Welcome Guest [Log In] [Register]
Add Reply
Limericks
Topic Started: Sep 18 2012, 09:07 AM (34,821 Views)
caissier
Member Avatar
Administrator
waiting4atickle

Yesterday, 10:44 PM IP: 86.28.198.150 ยท Post #3467








Posts:6,484Group:MembersMember#12Joined:Jul 11, 2011



There was an old hero called Ajax
who certainly lived life to the max
His fighting was mythic
His muscles terrythic
From the years he'd spent building haystacks.


Now they're gunning for poor old Brock


Edited by caissier, Sep 18 2012, 09:08 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Replies:
Caro

I must admit I dislike snow.
The reason why I do not know
Because it's so cold?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I must admit I dislike snow.
The reason why I do not know
'cos it's cold and wet?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

I must admit I dislike snow
The reason why I do not know
'cos it's cold and wet?
No fun for the pet
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I must admit I dislike snow
The reason why I do not know
'cos it's cold and wet?
No fun for the pet
I think I'll move to Borneo

I had my first Christmas card today








Edited by dai Cottomy, Dec 7 2016, 03:42 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

I had my first Christmas card today
Just moved house, my ones will go astray
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

I had my first Christmas card today
Just moved house, my ones will go astray
I'm writing mine now
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I had my first Christmas card today
Just moved house, my ones will go astray
I'm writing mine now
In spite of my vow
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

I had my first Christmas card today
Just moved house, my ones will go astray
I'm writing mine now
In spite of my vow
And the monstrous postage to pay.


It's time that I went for my lunch
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

It's time that I went for my lunch
Or perhaps I should call it brunch
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

It's time that I went for my lunch
Or perhaps I should call it brunch.
It's toasted cheese
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

It's time that I went for my lunch
Or perhaps I should call it brunch.
It's toasted cheese
Ooh Yummy - Yes Please!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

It's time that I went for my lunch
Or perhaps I should call it brunch.
It's toasted cheese
Ooh Yummy - Yes Please!
It'll do when it comes to the crunch.

It's high time I went to my bed.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

It's high time I went to my bed
Or go out and paint the town red
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

It's high time I went to my bed
Or go out and paint the town red
I know which I'll choose
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

It's high time I went to my bed
Or go out and paint the town red
I know which I'll choose
I'll just have a snooze

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

It's high time I went to my bed
Or go out and paint the town red
I know which I'll choose
I'll just have a snooze
Better a weary than a beery head


Though Irish, I am also Argentine
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

Though Irish, I am also Argentine
I'm Scotch with some Irish, I've seen
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

Though Irish, I am also Argentine
I'm Scotch with some Irish, I've seen
It's nice to have different roots
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

Though Irish, I am also Argentine
I'm Scotch with some Irish, I've seen
It's nice to have different roots
And enjoy all the fruits
Edited by Douglas, Dec 15 2016, 01:45 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Though Irish, I am also Argentine
I'm Scotch with some Irish, I've seen
It's nice to have different roots
And enjoy all he fruits
Including a ripe nectarine


I'm very fond of the Dutch
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

I'm very fond of the Dutch
Of their Oude Genever and such
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I'm very fond of the Dutch
Of their Oude Genever and such
That give us courage
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

I'm very fond of the Dutch
Of their Oude Genever and such
That gave us courage
And helped us to nourish
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I'm very fond of the Dutch
Of their Oude Genever and such
That gave us courage
And helped us to nourish
Our rabbit, but not very much.

Last night I had a frightening dream
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

Last night I had a frightening dream
As a Prog-Rocker, I thought it was Tangerine
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


Play nicely now, May-Cee.

Last night I had a frightening dream
As a Prog-Rocker, I thought it was Tangerine
'Twas so psychedelic

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

Last night I had a frightening dream
As a Prog-Rocker, I thought it was Tangerine
'Twas so psychedelic
Even funkadelic
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

Last night I had a frightening dream
As a Prog-Rocker, I thought it was Tangerine
'Twas so psychedelic
Even funkadelic
Hancock didn't have this palaver in East Cheam


I hate Christmas but so much to do
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I hate Christmas but so much to do
Cooking and cleaning and making fondue
Edited by dai Cottomy, Dec 27 2016, 09:04 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


I hate Christmas but so much to do
Cooking and cleaning and making fondue
All those bottles to open

