of glee
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May-Cee

Two sisters went out on the spree
Hot-diggety and full of glee
They got their come-uppance
When short of a tuppence
Sinead's to the right, on the left that's me


Sorry, dai! Brought back a true memory and couldn't resist!


Two brothers went out on the lash
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Caro

Two brothers went out on the lash
They didn't take quite enough cash
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dai Cottomy
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Two brothers went out on the lash
They didn't take quite enough cash
Those sisters came by
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Mobson
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Two brothers went out on the lash
They didn't take quite enough cash
Those sisters came by
And gave them the eye ๐Ÿ‘
Edited by Mobson, Oct 27 2016, 08:13 AM.
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May-Cee

Two brothers went out on the lash
They didn't take quite enough cash
Those sisters came by
And gave them the eye
Despite what I've said, I'm not trash!


In Dublin today, a lovely blue sky
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dai Cottomy
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In Dublin today, a lovely blue sky
But the falling leaves elicit a sigh
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May-Cee

In Dublin today, a lovely blue sky
But the falling leaves elicit a sigh
It's the time of the year
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dai Cottomy
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In Dublin today, a lovely blue sky
But the falling leaves elicit a sigh
It's the time of the year
When we need some cheer
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Mobson
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In Dublin today, a lovely blue sky
But the falling leaves elicit a sigh
It's the time of the year
When we need some cheer
As to the Autumn we say goodbye
Edited by Mobson, Oct 29 2016, 04:21 PM.
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Mobson
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*Hallo Halloween, so what larks this year?







(*I've spelt it that way!)
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May-Cee

Hallo Halloween, so what larks this year?
A very posh costume - cashmere
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Mobson
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Hallo Halloween, so what larks this year?
A very posh costume - cashmere
A red-lipped vampira
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May-Cee

Hallo Halloween, so what larks this year?
A very posh costume - cashmere
A red-lipped vampira
The boys will leer her
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dai Cottomy
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Hallo Halloween, so what larks this year?
A very posh costume - cashmere
A red-lipped vampira
The boys will leer her
Guy Fawkes? He's so passรฉ, my dear

The question is shall I trick or treat?

Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 30 2016, 11:12 AM.
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May-Cee

The question is shall I trick or treat?
It kinda depends on your street
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dai Cottomy
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The question is shall I trick or treat?
It kinda depends on your street
When they ring the doorbell
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May-Cee

The question is shall I trick or treat?
It kinda depends on your street
When they ring the doorbell
Do I say "Go to Hell"
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dai Cottomy
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The question is shall I trick or treat?
It kinda depends on your street
When they ring the doorbell
Do I say "Go to Hell"
Or say "come in and have something to eat"

Back go the clocks to GMT


Edited by dai Cottomy, Oct 30 2016, 05:10 PM.
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May-Cee

Back go the clocks to GMT
Didn't get much news on RTE
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dai Cottomy
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Back go the clocks to GMT
Didn't get much news on RTE
An extra hours sleep
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May-Cee

Back go the clocks to GMT
Didn't get much news on RTE
An extra hours sleep
Youse English lazy as sheep?
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dai Cottomy
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Back go the clocks to GMT
Didn't get much news on RTE
An extra hours sleep
Youse English lazy as sheep?
Don't knock it - sleep gives you beauty

I once had a girlfriend called Anna
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May-Cee

I once had a girlfriend called Anna
Alas, she was more fond of Hannah
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waiting4atickle
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I once had a girlfriend called Anna
Alas, she was more fond of Hannah
But a threesome is fun

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Mobson
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I once had a girlfriend called Anna
Alas, she was more fond of Hannah
But a threesome is fun
Better than two or one
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Douglas
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I once had a girlfriend called Anna
Alas, she was more fond of Hannah
But a threesome is fun
Better than two or one
And Anna can carry the banner.

There was a young lass from Dunaskin
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Mobson
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There was a young lass from Dunaskin
Who suddenly went awfully thin
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dai Cottomy
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There was a young lass from Dunaskin
Who suddenly went awfully thin
When asked why this was
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Douglas
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There was a young lass from Dunaskin
Who suddenly went awfully thin
When asked why this was
She said it was 'cause
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Mobson
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There was a young lass from Dunaskin
Who suddenly went awfully thin
When asked why this was
She said it was 'cause
She threw up her food in a bin...



