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Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,848 Views)
caissier
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waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
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dai Cottomy
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It's a thin line twixt heaven and hell,
Or its skin and a hermit crab's shell
But some much finer lines
Without doubt redefines
Whether we should buy now, or sell.


Is money the root of all evil?
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waiting4atickle
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Is money the root of all evil?
Worse than that pesky boll weevil?

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dai Cottomy
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Is money the root of all evil?
Worse than that pesky boll weevil?
Or just the lack of it
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Norm Deplume
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Is money the root of all evil?
Worse than that pesky boll weevil?
We worry 'bout debt
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dai Cottomy
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Is money the root of all evil?
Worse than that pesky boll weevil?
We worry 'bout debt
And bills from the vet
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Norm Deplume
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Is money the root of all evil?
Worse than that pesky boll weevil?
We worry 'bout debt
And bills from the vet
But still go and watch Evil Knievil


'Twould be nice to come into some money
Edited by Norm Deplume, Oct 25 2012, 12:02 PM.
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Mobson
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'Twould be nice to come into some money
And then for sure I'd wanna be your honey
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Norm Deplume
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'Twould be nice to come into some money
And then for sure I'd wanna be your honey
Now, that would be nice
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waiting4atickle
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'Twould be nice to come into some money
And then for sure I'd wanna be your honey
Now, that would be nice
I could get you some ice

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dai Cottomy
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'Twould be nice to come into some money
And then for sure I'd wanna be your honey
Now, that would be nice
I could get you some ice
Very welcome when it's hot and sunny



I can't wait until Summer is here
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Norm Deplume
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I can't wait until Summer is here
Ice cream, bathing suits and cool beer
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waiting4atickle
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I can't wait until Summer is here
Ice cream, bathing suits and cool beer
Not to mention the cricket

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tafkaj

I can't wait until Summer is here
Ice cream, bathing suits and cool beer
Not to mention the cricket
And sunburn - I'll pick it -
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Norm Deplume
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I can't wait until Summer is here
Ice cream, bathing suits and cool beer
Not to mention the cricket
And sunburn - I'll pick it -
All that could ruin your carreer.


I once knew a man called Malachi




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dai Cottomy
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I once knew a man called Malachi
Who gave me a lovely black eye

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waiting4atickle
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I once knew a man called Malachi
Who gave me a lovely black eye
And another to match

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Norm Deplume
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once knew a man called Malachi
Who gave me a lovely black eye
And another to match
'Fore my cash he did snatch
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dai Cottomy
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once knew a man called Malachi
Who gave me a lovely black eye
And another to match
'Fore my cash he did snatch
Before sailing to the Island of Skye


I once had a life coach called Beauchamp
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tafkaj

I once had a life coach called Beauchamp
Who gathered his clients to teach 'em
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Mobson
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I once had a life coach called Beauchamp
Who gathered his clients to teach 'em
To organise priorities
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dai Cottomy
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I once had a life coach called Beauchamp
Who gathered his clients to teach 'em
To organise priorities
And recharge batteries
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Norm Deplume
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I once had a life coach called Beauchamp
Who gathered his clients to teach 'em
To organise priorities
And recharge batteries
'Beach' made the rules but they'd breauchamp



A nice Norfolk chap, name of Cholmondeley
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dai Cottomy
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A nice Norfolk chap, name of Cholmondeley
Whose daughter was exceedingly comely
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Norm Deplume
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A nice Norfolk chap, name of Cholmondeley
Whose daughter was exceedingly comely
Was full of delight
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waiting4atickle
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A nice Norfolk chap, name of Cholmondeley
Whose daughter was exceedingly comely
Was full of delight
When he came home one night

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Norm Deplume
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A nice Norfolk chap, name of Cholmondeley
Whose daughter was exceedingly comely
Was full of delight
When he came home one night
She was kissing her boyfriend, Ed Plolmondley



On a similar tack:-


My grandfather's lawyer called Featherstonehough
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waiting4atickle
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My grandfather's lawyer called Featherstonehough
Didn't know a hawk from a handsaw

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Norm Deplume
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My grandfather's lawyer called Featherstonehough
Didn't know a hawk from a handsaw
He called in a plumber
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Mobson
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My grandfather's lawyer called Featherstonehough
Didn't know a hawk from a handsaw
What a dim wit was he
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waiting4atickle
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My grandfather's lawyer called Featherstonehough
Didn't know a hawk from a handsaw
He called in a plumber
Instead of a drummer

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dai Cottomy
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My grandfather's lawyer called Featherstonehough
Didn't know a hawk from a handsaw
He called in a plumber
Instead of a drummer
He's losing his marbles, I'm damn sure


Lawyers are my current bรชte noir
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Norm Deplume
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Fault anihilated