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

I hate Christmas but so much to do
Cooking and cleaning and making fondue
All those bottles to open
And hope against hopin'
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I hate Christmas but so much to do
Cooking and cleaning and making fondue
All those bottles to open
And hope against hopin'
That I don't end up getting the 'flu

The New Year is nearly upon us
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

The New Year is nearly upon us
Some of us might get a bonus
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

The New Year is nearly upon us
Some of us might get a bonus
My new house is my charm
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

The New Year is nearly upon us
Some of us might get a bonus
My new house is my charm
But I'm chancing my arm
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

The New Year is nearly upon us
Some of us might get a bonus
My new house is my charm
But I'm chancing my arm
That money-wise there won't be much onus


In a way, we're a merry wee band
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

In a way, we're a merry wee band
Sitting here with a mouse in our hand
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

In a way, we're a merry wee band
Sitting here with a mouse in our hand
Pouring forth wit (?)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

In a way, we're a merry wee band
Sitting here with a mouse in our hand
Pouring forth wit (?)
You saucy wee git (!)
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

In a way, we're a merry wee band
Sitting here with a mouse in our hand
Pouring forth wit (?)
You saucy wee git (!)
While awaiting the promised land


All the world's a stage - so says the Bard


Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

All the world's a stage - so says the Bard
I've had plays done too - but it's hard
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

All the world's a stage - so says the Bard
I've had plays done too - but it's hard
Comic or tragic?
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

All the world's a stage - so says the Bard
I've had plays done too - but it's hard
Comic or tragic?
Just the feat feels magic
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

All the world's a stage - so says the Bard
I've had plays done too - but it's hard
Comic or tragic?
Just the feat feels magic
You could just pull the words from a card.


The tourists are here in droves
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

The tourists are here in droves
Feed 'em with two fish and five loaves
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


The tourists are here in droves
Feed 'em with two fish and five loaves
Then give 'em a sermon

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

The tourists are here in droves
Feed 'em with two fish and five loaves
Then give 'em a sermon
And a Bible to swear on
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


The tourists are here in droves
Feed 'em with two fish and five loaves
Then give 'em a sermon
And a Bible to swear on
And let them walk in the olive groves.


A spiky spokesperson from Speke

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

A spiky spokesperson from Speke
Was a lassie with a larder and a leek
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A spiky spokesperson from Speke
Was a lassie with a larder and a leek
She was no Mother Hubbard
Edited by Douglas, Jan 9 2017, 10:01 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

A spiky spokesperson from Speke
Was a lassie with a larder and a leek
She was no Mother Hubbard
Lots of veg in her cupboard
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

A spiky spokesperson from Speke
Was a lassie with a larder and a leek
She was no Mother Hubbard
Lots of veg in her cupboard
Which she cooked in a style mostly Greek.

There once was a soldier called Mike
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


There once was a soldier called Mike
Whom most of the troop didn't like

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

There once was a soldier called Mike
Whom most of the troop didn't like
He shouted and moaned
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There once was a soldier called Mike
Whom most of the troop didn't like
He shouted and moaned
The troop simply groaned
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


There once was a soldier called Mike
Whom most of the troop didn't like
He shouted and moaned
The troop simply groaned
And told him to take a long hike.


There was an old cooper from Kent

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was an old cooper from Kent
Who made barrels to help pay the rent
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


There was an old cooper from Kent
Who made barrels to help pay the rent
His skill with a hoop

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was an old cooper from Kent
Who made barrels to help pay the rent
His skill with a hoop
Made his friends whoop
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

There was an old cooper from Kent
Who made barrels to help pay the rent
His skill with a hoop
Made his friends whoop
For his barrels were worth every cent.

There was a young lass from Dalmilling
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was a young lass from Dalmilling
Who would show her boobs for a shilling
Edited by dai Cottomy, Feb 8 2017, 05:38 PM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

I was thinking last night about whether Dalmilling was pronounced as it looks and intended to check this morning, if it was I was going to say something like "In her pockets she just had a shilling".

There was a young lass from Dalmilling
Who would show her boobs for a shilling
A cheap going rate
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was a young lass from Dalmilling
Who would show her boobs for a shilling
A cheap going rate
When asked for a rebate
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

There was a young lass from Dalmilling
Who would show her boobs for a shilling
A cheap going rate
When asked for a rebate
Young Ned obliged her with a drilling!
Edited by Mobson, Feb 9 2017, 11:40 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

I'm feeling cranky as hell today
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

I'm feeling cranky as hell today
No worries - let it all out, Olรฉ!
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

I'm feeling cranky as hell today
No worries - let it all out, Olรฉ!
It's good to confess
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


I'm feeling cranky as hell today
No worries - let it all out, Olรฉ!
It's good to confess
So we don't have to guess

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

I'm feeling cranky as hell today
No worries - let it all out, Olรฉ!
It's good to confess
So we don't have to guess
What demons you have to allay.