She was diagnosed with anarexia nervosa
Edited by Mobson, Nov 8 2016, 07:14 AM.
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May-Cee

She was diagnosed with anarexia nervosa
One look and I coulda told ya
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waiting4atickle
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She was diagnosed with anarexia nervosa
One look and I coulda told ya
The poor girl was ill

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dai Cottomy
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She was diagnosed with anarexia nervosa
One look and I coulda told ya
The poor girl was ill
She swallowed a pill
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Caro

She was diagnosed with anarexia nervosa
One look and I coulda told ya
The poor girl was ill
She swallowed a pill
And saw her death come closer.

I hear Leo Cohen has died
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Mobson
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I hear Leo Cohen has died
Which made me all misty eyed
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waiting4atickle
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I hear Leo Cohen has died
Which made me all misty eyed
To lionise him


Leo?!

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Mobson
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waiting4atickle
Nov 11 2016, 05:27 PM
I hear Leo Cohen has died
Which made me all misty eyed
To lionise him

Leo?!
Yes ticks I thought that...sure he was never called Leo that was Leo Sayer...so let's change it - bet Caro won't mind!

I hear Leonard Cohen has died
Which made me all misty eyed
To lionise him
Would not be a sin
Edited by Mobson, Nov 16 2016, 07:06 AM.
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waiting4atickle
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That's all very well, Mobs, but you've ruined my pun.

I hear Leonard Cohen has died
Which made me all misty eyed
To lionise him
Would not be a sin
He deserves to be glorified.


When you're stuck in the Tower of Song

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Caro



[I don't mind at all. I knew he was never called Leo, but the rhythm didn't sound quite right with Leonard. They do both have two syllables, though.]

When you're stuck in the Tower of Song
And everything seems to go wrong
Edited by Caro, Nov 12 2016, 11:04 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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The ryhthm seems fine to me with Leonard.

When you're stuck in the Tower of Song
And everything seems to go wrong
Try singing the blues

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Douglas
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When you're stuck in the Tower of Song
And everything seems to go wrong
Try singing the blues
Or just have a snooze
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dai Cottomy
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When you're stuck in the Tower of Song
And everything seems to go wrong
Try singing the blues
Or just have a snooze
Having partaken of something strong


Certain people drink to forget
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Douglas
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Certain people drink to forget
And others when full of regret
Edited by Douglas, Nov 15 2016, 10:19 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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Certain people drink to forget
And others when full of regret
Me and my friend Kirsty
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Douglas
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Certain people drink to forget
And others when full of regret
Me and my friend Kirsty
We're always feeling thirsty
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dai Cottomy
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Certain people drink to forget
And others when full of regret
Me and my friend Kirsty
We're always feeling thirsty
So we down a pint then sing a duet

It will soon be Black Friday again



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May-Cee

It will soon be Black Friday again
Sure I can't stand shopping - migraine
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Douglas
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It will soon be Black Friday again
Sure I can't stand shopping - migraine
I'll have you to know
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Mobson
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It will soon be Black Friday again
Sure I can't stand shopping - migraine
I'll have you to know
To the Shops I won't go
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May-Cee

It will soon be Black Friday again
Sure I can't stand shopping - migraine
I'll have you to know
To the Shops I won't go
I'll send my trusted staff, Jill and Jane


My new house is coming along a treat
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Douglas
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My new house is coming along a treat
It'll soon be the best in the street
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May-Cee

My new house is coming along a treat
It'll soon be the best in the street
Will you be my first guest?
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Douglas
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My new house is coming along a treat
It'll soon be the best in the street
Will you be my first guest?
My cooking's the best
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dai Cottomy
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My new house is coming along a treat
It'll soon be the best in the street
Will you be my first guest?
My cooking's the best
When entering, please wipe your feet

It's not that I'm a fussy old stick
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Douglas
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It's not that I'm a fussy old stick
But there's some things that just make me sick
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May-Cee

It's not that I'm a fussy old stick
But there's some things that just make me sick
Gawd, youse'uns are grumpy!
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dai Cottomy
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It's not that I'm a fussy old stick
But there's some things that just make me sick
Gawd, youse'uns are grumpy
That's 'cos my bed's lumpy
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May-Cee