Edited by Norm Deplume, Oct 30 2012, 02:47 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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Norm - <eh??>
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Norm Deplume
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Lawyers are my current bรชte noir
And they're coming from near and afar
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dai Cottomy
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Lawyers are my current bรชte noir
And they're coming from near and afar
With no win no fee offers
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waiting4atickle
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Lawyers are my current bรชte noir
And they're coming from near and afar
With no win no fee offers
To augment their coffers

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Norm Deplume
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Lawyers are my current bรชte noir
And they're coming from near and afar
With no win no fee offers
To augment their coffers
Makes one scared to go out in the car




My Irish friend's daughter called Niamh
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dai Cottomy
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My Irish friend's daughter called Niamh
Has a twin sister I believe
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Mobson
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My Irish friend's daughter called Niamh
Has a twin sister I believe
She's called Saoirse
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dai Cottomy
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My Irish friend's daughter called Niamh
Has a twin sister I believe
She's called Saoirse
Suffers from amnesia
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Norm Deplume
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My Irish friend's daughter called Niamh
Has a twin sister I believe
She's called Saoirse
Suffers from amnesia
And at times, a tangled web she'll wiamh




When it's night time in old Alabama
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Norm Deplume
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When it's night time in old Alabama
I have fun with my dear "Red-Hot-Mama
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waiting4atickle
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When it's night time in old Alabama
I have fun with my dear "Red-Hot-Mama"
Unlike Jimmy, so vile,

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Norm Deplume
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When it's night time in old Alabama
I have fun with my dear "Red-Hot-Mama"
Unlike Jimmy, so vile,
We "put-on-the-style"

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dai Cottomy
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When it's night time in old Alabama
I have fun with my dear "Red-Hot-Mama"
Unlike Jimmy, so vile,
We "put-on-the-style"
Just like President Barack Obama


His stock's risen with the victims of Sandy
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waiting4atickle
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His stock's risen with the victims of Sandy
I suppose that makes everything dandy

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Norm Deplume
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His stock's risen with the victims of Sandy
I suppose that makes everything dandy
His opponent s'called Mitt!!!
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dai Cottomy
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His stock's risen with the victims of Sandy
I suppose that makes everything dandy
His opponent s'called Mitt!!!
Who's a bit of a sh git
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Norm Deplume
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His stock's risen with the victims of Sandy
I suppose that makes everything dandy
His opponent s'called Mitt!!!
Who's a bit of a sh git
Not only that, the bloke's randy


It's Friday, I must get the shopping
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Mobson
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It's Friday, I must get the shopping
So off to the market I will be a'poppin
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Norm Deplume
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It's Friday, I must get the shopping
So off to the market I will be a'poppin
To get food for the week
...............................
......................................................
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Caro

It's Friday, I must get the shopping
So off to the market I will be a'poppin
To get food for the week
Meat, bread and a leek
......................................................
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waiting4atickle
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It's Friday, I must get the shopping
So off to the market I will be a'poppin
To get food for the week
Meat, bread and a leek
And a book about limericks and syllable-cropping.



Will the chads be hanging on Tuesday?

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tafkaj

Will the chads be hanging on Tuesday?
Let's face it, it's a "Vote You Must Use" day;
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Norm Deplume
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Will the chads be hanging on Tuesday?
Let's face it, it's a "Vote You Must Use" day;
The Reps or the Dems?
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dai Cottomy
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Will the chads be hanging on Tuesday?
Let's face it, it's a "Vote You Must Use" day;
The Reps or the Dems
Or other odd items
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Caro

Will the chads be hanging on Tuesday?
Let's face it, it's a "Vote You Must Use" day;
The Reps or the Dems
Or other odd items
Are desp'rate for people to sway.

Thank god I don't live in the States
---------------------------------
----------------
----------------
---------------------------------
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waiting4atickle
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Thank god I don't live in the States
With barbarians at the gates

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Mobson
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Thank god I don't live in the States
With barbarians at the gates
Who knows how they'll vote
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dai Cottomy
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Thank god I don't live in the States
With barbarians at the gates
Who knows how they'll vote
A lot tend to float
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Mobson
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Thank god I don't live in the States
With barbarians at the gates
Who knows how they'll vote
A lot tend to float
& stand by as the Loser berates
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Mobson
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So Barack gets a second chance
Edited by Mobson, Nov 7 2012, 11:40 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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So Barack gets a second chance
That's worth a song and a dance
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Mobson
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So Barack gets a second chance
That's worth a song and a dance
Four years to go Forward
Edited by Mobson, Nov 7 2012, 09:31 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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So Barack gets a second chance
That's worth a song and a dance
Four years to go Forward
And steer the ship shoreward


Edited by waiting4atickle, Nov 8 2012, 06:49 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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So Barack gets a second chance
That's worth a song and a dance
Four years to go Forward
And steer the ship shoreward
With fingers crossed and no backward glance


The Tea Party's in a state of shock

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waiting4atickle
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The Tea Party's in a state of shock
The Mad Hatter is running amok