A feisty young maid from Milan
Edited by Caro, Feb 10 2017, 03:57 AM.
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Mobson
Member Avatar

A feisty young maid from Milan
Met a young man so full of รฉlan
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A feisty young maid from Milan
Met a young man so full of รฉlan
As he weaved his spell
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A feisty young maid from Milan
Met a young man so full of รฉlan
As he weaved his spell
She let out a yell
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A feisty young maid from Milan
Met a young man so full of รฉlan
As he weaved his spell
She let out a yell
Crying "How very dare you, young man!"


A student fresh down from college
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A student fresh down from college,
Thinking his head full of knowledge,
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Caro

A student fresh down from college,
Thinking his head full of knowledge,
Thought he'd get by
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A student fresh down from college,
Thinking his head full of knowledge,
Thought he'd get by
By becoming a spy
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

A student fresh down from college,
Thinking his head full of knowledge,
Thought he'd get by
By becoming a spy
And planting two kinda bugs in the foliage


There was also the spy who came in from the cold
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was also the spy who came in from the cold
And discovered he was covered in mould
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


There was also the spy who came in from the cold
And discovered he was covered in mould
He showered for hours

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was also the spy who came in from the cold
And discovered he was covered in mould
He showered for hours
Till he smelt of flowers
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

There was also the spy who came in from the cold
And discovered he was covered in mould
He showered for hours
Till he smelt of flowers
And then could return to the fold.

There was a young fellow from Leeds
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was a young fellow from Leeds
Who was fond of doing good deeds
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

There was a young fellow from Leeds
Who was fond of doing good deeds
He'd work without rest
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was a young fellow from Leeds
Who was fond of doing good deeds
He'd work without rest
With oodles of zest
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

There was a young fellow from Leeds
Who was fond of doing good deeds
He'd work without rest
With oodles of zest
That nothing his mission impedes.

There was a young lass from Dunoon
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

There was young lass from Dunoon
Had a charming pen-pal from Cameroon
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was young lass from Dunoon
Had a charming pen-pal from Cameroon
He sent her a poem
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

There was young lass from Dunoon
Had a charming pen-pal from Cameroon
He sent her a poem
It was just to show 'em
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

There was young lass from Dunoon
Had a charming pen-pal from Cameroon
He sent her a poem
It was just to show 'em
He was far from being a buffoon

A corpulent cleric from Bude

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A corpulent cleric from Bude
Appeared in church in the nude
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

A corpulent cleric from Bude
Appeared in church in the nude
"Songs Of Praise" got to hear
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


A corpulent cleric from Bude
Appeared in church in the nude
"Songs Of Praise" got to hear
And shot him from the rear

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A corpulent cleric from Bude
Appeared in church in the nude
"Songs Of Praise" got to hear
And shot him from the rear
The word he uttered was quite rude

A comely young wench from Glamorgan
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


A comely young wench from Glamorgan
Was eyeing up a large organ

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A comely young wench from Glamorgan
Was eyeing up a large organ
"Wot a big'un", she cried
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


A comely young wench from Glamorgan
Was eyeing up a large organ
"Wot a big'un", she cried
"But will it fit inside

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
Douglas
Member Avatar

A comely young wench from Glamorgan
Was eyeing up a large organ
"Wot a big'un", she cried
"But will it fit inside ?
My car is only a Morgan."

A motorist out for a spin
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
May-Cee

A motorist out for a spin
He was Gordon, this involves gin
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
dai Cottomy
Member Avatar

A motorist out for a spin
He was Gordon, this involves gin
The cop said: "breathe into this"
Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
waiting4atickle
Member Avatar


A motorist out for a spin
He was Gordon, this involves gin
The cop said: "breathe into this"
Gordon said, "Gi' us a kiss"

Offline Profile Quote Post Goto Top
 
1 user reading this topic (1 Guest and 0 Anonymous)
Go to Next Page
« Previous Topic · Mornington Crescent · Next Topic »
Add Reply