It's not that I'm a fussy old stick
But there's some things that just make me sick
Gawd, youse'ns are grumpy
That's 'cos my bed's lumpy
Okay, I'll tuck you in with a kiss and a lick



Now that I've got a garden, I've got me a cat
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Caro

Now that I've got a garden, I've got me a cat
We love, (s)he and I, a wee chat
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May-Cee

Now that I've got a garden, I've got me a cat
We love, she and I, a wee chat
Hi Caro, her name is China
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dai Cottomy
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Now that I've got a garden, I've got me a cat
We love, she and I, a wee chat
Hi Caro, her name is China
Alice's was Dinah
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May-Cee

Now that I've got a garden, I've got me a cat
We love, she and I, a wee chat
Hi Caro, her name is China
Alice's was Dinah
I hope she don't poo on the mat


It's incredibly cold around my way
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Caro

It's incredibly cold around my way.
Here too. The summer's yet to hold sway
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May-Cee

It's incredibly cold around my way
Here too. The summer's yet to hold sway
It's freezing in Dublin
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Douglas
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It's incredibly cold around my way
Here too. The summer's yet to hold sway
It's freezing in Dublin
Which I find very troublin'
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May-Cee

It's incredibly cold round my way
Here too. The summer's yet to hold sway
It's freezing in Dublin
Which I find very troublin'
Warm porridge for me, not Special K


The national day for our Scottish friends
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Douglas
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The national day for our Scottish friends.
How we choose to observe it depends
Edited by Douglas, Nov 30 2016, 08:19 PM.
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May-Cee

The national day for our Scottish friends.
How we choose to observe it depends
There might be a kilt
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Douglas
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The national day for our Scottish friends.
How we choose to observe it depends
There might be a kilt,
Your dram might get spilt
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waiting4atickle
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The national day for our Scottish friends.
How we choose to observe it depends
There might be a kilt,
Your dram might get spilt
It might be the weekend before it ends.


I've just been checking the geese

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dai Cottomy
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I've just been checking the geese
They've just flown in from Greece
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Douglas
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I've just been checking the geese
They've just flown in from Greece
Well, that's a surprise
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waiting4atickle
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I've just been checking the geese
They've just flown in from Greece
Well, that's a surprise
Do they not realize

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dai Cottomy
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I've just been checking the geese
They've just flown in from Greece
Well, that's a surprise
Do they not realize
That they'll end up as cartons of goose grease?


It's a tough old life being a vole

Edited by dai Cottomy, Dec 2 2016, 12:18 PM.
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Douglas
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It's a tough old life being a vole
But it's better than being a mole
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waiting4atickle
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It's a tough old life being a vole
But it's better than being a mole
You get more fresh air

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Douglas
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It's a tough old life being a vole
But it's better than being a mole
You get more fresh air
When you aren't down there
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dai Cottomy
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It's a tough old life being a vole
But it's better than being a mole
You get more fresh air
When you aren't down there
And you've time to refresh your soul


Us humans are clogging the land
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Douglas
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Us humans are clogging the land
Our numbers are quite ut of hand
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waiting4atickle
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Us humans are clogging the land
Our numbers are quite ut of hand
Is it time for a cull

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dai Cottomy
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Us humans are clogging the land
Our numbers are quite ut of hand
Is it time for a cull
Send them all up to Mull
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dai Cottomy
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oops - duplicate
Edited by dai Cottomy, Dec 4 2016, 12:43 AM.
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Douglas
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Us humans are clogging the land
Our numbers are quite out of hand
Is it time for a cull
Send them all up to Mull
I'm sure they'll find the scenery grand.

If you go to the Western Isles
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waiting4atickle
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If you go to the Western Isles
You may find yourself walking miles

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Douglas
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If you go to the Western Isles
You may find yourself walking miles
But there's plenty fresh air
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waiting4atickle
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If you go to the Western Isles
You may find yourself walking miles
But there's plenty fresh air
And whisky to spare

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dai Cottomy
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If you go to the Western Isles
You may find yourself walking miles
But there's plenty fresh air
And whisky to spare
Which bring forth numerous smiles

I must admit I dislike snow


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Douglas
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I must admit I dislike snow.
The reason why I do not know
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