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dai Cottomy
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The Tea Party's in a state of shock
The Mad Hatter is running amok
The March Hare threw a fit

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waiting4atickle
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The Tea Party's in a state of shock
The Mad Hatter is running amok
The March Hare threw a fit
And the dormouse got hit

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dai Cottomy
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The Tea Party's in a state of shock
The Mad Hatter is running amok
The March Hare threw a fit
And the dormouse got hit
And Alice got jam on her smock


They're changing guard at the White House
Edited by dai Cottomy, Nov 9 2012, 11:17 AM.
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Norm Deplume
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They're changing guard at the White House
Is that the big place near the lighthouse?
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dai Cottomy
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They're changing guard at the White House
Is that the big place near the lighthouse?
There are four oval rooms
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Norm Deplume
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They're changing guard at the White House
Is that the big place near the lighthouse?
There are four oval rooms
Flunkies dressed in costooms
Edited by Norm Deplume, Nov 9 2012, 03:55 PM.
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dai Cottomy
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They're changing guard at the White House
Is that the big place near the lighthouse?
There are four oval rooms
Flunkies dressed in costooms
And a band that plays melodies by Strauss


I'm extremely partial to sauerkraut
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Norm Deplume
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I'm extremely partial to sauerkraut
But it is not always easy to root out
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dai Cottomy
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I'm extremely partial to sauerkraut
But it is not always easy to root out
I can't get enough
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Norm Deplume
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'm extremely partial to sauerkraut
But it is not always easy to root out
I can't get enough
NO! Not with plum duff
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Mobson
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I'm extremely partial to sauerkraut
But it is not always easy to root out
I can't get enough
NO! Not with plum duff
That would really make me pout!

******************************

I'm particularly partial to Pumpkin!
Edited by Mobson, Nov 11 2012, 10:22 PM.
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waiting4atickle
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I'm particularly partial to Pumpkin!
But then, I'm a bit of a bumpkin.

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dai Cottomy
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I'm particularly partial to Pumpkin!
But then, I'm a bit of a bumpkin.
In a pie it's divine

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Norm Deplume
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I'm particularly partial to Pumpkin!
But then, I'm a bit of a bumpkin.
In a pie it's divine
As a soup it's sublime
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dai Cottomy
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I'm particularly partial to Pumpkin!
But then, I'm a bit of a bumpkin.
In a pie it's divine
As a soup it's sublime
As sure as my name's Cyril Munchkin.


My favourite colour is yellow
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waiting4atickle
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My favourite colour is yellow
It makes me fell ever so mellow

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dai Cottomy
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My favourite colour is yellow
It makes me fell ever so mellow
I don't much like blue

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waiting4atickle
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My favourite colour is yellow
It makes me feel ever so mellow
I don't much like blue
Well, you wouldn't, would you?

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tafkaj

My favourite colour is yellow
It makes me feel ever so mellow
I don't much like blue
Well, you wouldn't, would you?
Don't shout, please! There's no need to bellow.

***************************************************

THe President's back in his hutch

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dai Cottomy
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THe President's back in his hutch
Another four years of not much
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Mobson
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THe President's back in his hutch
Another four years of not much
Why so pessimistic?
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dai Cottomy
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THe President's back in his hutch
Another four years of not much
Why so pessimistic?
Just realistic
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Mobson
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THe President's back in his hutch
Another four years of not much
Why so pessimistic?
Just realistic
But possibly unfounded as such!
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Mobson
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What happens to the President elect?
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Norm Deplume
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What happens to the President elect?
He gets his credentials nicely checked
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Norm Deplume
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What happens to the President elect?
He gets his credentials nicely checked
By a man from CIA?
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Caro

What happens to the President elect?
He gets his credentials nicely checked
By a man from CIA?
They change by the day
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Norm Deplume
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What happens to the President elect?
He gets his credentials nicely checked
By a man from CIA?
They change by the day
But they do get their phone calls "collect"



A fishing boat far from the shoreline
Edited by Norm Deplume, Nov 14 2012, 11:48 AM.
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Mobson
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A fishing boat far from the shoreline
Owned by a fisherman's friend of mine
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Norm Deplume
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A fishing boat far from the shoreline
Owned by a fisherman's friend of mine
His anchor had snagged
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waiting4atickle
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A fishing boat far from the shoreline
Owned by a fisherman's friend of mine
His anchor had snagged
His wife had been <eh??> tagged

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Caro

A fishing boat far from the shoreline
Owned by a fisherman's friend of mine
His anchor had snagged
His wife had been <eh??> tagged
They all ended up in the brine.


In Tonga the boat's skipper was dead

[maybe: no identification yet, and he's been dead a while; nibbled by fish maybe while taking a boatful of drugs somewhere.]
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Norm Deplume
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In Tonga the boat's skipper was dead
They found him demised in his bed
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